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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsToday, my wife was mistaken for a Muslim.
https://bluntandcranky.wordpress.com/2015/02/14/today-my-wife-was-mistaken-for-a-muslim/The Blunt and Crankies are on our way home from a vacation with wonderful friends in warm, sunny places. As we stopped for the night in Whereverthehell Kentucky, she wrapped a scarf around her head because, well, its f***ing cold outside. Looked a bit like a hijab, but who cares when youve come from the Florida coast to Freezerville in 36 hours, right?
Wrong. The woman who was misguided enough to marry your humble correspondent is of Irish/Shawnee/Syrian descent, and is frequently taken as a local in whatever country or region in which we are at a given moment. Be it in Central America, Scotland, on a Reservation or so on, people associate her with their ethnic preconceptions. So, when the locals saw her with the scarf wrapped tightly around her head, they projected their image of a Middle Eastern woman upon her. Disturbingly.
Women looked at her with a condescending mixture of pity and disdain. They looked at me as if I were a wife-abusing terrorist. Men looked at us like we were both worthy of being shot by Chris f***ing Kyle.
All because a "white" woman was chilly and covered her head.
America, you are SO f***ing f***ed. Surprised nobody shot us based on their idiotic, bigoted, stupid-assed ideas.
Je suis Chapel Hill.
Sad.
It's been quite a while since I've worn a scarf, used to keep 'rain scarf' in my purse, and wore it when the need arose. Don't know where it is now. May look for it, and use it when I feel like it.
riqster
(13,986 posts)Sad.
elleng
(131,176 posts)'senior' as am I, so 2 of us graying. Not sure he's dark enough to be recognized as such, wears gringo gear. Was born in India, in location that later became Pakistan. Has been in U.S. around 60 years.
Panich52
(5,829 posts)Reminds me of concern my 'adopted' daughter had once (kid of best friend; I'm a 2nd Mom). It was shortly after Columbine. She's long been a Goth and wore black trenchcoat for quite a while. We were in WV and she came to me upset that folks were giving her looks.
Unfortunately, it'll be a long time before we humans can break our ancestral tribalism -- suspicion of 'others.'
riqster
(13,986 posts)It has happened to each of us before, but it never loses its sting.
yuiyoshida
(41,867 posts)especially in chat rooms. People see my photo and start telling me to GO BACK TO CHINA! as well as abusive names for Asians... Most of it comes from Americans... I do get it occasionally from Brits and Aussies as well.. Its so sad..that people can not accept people as they are.
KingCharlemagne
(7,908 posts)"Go Back to Nazi Germany!" It usually shuts them the fuck up! (Works also for those telling you to "Go to Cuba!" or "Go to Iraq!" or "Go back to Russia!"
yuiyoshida
(41,867 posts)Since I have some native Hawaiian blood in me.. but its not going to happen, my parents like the Bay Area now.. and they intend to stay. I love the Bay Area too, since I grew up here but a chance to live in Hawaii? I would jump on that..
busterbrown
(8,515 posts)blackspade
(10,056 posts)Some people are so damned stupid it hurts.
yuiyoshida
(41,867 posts)I don't have facebook any longer because of the abuse I would get ... "Take your chinky eyes back to China!" Haters gotta hate.
blackspade
(10,056 posts)I hate that you have to endure that kind of shit.
It's ridiculous.
onlyadream
(2,168 posts)When my daughter was one, a man yelled at me for "playing with fire, and that I got burned." He was with his wife and two young children, and I, age 31, was with my husband. I had no idea what he meant. Later, I realized it was because I looked young. Unbelievable.
pangaia
(24,324 posts)With a screen name like yuiyoshida?
jeez, at least the ignorant, bigoted morons could get the country right..
Oh, wait, you probably don't use that name elsewhere. eh..
yuiyoshida
(41,867 posts)the term he was using was incorrect. Than he said...ya'll look a like to me... You can't get much more nasty.
ailsagirl
(22,899 posts)Well, not unbelievable because I certainly believe it. Just staggering in its stupidity.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)Because I was talking to a friend of mine who is Filipino and works in a customer service call center there taking calls from different parts of the world. The friend told me that Americans are among the worst in terms of racism. The other interesting thing the person mentioned was that Americans and Europeans seem to dislike each other.
