Top Ten Conservative Idiots of the Week

[Nanjing to Seoul]

[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]The Remembering Greatness EDITION[/font]

“Now, he is for the ages.” Last week, the world saw the passing of Nelson Mandela, one of the examples of true class an humanity. The world is a better place because of Mr. Mandela and he may never be replaced, if greatness like that can be replaced. However, political vulture (1, 2, 3, 4) decided to either rain on the parade or use Mandela to support their narrow political bullcrap. In other news, Scott Brown (6) is dumb, the CA GOP is dumber (7) and Ted Cruz is the dumbest (10). And as always, don't forget the key. Remember, you can run your mouse over the icon to see what it means. At the end, the writer will give a small tribute to one of the greatest men of the past 100 years.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rick Santorum[/font]
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Sometimes great men are made. Sometimes great men are born. But for every great man made or born are 10,000 morons. Step up Rick Santorum (R-Frothy Mix). Mr. Fecal Matter had the nerve to get onto Fix Noise and compare Mandela’s fight to end Apartheid to the GOP’s fight to deny health insurance coverage to Americans.

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Deconstruction time:

01: “Nelson Mandela stood up against a great injustice.” Dismissive at best, racist at worst. Injustice? The torment of black people by racist white people (supported by the US Government because South Africa was anti-Communist) is an injustice? No! Get busted for doing 70 MPH in a 65 MPH is an injustice. Apartheid was state sponsored and sanctioned racism, cruelty, barbarism and subjugation. Similar to the desire to deny gay people the right to marry. . .eh, Ricky?

02: ”I mean, what he was advocating for was not necessarily the right answer.” Yes, I mean, after all, according to St. Ronnie of Raygun, Mandela was a terrorist. And a Communist. And ending state sponsored brtuality and racism is never the right answer. Ask the southern states that supported slavery right until they lost the Civil War. What an asshole!

03: ”we have a great injustice going on right now in this country.”. Leonard Peltier? Gay marriage denials? Life sentences for drug offenses? What injustice are you talking about, Ricky?

04: ”an ever-increasing size of government that is taking over and controlling people's lives, and Obamacare is front and center in that." Health insurance is bad? And it’s the same as being locked up in prison for 25 years for nothing? What a dick!

However, nothing is more insulting than Bill O’Reilly coming out and, in the same article, gassing about

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Based on what, Billy? Your crystal ball? Your bullshit-o-meter? Tea leaves? You people love to throw that word around. It’s one of your favorite attack words.

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:::speechless::::

Ricky compares his fight to kill health insurance coverage with Mandela’s struggle and O’Reilly attacks Mandela, then claims he would never do that.

People should be shocked, but this is typical. Wonder what will be said when Aung San Suu Kyi dies in Burma. Probably something like “what she did wasn’t the right answer. The Burmese MIC needs to have control to stop Communists” or some such nonsense.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Mandela Hating Conservatives[/font]
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So the dice have been rolled. The talking point has been made. No one who is a good American should mourn the loss of Nelson Mandela because he was a terrorist and communist.

Of course, conservative and Republican lawmakers don’t see it like that, because if they did and spoke out publicly, it would be political suicide. So, they all praised Nelson Mandela with as much praise as they could. Even Ted “Booze” Cruz jumped on the bandwagon. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) [link: https://www.facebook.com/tedcruzpage/posts/10152099242462464|wrote on his facebook] that Mandela "will live in history as an inspiration for defenders of liberty around the globe." One commenter took a different view of the anti-apartheid leader's legacy, urging "all you Mandela lovers head on over to South Africa and see what's going on now that 'Mandela's people' have control of the nation."

Can’t have that! Here’s what a Republican posted on his facebook.

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Damn turncoat! White people claiming reverse racism can be assuming if they weren’t serious about thinking they are truly oppressed.

Here are more against Ted Cruz from his followers. Baggers are so rational and intelligent.

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02: Mr. Cruz, not exactly. Nelson Mandela was a communist who murdered many people. He caused that capital of South Africa become a place where rate of rape was in first ten at whole world. I won't cry, because in history were many people who were real advocates of freedom.

03: Nelson Mandela was a socialist terrorizer of white Africans, hated Capitalism and didn't think commoners had a right to private property, and thought government should control and distribute wealth …

04: He was a convicted terrorist and a leader in the Communist Party … good grief Ted!!!!

