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Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 08:29 AM Nov 2014

I never thought I would be the one to need help

Last edited Thu Nov 20, 2014, 12:57 PM - Edit history (2)

OneGrassRoot suggested I post here and I am going to suck up my last bit of pride actually hit "post" after typing this.

This year has been hell for me financially and I have no where left to turn. My hours were cut at work, my car needs to fixed, I am behind on my bills after paying off the huge heating bill from last winter. My utilities are behind, my rent is going to be behind soon. I just keep juggling my paychecks to try and keep everything on.

My son turns 21 on Saturday and we are told it might be a year or two before (or if) we can finally get his SSDI approved. So I am supporting us both while he takes some classes at the community college in hopes that at some point he will be able to get and keep a job. I can't even afford a birthday present for him.

DU is like an online family and I am hoping someone out there can help me to get out of this hole I am in while I try to find another job or at least some Elance work to make up for the loss in wages. I worked out a budget that I can get by on if I could just get out of this hole. I want to start my own business eventually( I sew) but materials cost money.

I made a fundraiser on Gofundme.com.

http://www.gofundme.com/ecevto

I am embarrassed and horrified by all this, but the stress and worry really has me at my wits end. I am hoping I didn't ramble to much. My phone broke last night and I was up all night in fear of over sleeping and not being up for work. Hopefully I can get it fixed today since it is the phone I use for work.

So I am going to put this all out there and hope for the best.

