Ever had a bully for a boss?

[FatBuddy]

I defy you to show me one that isn't a micromanager and who doesn't want to have a say in practically EVERYTHING a subordinate is doing, going to do, or planning to do.

In fact, they usually shun proactive types/creative types/independent types. Top down is in their blood. And if you are doing something, you're probably following their incessant orders, directives, or scheme of the day.

This goes through my head when I think about Governor Christie (R-Fuckstain).

[Ino]

1. I've had a bully for a husband

and he fit your description perfectly.

[LukeFL]

45. I have seen those and after bulling you

Degrading you or complaining about you when you get upset, they act surprised as if we can't take a joke and or we are too defensive.

Yeah, I hace seen those

[angstlessk]

2. Oh, yes...years ago...I would gauge my success by how loud (low) his yelling was...

and it was over EVERY INVOICE THAT EVER GOT PAID...FROM ONE DOLLAR TO TENS OF THOUSANDS...

He micro managed every dollar spent by that company..and yelled whenever he thought someone authorized too much money, and demanded I either show him EVERY PIECE OF PAPER REGRADING THE PURCHASE..or he would interrogate the purchaser of said questionable purchase.

[dorkzilla]

3. Yep, some who are/were legend in entertainment and Wall Street

You nailed it. Micro-managing every moment of the day.

Once I had a telephone thrown at me because of margin on an invitation that wasn't to the boss's liking. A.FUCKING.MARGIN. After he didn't hit me he said "its a good thing you practice ducking all the time, Dorky."

In addition to micro-managing, they resort to name-calling or veiled physical threats. When you call them on it, the response is always "It was a joke!!! Can't you take a joke, you little wimp? Geez I was just kidding".

I've had 3 great bosses in my life, 2 were at the same time (it was a very nice threesome of sorts). They were the kindest people I've ever known and got much more out of me than the meanies.

[2naSalit]

4. Yes

the hard part is that when you've had enough and decide to walk, if you don't have another job lined up you'll have a hard time explaining that to the UI folks to get benefits after quitting. There is such an offense (according to EEOC law) known as "hostile environment" but it won't get you very far in the argument unless something far more egregious is part of or THE main argument and that require an attorney to get the point if making a case.

[dixiegrrrrl]

19. I got a job lined up and then quit...twice.

Both bosses were women, both directors of the agencies involved.
One reneged on our salary agreement,knowing that I badly needed the job.
The other kept blocking me from the certifcation courses I needed to maintain my license.
Both times it was a pleasure to announce my registration publicly at a staff meeting, stating why I was leaving.
Both times other staff told me they wished they could leave also.

That was back in the day when jobs in my field were not too hard to get.

[lumberjack_jeff]

5. Yeah. 14 years.

The drive to feed ones family is powerful.

[FatBuddy]

6. I hear ya

there are probably millions of stories of untold, unheralded nobility such as yours.

I completely understand.

[lumberjack_jeff]

8. The irony is that getting out of that situation was better for me... and the family too.

People who write about simplicity describe a kind of income/fulfillment curve. As your income gets farther from the level required for meeting basic needs, that curve flattens out. The marginal benefit from earning an additional dollar decreases. At some point the curve crests and the effort required for additional income actually makes you less happy.

I don't want the lifestyle that earning and spending six figures requires. It was a pleasant surprise when it turned out that my family didn't either.

[Orrex]

59. Whoops--wrong place!

[brewens]

7. I have a wanna be boss that is in a position where he has some limited authority.

He's on thin ice from what I hear and about to have his job description re-written to limit his responsibilities. He's like you say, a real micro-manager and he's a total snot nosed OCD punk! I defied one of his bullshit orders and he threatened to go to our HQ, where he works and go through channels to get me. He got his ass handed to him! My real supervisor and department manager told him they weren't going to enforce his bullshit.

