How To Deal With The Narcissist In Your Life....

[Little Star]

The Narcissist in Your Family


You know the sister who never talks about anyone but herself? The uncle who holds forth at Thanksgiving dinner, from the pumpkin soup straight through the pumpkin pie and brooks no interruption, and certainly no contradiction? You know the parent or grandparent or even offspring who has never been heard to utter the words, "So how are you doing?"

Well, get used to them, because you're stuck with them. For the most part, there's no divorcing or quitting or firing your family. Even though you only see them at holidays, weddings and funerals, they'll always be a fixture in your life. That means finding ways to deal with them.

The answer, most psychologists say, begins with the same advice that applies to dealing with a narcissistic boss: Don't personalize it. The self-adoring family member is responding to an inner script, which is very often a painful script. That's worth keeping in mind.

It can also help, say therapists, to establish your boundaries: Make clear what you expect from a relationship, or at least a conversation, and that it must include some reciprocity. Narcissists are characteristically obtuse, but they do have a learning curve. When your relatives make short work of you often enough at family gatherings -- turning away to have a rousingly good conversation with the person seated across the table -- the message does get through. "It's possible," says psychologist W. Keith Campbell, PhD, of the University of Georgia. "But it's not the natural course of things."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/23/dealing-with-narcissists_n_6350948.html

Well this explains what's going on. I was trying to verbalize what was going on in my life to a friend. I couldn't find the right words. All I could come up with was diarrhea of the mouth. Words just pouring out about self and never a question about what's up with me/mine. Low and behold I stumbled upon this article a minute ago and I'm really glad I did. Makes me feel much more understanding & compassionate.

[On the Road]

1. I Don't Know the Effectiveness of the Advice

but the subject is one of the most worthwhile and constructive subjects in recent memory for a holiday article.

[Dont call me Shirley]

2. Thanks for posting, Little Star.

We all have a touch of Narcissist in us. It's those who have narcissism as a majority in their personalities that become difficult.

[Boreal]

10. uh, no, we don't

Narcissism and sociopathy exist on the same continuum and they are dangerous people. Narcissism is also not self respect or natural self interest.

People would be well advised to learn what narcissists and sociopaths really are and to recognize the signs - before you become the next person they destroy. You can know one for decades before it happens and then it's too late.

[Dont call me Shirley]

14. Uh, we all have fragments of our disowned selves in our own shadow selves.

I KNOW Narcissistic Sociopathy, my father was one! I am still repairing the damage done from that one!

[Boreal]

15. I'm sorry you had that in your life

I have, too and it's nearly destroyed me. We will have to agree to disagree about all people having that in us. I don't have a latent serial killer in me, either.

[Dont call me Shirley]

17. Nor do I, but if we do not acknowledge our shadow disowned selves, we will not heal.

By acknowledge I mean be aware of, awareness is a powerful healer. Trying to shove down or deny or disown your pain, bad genetic traits, learned bad behaviors, traumatic experiences causes more neuroses.

Try EMDR and/or Somatic Experiencing with a highly trained therapist, this helps for real. You've got to stop being reactive, that's PTSD which comes from trauma.

[Boreal]

18. Narcissism and sociopathy

cannot be fixed or healed. They are wired differently. The things that you listed have nothing to do with narcissism and sociopathy. Narcissists and sociopaths do not have empathy and cannot create it. They can only mimic, which they do in order to con the unsuspecting.

[appalachiablue]

25. I think you are right, and appreciate your straight talk. Seems this makes some who dislike

directness and truth uncomfortable, hence the get out anger and issues with a good cry, and get over it. It's unpleasant like life at times but to the contrary, more people need to speak out so others are aware of these types, in order to recognize and prevent more damage. The part about only mimicking is so true and sick...

[OwnedByCats]

42. I was unlucky enough to end up in a relationship

with a narcissist, which up until this time I had never met anyone quite like him. All people can be selfish at times, but this guy was on a whole different level when it came to everything. Sure, in the beginning he fooled me for a little while, but it wasn't long before I realized that he was a true narcissistic and maybe even a sociopathic person and he stopped hiding it completely. i was absolutely shocked that anyone would really behave like that. Of course I eventually realized that he was hard wired this way. I tried to make him see how his behavior was totally wrong, but they don't see that and someone like that never will. The only thing I could do was get him out of my life. It took some doing, but eventually i was completely rid of him. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks they are stuck with someone like that.