Sincerely,

Marrah

190 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I never thought I would be the one to need help (Original Post) Marrah_G Nov 2014 OP
First of all Sherman A1 Nov 2014 #1
K&R redstatebluegirl Nov 2014 #2
Guys, keep this kicked Le Taz Hot Nov 2014 #3
I fixed the link Marrah_G Nov 2014 #6
Done. KICKING!!! calimary Nov 2014 #107
K&R for exposure. I'm in the same boat. ColesCountyDem Nov 2014 #4
Hang in there shenmue Nov 2014 #5
Thanks for the link Omaha Steve Nov 2014 #7
Made goal and for many Friday is payday Omaha Steve Nov 2014 #99
Kicking. kag Nov 2014 #8
The DU community is strong, Marrah. brer cat Nov 2014 #9
I'll help keep this kicked... OneGrassRoot Nov 2014 #10
So glad to see you OGR! I've missed you riderinthestorm Nov 2014 #25
... OneGrassRoot Nov 2014 #74
You are so amazing, you have a beautiful heart~ sheshe2 Nov 2014 #139
Thank you my friend Marrah_G Nov 2014 #29
Kick and R. BeanMusical Nov 2014 #11
If every DU member gave just 5.00......just imagine how that would help! dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #12
Dixiegirl- thank you so much Marrah_G Nov 2014 #16
i kicked you a $20.. it's the most i can do.. i hope life settles down for you soon! dionysus Nov 2014 #95
I hear this story all over... People have insufficient income to cover even the necessities. Hugin Nov 2014 #13
Thank you for that Marrah_G Nov 2014 #14
Good luck to you Marrah. . k&r n/t annabanana Nov 2014 #15
Do you have paypal? they don't take a cut afaik RedCappedBandit Nov 2014 #17
yes Marrah_G Nov 2014 #26
I tried to go through PayPal.. RedCappedBandit Nov 2014 #33
I have sent donation via paypal. JNelson6563 Nov 2014 #36
Hoping things improve for you soon. mnhtnbb Nov 2014 #18
Keeping it kicked for exposure. n/t ColesCountyDem Nov 2014 #19
I put in a little bit to help build momentum. Please keep posting and let us know what's happening. NBachers Nov 2014 #20
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #27
k&r LeftishBrit Nov 2014 #21
Another thought.... dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #22
Yes- I am hoping to set up a shop there when I can Marrah_G Nov 2014 #28
Check out how much renaissance costumes go for on ebay J_J_ Nov 2014 #165
That's my plan Marrah_G Nov 2014 #169
That sounds just beautiful. Mojorabbit Nov 2014 #176
message me with a link to some pictures Marrah_G Nov 2014 #178
Hang in there Marrah!! (Hug) nt riderinthestorm Nov 2014 #23
K&R for visibility. I need to get some sleep since I was up all night tblue37 Nov 2014 #24
Kicking for visibility... Unknown Beatle Nov 2014 #30
I just made a small donation. redwitch Nov 2014 #31
BTW, I also used to sew, as an extra side job. tblue37 Nov 2014 #32
I sew - but not for others. These are Mira Nov 2014 #37
Thank you!!!!!!!!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #44
Check with local theatres, too. Sweet Freedom Nov 2014 #122
I helped a friend start a sewing business. We designed cards and flyers. NBachers Nov 2014 #129
Someone even offered to design a logo and cards for me Marrah_G Nov 2014 #136
A woman near my campus has a little storefront shop LuckyLib Nov 2014 #141
Print up pages with your info and post them at the student unions and ask the sororities and tblue37 Nov 2014 #149
kick for bookmark LawDeeDah Nov 2014 #34
Just made a small one. obnoxiousdrunk Nov 2014 #35
I really am so grateful! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #42
I sent you what I can and Mira Nov 2014 #38
Thank you so much! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #41
If your service provider is Verizon, WhiteTara Nov 2014 #39
It isn't- but thank you so much for the offer! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #40
K & R. I know it's easy to say. But there's no need for embarrassment. If those of us who might be Guy Whitey Corngood Nov 2014 #43
Happy to help! Avalux Nov 2014 #45
Thank you so much! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #46
Sent you a little Mojorabbit Nov 2014 #47
Thank you so much Marrah_G Nov 2014 #53
I wish I had the finances to help. I don't. Voice for Peace Nov 2014 #48
Kicking to the top. redwitch Nov 2014 #49
K&R! Odin2005 Nov 2014 #50
K&R Borchkins Nov 2014 #51
Marrah, wish I could help, but I'm out of work as of December 23rd suffragette Nov 2014 #52
~hugs~ Marrah_G Nov 2014 #54
1/3 of the way there and only 1130 am my time Marrah_G Nov 2014 #55
... OneGrassRoot Nov 2014 #73
Don't feel bad, tough times hit the best of us. Do whatever works to survive... DesertDiamond Nov 2014 #56
Kicked and recommended. Granny M Nov 2014 #57
$518 raised so far. Needs less than $1000 to reach her goal.... riderinthestorm Nov 2014 #58
keeping this kicked. niyad Nov 2014 #59
Good vibes are very very welcome :) Marrah_G Nov 2014 #60
We fell on pretty hard times about 2 years ago... Blanks Nov 2014 #61
Kick n/t catchnrelease Nov 2014 #62
K&R Tsiyu Nov 2014 #63
Please don't be embarrassed, it's good that you posted this..so sorry it's been that difficult Jefferson23 Nov 2014 #64
Just sent funds- appalachiablue Nov 2014 #65
Thank you so much!!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #67
Will do, last in NE a couple yrs. ago in VT. Super your son's in Balto. Keep me in DC in mind appalachiablue Nov 2014 #71
A few bucks from me njlib Nov 2014 #66
Thank you so much for the help! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #68
No problem at all njlib Nov 2014 #70
Kick Agschmid Nov 2014 #69
You are all amazing and I am so touched <3 Marrah_G Nov 2014 #72
That's awesome! Check your paypal too! JNelson6563 Nov 2014 #76
Marrah, regarding the SSDI approval DebJ Nov 2014 #75
did what I could. Hang in there. bbgrunt Nov 2014 #77
30 people have gotten you halfway to your goal since this morning! dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #78
I have no doubt that will happen... OneGrassRoot Nov 2014 #80
Have you applied for LIHEAP? MADem Nov 2014 #79
Thank you Madem Marrah_G Nov 2014 #104
