The Onion: "Mitt Romney Terrified What Will Happen If He Ever Stops Running For President"

[Miles Archer]

There is also a video at the URL below.

Mitt Romney Terrified What Will Happen If He Ever Stops Running For President

http://www.theonion.com/articles/mitt-romney-terrified-what-will-happen-if-he-ever,30111/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus



DAYTON, OH—Claiming that running for president of the United States is all he knows, Republican nominee Mitt Romney has confided to aides that he is terrified of what will happen to him if he ever stops campaigning for the highest office in the land, sources confirmed Friday.

“Seeking the presidency is something I’ve basically been doing my whole life, and it’s the only thing I’ve been doing for the past eight years,” Romney reportedly told his closest advisers. “In less than two weeks, that’ll all be over. Win or lose, I have to stop running. No more crisscrossing the country from fundraiser to fundraiser, no more early morning strategy meetings to decide what voters need to hear from me today.”

“What happens when it’s Nov. 7, I wake up, and I’m not running for president—what then?” Romney added. “Will I still pivot to my talking points when I get off-message? Oh, God, will I even have talking points? What will I talk about? Somebody, please tell me what I’m supposed to do.”

Several staffers acknowledged that in the past month they have received panicked phone calls from Romney in the middle of the night, with the distressed GOP candidate worrying aloud about what will happen to him when there are no more campaign stops to hit, and speculating wistfully about what waits for him at “the end of the trail.”

[lordsummerisle]

1. lol n/t

[pipi_k]

2. The title alone is hilarious!!! n/t

[oberliner]

3. Hillary Clinton might be worried about that too

It seems like she's also been doing it for a while.

[SunSeeker]

5. No, she's also been Senator and Secretary of State.

And unlike Mitt, she's only run for her party's nomination once before. I've lost count how many times Mitt tried for the GOP nomination. Three? Four? And she has never run and lost an actual race for President, like Mitt has.

[oberliner]

6. Willard's been a governor

And I think he's only gone for the GOP nomination twice, and actually got it once.

Not meaning to disparage Hillary just that the media always seems to be talking about her running for president.

[SunSeeker]

9. Don't blame your swipe at Hillary on "the media."

She's not mentioned in the OP nor in the Onion article.

As for your defense of Romney, he was governor for only one 4-year term--he did not seek reelection and instead ran for President.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitt_Romney

Romney is now embarking on his third run for the GOP presidential nomination. He also had a failed Senate campaign.

Hillary was elected to the Senate twice. She'd probably still be in the Senate if Obama didn't ask her to quit the Senate to be his Secretary of State.

[oberliner]

11. It wasn't a swipe

It was just a comment that it seems like she's been running for president for a while. Nothing negative about her implied.

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. Wow...that is funny...

in a disgustingly too close to the truth sort of way....

I love it!

[IDemo]

7. Poll: Most Americans Now Consider Romney a Stalker (Borowitz)

In a possible setback for Mitt Romney’s latest Presidential ambitions, a new poll reveals that a majority of Americans now regard the former Massachusetts governor as a stalker.

The poll results suggest that Romney’s presence in every Presidential campaign in recent memory has taken its toll on the American people, who have expressed disbelief that he would return after being repeatedly told in no uncertain terms that he was not wanted.

Additionally, many of those surveyed said that they previously felt harassed by the Massachusetts governor’s relentless e-mails and phone calls, and favored some form of intervention to keep Romney from contacting them in the future.

In an indication of how much Romney’s serial candidacies have traumatized the American people, more than fifty per cent said that they would support a restraining order to keep the former nominee five hundred feet from the United States until the 2016 election had safely passed.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/poll-americans-now-consider-romney-stalker

[Petrushka]

8. K & R

[El Shaman]

10. wow!

What I call 'running' scared!!!

[BellaKos]

12. Please, consider this:

Romney just may be crazy. A person of his means has the opportunity to do anything in the world, but instead he fixates on running for President. For that reason alone, his aspiration -- his singular aspiration to be President and nothing else -- should be regarded with caution and suspicion.