[Boreal]

43. They don't have an inner moral compass

They are aware of right and wrong through observation only. When they think they can get away with something outside of what's morally accepted, they go for it. If caught or called out, they lie and blame others. They never take personal responsibility for anything. They may PRETEND to if they think it will score points and fool others.

[OwnedByCats]

54. You nailed that right on the head absolutely

It's very disturbing for those of us who are a witness or victim of this behavior and mindset. I could not for the life of me understand it. All I ended up understanding was that it could not change. I'm so very grateful to have that very toxic person out of my life. Nothing good was ever going to come of that relationship. As predicted of course, he blamed me entirely for the failure of that relationship. It didn't matter that everything always had to be about him - the worst sin I could possibly commit was trying to make anything about me, even for a moment. He would say I was being selfish if I dared to do that. It didn't matter that he was incredibly untrusting (never believed anything I said) and verbally and emotionally abusive. He was controlling about everything from what I could wear to who I could be friends with (friendships with men were completely forbidden). It didn't matter that he had absolutely no empathy for me about anything. It didn't matter that he lied to me about practically everything. Just like you said, no personal responsibility whatsoever. He was a pro at turning everything around on me. It all was my fault alone in his eyes. Like I said, in the beginning it was different - he would say things he knew I wanted to hear, not meaning any of it of course. He did that to reel me in to him initially. Once he felt he had me hooked he stopped doing that almost entirely. Occasionally he'd still feed me something I wanted to hear (but of course would never materialize), but 95% of the time it was his way and if I didn't like it - too damn bad. I told him if things didn't change I was done, he just laughed at me or ignored me completely. I even laid it out in e-mails about how destructive he was and how much it hurt me, he claimed he would not even read them. His behavior actually got worse after I would take issue with something. The worst thing about this was he was in the middle of getting a degree in psychology! Can you believe that?? I don't know if he finished, I had to get out of there for the sake of my own sanity.

One good thing did come of my experience though - after I left him, I met the wonderful man who is now my husband and I appreciate him so much more than I would have had I not experienced the hell that was being in a relationship with a narcissist.

[Boreal]

55. Your experience is typical

And sociopaths ALWAYS try to isolate those they want to control because they don't want you talking about them to those they don't control. They don't like being exposed and you become harder to control with input from outside parties.

There is a website called "Sociopath World" that's interesting, if sickening, to read. I could only take so much of it because it's mainly sociopaths posting and they lie like rugs. It does give insight into their twisted thinking, though. I saw a post there ridiculing narcissists, their sort of lesser brethren. Narcissists are obsessed with other people's opinions about them (they're always telling everyone how great they are) where those on the pure sociopath end of the spectrum don't give a shit what others think of them. It was kind of amusing to read one group of psychos dissing the other.

[OwnedByCats]

65. I will check that one out

Thank you!

[appalachiablue]

66. Incredible.

[laundry_queen]

58. You just described my marriage.

It's so similar I may as well have written that first paragraph myself (except for the psych degree part). SO glad I'm out of that. I can't totally get him out of my life because there are kids involved, but I stay distanced.

Glad you got out too. They are definitely a piece of work.

[OwnedByCats]

64. I'm glad you got him out for the most part

It really is an experience I would not wish on anyone

[Dont call me Shirley]

21. I wasn't talking about healing the narcissists and sociopaths, I was talking about healing for their

victims.

[phil89]

27. "shadow selves"? Where is the

evidence for this nonsense? You're just making assertions and not backing them up. Please stop continuing to stigmatize people with legitimate disorders, it's simply wrong. Anecdotes are a dime a dozen.

[Dont call me Shirley]

28. Carl Jung good enough for ya?

http://psikoloji.fisek.com.tr/jung/shadow.htm

[pnwmom]

49. Actually, there is a healthy degree of narcissism -- the type that allows

a person to feel worthy and to act on his own behalf -- and an unhealthy degree, that which we call the "narcissist." Narcissists are so self-absorbed that they have no empathy for other people at all. To a narcissist, other separate people almost don't exist.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201201/the-healthy-side-narcissism

Popular conceptions tend to emphasize the exaggerated version of narcissism, particularly when the narcissism is extreme enough to justify a diagnosis of the personality disorder. However, by focusing on the disorder alone, these depictions fall short of the mark. A moderate amount of the right kind of narcissism can actually be beneficial to well-being. In fact, researchers have identified the quality of adaptive narcissism. People with a good dose of adaptive narcissism can be self-sufficient, able to assume positions of leadership, and self-confident. They seem better able to cope with anxiety, particularly in social situations.