I know someone who got fired (unjustly, too) from his work; he lost his insurance MADem Nov 2014 #110
Definitely looking into Liheap Marrah_G Nov 2014 #125
Hang in there Marrah_G! Lady Freedom Returns Nov 2014 #81
kick Betsy Ross Nov 2014 #82
kicking angel823 Nov 2014 #83
Just sent you some money on Gofundme. s-cubed Nov 2014 #84
I'll do what I can... mimi85 Nov 2014 #90
Thank you so much Marrah_G Nov 2014 #187
OMG...you are almost at your goal!!!!! dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #85
Kick. Rec. IdaBriggs Nov 2014 #86
Sent via Paypal dgibby Nov 2014 #87
Sending you well wishes Horse with no Name Nov 2014 #88
Keep it going all! redwitch Nov 2014 #89
Happy to help you out Marrah. misterhighwasted Nov 2014 #91
Almost there! How about a little extra for a birthday present for her son? riderinthestorm Nov 2014 #92
Excellent suggestion! redwitch Nov 2014 #94
OMG! You are almost at your goal!!!! dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #93
Made your goal!!! cally Nov 2014 #96
Hooray! mnhtnbb Nov 2014 #97
What a beautiful and inspiring thing to witness. KMOD Nov 2014 #98
He will now :) Marrah_G Nov 2014 #163
I dont know you but padfun Nov 2014 #100
Thank you so much Phillip Marrah_G Nov 2014 #120
i see you reached your goal noiretextatique Nov 2014 #101
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #102
I am in tears, happy tears!!!!!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #103
So can we keep kicking this anyway? Maybe it'll go even farther? calimary Nov 2014 #108
Oh my gosh- thank you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #117
Sock the extra away as emergency funds. tblue37 Nov 2014 #150
I'm going to! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #161
I am so glad. OneGrassRoot Nov 2014 #109
This message was self-deleted by its author Puglover Nov 2014 #105
So sorry to hear this... awoke_in_2003 Nov 2014 #106
Seems like trouble always zeroes in on the holidays. jamesatemple Nov 2014 #111
Thank you so much! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #118
I just donated & sure hope it helps. Sorry for your problems & hope things get better. Booster Nov 2014 #112
Thank you- You are all so terrific! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #119
couldn't give much barbtries Nov 2014 #113
Thank you!!!! and realizing I am not alone is huge for me... Marrah_G Nov 2014 #123
Happy to contribute via paypal Oilwellian Nov 2014 #114
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #121
big kick and rec ! nt steve2470 Nov 2014 #115
Kick for visibility. n/t ColesCountyDem Nov 2014 #116
The generosity of DUers restores my faith in humanity every time Marrah_G Nov 2014 #124
I am so happy you are being helped by our DU community dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #126
Thank you so much Dixie Marrah_G Nov 2014 #128
K and R for visibility greatlaurel Nov 2014 #127
Everyone needs a helping hand every once in a while. aikoaiko Nov 2014 #130
Thank you! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #160
I finally woke up and went to your page to make a donation. tblue37 Nov 2014 #131
I am so new to this not sure how the details work Marrah_G Nov 2014 #135
I just put a little more in, and watched the odometer go higher NBachers Nov 2014 #132
Thank you! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #137
Just chipped in... Canoe52 Nov 2014 #133
Thank you!!! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #138
Glad to help Sienna86 Nov 2014 #134
Thank you! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #155
Keeping this kicked... sheshe2 Nov 2014 #140
I wish I could help with money, which is what you need right now, Cleita Nov 2014 #142
Kick F4lconF16 Nov 2014 #143
Kick Hekate Nov 2014 #144
Sent a small donation Lydia Leftcoast Nov 2014 #145
Thank you so much Lydia Marrah_G Nov 2014 #156
I'm so sorry this is happening, Marrah! Sometimes we just have to get out of our comfort Cha Nov 2014 #146
just a little kickety for Marrah countryjake Nov 2014 #147
Just donated. I hope it helps and wishing you the best. mfcorey1 Nov 2014 #148
Thank you so much Corey Marrah_G Nov 2014 #162
K&R -- just gave $25.00. DesertFlower Nov 2014 #151
Thank you Desert! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #157
k & r! m-lekktor Nov 2014 #152
Marta & I are in too Omaha Steve Nov 2014 #153
Thank you so much! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #158
K&R woo me with science Nov 2014 #154
I slept well for the firt time in a very long time! Marrah_G Nov 2014 #159
Good night's sleep can work wonders, indeed. dixiegrrrrl Nov 2014 #164
You shouldn't be afraid of asking for help, if you need it - you're among friends here. closeupready Nov 2014 #166
They do care and it's wonderful Marrah_G Nov 2014 #173
About sending thru Paypal or thru GoFundMe veness Nov 2014 #167
Thank you Veness Marrah_G Nov 2014 #168
K & R !!! WillyT Nov 2014 #170
Keep this up! Happy to give a bit more, what this Season's about, Sharing & Helping. appalachiablue Nov 2014 #171
Thank you Blue :) Marrah_G Nov 2014 #172
Very glad to assist. This makes us well too, it's all positive. You take care, get some of appalachiablue Nov 2014 #183
The pooch is my Kona Marrah_G Nov 2014 #184
Kick Omaha Steve Nov 2014 #174
Another DUers is also in crisis. .. please consider the other fundraising effort too riderinthestorm Nov 2014 #175
Yes- please, you have all done enough for me Marrah_G Nov 2014 #177
I donated to you too. Just hoping to play off your popularity... riderinthestorm Nov 2014 #180
Thank you Marrah_G Nov 2014 #181
I wish I could help monetarily but.... moriah Nov 2014 #179
I would very much like that Moriah Marrah_G Nov 2014 #182
Do you an attorney for your son's disability claim? That might speed Karmadillo Nov 2014 #185
Yes we have a experienced firm handling it Marrah_G Nov 2014 #186
I just wanted to give an update Marrah_G Nov 2014 #188
Keep us in the loup Omaha Steve Nov 2014 #189
Thank you Steve- Marrah_G Nov 2014 #190

