HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Court & Change

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 09:48 AM

Court & Change

“God, whose law it is that he who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.”
-- Aeschylus

This morning at 11, there is a second town court hearing, to establish if the District Attorney has enough evidence to hold the man who shot my cousin and his son on felony charges. Four generations (possibly five) of my family will be at the court today, in silent witness to these events. Some had been concerned about justice -- for this is the very same court where, in 1998, the racist hate gang that attempted to kill my nephew got off with less than a slap on the wrist.

A lot can change in 16 years. For example, there is a new DA, who represents a younger generation’s awareness of the relationship between ethnic/racial identity and justice. I’ve known this man for many years, both through work and family friendships. I spoke to him on the telephone yesterday, and arranged for him to meet with our family a half-hour before the court hearing. I believe that my family will be as impressed with him as I am. Relieving concerns about potential systematic injustice is an important step in allowing my family to grieve.

As I was writing this, my younger son called. He reminded me that I, too, have changed. I need not play the role that I did in my nephew’s case. There is already enough anger and outrage, he said, and what the community -- and especially our family -- needs right now is for a calm, reasoned focus on justice. Not revenge, although numerous people wish that were possible. But the type of justice that allows healing. Drop by drop.

I’ll be picking up my youngest daughter from high school for the meeting and court hearing. She and I now live alone in our big house, where there was once the six of us, and usually at least one foreign exchange student or other friend of my children. She’s assisted me in planning out my strategy for contact with the police, the DA, and the media. She’s also been with me when we have visited my cousin’s daughter, and his parents.

My aunt and uncle are in their mid-80s, and have endured so many tragedies in their lives. It is difficult to see these good people in such awful pain. At one point, my uncle lightened the situation by asking my daughter, “Have I ever told you how I met your great aunt?” He went into a hilarious story about the mutual attraction that remains strong more than sixty years later.

Those family members that are my age or older talk about how violence has caused tragedies in our extended family over the generations. Old wounds resurface. Some types of pain never really go away. I feel honored, in what may sound strange, to be able to model the best ways to deal with these situations. I have a lot of hope -- and pride -- in the younger generation of this family. It hurts to have had one that I was so close to taken away at such a young age.

Peace,
H2O Man

16 replies, 1495 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread

Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 10:01 AM

1. My heart goes out to you and yours, H2O Man. Please

let us know if there's anything we can do and know I will be thinking of you. Thanks for keeping us posted.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 10:03 AM

2. I will be there with you and your family Waterman

(in spirit)

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 10:03 AM

3. And peace to you, H2O Man. (nt)

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 10:25 AM

4. Pass to your family our good wishes.

Peace to you on this day as well. Be strong H2O man

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 10:27 AM

5. I often think of that ancient saying, "Eat bitterness."

It seems the older we get, the more bitterness we must eat, if we refuse to visit in on others. But the only way to stop the cycle of bitterness is to not perpetuate it oneself.

-- Mal

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 10:34 AM

6. Thanks for the news...

... haven't been logged in too much in that last couple days and thought about you during that time. I send hugs to you and your family.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 10:41 AM

7. Thanks for the update. May you and your family continue to find strength in each other.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 11:03 AM

8. Sounded like an interesting young man. Tragic. Read some of the story...

 

Shooter an ex-cop, retired with a pension at 44, was a guard now in the same jail he worked in.

You are a good resource for that family, they are lucky to have you.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 11:13 AM

9. You have been on my mind.

May justice prevail. Peace to you too sir.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 11:23 AM

10. Please keep up your "journal" of this on DU if you can. Prayers are with you and you have .....

insight to share. I admire your strength to be able to process this terrible event so we can understand it past emotions.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 12:05 PM

11. Sounds like your head and your heart are in the right place.

I hope that Justice will be served!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 12:29 PM

12. Peace, H20 Man

You`re in my thoughts.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 12:44 PM

13. (((....)))

I hope for the best outcome for you and your family

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 12:55 PM

14. If anyone can make his family feel better

in this time of tragedy it's you.

The right actions will come to you at the right time.

Praying for you and your family.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Sun Nov 2, 2014, 10:04 AM

15. K&R. just saw this update, thanks.

Thinking of you and yours.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Sun Nov 2, 2014, 11:06 PM

16. Just wishing you and your family justice in this time of sorrow.

I will check your journal anticipating expected results from the hearing

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread