Kim Jong No Longer Just Il.
Pyongyang: Dear Supreme Leader Kim Jong Il has now been anointed by the Gods of Heaven as Kim Jong Dead, according to North Korean official state media.
"While he was Il for a long time, he has now ascended to an even more exalted position by virtue of his...uh...many virtues," reported the national government.
"As the infallible father to the people of North Korea, Kim Jong Il was beyond compare. Now, as Kim Jong Dead, his wisdom and miraculous powers to benefit his faithful nation will only increase, as he sends psychic messages to our glorious Olympic competitors, follows American starlets from the great beyond, and imbibes cognac from snifters made of the stars themselves."
Reaction from the over one million people who died of starvation under his cartoonishly self-centered stranglehold on the nation was somewhat more reserved.
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what Gregorian had for this story.
And, my deepest sympathies and hopes for the people of North Korea.
Rest in pieces, Kimmie. Let me know how hot it is where you are now.
Kim Jong Paul