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
1. First of all
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 08:33 AM
Nov 2014

a K&R for continued exposure. I do really hope that things work out for you, I will go to the site mentioned and look it over.

redstatebluegirl

(12,265 posts)
2. K&R
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 08:40 AM
Nov 2014

I hope things get better for you. A lot of us are one paycheck away from being in big trouble. The people in power want all of us gasping for air so we do their work with no complaints for fear of losing our jobs. Praying for you, I'll go to the site today.

OneGrassRoot

(22,920 posts)
10. I'll help keep this kicked...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:52 AM
Nov 2014


You did a brave thing...the right thing, imho...by sharing here and inviting your DU friends to help if they can.




OneGrassRoot

(22,920 posts)
74. ...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 02:16 PM
Nov 2014

I miss you and a few others a LOT.

Hope life has been treating you kindly.



(Here's what I've been working on, btw: http://ourgood.org http://ourgood.org/about (an introductory video is here)

dixiegrrrrl

(60,010 posts)
12. If every DU member gave just 5.00......just imagine how that would help!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:56 AM
Nov 2014

I am so sorry that the site takes 7.9% + 30 cents of any donations to you, Marrah.
I upped my donation to take that into account.
Best of luck, do please update us.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
16. Dixiegirl- thank you so much
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:03 AM
Nov 2014

Every bit helps and hopefully I can send some money off to the electric/gas company today.

Hugin

(33,148 posts)
13. I hear this story all over... People have insufficient income to cover even the necessities.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:57 AM
Nov 2014

Even hard working people.

And they say there was no Depression... Only a Recession.

Sadly, all I have to offer you is a kick and recommend.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
26. yes
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:42 AM
Nov 2014

My email is tailormyst@gmail.com. Is that what you need to find the paypal account? I've only ever used it to pay for things from stores.

RedCappedBandit

(5,514 posts)
33. I tried to go through PayPal..
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:59 AM
Nov 2014

it seems like a donation with my debit card will have comparable fees, so I'll go through the crowdfunder to make it easier. It's not much because I'm a student but I hope it helps.

(but yes for future reference your email is all you would need )

JNelson6563

(28,151 posts)
36. I have sent donation via paypal.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 11:13 AM
Nov 2014

I am just an impoverished baker but did what I could. I know there are a lot of generous folks here, may you get some relief soon!

Hugs and encouragement!

Julie

NBachers

(17,110 posts)
20. I put in a little bit to help build momentum. Please keep posting and let us know what's happening.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:33 AM
Nov 2014

Despite the problems I've been able to create in my life, I've somehow made it this far. I've been lucky to get here. You, too, will continue.

dixiegrrrrl

(60,010 posts)
22. Another thought....
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:37 AM
Nov 2014

When you do get your sewing biz ready, check out Etsy.com as a potential place to sell.
Very popular site.

 

J_J_

(1,213 posts)
165. Check out how much renaissance costumes go for on ebay
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 04:02 PM
Nov 2014

I have been trying to find a heavy cloak for a present and can't find a decent one for less than $200

And there are no good tunics!

There are a lot of young people into cosplay costumes for comic cons and the like, Game of Thrones costumes are wildly popular and expensive...I wish I could sew, there some serious money to be made there.

Maybe you could start a thread here and take some orders...

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
169. That's my plan
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 04:58 PM
Nov 2014

Especially Men's Ren faire and SCA garb- everyone makes gowns, but not many make mens wear.

I just completed a linen poet type shirt completely hand sewn for a ren faire friend. It's so pretty and made from hemp linen.

Mojorabbit

(16,020 posts)
176. That sounds just beautiful.
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 09:06 PM
Nov 2014

When you get up and running let us know. I will be one of your first customers!

tblue37

(65,371 posts)
24. K&R for visibility. I need to get some sleep since I was up all night
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:40 AM
Nov 2014

grading essays, but I will pop over there when I wake up and send a bit.

tblue37

(65,371 posts)
32. BTW, I also used to sew, as an extra side job.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:52 AM
Nov 2014

Last edited Thu Nov 20, 2014, 11:24 AM - Edit history (1)

Do alterations, too. You can make money that way without paying for a lot of materials. Hemming, especially, is quick and easy, yet those who can't do it are willing to pay well to have it done properly. Since some seamstresses do a sloppy job, I often ended up having to repair bad work others had done, and when that happened, the customer became a loyal client, since he/she had learned that not all seamstresses are created equal, and that paying to have it done right the first time is cheaper than paying less and having to then pay again to have the lousy job fixed.

BTW, when I made a dress or other garment for someone, the customer purchased all the materials, except for things like thread. My sewing business was quite cheap to start.

I live in a college town. Young women often don't sew at all, so they paid well to have a simple skirt or a pair of pants hemmed or altered, and they told all their friends about me, so I often ended up doing jobs for everyone in a sorority or a dorm.

One fraternity on campus had an annual "Fiji" party (I don't know if that is still a thing). All the young men and women who attended wore sarongs to the party--and I ended up making them for everyone. Since there is a new pledge class each year, that meant that each year I had a bunch of new people to sew a sarong for. Obviously, those were very simple to make.

I also used to make a bunch of Halloween costumes every year--for little kids, but also for college students.

Some young men will also pay for alterations. Many young men from Middle Eastern countries liked to have their shirts altered for a better fit, so they were repeat customers, too, because I did a better job than other seamstresses in town.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
44. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 11:48 AM
Nov 2014

What fantastic ideas- and I live in Providence RI where there are a bunch of big colleges.

Sweet Freedom

(3,995 posts)
122. Check with local theatres, too.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 08:48 PM
Nov 2014

They often need costumers and some of the bigger ones can afford to pay. (Smaller ones are often volunteer only, but it may not hurt to check them out.)

NBachers

(17,110 posts)
129. I helped a friend start a sewing business. We designed cards and flyers.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:17 PM
Nov 2014

We went to the "better" parts of town, and literally walked up to peoples' houses and left the flyers in their doors. If someone was outside their house, she offered her services, and asked if they'd like a card or flyer.