He got shot down in flames partly because my real bosses know to just leave me alone and let me do what I need to do. I handle my end of things at a remote blood center. That mostly means my computer gear and the mobile collections vehicles. He's dumb enough to think he wants to micro-manage me when I could make that a nightmare for him. We're 100 miles away. He better be careful what he asks for! He's pretty much going to be gone eventually I think. He might even quit when they drop the bomb on him over the new job description. I'm not supposed to know about it at all. I thought about blowing the lid off the whole thing with an anonymous email to him telling him about it and to eat shit! I'm afraid management would then go on the warpath looking to fire someone. I wouldn't want the wrong people to get screwed.

I had a bully for a boss at a beer distributor for several years. One incident was when I told out warehouse supervisor in mid October that it was time to turn the big heaters on. That involved getting up there to light the pilot lights. The boss was his dad and overheard me. Despite my having handled this before along with telling his son when it was time to shut the heaters down early in the spring, he jumps in and says, "hell no! Not yet, we don't want you running those heaters all the time this early." So I end up freezing my ass for a few weeks until it got really cold and they had to turn the heaters on.

That cost him! Okay stupid fuck! Who's going to tell you in the spring to shut the heaters down to save money until the next fall? Not me! Not your son! I just turned the thermostats all the way down so they would never kick on and left it that way. The next fall when I needed heat, fired them right up. It stayed that way for the next five years or so that I worked there. I think I had to get up there and relight a pilot light once but I just did it without asking anyone.

[jsr]

9. Exactly.

[Egalitarian Thug]

10. For a few minutes. I'm not a good employee by any means, and the idea of

subjecting myself to the vagaries of a sociopath has always been more than I'm willing to put up with.

[Rex]

11. My last job, he was a master bully.

He would shame his staff if they had the audacity to go to the bathroom! He would constantly remind us what a privilege it was to work for him and for bonuses like going to get some food to eat for lunch etc.. A real piece of work this one was, you could tell he was allowed decades to form his abusive all-knowing behavior and that nobody ever dared to question him on anything.

Thankfully I will never have to see his butt ugly face again or hear how special we are, because he allowed us to go to the bathroom while on working hours.

A very sad little man with an ego the size of Gibraltar.

[Initech]

12. I had a bully supervisor, that sucked to no end.

Thank god it's over with.

[notadmblnd]

13. Oh yeah and he got his in the end.

He was a racist/sexist pig. But I kept a work diary when he began harassing me. The first thng he did was call me into the office to discuss my relationship with my future husband. He told me how he didn't think it was right for people to have relationships outside their race. He told me that he didn't like where the company put him up (Southfield Mi) when he relocated from from Hoboken, New Jersey. He told me how he didn't like living amongst black people or his kids going to school with them. Then he told me that his boss had a problem with me, I had a bad attitude etc. I guess he didn't think I would go to his boss and ask what the problem was. To make a long story short, he was eventually fired, attempted to sue for wrongful termination and lost in good part to my deposition. But that wasn't the end, oh no. He went to work for another company and when they outsourced their IT to my company, he was fired again.

[spooky3]

14. The bully for whom I worked got promoted.

[notadmblnd]

15. I'll tell anyone, the best thing you can do is keep a work diary

who, what, when, where. If it was a good day, write down t was a good day, if there is some kind of issue, write it down, who said what, when, where, date, time. It can be used as evidence in a court of law.

[spooky3]

17. Yes, I learned too late how good that advice was.

Fortunately, I got another job in another org., but the whole process was very costly.

[Initech]

25. Like I said I had a bully supervisor.

And it was a really rocky relationship since she (yes) had a teenage son that has a criminal history and because of that she unloaded on me and accused me very often and very publicly of doing things I wasn't doing. Finally I had enough and when I started keeping a log of what was happening my boss started taking this very seriously.

[notadmblnd]

27. funny how attitudes change when they know you're keeping score

aint it?

[Initech]

34. Yup and my supervisor ultimately quit after the boss started wishing up to what was happening.

[raccoon]

36. I second that emotion, having worked for bullies in the past. nt

[doc03]

16. I had bullies, assholes, idiots and nice guys that knew their job. The nice guys that knew their job

got fired.