05: I disagree Mr. Senator. Do not fall victim to the media's lies. The man was a Communist, a terrorist and a racist. He was a murderous communist serving in prison for thousands of white murders. Don't whitewash the true history of this murdering villain. Instead of buying into the media glorification, read the violent history of South Africa Marxist murdering scum … I'm done wasting my time thinking about this

Time to get out the primary challenge. Maybe the Texas Baggers can get Fred Phelps to run.

Marco Rubio said “Mandela "showed South Africans and the entire world what the power of forgiveness truly means and can accomplish." Can’t have that! Cue Conservative poutrage!

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Damn. . .that second one said Rubio has no balls! Amazing! Racist, ignorant and sexist! Notice the meme! Nelson Mandela = Communist, reverse racist terrorist. Sounds like the same crap these troglodytes scream about President Obama.

Lastly, the Ohio Tearduct spoke up on the passing of Mandela, praising “Mandela's "perseverance in fighting the apartheid system.” Cue the simple sound byte response.

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And the media thinks those people should be listened to and their views accepted? Yes. . .there is no difference between Republicans and Democrats. None at all. . .unless one looks at the reality. Then there is a difference, but no one will say that. It isn’t in the meme.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rush Limbaugh[/font]
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El Lard-bo decided to put down his Oxycotin for a while to weigh in on the passing of Nelson Mandela. And the train wreck begins.

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Hmmm. . .sounds like a good start. Maybe the Gasbag knows this is someone that should be honored and not slammed. Maybe Rush is turning a new leaf. Please continue, kinder, gentler Rush.

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Can’t pull out of the skid, can you? Media Matters posted the entire diatribe (if you want to waste precious moments of your life listening to that scumbag) so there is no refuting it! Rush is a racist!

Just for fun, caption this photo in the comments.

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“Where are my viagra and oxycotin pills?”
“Why am I a big fat gasbag?”
“Oh shit. . .I just shit my pants”

So, Nelson Mandela would not have been a leader of the American Civil Rights movement. Let’s see what the man said about that in 1990 at Yankee Stadium.

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He also believed in labor unions, hated the Iraq War and the War on Terrorism. He didn’t approve of drone attacks and labeling people terrorists without due process of law. He didn’t turn his back on people who helped him because it was politically expedient (like Castro). He blasted American imperialism, blasted poverty and those that enable and profit from it and called out the United States for his racism and its racist past.

No wonder Baggers hate him. Mandela handed them a mirror and said look at yourself. And Baggers don’t like what they see. Instead of changing, they do what they always do. Attack!


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rick Clark[/font]
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Last on the Mandela tributes, we have Sheriff Rick Clark of of Pickens County, SC. He loves Mandela so much, he told people that, even though flags should be flown at half staff to honor his passing, he will tell President Obama to go screw himself.


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I ask Boss Hogg here to read this then go do what the law says. If this guy can read.

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I wonder what will happen when Tony Blair dies. Or a foreigner that Republicans like dies.

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]NH Legislature[/font]
[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Batshit Crazy"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Massive Ego"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Shocked, Shocked I Tell Ya"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Lame"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Fat Cat"]

What does a Legislature run by Republicans do to improve the lives of the people in their states? In New Hamsphire, they take a pledge. But not a pledge to help people, a pledge to allow a shadowy PAC to to have their loyalty first and foremost.

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“I will act with loyalty and put the interests of the organization first.” Isn’t it nice to know that George Orwell’s Animal Farm is now a political idea in the United States. Party first. All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

ALEC has been part of some of the worst legislation ideas in the past 20 years. Let’s look at the results.

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So, they pretty much back everything anti-American. Love America, hate Americans. What are these “peoples’” plans for 2014?

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One was forgotten: To change the pledge of allegiance to:

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And to the Republic they seek to destroy
One nation, Under a good Christian God
Divided among the upper 1%
With liberty and justice for all those that can buy it

The rest of you peons go fuck yourselves while you watch American Idol.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Scott Brown[/font]
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Gaffs happen when a politician speaks. Everyone remembers Dan Quayle’s “potatoe” and Obama’s “57 states comment.” Gaffs happen. It’s expected.

Scott Brown is no exception. Playgirl pinup knows he can’t win in MA anymore, so now he’s running for the US Senate in New Hampshire. Except he can’t seem to tell people in New Hampshire that he is in New Hampshire.

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Oopsy. Londonderry, NH is not in Massachusetts, Scott.

I’m sure the Republicans in the Granite State are proud that this political carpetbagger still thinks he’s in Boston. I’m sure that will go over well in Manchester, Concord and where he was speaking Londonderry.