I explained that there are many people who have never traveled or lived abroad and have never experienced what other cultures are like.
America can be a very insular place. Sad.
hollowdweller
(4,229 posts)She put on a scarf because it was kind of cool and sprinkling and went to get some take out.
The guy who runs the place she got food at asked her if she wanted to go out. He's like from Jordan or Syria I can't remember.
riqster
(13,986 posts)Rozlee
(2,529 posts)It's a shame that darker women can't wear head coverings like that anymore because a segment of the population is so bigoted. I was raised at a time when women took wearing scarves over their heads as fashion. My daughter especially, looks gorgeous and exotic wearing her shawls over her head. She can't do it. Some asshole might blow her away.
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)What we call, in jest, the "Arafat scarf".
It too has lain tucked away in the drawer, to avoid ignorant eyes.
druidity33
(6,449 posts)i think that's called a khaffiya. It was in a Vampire Weekend song and i had to figure out what he was saying...
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)Yes, that IS what it is, and looks like. I had forgotten the name.
Wonderful guy, ran a lil corner store, always a big smile, and he and Mr. Dixie would talk for hours.
TexasMommaWithAHat
(3,212 posts)We have are such a stew mix where I live that head coverings are nothing over here.
On the other hand, one couple in my neighborhood goes for almost daily walks, and he wears shorts and a t-shirt, while she is covered from top to ground. UGH UGH UGH So much fun in Houston's hot and humid weather.
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)I swim laps daily. I usually only swim during the "adult lap swim only" times but the other week I got stuck at work and didn't get there til well into " family open swim" areas.
There were three women in long coats with hijabs tied so close around their heads they had no peripheral vision sitting on the bleachers in the hot, humid indoor pool bleachers. In the pool were their husbands in Speedos and their kids all playing and splashing. I spent an hour swimming my laps watching them feeling pretty unhappy about it all.
TexasMommaWithAHat
(3,212 posts)one of these days this summer when it is 98 degrees outside and the humidity is so thick you can cut it with a knife...sigh....I'm afraid I'm going to say something.
The poor woman is covered head to toe in a white garment which is just thin enough that is is apparent that she is wearing clothing underneath, as well. What infuriates me is the fabric of the hijab is somewhat plentiful wrapped around her face and neck, so I get hot just looking at her.
Thankfully, it does seem that most of the women here wear veils more loosely around their face. In fact, you can often see a bit of hair, and frequently look so beautiful I wish that I could carry off that look. I guess they are not as strict, though.
maddiemom
(5,106 posts)I was always bemused by the Muslim women who came in fully covered up, while their husbands wore sport clothes or jogging suits. One gorgeous woman had the most beautiful scarves, hijabs, etc. She usually had jeans poking out beneath the hem and lovely sandals and perfect pedicures. She actually made you envious, she looked so good.
pa28
(6,145 posts)riqster
(13,986 posts)Real muslims can't.
Beach Rat
(273 posts)A couple of years ago I dropped my son off at college in Ohio and then headed down to visit a good friend in Bristol, VA/TN. I called him before I left to ask if he had any advice on what route to take. Without missing a beat he told me whatever in God's name you do, don't stop the car in Kentucky and if you've got to stop for some reason, don't get out of the car. In all fairness I think you could find places in all 50 states where you could encounter equally ignorant people. Where's there's enough of them in one place they tend to elect equally ignorant people to represent them-especially in Congress. You are correct. This is the kind of thing that will truly screw us in the long run.
riqster
(13,986 posts)That was the surprising part.