[Holly_Hobby]

18. OMG yes

A retired State Hwy Patrolman that bought a business and thought he was God. Extremely childish and belligerent. I stuck it out for 6 months, and made sure I got fired by refusing to talk to him or answer his emails. I had a transcription tape of his extreme verbal abuse and threatened to use it if he made any attempt whatsoever to fight my Unemployment. Always, always cover your ass when you work for a bully.

[ananda]

20. Yes, I had a very toxic boss for nine months.

I was happy to get out of there, I can tell you.

[Buns_of_Fire]

21. Oh, yes. Several. I think anyone who has worked for more than a couple of years has.

The good ones always seemed to get marginalized, while the psychotics got promoted to spread their particular brand of misery over more people. Just like clockwork.

[freshwest]

22. Yes, and they are dishonest and intensely vindictive. They will even ruin their company's reputation

by sabotaging jobs to attempt to hurt someone they don't like, or who stands up to them.

They have their set of cronies who get what they want, make blatant shows of favoritism and scapegoats, and they never give in. In most cases they have dirt on their superiors to allow their rogue actions.

As far as getting a job or mission done for the public, it means little to them unless they will get a bonus. They don't care about doing it right or for long-term advantage. They have no respect for civil rights or 'doing the right thing.' It's just not part of their mindset.

I went to human resources over my difiiculties dealing with one. I gave as neutral a description as possible when asking for advice. But the counslor surprised me by saying:

'You're not doing anything wrong. The man is a psychopath. The only solution is to transfer away from him.'

Which I eventually did but he kept on being that way and spreading chaos. After a number of outrageous incidents, he was sent to a backwater until his retirement. I'm sure he felt he was the victim of minorities and votes teabagger.

That was in more enlightened times than we are dealing with now.

[Buns_of_Fire]

30. You're fortunate in that you were finally able to transfer out from under them.

Every transfer request I put in was actively blocked (I was told this by some of the other managers I tried to transfer under). When, finally, she managed to move one of her toadies into being my supervisor, I got my first bad review in my life -- and the company had a policy that, if your last review was bad, you were ineligible for a transfer. Catch-22.

[freshwest]

35. He denied a transfer I wanted to move out of town by getting the crew boss there to withdraw it, but

we had a union so there was no rule about being ineligible. Just qualified. I was always qualified, my quality, production and safety were great. He did it the good ol' boy way, went around the bidding system.

He got later got into a great deal of trouble and was blackballed from promotion. Also warned in union hearings to never say another word to me or he would be fired.

I transferred to another job, but at times when our paths would cross, he literally ran out of whatever room I was inOverall, it was a physically and financially punishing mess for me that should've never happened.

Hope you find a way to get out from under what you're dealing with. If your firm has educational benefis, I'd suggest getting into something your boss and his cronies can't interfere with your life again. Not all work environment in a large corporation are run the same.

[Buns_of_Fire]

55. Thanks. The situation finally resolved itself. They fired me.

The toady even managed to get me marked "ineligible for rehire" (something they had previously only used if you were caught misappropriating the company's assets, and essentially blackballed you with every similar firm in the area) and even tried to block any unemployment benefits. But since the toady didn't bother to show up at the hearing (I think it was one of their scheduled "manager golf days&quot , it went through anyway. I was soon working for a much nicer group of people, so it all worked out in the end, more or less.

It was twenty years ago, and while I no longer hold any burning hatred for my tormentors, I'm still amazed at how petty and vindictive some people in positions of authority can be -- and to what lengths some corporations will go to protect them.

[CTyankee]

23. Yes. Mine had Bipolar Disorder which I didn't know at the time.

And she wasn't taking her meds. I didn't know what was going on. One day she would be fine and your best friend and a week later she was a monster. I gave up in despair after 4 years and got another job and found out by accident that she herself had admitted she had been diagnosed as Bipolar. Then it all made sense. I ran into her a few years after I had left and she was all kissy face and "How ARE you?!" and smiley. By that time I had found out her problem so I understood. She couldn't hurt me then so I was relaxed and OK. But she really hurt other people who suffered at her treatment of them...

