Desperate GOP Spotted In South Dakota Trying To Build Keystone Pipeline Themselves

[Katashi_itto]

?6527
RAPID CITY, SD—Excavating hundreds of miles of trench following the defeat of a Senate bill that would have approved the project, dozens of desperate GOP congressmen were reportedly spotted in rural South Dakota Thursday trying to build the Keystone XL pipeline system themselves.

“We really don’t have any other choice at the moment, so we’re going to build the best pipeline we can using our own two hands,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), flipping up his welding mask as he paused from beveling an expansion joint to direct a crane operated by House Majority Whip Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA).

“Sometimes if you want to transport 830,000 barrels of crude oil a day from Canada to Nebraska, you just have to roll up your sleeves and do it yourself.” McConnell went on to say that while it might take a long time for GOP lawmakers to complete the 1,179-mile pipeline, the addition in January of approximately 20 incoming Republican congressmen should help speed up construction.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/desperate-gop-spotted-in-south-dakota-trying-to-bu,37499/

[House of Roberts]

1. That would be the most constructive endeavor they ever attempted,

were it to be true.

If the pipeline does get approved, look for McConnell to appear in a photo-op, wearing a hard hat, holding a shovel.

[Fred Sanders]

2. Now there will only be 33 permanent jobs?

Any idea how many tens of millions the Kochs have lost on their Alberts Tar Sands play as plunging oil
Puts a cap on the oil barons dreams of world domination using American politicians to capture its $600,000,000,000 dollar a year military?

That is one fucking big prize for any wannabe fascist..........

[TheCowsCameHome]

3. That picture is photoshopped.

No way would those pompous bastards know how to connect two pieces of pipe.

[annabanana]

5. (The Onion). . and funny

nuff said

[BlueJazz]

4. The GOP dumb fucks couldn't make a 2" water pipe with a $6,000 lathe.

[rurallib]

7. they wouldn't even know which end of the shovel goes into the ground

[Historic NY]

6. LOL...

[BumRushDaShow]

8. Priceless!

[Historic NY]

9. Where's Carnival Cruz., the Canadian???

he should be shoveling from his native land.

[frogmarch]

10. I thought it was real until I saw the link.

Leave it to The Onion.