There are reasons to believe that having the right amount of adaptive narcissism may be particularly adaptive in helping people maintain healthy habits. College students with moderate narcissism scores seem less worried about having their bodies on view when they exercise in a group setting (Akehurst & Thatcher, 2010). Even more, a study of adults carried out in the Netherlands found that individuals from 18 to 78 with higher narcissism scores were more likely to engage in physical activity. All other things being equal, it doesn't matter why you exercise as you get older, just that you do. Again, though, it's important to remember that moderation is key. People high in narcissism can become compulsive exercisers and develop eating disorders if they let their bodily preoccupations get out of control.

[Boreal]

53. Definintion of terms

Isn't the same for everyone when it comes to this. The author is defining self respect and a healthy self image as narcissistic. I'm talking about the narcissist-sociopath continuum and those people who lack empathy and conscience. I would never define self respect and a healthy self image as narcissistic.

[REP]

57. I think you're describing Narcissist Personality Disorder

As I'm sure you're well aware, NPD is much more than simply being a poor conversationalist. Other people simply aren't real to someone with NPD; they're things to reflect back to the NPDer what they want to see and when others refuse to do that, they become enemies of the NPDer. It's more complex than that (again, I have no doubt you know this all too well done f you've lived with/been raised by one), but it's far more than being a little vain or shallow. A person with NPD would actually be a quite charming conversationalist at first, at least; gathering information to use later for manipulation is something they do well.

[Boreal]

62. Indeed I am

And I object to the attempts to blur narcissists and those who are not by claiming that a degree of narcissism is a good thing. However, in a culture that worships material success, power, money and fame, it does not surprise me. Narcissism should never be confused with a positive self image and self confidence.

Narcissist<----------------->Sociopath

Same continuum and without empathy or conscience. All unique individuals with shared characteristics. The difficulty is identifying them before they harm you, as millions of people have learned (the hard way). When we learn what they are, it's a noble thing to warn and inform others!

[azurnoir]

68. What do you think about this?

Random Thoughts on Narcissistic Family Members
October 30, 2014 at 9:24pm

Just wondering how do you deal with a narcissistic family member — particularly when that family member is a close relation (mother, father, etc.). I've been thinking about this a lot lately particularly since my sisters and I, singly or together, have dealt with this situation for most of our adult lives. My conclusion is that there is very little you can do except put as much distance between yourself and that person.



The person in question can't be reasoned with; can't be made to see how they are in the wrong, and can not be made to understand that everything is not about them and that the people around them are not in some grand conspiracy against them. They will do everything in their power to maintain whatever hold they can on you. They will attempt to make you feel guilty even when they are the ones at fault. I've seen these people react irrationally — and even violently — when you tell them the truth, and will usually twist your words around when speaking about you to other people. I should not only twist your words but add things that weren't even mentioned in whatever conversation you've had with them.



If this doesn't describe an abusive relationship, then I don't know what does. But like any abusive relationship, you get the fuck out or you allow that other person's poison to gradually wear away at you until you become their own willing slave.



These people are a poison.



They are a drain on you, and you are better off without them.



Yes, it's even harder when that person is a family member but once again — you are 100% better off without them.

[Boreal]

69. I completely agree with it

In my case, my brother and his wife are sociopaths and she's also extremely narcissistic. These two destroyed my family and, (including my mother who died with my brother not speaking to her for years). I think it's possible that my sister in law overdosed my sick cousin to get her money. I cannot prove it, though. When money is involved, look out. As with more ordinary people, that can bring out the worst in some people and when those people are sociopaths-narcissists ANYTHING can happen. They have three adult daughters who all know the shit their parents pulled but my brother and his wife control them with money. Lots of people are easily controlled by money and when you add in the extreme pressure and manipulation that soc-narcs put on those they wish to control, many of their victims willingly play along to get along and get material benefits. In fact, one of those nieces has hooked up with a multi-millionaire sociopath who totally controls her but she is willing because she gets a ton of money and material benefits out of the deal. I'm sure she was conditioned to making this type of a choice because of her upbringing/parents.