[bvar22]

24. Yes... but not for long.

Back before the RICH invented "Free Trade" and the "Invisible Hand",
employers had to compete for good workers.

I was lucky to have spent my Labor Years during the times when you could tell a Bully Boss to bend over and take a fat one,
walk down the street,
and get a better job without too much trouble
as long as you were willing to do a day's work for a day's pay.

Now that the good jobs have been shipped to Slave Labor Countries,
its much scarier to quit a bad job.

[OLDMDDEM]

26. Christie

He was mild compared to a boss I had 20 years ago. Evil, evil man.

[99Forever]

28. Yep.

Many places being a bully and an asshole are prerequisites to getting a "boss" job. That and asskissing those above you.

[lpbk2713]

29. My first job during high school was bagging groceries.

The store manager had just gotten out of the Army where he was a Captain
in the MP's. He really enjoyed being a royal pain in the ass. Since it was my
first job I didn't have a real good idea what to expect. I wish I knew then
what I know now.

[marlakay]

31. Most of my bosses were bullies but...

I trained my daughter right. She is top manager of a large car dealership with lots of employees, they all love her because she works her ass off right down beside them, she gave them her phone number to text if they needed her even when she is off.

She listens to ideas and will fight the owner to get raises for them but...after some verbal warnings she has fired people who take advantage of how nice she is and don't show up without calling or texting.

[FatBuddy]

39. Sometimes I'm afraid I come off rude or uncaring with our sales team

It's not because I'm not interested, but we hire people with the expectation that we don't have time to babysit them, plus we encourage autonomy, decision-making, independent thought.

I got so much on my own desk, so when the new person comes up to me with questions they should be able to answer themselves, sometimes I get very impatient.

I REALLY need to work on that.

[marlakay]

42. Try to work as a team

My daughters desk is piled up and she works long hours but tries to answer questions. Don't feel bad she has crappy days too, owner piles it all on her.

One thing she did when other manger got fired and she took over she was junior manager was she allowed music in the office. Other manager was so strict no one liked job it was just for money and they had a lot of turn over to the other car places that treated people better.

I sent a fun mini lit tree for the office end of nov. There is simple things that make a big difference with employees.

[Thinkingabout]

32. Had several over the years and the best thing to do is maintain a diary with times, dates, places,

What was said and who said it. As a job Stewart many problems was corrected when this information was presented to their supervisor which was given a different story. One particular supervisor was trying to give his scab employee all the overtime, I filed a grievance with prejudice since it was a male/female issue. His supervisor concurred with our position and the overtime was handled properly. He bitched and moaned then later told me he did not realize I could do the job and do it well.

[otohara]

33. State Said My Boss Was A Threat

to my well-being in my fight to get unemployment insurance.

He also said, any reasonable individual would feel their physical safety was at risk.

I've had many bully bosses - especially in the radio industry.

[arthritisR_US]

37. Excellent point! nt

[Historic NY]

38. Remember how pissed he was, because Springsteen wouldn't talk with him...

http://www.salon.com/2012/06/25/the_boss_can_snub_christie/

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/jersey-boys/309019/

[dionysus]

40. no, i consider myself very lucky in the boss department. i'm probably an outlier.

[Aristus]

41. Yes. Worst job I ever had.

He was an intellectual bully, rather than physical or verbal bully.

One of the very first things he told me after he hired me was: 'You know, the people here compete to see who can be the first one at the office in the mornings."

I still remember, with dread, waking up in the cold darkness of my apartment every morning, willing myself to get out of bed and schlep to the office for another day of mind-games from that guy. I wanted to be there first, because according to him, getting there first was worth competing for.

He would set you up for a task, let you know his expectations, tell you to formulate plans to achieve the task, and then tell you to do the opposite of what he had just prepared you for. He had a degree in industrial psychology, and must have thought it great fun to psych out his employees.