Beach Rat
(273 posts)not to make excuses but its just so insular. Your story would be almost comical if it weren't weren't such an indicator of bigotry and ignorance. My son also spent some time in Kentucky with the Appalachian Service Project before he went off to college. He helped fix homes in Hazzard County one summer. It was a bit of a culture shock for him.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)never want to stop in, even for gas. I used to love very rural areas, part of my family lived in very rural areas and as a kid it was fun, but today I am very cautious, because this country has become so divided IMO. Parts of this country are filled with bigotry and ignorance, and they are damn proud of it.
blackspade
(10,056 posts)Hilariously ironic....
robbob
(3,538 posts)Last edited Sat Feb 14, 2015, 11:34 PM - Edit history (1)
Was living in Boston at the time, my new found friends had spent a few years down there so I went along with them to visit their friends. We camped out in the centre of the track, got to watch some redneck shirtless wrassling matched and drank a bunch of mint julips.
After we drove back to Frankfort and attended the after-Derby KKK barbeque down by the river. Don't know how else to describe it. Skinheads everywhere, heavy metal bands on stage. It was like a scene out of American History X.
Being the curious Canadian tourist I asked our hosts what would happen if a black person would wander down to this party, and they made it clear that any such person would probably not stay for long.
I stuck pretty close to my friends. Someone introduced me to the local burnt out Vietnam vet as the Canadian guy: that was interesting. Got a 20 minute harangue about Canada's non-role in that war. I just kept agreeing with him that Pierre Eliot Trudeau was a commie pinko who was too cowardly to join in that fine adventure. It seemed like the safest thing to do.
All in all quite an unforgettable night.
uppityperson
(115,681 posts)at me. It was quite odd. I get people looking at my dress sometimes, it is black with some embroidery, not heavy embroidery, but today it was quite odd. Nothing was said, but she was staring at me. Oh, I live in an aging hippy town where people wear whatever they want, often loose stuff, India skirts, jeans, tank tops, scarves. This was odd today. It wasn't an angry look, but was a very different watchful stare. Maybe she liked my dress, or felt bad about the NC shootings. I don't know.
pangaia
(24,324 posts)There are more aging hippies there than any place I know.
rickford66
(5,528 posts)I was just a year or so out of the Navy, married, long hair and a beard. My wife and I living in NEPA were traveling to Atlanta GA to visit her brother and family. Somewhere in SC I believe I was getting gas. The attendant asked where I was going. I told him Atlanta. He advised me to turn around and go back North. No further explanation. We kept going South.
PADemD
(4,482 posts)TexasMommaWithAHat
(3,212 posts)Head scarves are common here; I don't even notice them.
fbc
(1,668 posts)Let's be clear about something: All people in this country are free to practice their religions free of government interference.
That doesn't mean you have the right to have your religion respected. Others are perfectly within their rights to treat religious people with disdain.
Hissyspit
(45,788 posts)disdaining someone or not.
Luckily, Blunt and Cranky had the right to point out when people are being stupid.
uppityperson
(115,681 posts)HappyMe
(20,277 posts)That doesn't mean it should happen.
nc4bo
(17,651 posts)Judging people for what they wear, color of skin, an accent, their socioeconomic status, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, etc is plain straight up bigotry.
A person has a right to be "other" and live in peace. No one should have to take any abuse because they are in some way different. We don't have the right to commit violence on anyone based simply on the idea that they are different.
I hope I'm misunderstanding the meaning of your post.
carolinayellowdog
(3,247 posts)is not only endorsed but practiced here on a very regular basis of late; instead of being a refuge from such behavior DU has provided an echo chamber for it
Response to carolinayellowdog (Reply #38)
Post removed
HappyMe
(20,277 posts)and not mocked?
Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)HappyMe
(20,277 posts)Of course!
Not mocked and probably applauded.
Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)annabanana
(52,791 posts)Bigotry, while disgusting, isn't illegal.
Oilwellian
(12,647 posts)People around here tend to strive for a civil society. Part of that entails treating others in a public place as you would want them to treat you and your family.
This has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with common decency.
treestar
(82,383 posts)and what of other types of disdain? Do I get to treat Republicans with disdain?
I'm sure there are people who would love to claim their right to treat black people with disdain.
The difference between right and left is that liberals are tolerant. Don't agree with me, fine, think what you want. Right wingers on the other hand, consider disagreement with them to be a moral flaw. They are the ones more likely to treat others badly because they don't agree.