It didn't take long for calls to start coming in. Business became repeat business. It was just shoe leather and time. If people are offering to help design logos, cards, or flyers here, take 'em up on it.

I know it takes some gumption to go walking around dropping off the flyers, but it's like everything else- you get used to doing it, and it gets easier.

LuckyLib

(6,819 posts)
141. A woman near my campus has a little storefront shop
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:39 PM
Nov 2014

for alterations and other sewing work. She does a very good business with students always changing and the faculty and staff passing her name along to everyone. She's a gem!

tblue37

(65,371 posts)
149. Print up pages with your info and post them at the student unions and ask the sororities and
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 05:58 AM
Nov 2014

dorms to post them on their bulletin boards.

 

LawDeeDah

(1,596 posts)
34. kick for bookmark
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 11:00 AM
Nov 2014

very sorry to hear of your bad luck, Marrah. I will see what I can do with a wee bit later today.

Best of luck, hope you meet your number in record time.

Guy Whitey Corngood

(26,501 posts)
43. K & R. I know it's easy to say. But there's no need for embarrassment. If those of us who might be
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 11:46 AM
Nov 2014

a little better off than our neighbors can't help them. What good are we?

Avalux

(35,015 posts)
45. Happy to help!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 11:51 AM
Nov 2014

Don't be embarrassed and horrified; sometimes life just happens in ways that aren't fun. Don't be so hard on yourself and try to stay positive. It will get better!

 

Voice for Peace

(13,141 posts)
48. I wish I had the finances to help. I don't.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 12:21 PM
Nov 2014

I don't even have a spare dollar.

Don't be embarrassed or horrified, you are brave to ask for
help and there is nobody here qualified to judge you.

suffragette

(12,232 posts)
52. Marrah, wish I could help, but I'm out of work as of December 23rd
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 12:34 PM
Nov 2014

Fifteen years and my job is being eliminated.

Hang in there and kicking the thread for you.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
55. 1/3 of the way there and only 1130 am my time
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 12:38 PM
Nov 2014

I love you guys.... as always DUrs are amazing. It's like a big family- we might fight sometimes, but boy are you guys there when someone needs help. I am so grateful to all of you.

DesertDiamond

(1,616 posts)
56. Don't feel bad, tough times hit the best of us. Do whatever works to survive...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 12:40 PM
Nov 2014

and know this will not last forever. I know it's hard sometimes at a time like this to be confident that you are of infinite value to the universe and that you will turn all of this around, but you ARE and you WILL!

Granny M

(1,395 posts)
57. Kicked and recommended.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 12:49 PM
Nov 2014

I made a small donation.

Wishing you and your son a brighter future.

Keep us posted.

niyad

(113,315 posts)
59. keeping this kicked.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 12:55 PM
Nov 2014

wishing you all the best, marrah g. cannot do anything right now but send good vibes and prosperous thoughts. once again, DU'ers show that they are the BEST.

Blanks

(4,835 posts)
61. We fell on pretty hard times about 2 years ago...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 01:03 PM
Nov 2014

I considered asking for help. We have a severely autistic adult daughter and it made it incredibly difficult for us to get on our feet. We wouldn't have been able to do it all except that we have each other. I don't know how anyone alone can deal with the adversity that the world presents in this day and age.

You needn't feel ashamed, embarrassed or horrified to ask for help. I wish that some of the money that went toward this outrageously expensive mid-term election went toward folks who need it rather than supplementing the MIC owned media.

I wish you good luck.

Jefferson23

(30,099 posts)
64. Please don't be embarrassed, it's good that you posted this..so sorry it's been that difficult
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 01:24 PM
Nov 2014

for you. Hope all turns around for you and yours right away.


K&R

appalachiablue

(41,136 posts)
65. Just sent funds-
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 01:38 PM
Nov 2014

All the best. No shame. Know you will get the amount, prevail this winter and onwards!
Hope you can get relief and rest soon.

Sewing sounds great. Always wanted to see P. town, lil bro. in NYC liked it. Saw some of the coast around Newport once. In DC area and on my own.

appalachiablue

(41,136 posts)
71. Will do, last in NE a couple yrs. ago in VT. Super your son's in Balto. Keep me in DC in mind
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 02:09 PM
Nov 2014
Stay well!

njlib

(891 posts)
66. A few bucks from me
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 01:44 PM
Nov 2014

to bring you up to $700. Hopefully, you'll hit your goal (and then some) in no time!

Best of luck to you!!

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
72. You are all amazing and I am so touched <3
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 02:11 PM
Nov 2014

Sitting here in tears with a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I cannot tell you all how much this means to my son and I.

Also- I had a friend here in RI who holds Magic the Gathering parties once a month for her son and his friends. It's my son's favorite game and the next one is on his birthday and she is turning it into a birthday party for him!

DebJ

(7,699 posts)
75. Marrah, regarding the SSDI approval
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 02:27 PM
Nov 2014

I was facing the same thing with my son many years ago.