I admit to being poorly equipped to handle such goings-on, and not very good at my job. I imagine that's why he fired me after three months. He was the first boss to ever fire me, and I took it hard. Especially since I had given up a not-very-good-but-better-than-this-bullshit-job to go to work for him.

I was unemployed for five months after getting fired, and it was one of the worst times in my life. The shame, the humiliation, the sense of failure.

That guy was an irredeemable asshole...

[AndreaCG]

43. I wouldn't call my boss a bully

I do refer to him as totally devoid of empathy, a trait shared with sociopaths. (I cannot fairly call him an actual sociopath fortunately for me.)

[Nikia]

44. At my previous company, both the owner who worked on site and my boss before I left were bullies

The owner was a pound you into the ground type of guy. He was always right even when it defied objective reality. We said lots of insulting things to employees and always wanted to blame everyone. From all accounts, this was how he always was.
My immediate supervisor that I had for my last 6 months blamed me for everything and seemed to be actively trying to make me feel worthless. It may have been because she felt insecure and needed to eliminate me as a threat to her position.
My current boss isn't a bully, to me anyway, and gives me a lot of latitude to do what I want. It is a complete change from what I was used to. It definitely has made me more confident, a better problem solver, able to take more initiative, and probably a better overall worker.

[randome]

46. A year at Wells Fargo. IT department.

Our boss belittled us, demanded we work extra hours, always found an opportunity to showcase our failings while promoting his own infallibility.

This was during my divorce. It was a depressing time. Fortunately, a confluence of events marked the end of that era: the divorce turned my way, I found another job and I closed on the house I bought for my daughters.

So...yin and yang. Or something.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Precision and concision. That's the game.[/center][/font][hr]

[RebelOne]

47. Not so much bullies,

but had many bosses who sexually harassed me.

[senseandsensibility]

48. Yes.

Many people, regardless of their sex, race, or age are extremely ego-centric and make terrible bosses. Nevertheless, ego-centric people are more likely to be bosses.

[GreenEyedLefty]

49. Oh, yes.

Just as you described. I worked for her for 3 years. It was a freak show. She retired a few months ago.

[WillyT]

50. Yes...

Passive/Agressive Bully... And Unfortunately.... Female.

[MADem]

51. I've had a few--a couple were top-downers, others were tearer-downers.

The tearer-downers would criticize the work of their subordinates and denigrate their contributions.

For every stinker of a boss I've had, I've had at least one good 'un to make up for the lousy one.

[Cleita]

52. More often than not.

However, our business structure favors kings. Some kings are bullies.

[Liberal_in_LA]

53. yes, unfortunately. not any more.

[Lint Head]

54. Yes. And a psychopath.

[chervilant]

56. The worst bully boss I had

subjected me to my first (and only) wrongful termination. Intellectually, he is a few fries short of a happy meal,which he demonstrated when he cobbled together two pages of allegations that I could easily refute with pages from my daily log and my daily planner (he apparently forgot I kept a daily log).

His supervisors circled their wagons, and I was told I have no recourse. They still owe me $500 for my last travel reimbursement.

In case you find yourself in Arkansas (a "right to work" state), avoid the Department of Human Services, Division of Children and Family Services. The toxic bully boss who terminated me is the rule rather than the exception.

[Alkene]

57. I'm still looking for work...

after walking out in September on a sociopathic narcissist whom I put up with for the previous six years. She did not fit your model of micromanaging, however, but would only immerse herself in realities and situations that suited her pursuit of being the center of the universe- her version of the universe; the details of your job and working conditions were irrelevant as long as she could be the central focus and authority on a bizarre and often disconnected array of concerns which she deemed to be of importance, including subordinates' personal lives.

To mention just a few details of the continuous freak show:

Her desktop wallpaper was a picture of herself on holiday standing alone in front of the Eiffel Tower. No other friends or family members who accompanied her on the trip, just her. To be there to admire all day, every day.

At the funeral Mass of a coworker's husband she wore a bright red outfit and behaved in an obnoxious and self-preoccupied manner at the reception in order to maintain her need to always be the center of attention, to the distress of the widow and the diminishment of the occasion.

When a coworker called in to report that her mother had died unexpectedly just before a scheduled doctor's appointment, the boss laughed uproariously and joked openly for a good half hour about irony of that- while the rest of us, or at least some of us not in her clique of minions, transitioned from reverent reflection at the sad news to the horror of being in the presence of a sick monster.

I'll spare you the myriad details of the horror her callous and cruel treatment of me caused over six agonizing years, because that experience occurred simultaneously to my wife's illness and death and is too detailed and painful to post fully. Suffice to say I stayed on because of the need for health care benefits and the distress it caused my wife to consider any employment changes. I fulfilled my promises to my wife, and the boss no longer had that particular control over me. The power to say, no more, came and I used it.

As I calmly and unceremoniously handed her my key card on a Friday, remarking only, "I won't be coming in anymore," and simply walked out while ignoring her as best I could, she followed behind me babbling something about my not being able to do this.

By playing a wild card she didn't foresee, I had taken away her control; control was her self-defining characteristic and only consistent workplace goal. That, and vendetta.

I hope I made the right decision.

[JNelson6563]

62. You've been put through the wringer.

Hugs and encouragement. You did the right thing.

Julie

[Solly Mack]

65. I'm wishing you the best.

[Douglas Carpenter]

58. I've been lucky that way for the past 15years or so - But I have had about 3 or 4 bully bosses over

the years prior to that - All top down, micromanagers - kiss up - kick down types who relied on a small click of devoted minions.

[Orrex]

60. My current bosses are excellent. Previous one? Classic bully.

We suffered several years of brutal financial hardship after I lost my job in financial services following the Lehman crash et al, but we're much better off now, and my job and bosses are 1000X better.

[MrScorpio]

61. Yep. Worst year of my life. ny

[avebury]

63. Yes and they can make your life miserable.

I worked in the commercial loan office of a bank and one day one I discovered that one of my co-workers made a big mistake on one of our accounts. Instead of wiring $10,000 to a Canadian bank she wired $100,000. Oops!!!!! Of course the customer's account went into overdraft which resulted in the customer calling me (I had a really good working relationship with the customer). Well the Supervisor thought that she and the co-worker could fix the problem and pretend like it never happened. There were never going to tell the account officer what happened to his account.

I sat there unable to believe what they were going to try to pull off. There was no chance in heck that the coverup would work. Man, I thought that most people learned the lesson from Watergate - the coverup is always worse then the original crime. I knew the customer well enough to know that someone would call the account officer about the incident and the account officer would have looked like an idiot for not knowing what was going on with his customer. He would then blow up (justifiably) and it would not be pretty. Plus is was just wrong wrong wrong. You don't treat co-workers like that.

Well you guessed it, I told him what happened and I got in hot water for it with my manager. I just could not sit my and let them set the guy up to look bad. It wasn't right to do that to him or to the bank. But I paid the price for it. I will say that the officer (who was working his way up the ladder) always had my back after that. When we had a change in senior leadership, my manager tried to get rid of me and Bob fought for me. Our new senior lender made the comment that it was very unusual for Bob to talk that favorably about anyone and I kept my job. Bob was a tough, no nonsense person who was good at his job.

[polly7]

64. Yes!

It was at the first Credit Union I worked at, and she was a terror to me (and one other woman)! Her husband worked with mine and he was always over visiting. She obviously disliked me for that, or some reason, and without saying a word nearly every morning would dump a huge pile of work on my desk and snottily make her way off. The rest of us were like one big family, she was a bully in every sense of the word and made sure to give me double the work anyone else seemed to have. I loved the job, but could never understand what I did to this person. We had a party when she moved and smashed the stuff she left behind. Fun times!

[Solly Mack]

66. Yes. Bully/sexual predator.

Horrible.