[azurnoir]

71. Thanks n/t

[appalachiablue]

3. I have 2 in the family, can easily identify and handle. For a wonderful, long overdue book about

the strengths of introverts and characteristics of extroverts recommend 'Quiet' by Susan Caine, 2013. Wonderful work exploring personality types that are critical to know for any human relationships.

[safeinOhio]

4. B.F. Skinner showed the way to shaping

behavior. Ignore the bad and reward the good.

[Boreal]

11. He was a sadist

but besides that, those tactics don't work with narcissists and sociopaths.

[pnwmom]

50. The field of psychology has moved beyond Skinner's "black box theory."

Human beings are more complicated than that.

[safeinOhio]

59. Yes it has, but

getting away from mentalism and moving to quantifiable strategies to shape behavior has survived. It's hard to deny that which can be measured.

[MelungeonWoman]

5. Get used to them because you're stuck with them? Oh, hardly.

My father is a raging narcissist and I have had over 20 years of non-contact with him. It's been the best 20 years of my life. After years of meds and therapy my C-PTSD is nearly always manageable now and I only dissociate under the most stressful of circumstances. We can all be a little self absorbed at times, a true narcissist takes it to a whole 'nother level.

[appalachiablue]

6. Glad you got away from that and through the awful effects. Congrats. Hope you haven't been

around many sociopaths, they're another head warper. Recovery takes time, and many people don't understand, even stick by them b/c they can be outwardly charming, personable and successful.

I just noticed your MELUNGEON moniker, how cool. Don't see that often!

[MelungeonWoman]

8. Thanks so much for the kind words.

I steer very wide of the sociopaths I encounter, but I generally give everyone a pretty wide berth, lol. Most of my friends are gardeners, they are a wonderful lot.

When I was signing up for DU I was really into genealogy, I put that name in when everything else was getting rejected. I can't go by 'Lefty' on DU? Whodathunkit!

My family is out of Pike County, Kentucky, and traveled up Route 23 during the depression.

[appalachiablue]

24. Howdy. I love all things plants and gardens too. I was born in Logan Co, WV just next

to KY and Ohio, not far from Pike Co. Departed for school and work many years ago but had a wonderful foundation growing up in Htgn. esp. hanging out at Marshall U. when young.

I know most family genie thanks to my parents but am discovering more online. Just rec'd a DNA kit from Ancestry today. Excited, think there will def. be some Native American, perhaps Iberian. The Melungeon history is very interesting, I learned about it 8 years ago. Need to refresh.

Sociopaths and narcissists share traits, need to research more on that sometime. Amazing how much is coming out now about them, although Narc. isn't thought of as necessarily lethal by many I think.
More like self centered, vain. They can be very troublesome too, I know well. Run for your life either one.

PTSD I'm most familiar with is from war, military service, bad I know. My mom told us dad had treatment for battle fatigue in Europe after WWII. Don't know the extent or signs.

I'm fairly new to DU too, welcome !
There's an Appalachian Group under the US Places link on the Home Page.

[grasswire]

7. glad you recognize C-PTSD

I hope more victims of narcissists become aware of that as a result of the abuse.

[MelungeonWoman]

9. I do too.

It's a terrible way to exist and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

[Boreal]

12. This is correct

DO NOT PUT UP WITH THEM. They are dangerous and will destroy anyone else when it suits them. It makes me sick to know that parents teach kids that the most reprehensible soul sucking 'people' need to be put up with. They don't. Accommodate them at your own peril. Been there, got the t-shirt and barely survived it.

[laundry_queen]

31. I agree with everything you've said in this thread

I have narcissists in my family and was married to a sociopath. Unfortunately, I haven't severed contact just yet (it's a long story - I talk with my narcissistic parents but I am no contact with one grandparent) but I have learned to deal with them in such a way that they don't bother trying their stupid games with me. I'm more trouble than it's worth, is probably what they think. Being raised my narcissists has probably hardened me to the hurt...I probably could use years of therapy I'm sure but cannot afford it right now (don't have time nor money). Sometimes going no-contact is difficult and it does help to have tools to deal with them - but I agree, no child should have to 'put up' with being manipulated and emotionally abused. It's a complex issue that very few professionals, even, know how to deal with. There is a taboo in our culture about our parents/family members and how we have to 'respect' them just because we are related. I say hogwash. If you wouldn't have them in your life as a friend or acquaintance because they are too toxic, then you don't need to have them in your life as family either.

[Boreal]

37. Cheap self help

The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process: Transcend Your Toughest Times
Paperback
by David Berceli

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1897238401/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

(read the reviews!)