I was blessed to be living in a city that had an agency that was able to get him into it right away.
This required that I 'kick him out of the house' so that he could then have access to all of that
agencies remarkable abilities. I also had to cancel the health insurance coverage I had for him for several
months and pay the $1000 a month MINIMUM costs out of pocket (but it was costing me $800 for insurance anyway).
I didn't really have to 'kick him out'; he wasn't homeless for even one day, but I did state that I was
moving in three months and he would not be able to come with me. And I was moving.

I think everything progressed from the foundation they needed that he was (about to be) homeless
and had a disability. The result though was that these wonderful experienced people got him on SSDI so
fast your head would spin. Otherwise, we no doubt would have spent the next several years fighting as
most parents have to do.

He has bipolar disorder, OCD, ADD, etc.

I don't know if there are any agencies there that can assist you.

The program my son was enlisted into is a joint thing managed by a local hospital that specializes in
mental health, with contributions from federal, state, and local sources plus many others.

You might try, if you haven't already, some local crisis hotline, ask them if they have referrals
to other agencies. But some of those crisis lines seem only to offer reflective psychotherapy,
as in, "Oh, so it upsets you that you have no food on your table for tomorrow", which used to
infuriate me, until I realized they weren't any good for anything.

God bless you and wish I could help. So many of us are struggling these days.

dixiegrrrrl

(60,010 posts)
78. 30 people have gotten you halfway to your goal since this morning!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 02:37 PM
Nov 2014

I knew DU would come thru.

Betcha we can complete your fund request by tonight...wouldn't that be great????

OneGrassRoot

(22,920 posts)
80. I have no doubt that will happen...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 02:48 PM
Nov 2014

So glad Marrah posted this. If stress and suffering can be relieved by people helping, we need to ask.



MADem

(135,425 posts)
79. Have you applied for LIHEAP?
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 02:40 PM
Nov 2014
http://www.energy.ri.gov/lowincome/cap.php

Find out if you qualify, if your hours are cut you are probably eligible. Here are the income guidelines--they also have a 'weatherization' program that can cut that heating bill too: http://www.energy.ri.gov/documents/liheap/LIHEAP%20OM%2028-09.25.13.pdf

Also, have you applied for SNAP? That might take some pressure off you.

Most states have a low income phone system that works through tracfone or NET10 or one of those "pay by the card" cellphones (burner phones to the drug dealers--but hey, they work). If you're not a big phone talker, that might be the best bet for you and save on another bill. http://www.ripuc.org/utilityinfo/telecom/Lifeline.html

Another good resource is your local St. Vincent de Paul Society. They will sometimes make a grant for a purpose (to buy medications, to repair a car, for example) to people. There's no religious litmus test for that charity, either.

I hope you can find your way out of this, and your son's SSDI is approved.


Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
104. Thank you Madem
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 06:18 PM
Nov 2014

For all the links!

My mom volunteers at St Vincent depaul and she's been keeping her eyes open for me at the store. I didn't know about the other services. She is getting on in years and I couldn't worry her about my situation too much so she doesn't know how bad it was.

MADem

(135,425 posts)
110. I know someone who got fired (unjustly, too) from his work; he lost his insurance
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 07:46 PM
Nov 2014

and was having a helluva time getting services. The V de P gave him the cash to get his medications which had he not gotten them would have been very problematic. They didn't ask for anything in return, either.

I was very impressed.

Look, you could call one of the directors at the V de P and explain that you don't want to worry your mom--they might be able to work your appointment around her volunteer days. They might be able to give you funds to fix your car, and that seems to me like a first line priority.

Absent that, you should ask the state (the same people that coordinate the LIHEAP and LIFELINE phone assistance) if they have any transportation help for you. If you live where you can take a bus to work, you might be able to get a break on a bus pass. The other thing to consider is carpooling--if you can find someone to carpool with, you put a few dollars in their tank and you're good to go. Might not be a bad idea even if you get the car running. It's amazing how much one can save using public transport in some circumstances.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
125. Definitely looking into Liheap
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 08:57 PM
Nov 2014

The car can get fixed now and since I work from home I dont use much gas- just dr appts, food shopping really. Sometimes a trip to the cape to visit my folks. My son can buy student bus passes at the community college since he can't drive yet (he has visual spacial awareness issues and processing slowness) at a discount.

s-cubed

(1,385 posts)
84. Just sent you some money on Gofundme.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 03:36 PM
Nov 2014

It takes courage to expose yourself and ask for help. We are a family.

mimi85

(1,805 posts)
90. I'll do what I can...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 04:20 PM
Nov 2014

we've been there. When our daughter was a baby, we literally lived on a 10 pound bag of potatoes so I could buy baby food. Fried, mashed, baked, etc. Ugh, I couldn't eat potatoes for almost a year after that. t was too proud to ask my folks for money and they weren't well off anyway. We've been together for almost 47 years now (on New Year's Eve) and took the for richer and poorer seriously. Take good care!

dixiegrrrrl

(60,010 posts)
85. OMG...you are almost at your goal!!!!!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 03:58 PM
Nov 2014

DU truly seems to be doing it!!!

This is really wonderful to see, such great community spirit here.



dgibby

(9,474 posts)
87. Sent via Paypal
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 04:04 PM
Nov 2014

You are not alone, and I'm sure you'll be able to get on your feet again soon. I've been where your are, but had family that was able and kind enough to help, so am paying it forward. We're all in this together!

Horse with no Name

(33,956 posts)
88. Sending you well wishes
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 04:07 PM
Nov 2014

I have had some tough times lately so I can't help but will send you positive energy that things will get better soon!

 

KMOD

(7,906 posts)
98. What a beautiful and inspiring thing to witness.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 05:15 PM
Nov 2014

Kudos, to all the kind, generous and wonderful people who gave Marrah a lift.

I think most of us go through a time where we're a little down and out, it's nothing to be embarrassed by.

I hope your son has a wonderful birthday!

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
163. He will now :)
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 01:52 PM
Nov 2014

He is my sweet shining star. He has two other siblings, both older and doing well. He's had to grow up under the shadow of his brother who is everything he is not.....but what he is, is the sweetest, gentlest, most caring young man I know. If he catches me crying he brings me a cup of tea and says "it will be okay mom"

padfun

(1,786 posts)
100. I dont know you but
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 05:34 PM
Nov 2014

I do understand what you are going through. I can only afford $20 right now but will contribute more later.
Good luck and don't feel bad about having to do this. We all find ourselves in bad situations occasionally.

Phillip D

noiretextatique

(27,275 posts)
101. i see you reached your goal
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 05:58 PM
Nov 2014

but i will give you something tomorrow when i get paid. so many people are struggling, so don't feel ashamed

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
102. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 06:04 PM
Nov 2014

I reached my goal- I cannot begin to thank you all enough! You are my DU family and I love you guys- I will pay this forward as soon as I can.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
103. I am in tears, happy tears!!!!!!!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 06:05 PM
Nov 2014

I went to go do some chores for a few hours and I came back and OMG!

You are all amazing and I am so grateful.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
117. Oh my gosh- thank you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 08:43 PM
Nov 2014

I am just so stunned....I feel like I can breathe again.

tblue37

(65,371 posts)
150. Sock the extra away as emergency funds.
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 06:02 AM
Nov 2014

It isn't a lot of extra cash, and you will probably need it sooner than you think.

Response to Marrah_G (Original post)

 

awoke_in_2003

(34,582 posts)
106. So sorry to hear this...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 06:36 PM
Nov 2014

I know exactly where you are at. I co-signed for a car for one stepdaughter. She managed to get it repo'd and ran up over $3k in toll road fines. I got that all straightened out (taking the car back in the process) and my other stepdaughter was using meth and got CPS called on her. We took in our three grandchildren. Dancing paycheck to paycheck sucks. I hope things get better for you.

jamesatemple

(342 posts)
111. Seems like trouble always zeroes in on the holidays.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 07:50 PM
Nov 2014

I sent a donation with my PayPal account. Keep us posted on your progress. Glad to help.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
124. The generosity of DUers restores my faith in humanity every time
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 08:51 PM
Nov 2014

I just never knew I would be on this end of that amazing generosity.


dixiegrrrrl

(60,010 posts)
126. I am so happy you are being helped by our DU community
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:11 PM
Nov 2014

and I am so pissed that our Gov't spends the tax money we give it on so many anti-social things.

Looking forward to hearing how you are doing, Marrah.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
128. Thank you so much Dixie
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:15 PM
Nov 2014

First thing is paying off the utilities. Not having to worry about them getting shut off is a huge destresser. It was getting pretty close.

greatlaurel

(2,004 posts)
127. K and R for visibility
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:15 PM
Nov 2014

Good luck to you and your family this holiday season and for the years to come.

tblue37

(65,371 posts)
131. I finally woke up and went to your page to make a donation.
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:20 PM
Nov 2014

I always want my donations to be anonymous, but I don't know how to make that happen without making them entirely invisible.

I click the button to hide it from everyone but the organizer of the page, but that seems to make the donation not get added to the total shown at the top of the page.

What I would like is for my name to not show--i.e., for my donation amount to be shown on the page as being from "Anonymous"--but for the actual donation and message to show on that page (to encourage others coming to the site to make a donation), and for the donation to be added to the total at the top of the page.

How does one do that?

On Edit: The reason I think my donation is not added to the top total when I click the "hide" button is that the top total stayed exactly the same after I made my donation.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
135. I am so new to this not sure how the details work
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:45 PM
Nov 2014

I made the page in sept but never posted it anywhere ( i chickened out) so really only been familiar with the page for a few days.

Canoe52

(2,948 posts)
133. Just chipped in...
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:27 PM
Nov 2014

Don't feel bad, it's not you. I know, been there myself, you can work your a** off and not still not stop the downhill slide. Hope your seamstress business works out! And tell your son everyone from DU says Happy Birthday!

