Borowitz Report - In Landmark Decision, Supreme Court Strikes Down Main Reason Country Was Started

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — In what legal experts are calling a landmark decision, on Monday the United States Supreme Court struck down what many believe to be the main reason the country was started.

By a five-to-four vote, the Court eliminated what grade-school children have traditionally been taught was one of the key rationales for founding the United States in the first place.

“The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years,” said Justice Samuel Alito, writing for the majority. “Getting rid of it was long overdue.”

Calling the decision “historic,” Justice Antonin Scalia was guarded in predicting what the Court might accomplish next.

“Last year, we gutted the Voting Rights Act, and today we did the First Amendment,” he said. “We’ll just have to see what’s left.”

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/05/in-landmark-decision-supreme-court-strikes-down-main-reason-country-was-started.html?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz%20(68)

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

1. But the Second Amendment will live forever (nt)

[MurrayDelph]

9. In the words of Roy Zimmerman

It's the second amendment, people. It's the most-important amendment; that's why it's second.

[Arugula Latte]

2. This isn't even satire ... Down the tubes we go, faster and faster ...

[Gothmog]

3. I love good satire

[herding cats]

4. Borowitz always makes me laugh.

I promise to laugh at this piece, just as soon as I stop crying.

[indepat]

5. Andy surely shot some rockets up the felonious ones' asses

[onehandle]

6. It's funny until Nader gives Florida to Bush and extends the right-wing court by 30 years. nt

[SunSeeker]

10. +1

[Cha]

15. With his stupid lies. that's right.. it wasn't just All those poor dead in Iraq.. it was a rw

court for 30 year more or less that nader gave America.

[Blue Owl]

7. They hate us for our what again?

[icymist]

8. Our right to think.

"Thou shall not have any (UNPURE DIRTY GODS) thoughts before me."

[bvar22]

11. I thought Borowitz only did satire.

This is straight up TRUTH.

[Voice for Peace]

12. KICK! I'm already laughing and haven't even clicked the link yet

Borowitz

[Electric Monk]

13. k&r

[Firebrand Gary]

14. So we have this founding document...

That does not resemble our country in the slightest. Tyranny, case in point! While Satire, it might be, it's not far off from the judiciaries trajectory!