Plus this:

Trauma Releasing Exercises Step By Step Video Instruction and
Demonstration
David Berceli

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001XI23E4/ref=oh_details_o03_s01_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Seven simple exercises to release emotional trauma.

[laundry_queen]

40. Thank you so much.

Off to do some reading...

[pnwmom]

48. Have you read "The Children of the Self-Absorbed" by Nina Brown?

Another excellent book.

[laundry_queen]

56. Gee, I remember the title

I can't remember if I read it though, or not. I'll have to look it up. Heck, i may even own it. There was a moment in time a couple of years ago where I read probably close to 20 books related to toxic/narcissistic parents, and also probably 10 for dealing with psychopaths (when I found out my ex was one). I am having problems remember which I've read, at the moment, lol and some of them are packed away in boxes. I'll keep it in mind when I'm going through my books to see if I have it.

[dixiegrrrrl]

30. Yeah, I divorced my family of origin except for one brother

over 30 years ago.
One of the best moves I ever made.

Why would anyone put up with behavior from a toxic family member that they would not tolerate from anyone else...

[seveneyes]

13. Scratch a narcissist

And uncover yourself. As time goes by, one fills up with themselves and must simply let some out.

[Boreal]

16. Rubbish

Don't know where you're getting such nonsense.

[seveneyes]

19. Unreconciled reality allows for quantification of its components`

Without love, one will never understand their selfishness.

[Boreal]

23. It is narcissists and sociopaths who are incapable of love

or self introspection. Protecting oneself from these predators and knowing what they are doesn't make one unloving.

[seveneyes]

26. A chemistry problem solved by time and a search for the solution

It is but one systematic plan in the bigger scheme of things. Emotionally numb and uncomfortable is horrible for the time that it lasts.

[AgingAmerican]

36. They are capable of love

They are not capable of self introspection. Not all narcissists are predatory. Toxic narcissists can neither love or look in the mirror, but not all narcissists are toxic.

[Dont call me Shirley]

20. At some point you will need to address your anger and denial or that alone will destroy you.

You survived the abuse, now you must survive the damage you have suffered due to the abuse. Many people here are good and helpful people. Do not allow your defensiveness to push us away. You must begin to learn to trust people who are truly good for you and to avoid those who are bad for you and to learn the difference between the two. We are not your enemy.

Best of luck to you, Boreal. Have a good long cry, that will help.

[Boreal]

22. Oh, wow

Very strange and passive aggressive comment, reminiscent of a narcissist! You are projecting something onto others for what reason exactly? What need do you have to claim that everyone has a latent anything?

I'm not in denial, in the least. I don't have an inner narcissist-sociopath. I don't have an inner child abuser or pedophile, either. I don't have an inner bankster that wants to feed off others, either. I have many faults but I need not claim what isn't mine. We are not all latent predators without a conscience. Sorry that someone has convinced you that you are. Unless you are.

[laundry_queen]

32. That's because it's clear the responses come from a place of ignorance

Boreal is right about everything. I've studied the topic for years. There is no fixing them. There's nothing you can do to make it better. Telling someone who has been a victim of a sociopath or narcissists that they need to heal and move on is insulting. Anger at your abusers is healthy. And anyway, I don't see Boreal as being aggressive, and even if he was, I see your passive aggressiveness as far worse. You are invalidating and minimizing his comments with your 'dear' and telling him that his anger with destroy him - and that is a favorite tactic of narcissists and sociopaths. I'm not surprised you don't like that he called you on it.

[Boreal]

33. Thank you for recognizing the BS

It also reminded me of police tactics. Struggle when they put you in a choke hold and you're "angry", "resisting", "defiant". Of course the cops playing that mind fuckery are what? Sociopaths.

[laundry_queen]

35. It's one of those things

Once you 'see' it you can't unsee it. When I realized what my parents and my ex husband were, and I started studying it, I learned about all kinds of tactics people like that use. And once you learn about Gaslighting, passive aggressiveness, invalidation, minimizing etc, you learn to spot it a mile away.