Sienna86

(2,149 posts)
134. Glad to help
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 09:36 PM
Nov 2014

Hang in there Marrah and remember to breathe. Every morning is another chance for a great day.

Cleita

(75,480 posts)
142. I wish I could help with money, which is what you need right now,
Thu Nov 20, 2014, 10:52 PM
Nov 2014

but I'm pretty strapped myself. I am trying to do what I can to change our system and I hope, down the line, will help those like yourself who are slipping through the cracks. I may be here soon myself.

Cha

(297,246 posts)
146. I'm so sorry this is happening, Marrah! Sometimes we just have to get out of our comfort
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 04:32 AM
Nov 2014

place and ask for help. I would feel the same way.. but, it's better to do something and hope than keeping it to ourselves.

The Best of Luck to you.. I would give you some $$$ if I could but the best I can do now is moral support and kick your thread.

Omaha Steve

(99,642 posts)
153. Marta & I are in too
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 08:03 AM
Nov 2014

Clarence: [In book inscription] Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.

Do I hear a bell ringing?





Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
159. I slept well for the firt time in a very long time!
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 10:16 AM
Nov 2014

I can't thank you all enough. I am overcome with gratitude.

dixiegrrrrl

(60,010 posts)
164. Good night's sleep can work wonders, indeed.
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 03:14 PM
Nov 2014

Use a bit of that money to buy yourself a good multi vitamin with some Vit. C in it.
Stress can really be harmful, wear down your immune system, and flu season is coming.

I am thrilled that you got the help you need and delighted with how DU members came thru!

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
166. You shouldn't be afraid of asking for help, if you need it - you're among friends here.
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 04:09 PM
Nov 2014

People DO care. K&R

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
173. They do care and it's wonderful
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 07:41 PM
Nov 2014

I look forward to paying it forward once my situation improves and I am sure it will. I wasn't sure before, but I am now. All this has given me my hope back - and I love you all for it.

veness

(413 posts)
167. About sending thru Paypal or thru GoFundMe
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 04:13 PM
Nov 2014

Paypal does not keep a cut if $$ is sent to Friends & Family using one's Paypal balance or funds from linked bank account; there is a 3% (or so) charge if using money from a credit card.

The funds are available instantly if using Paypal, so the recipient can use them to shop online or to pay bills right away. If the recipient has a Paypal debit card he/she can withdraw $$ at most ATMs ($3.00 to $4.00 fee) or can use it to pay for something at a store and ask for cash back (usually there is no charge). The recipient can also choose to have the money transferred to a linked bank account (it typically takes 3 to 4 days for the funds to be deposited), or sent by paper check.

Gofundme keeps around 8%, and withdrawals take between 5 and 7 business days. The recipient can choose between an electronic bank transfer or paper check delivery during the withdrawal process.

Am very glad you reached out, sensitive people are helping, and you could finally rest Marrah! I hope others help out even more, so you can also cover other basic needs that come up (too soon!).

Happy birthday to your son, and congratulations to you for doing your best for him. Best wishes to both of you and to everyone who has helped or will help you in any way!

appalachiablue

(41,136 posts)
183. Very glad to assist. This makes us well too, it's all positive. You take care, get some of
Sat Nov 22, 2014, 01:52 PM
Nov 2014

the weight, stress off you and on to steadier days. All the best to you & to those depending on you, including your wonderful big Pooch! Hugs.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
184. The pooch is my Kona
Sat Nov 22, 2014, 02:50 PM
Nov 2014

Means "Winter Wind" He is a husky/wolf mix that I rescued a year and a half ago. he will be 2 in January. He is a very active, goofy and neurotic toddler.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
177. Yes- please, you have all done enough for me
Fri Nov 21, 2014, 10:21 PM
Nov 2014

Please, anyone still thinking of donating to me, please consider the other one instead.

Thank you all so very much for what you have done.

Karmadillo

(9,253 posts)
185. Do you an attorney for your son's disability claim? That might speed
Sat Nov 22, 2014, 05:18 PM
Nov 2014

things up quite a bit. Your local legal aid office can often help or refer you to an attorney in private practice with experience in disability cases. Best of luck.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
186. Yes we have a experienced firm handling it
Sat Nov 22, 2014, 06:20 PM
Nov 2014

The lawyer warned up this might take a long time and we may have to keep appealing.

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
188. I just wanted to give an update
Mon Nov 24, 2014, 12:17 PM
Nov 2014

Today I was able to pay off the Electric, Gas and rent. I was also able to get my son a used laptop for school for his birthday. I am also able to go do an actual food shopping tonight. Hopefully I will have the car repaired and back on the road soon.

But most of all....I have been able to sleep and no long feel as though the constant stress will send me over the edge any second.

Thank you so much for everyone who donated. I promise to pay it forward as I get back on my feet

Marrah_G

(28,581 posts)
190. Thank you Steve-
Mon Nov 24, 2014, 06:04 PM
Nov 2014

I saw your other post and know what is going on in your own life. It makes your encouraging words even more powerful.

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