Maybe Brownie needs a map. . .or a brain. Or both!


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]CA GOP[/font]
[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Crook"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Massive Ego"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Pig"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Lame"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Lying"]

The GOP really hates the idea of people not going bankrupt because they got sick. They hate it so much they have spent all their time and energy to destroy it. Over 40 times in the House. GOP Governors refusing to implement it in their state. Pundits claiming it will destroy America. And now it looks like political parties wasting money to make fake websites that look like the regular state exchange website.

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Republicans in California are so happy with this. Their hard earned money they donated to their party is being used to fund a website that anyone with 1/2 a brain and six seconds of time can see if bullcrap. Imagine the time, energy, bandwidth, servers, graphics and money it took to create the lie.

Stay classy, GOP. . .and keep wondering why, other than your ignorant, froth at the mouth base, voters in America are abandoning you.


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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Ralph Hudgens[/font]
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But California isn’t the only place where Republicans are losing their minds over health care. Georgia is another place. Insurance Commissioner (!) Ralph Hudgens made a few interesting comments to a group of Republican women last week, stating that a pre-existing medical condition is similar to having an accident on your driving record and that medical insurance companies should have the right to charge more or deny coverage outright. It’s all your fault.

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Please tell us which companies said that Ralphie. Let the world so people know who they can avoid in the marketplace.

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Oh boy. . .here comes the “health insurance is like car insurance” argument again.

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Cancer is always my fault. So is Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes. PKU! You were in the womb. You should have known what was going to happen. Besides, the sperm cell that went into the egg should have known.

“Shania, they bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say let ‘em crash!”

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[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Rabbi Moshe Meiselman[/font]
[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Religious Nut"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Religious Nut"][div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Dumb"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Just Plain Evil"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Sex"]

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Rabbi Meiselman thus states, with regard to metzitzah [b'peh, the direct mouth-to-penis sucking haredi mohels do after cutting off the baby's foreskin] (pp. 239-40), that "Chazal's assessment overrides that of modern medicine," because "Chazal understood the situation better than the physicians." He stresses that "we rely upon their judgment unswervingly, even if medical opinion says otherwise.…[Therefore,] the mohel must suction the wound in a traditionally prescribed manner [with his mouth]."

These are the words of one Moshe Meiselman, an ultra orthodox Jewish rabbi who seems to say the Torah and bible sanction child molestation if it is done by a Mohel. For those not up on Jewish culture, a mohel nips the tip for a biblical and culturally accepted circumcision.

According to the rabbi, this is all safe and good. Giving a baby oral sex in order to stop bleeding is acceptable and perfectly normal. And safe. Except when people die. Which seems to be often.

The article lays out two arguments on why the rabbi is an idiot.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]First, a significant number of Yeshiva University students spend a year abroad studying in Meiselman's yeshiva in Israel and Meiselman used to the principal of Yeshiva University High Schools of Los Angeles.

The second is that Meiselman claims that anytime a rabbi of the Talmudic era said anything definitive about the physical world, science or medicine and the Talmud does not contradict him, that opinion is the truth and has to be followed because "Chazal understood the situation better than the physicians." And Meiselman says this about metzitzah b'peh – despite the well-documented deaths, injuries and maiming that have killed and sickened so many babies.

I guess saying “the rabbi is using the bible to allow pedophiles to molest children in the name of God” is a little too raw. Gotta keep it classy.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]
[font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]Ted Cruz[/font]
[div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Partisanship"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Massive Ego"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Dumb"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Just Plain Evil"] [div style="display:inline-block; padding-left:0.3077em;" title="Cheese"]

And finally, Ted “Talk” Cruz rounds out this week of moronic BS by producing a coloring book in time for Christmas. Just what no child around the country wants. A coloring book with Ferret Face Cruz teaching us things approved in the mind of Ted Cruz and the hearts of Teabaggers everywhere.

Yes, if you go to Amazon and give Ted Cruz, with Amazon as a conduit $5.39, you too can spend your time with your kids learning fun facts about Booze Cruz while coloring in his picture. Look at the fun lessons people can learn about Ted Cruz.
[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Ted Cruz Is A Man Of Great Virility And Stamina: Many “career establishment politicians are far too out of shape, old or overweight to even perform such a magnificent feat” as standing on the Senate floor and talking for over 21 hours. But not Ted Cruz!
Try explaining to your kid what virility means. And out of shape, old and fat? Is he looking at you, Michael Enzi?
[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Ted Cruz Can See The Future: Cruz spoke with “clairvoyant precision” about the “quickly approaching Obama Care disaster.

Quick. Ted can see the future. Ask him for this week’s Powerball numbers.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Cruz Is The Constitution’s Guardian: Ted Cruz is a “passionate fighter for limited government, economic growth, and the Constitution.

Except that 14th amendment that insures equal protection under the law. Ask him his position on gay marriage.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]America Is A Christian Nation: American history is “replete with official references to the value and invocation of Divine guidance, including official Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, House and Senate chaplains, the national motto ‘In God We Trust,” the Pledge of Allegiance, [and] religious paintings in the National Gallery.” So hands off those government-sponsored Ten Commandments monuments!

Jews around the country should feel good Ted Cruz thinks they are second class citizens. Same with Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists and the rest of all those heathen non-Christian religions.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Providing Health Care To People Who Can’t Afford It Is Worse Than War: Cruz’s failed stand against the Affordable Care Act “was so important because millions of citizens believe Obama Care is worse than any war. At least American soldiers have weapons with which to defend themselves.”

No one died getting health insurance, Ted. And what do you know about war, Mr. I never served.

Yes for $5.39 from Amazon, you can buy this “trees had to die for this crap” book.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]

Even in a coloring book, he looks like he needs to take a dump.

Funny thing is, according to Amazon, it is currently unavailable. And the reviews are just the most snarky things you could ever read.

Ted Cruz makes himself sound like a savior. That he should crawl into the casket with Nelson Mandela and absorb all that Mandela goodness. Ted might even think he is the second coming of Mandela. Or Jesus. . .or maybe just the second coming of a bad dinner that one ate that upset the stomach and is leaving the body from the in hole rather than the out hole.

See you next week.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"][font style="font-size:1.539em; text-transform:uppercase;"]A Tribute[/font]

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#F4E0E0; border:1px solid #E8C0C0; box-shadow:-1px -1px 3px #C66666 inset; border-radius:0.6em; margin:0.5385em 0em 0em 0.5385em;"]Nelson Mandela was a hero of mine. Probably one of the five greatest people in the 20th Century. In no order:

Mohandas Gandhi
Nelson Mandela
Aung San Suu Kyi
Desmond Tutu
The American leaders of the Civil Rights Movement (Evers, King, Chavez)

I first learned about Nelson Mandela when I watched Lethal Weapon 2 for the first time as a kid. I didn’t understand Apartheid and why Danny Glover was involved in a protest. So, unlike most of my classmates, I ran into the library and just started reading. Then I learned about the plight of Mandela. I remember at that moment, my social conscience turned on. I was ten years old.

I began talking to my classmates about the things I learned. I began beginning the school to help me do something, anything, to stop the injustice. I was ten years old and in 5th grade. Young, idealistic and truly passionate about working to end Apartheid.

As I went into HS and university, I began reading more on Mandela’s life and his struggle. And it began to mold my political outlook. I tried to truly put myself in his shoes and worked on the same issues he devoted his life to. As such, I became a teacher and used my classroom as my forum to work to bring change one student at a time.

There are only a few people that have truly influenced my life. Most died before I was born. Gandhi, Harry Chapin, Franklin Roosevelt. . .Nelson Mandela.

The world lost an angel last week. We lost one of the greatest people to ever live. And now, free of the shackles of prison, of illness, of suffering and of torment, Nelson Mandela’s true greatness as a man and a fighter can be studied, examined and emulated.

This was a man. This was a hero. This is God’s image for mankind.

I never met the man. But he changed my life. Goodbye, Mr. Nelson Mandela.

And thank you for everything.

Nanjing to Seoul


Nelson Mandela
July 18th, 1918 - December 5th , 2013

[CBGLuthier]

1. "Republicans lie" is an almost invisible typo.

The last line of item 4. I can see why it was hard to spot as nothing seems wrong about the word Republicans next to the word lie.

However, I am sure you meant "like."

[Nanjing to Seoul]

4. fixed

[octoberlib]

2. K&R

[Scuba]

3. Thank you Nanjing!

[Nanjing to Seoul]

6. You're welcome.

It's done because it was my favorite feature and I want to continue it.

I hope I can live up to EarlG's awesome example.

[Mc Mike]

5. Thanks N to S. Rec. nt.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

7. Excellent work!

[spanone]

8. k&r...