[jen63]

61. I had a friend who

explained to me that my incredibly toxic, narcissistic ex-husband was missing the mechanism in his brain that allowed him to have a healthy relationship with another person. It opened my eyes to the fact that nothing I did or didn't do would ever change that. It took me twelve years to get out. He had adopted my son early in our relationship and I just thank the gods that my son's personality was already formed before we met. He has ended up a wonderful human being and I couldn't be prouder. Myself, well, I've struggled and do believe that it's mild ptsd. They delight in the belittlement of others and do their utmost best to "crazy make." BTW, he has nothing to do with our son, post divorce. You see, that wouldn't make it all about him. I used to beg him to see our son, unlike some divorced women, as he was a good father when Kyle was small. My son doesn't seem too heartbroken as walking on eggshells gets old. I'm letting sleeping dogs lie. I trust my son to know what he wants and what's best for himself. I'm sure the rejection hurt him as a fourteen year old. As a 21 year old, I think he recognizes that he may have dodged a big bullet.

[appalachiablue]

67. Yes these tactics are hitting home real hard. I was with one many years, didn't have the name

for it then which would have been helpful. Finally left, very late though but it's ok. I knew of Narcissus from classical mythology and art, but didn't hear the current usage until the last 5+ years. Sociopath and psychopath were limited to serial killers pretty much. Anyway, at the end I told him he was gaslighting, from the old movie- something in me pulled that out. Drove him nuts, I couldn't and wouldn't explain, it was useless anyway. But I must have seen it clearly in the film, that I knew from years before. A book or two on n. and s. subject would have been useful for support. Life goes on.

[Dont call me Shirley]

34. I wasn't talking about healing narcissists and sociopaths, there is no effective method of healing

them at this point. I was telling Boreal he can heal from the damage caused by his abuser. I was encouraging him to seek healing.

How is telling a victim of these monsters that healing themselves is insulting?

Of course anger at your abuser is normal. And chronic anger is destructive.

Boreal was insulting most of the posters on this thread.

[laundry_queen]

39. I disagree

I think you were being insulting simply by encouraging him to seek healing. You have no clue where he is or isn't on his journey. It was presumptive that simply because you didn't like the tone of the post, that somehow he needs healing and that you should be the one to tell him to go find it. You know what would've been better? Empathy. More PA statements in your post here too. How do you know his anger is chronic? You have, again, NO clue about him and are making sweeping judgements. It's interesting that you seem to have difficulty understanding how this is all quite insulting - if you have done any reading about this at all, you'd get it.

[Dont call me Shirley]

41. How is telling someone that they can seek healing insulting? That is a bizarre statement.

What you're saying is similar to not telling someone who is suicidal to seek help immediately.

I've done a great deal of reading on narcissism, sociopathy, psychopathy. Victims of these people NEED healing! They are traumatized! People who are traumatized have PTSD. People with PTSD have problems with chronic anger. He said he was a victim of a narcissist. He said it.

Everyone he posted to on that thread he was insulting.

[Boreal]

45. "Everyone he posted to on that thread he was insulting"

There is your "tell". You've written that like three times now. I told the truth about narcissists-sociopaths. I didn't insult anyone. That you take my telling the truth about these freaks as insulting is quite revealing.

[pnwmom]

47. Everyone has a degree of narcissism but some people have it to an unhealthy degree.

These people have no empathy for anyone else; it is impossible for them to put themselves in anyone else's shows. Everyone else is unreal; just a reflection of them.

True narcissists are very different from most people.

[Quantess]

38. What do you call nosey people who only talk smack about others?

Their own lives are so extremely boring that they need to gossip about others, often just boring and trivial gossip. Do they have a classification?

[Boreal]

46. Narcissists and sociopaths - nt

[pnwmom]

44. Here is a link to an article by Nina Brown about parental narcissism.

http://www.wmeades.com/id211.htm

She has also written an excellent book on the subject called,"The Children of the Self-Absorbed."

Adults who have survived a childhood with a narcissistic parent, though not narcissists themselves, may carry dysfunctional thought patterns into their own parenting unless they can unlearn them.

[Ryan Fitzomething]

51. No Advice Needed

My wife has to deal with me every day.

[Liberal_in_LA]

52. Kick

[Little Star]

60. This morning after reading the comments.....

in this thread I think that different people have possibly experienced different degrees of narcissism. Maybe that's why the difference in view points.

Then again, as Ygritte said “You Know Nothing, Jon Snow” and I'm Jon Snow in this case.

[hunter]

63. Our society seems to be designed from the ground up to be a happy hunting ground...

... for narcissists.

In a healthy society narcissists would have very little power.

[JEB]

72. Just because they are family

doesn't mean you have to see or be around them. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses.