Never cut my lip shaving, but once when I was 5 I had a tick on my

[snooper2]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by EarlG (a host of the General Discussion forum).

yeah, on that LOL


My sister had to pull it off for me in the backwoods on the other side of our creek (she was 8 at the time)


NOT FUN!

[conservaphobe]

1. I got chigger bites on my penis at the same age.

[snooper2]

2. did they get to the size of a peanut M&M?

[Adsos Letter]

3. OUCH!

...but I would trade your tick for my childhood case of weeping poison oak on my penis, testicles, and further on round the backside...
Middle of a nice, hot, sweaty summer too.

As General Buford said on the opening day of battle at Gettysburg: "Lovely, just lovely."

[Number23]

4. What are you people all doing with your penises out in the first place?!!

What the hell is going on around here??!!!??

[3catwoman3]

6. Oh, I think I will send this thread to my 92 year old mom.

She was a camp nurse for a summer when she was 25, and one time 3 little boys came to her in considerable discomfort because they had made use of the great outdoors and used what turned out to be poison ivy for TP.

[Luminous Animal]

7. I was stung by a jelly fish on my labia when I was 12

My mom sprinkled meat tenderizer on it and I was good to go.

[Warren DeMontague]

15. Your vacations must have been INSANE

[Luminous Animal]

17. No Rehobeth Beach vacation was complete without Adolph's meat tenderizer.

[Warren DeMontague]

18. There are so many things wrong with this here

you're killin' me.

[Luminous Animal]

19. And once we put potatoes in the toilet when it was backed up because, when my aunt spoiled the stew,

my grandpa said that potatoes would fix anything.

[Luminous Animal]

21. And that same toilet backed up vacation, we posted a sign that said, "please don't flush tampax down

the toilet."

And my 12 year old brother came out of the bathroom and asked why we were flushing watches down the toilet because he confused Timex with Tampax.

[Warren DeMontague]

22. Ewww. While you were at it, you coulda flushed K-Pax down the toilet. Kevin Spacey's "lame" period.

I remember a sign saying "Please do not put cigarette butts in the toilet. It makes them soggy, and hard to light."

[Luminous Animal]

27. Our dog peed on a women's beach bag. We pretended it wasn't our dog. Which was easy to do because

his name was Dog. And when she challenged us, she said, "You've been hanging out with this dog all day." And we said, "Well, yeah, but we don't know who's dog he is and that is why we call him dog."

[Warren DeMontague]

30. It's okay, it wasn't the woman's beach bag, anyway.

And it wasn't actually a real beach.

[lonestarnot]

42. Good thing you didn't have my son as he used to confuse them with Texaco's.

[Warren DeMontague]

8. Damn, where's Dr. Seuss when you need him?

[Luminous Animal]

9. My greatgrandpa spit tobacco on us for every cut, sting, or burn.

Didn't help but made us laugh

[Luminous Animal]

10. My mom would lick my eyeball when I had something stuck in it.

It worked. She would also blow in my nose for no good reason and pretend to spit in my ear.

[snooper2]

44. If I tried that on my daughter should would rub her face until the skin was raw

[Luminous Animal]

12. Someone spit on me in Atlantic City in 1972. My mom cleaned the spit off with her spit.

[Contrary1]

13. One time, at band camp...

Feel free to fill in the rest.

[kentauros]

24. At least you had a camp for band.

We had an old asphalt parking lot. In August

[Contrary1]

29. Hell, I wasn't in band...

My comment was referring to an ongoing line in American Pie.

The only camp I ever attended was back in the very early 60's. Catholic. All girl. No fun at all.

In fact, I wrote a letter to the folks to come get me early. But, I never sent it. They had to do without other things to get me there.

So, I lied and told them I had the time of my life.

[kentauros]

32. I knew you were referencing some movie I've never seen.

But I didn't have any sexual innuendo come to mind to fill in the blanks

That camp you did go to sounds pretty sucky. Camp for me was Boy Scout camps, and other than the heat and sometimes scorpions, wasn't all that bad. I probably wouldn't survive them today

[pinboy3niner]

35. Hello muddah, hello faddah...

[Luminous Animal]

14. William William, in 1973, stabbed me with a pencil. 40 years later, I still have that blue dot on my

knee.

[Warren DeMontague]

16. Wait. Your sister pulled off your what?

[kentauros]

26. It was detachable.

[Warren DeMontague]

34. Still a classic.

[kentauros]

36. Indeed.

One of my favorites. I can remember playing it on public radio back in the day...

[edbermac]

20. I once had the Chicken Scampi at Olive Garden.

Half an hour later I felt like John Hurt in Alien.

[Warren DeMontague]

23. Check, Please!

[kentauros]

25. Oh no! Not again!

[quinnox]

28. lol

[eShirl]

31. reminds me of a summer camp song

to the tune of "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain"

There's a skeeter on my peter
Whack it off
(repeat ad nauseum)

[pinboy3niner]

33. OMG! Thank God you survived!

I could have posted in that thread that I got shot in the face with an AK-47 in Vietnam. Opened me up from the corner of my lip down most of my neck. When my medic asked me to take my hand away the whole thing flapped open. When I finally got to the evac hospital the docs asked me to pull the dressing away. When all of the docs and nurses exclaimed, "Ugh!" I slapped it right back.

Funny thing is that the entry wound, halfway between my nose and my upper lip, required only two stitches. Yet the damage took 18 months in an Army hospital to repair, plus having to have the repairs re-done--twice--in a Navy hospital years later.

When I get a shaving cut, don't look for me to post here about it.

[betsuni]

37. I tried to respond to you on the other thread but it was locked.

When I read about your injury I couldn't stop crying. I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are nice and funny and good.

[pinboy3niner]

38. Thanks, betsuni

I love your wit!

Don't worry about me, though. Despite my predictions and expectations, I'm still here. Who wouldda thunk?

I think you are nice and funny and good, too.

[betsuni]

39. Thank you back!

I'm still going to cry a little more, though.

[pinboy3niner]

40. I'm one of the lucky ones

Though in our darker moments, just among ourselves, we say that those on the Wall were the lucky ones.

Those who were there, or who were combatants in other conflicts, will uderstand.

[pinboy3niner]

46. The cherry on top...

Last edited Tue Jul 8, 2014, 04:34 PM - Edit history (1)

After 20 years, my medic found me. He saw an interview I did with Good Morning America near the Wall on one of the veterans' holidays, and when he called them the producers gave him my phone number.

Doc said he still had the letter I wrote him from the hospital. I wanted to let the guys in the platoon know I was okay (which turned out to be a good thing, because they'd been told I died). So I wrote that letter, and somehow was smart enough to address it to my medic.

Doc said he struggled with PTSD ever since Vietnam. He said my letter literally saved his life...and I knew exactly what he meant.

The kicker, though, was that Doc still remembered, off the top of his head, how I closed that long-ago letter: "P.S.: Your bedside manner sucks."

[lonestarnot]

43. Yeah!

[Orrex]

41. I once got stung on the privates and had to go to the hospital

They cured the pain, but they were never able to relieve the swelling.

[In_The_Wind]

45. Oh my.