BlueMTexpat
(15,374 posts)"Do unto others ..." which is a common thread for being a good citizen of the world.
You may also have missed out on common courtesy.
May you be treated as you treat others!
riqster
(13,986 posts)Since my wife was mistaken for a Moslem, it follows that she is NOT of that faith.
Thus her religion was not disrespected. Read before commenting next time.
Ino
(3,366 posts)and then I walked into a store, and right in the front of the door was the checkout, and there was a woman there in a Muslim headscarf, and her eyes lit up when she saw me. Then she realized I was just bundled up from the cold, and looked disappointed.
How dare she assume I was Muslim! How dare she project her image of a Middle Eastern woman on me! What a bigot! How disturbing!
Or something.
uppityperson
(115,681 posts)greatlaurel
(2,004 posts)Last edited Sat Feb 14, 2015, 04:43 PM - Edit history (1)
Thanks for posting about this. It is important for people to understand this kind of casual bigotry and just how dangerous it really is.
The nonstop anti-Obama nonsense about him being a Muslim or a Muslim sympathizer is leading people to act in ways they would never have even considered. The right wing rhetoric is dangerous and is destabilizing our society. They think this will bring them more money and power. It is straight out of 1930's Germany.
If you listen to Hermann Goring's Nuremberg trial speech, it is frighteningly similar to the things that our current GOP politicians are saying especially Karl Rove and the Koch brothers. It is a huge problem, because this is no longer taught in high school history classes, many people are ignorant to what their propaganda really means.
Welcome back to Ohio in time for the big freeze.
Take care.
handmade34
(22,758 posts)YarnAddict
(1,850 posts)since Goebbels didn't go to trial at Nuremburg, instead killing himself more than six months before the trials even began, I'd be interested to know what speech you are referencing, and how it sounds like anything Rove or the Kochs say.
greatlaurel
(2,004 posts)I am correcting my post above. I am looking to see if I can find the text of his statement from the trial. I watched it on a TV history program about the Nuremberg trial. It was actual film of the trial with English translation of subtitles, cannot remember which now, that I had never seen before. The program was aired sometime between 2001-3. I have never seen it on TV again. The comparison to propaganda from the Bush administration was astounding and incredibly shocking. I was watching the program with someone else and we were shocked at the similarities to the GOP propaganda of the time.
csziggy
(34,139 posts)"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."
-- Herman Göring at the Nuremberg trials
http://www.holocaustresearchproject.org/holoprelude/goering.html
greatlaurel
(2,004 posts)I was working my way through one of the university sites that has the Nuremberg trial transcripts available on line. None of the transcripts had the wording as I remember it, although I had not had time to get through them all. What you found is very close. I do think this shows how similar in thought the people behind the Bush administration were in thoughts and actions to the German Nazis. Of course, it makes sense that the Bush family thinks along these lines considering how much money Prescott Bush made working with the Nazis. One of the most disturbing aspects of the election in 2000 was the use of the Republican operatives to stop the recount. This was an action that was closely resembled some of the strong arm tactics the Nazis used to come to power in the 1930's. It truly shocked me the news media here in the US did not hammer on this point. It shows how much the news media here has been captured by a very few influential individuals who do not have the best interests of the American people in mind.
Unfortunately, the link you provided keeps getting blocked by my virus protection software. I will check back later on the site to see if they get their security issues resolved.
An interesting side note from Wikipedia is that Hermann Goring's younger brother actively resisted the Nazi's and helped many dissidents and Jews escape.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_G%C3%B6ring
"Göring seemed to have acquired his godfather's character as a bon vivant and looked set to lead an "unremarkable life" as a filmmaker, until the Nazis came to power in 1933. Unlike his elder brother Hermann, who was a leading party member, Albert Göring despised Nazism and the brutality that it involved.
Many anecdotal stories exist about Göring's resistance to the Nazi ideology and regime.[8] For example, Albert is reported to have joined a group of Jewish women that had been forced to scrub the street. The SS officer in charge inspected his identification, and ordered the group's scrubbing activity to stop after realizing he could be held responsible for allowing Hermann Göring's brother to be publicly humiliated.[9]
Albert Göring used his influence to get his Jewish former boss Oskar Pilzer freed after the Nazis had arrested him. Göring then helped Pilzer and his family escape from Germany. He is reported to have done the same for many other dissidents.[9]
Göring intensified his anti-Nazi activity when he was made export director at the koda Works in Czechoslovakia. Here, he encouraged minor acts of sabotage and had contact with the Czech resistance. On many occasions, Göring forged his brother's signature on transit documents to enable dissidents to escape. When he was caught, he used his brother's influence to get himself released. Göring also sent trucks to Nazi concentration camps with requests for labour. These trucks would then stop in an isolated area, and their passengers would be allowed to escape.[9]"
SheilaT
(23,156 posts)in Life Magazine about a restaurant owner in (I think it was ) Maryland who refused service to a member of the diplomatic corps of some Middle Eastern country. I honestly don't recall what country. Possibly Israel. Maybe Syria Perhaps Egypt. In any case, the person who refused service defended that refusal as he didn't serve N*****s, and as far as he was concerned, that diplomat was a N****r.
Ahh, prejudice.
My Good Babushka
(2,710 posts)I like to wear headscarves in winter because they remind me of my Polish grandmother. She even gave me some of her "babushkas" before she died. But now I'm afraid to wear them. I have felt some eye-daggers pointed at me, just for wearing them. But I love them, they are so retro!
alphafemale
(18,497 posts)When I was a kid I thought a babushka was an old European woman.
snort
(2,334 posts)babushka means grandmother. Dadushka is grandfather.
Bluenorthwest
(45,319 posts)I'm gay. I'd never stop for the night in whateverville Kentucky at all. Why?
In 2013, there were 1,461 hate crimes against person with victims targeted due to sexual-orientation bias:
60.9 percent were victims of crimes motivated by their offenders anti-gay (male) bias.
22.5 percent were victims of anti-lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (mixed group) bias.
13.1 percent were victims of anti-lesbian bias.
1.8 percent were victims of anti-bisexual bias.
1.6 percent were victims of anti-heterosexual bias
So 890 officially deemed hate crimes against gay men like me. This is a constant in your society, dear Mr and Mrs Bluntcranky. The perpetrators are heterosexual people almost exclusively.
Religion of the victim is another major motive for hate crimes in the US, 2013 there were 1,223 victims of anti-religious hate crimes:
60.3 percent were victims of crimes motivated by their offenders anti-Jewish bias.
13.7 percent were victims of anti-Islamic (Muslim) bias.
6.1 percent were victims of anti-Catholic bias.
4.3 percent were victims of bias against groups of individuals of varying religions (anti-multiple religions, group).
3.8 percent were victims of anti-Protestant bias.
0.6 percent were victims of anti-Atheist/Agnostic bias.
11.2 percent were victims of bias against other religions (anti-other religion)
Way more than nasty looks, these are crimes against persons, acts of violence clearly and legally provable to have been motivated by bias.
We are 6 weeks into 2015 and already this year in the US there have been 5 trans women of color murdered. 5. In six weeks.
There are regular anti gay murders that go utterly unmentioned on DU.
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)A perfect example of white privilege and so oblivious it's scary.
riqster
(13,986 posts)With no knowledge, you make an assumption and a negative value judgement.
Same thing that the OP describes.
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)ever. Or it wouldn't be fodder for his blog.
So what group of people in the US are virtually guaranteed to be free from suspicion by strangers?
It sure as hell isn't a black or transgender guy...
Furthermore he's expressing his problem with his wife getting a dirty look but I can tell you most gay folks experience their spouse getting dirty looks daily. Probably multiple times per day. Black couples are similarly not immune and I'd hazard a guess that in whereverthefuckKentucky, a black couple checking into that hotel would hazard a similar reaction.
I'm pretty sure from such observations a reasonable deduction can be made.
If you want to read "projection" into that then fine.
For my part, my experience with bigots and racists informs my opinion.
riqster
(13,986 posts)Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in themselves, while attributing them to others.[1] For example, a person who is rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude.
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)Based on your skin color, sexual orientation, gender etc.
Otherwise you'd know exactly what I'm saying instead of accusing me of "projection".
Have at it and feel free to have the last word on this. It's Valentines Day and I'm in the mood for loving, not arguing.
riqster
(13,986 posts)Because it assumes that your list of targets is comprehensive. However, it excludes any number of other impacted groups: for example, you omit that older white males who had long hair during the Vietnam war were thus treated.
And the OP was written by such a person. Me. Run out of town, gassed, beaten, shot at, for being a freak. So hell YES, I have experience with being othered, lots of it. Still have the scars.
So your assumption, and its resulting projection, were inaccurate and deeply offensive.
Or do you assume that the dirty looks received by white male hippies were somehow "different" than those received by members of the groups you list?
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)He has stories...
We can sub-caterigize forever but parsing things too finely makes a mockery of general societal norms.
We're talking about the OP. Not outliers.
riqster
(13,986 posts)"Outliers" is just another term you use to place some people above others, to say that mistreating group A is worse than mistreating group B.
I call bullshit. When any human is othered, they are dehumanized.
It seems more acceptable to you that white women or men be subject to dehumanizing, because they are "outliers". That is exactly the same process of human division and stratification used by racists, homophobes, misogynists, and other slime.
It is no better when an alleged liberal does it.
romanic
(2,841 posts)I don't want to see other groups of people to be dehumanized, regardless of their so-called "privilege" or lack thereof.
riqster
(13,986 posts)Always glad when I encounter people who believe in true equality.
AngryAmish
(25,704 posts)Her last name is one that is commonly associated with Muslims. One night last summer I was drinking beer and watching the Cubs game when the doorbell rang. Three dudes from the local mosque came round wondering why my wife was not attending the mosque. I figure they either looked at the property records or more likely bought a mailing list. I told them that we don't go to church. They said ok and left.
Then I went back to drinking beer and watching the surprisingly watchable Cubs of the second half of last season. Jake Arrietta was nearly unhittable at times. Rizzo had a breakout year. Now with Bryant and the lads coming up....pitchers and catchers report in a week!
malaise
(269,211 posts)like a hijab. She told us she wore it to protect her hair from pollution - and she did have beautiful healthy hair. I'm betting she doesn't wear it these days.
IronLionZion
(45,550 posts)Are they going to bother random white people just in case? When they find out that some muslims don't wear scarves or beards, or even have much of a "muslim look" at all then what?
People mistook me for a "dirty brown muslim" every day for a while during the Bush years. It got so bad that my mom made me wear a cross around my neck and we all put American flags and rosaries in our cars and stayed home every anniversary of that horrible day for safety reasons. My parents still got heckled in line for voting for "your secretly muslim" president the last 2 elections.
And yes, there are some people who have seen us in church and Sunday school for decades who are sure that we are probably muslims who definitely changed our names for nefarious reasons.
I could start a whole other thread on employment discrimination.
je suis American as apple pie
alphafemale
(18,497 posts)And though, I am not close friends with her, I have spoken with her and found her to have a wicked sense of humor with a quick wit and pointed comments for many things.
And I just happened to be in the area passing through when I overheard another woman asking her:
"Why would you even care about earrings? No one can see them anyway."
Oh. Head. Desk.
marym625
(17,997 posts)I lived in Kentucky for 3 years. Western Kentucky, in a county with only 5000 people. It's a dry county. There's not a place of prayer that isn't some forms of Baptist (my aunt and mother drove over 30 miles every Sunday to attend the closest Catholic Church.) And, at the time I lived there in the late 1990s, there wasn't a person of color living in the county and the only family that wasn't a WASP (my family was Catholic so I guess you could count us too) was the Asian family that owned the only Chinese restaurant for miles around. It was like living in the 1940s.
My uncle was a cop with the town. He was asked to join the local KKK his first week on the job. He also was the cop that, one night at about 10:00, picked up a black man walking through town, and took him home in a different county. He did it for the man's protection. Literally, within 10 minutes, the cops received about 10 phone calls about the "n*gg*r" "negro" or black man on the street.
Though I ended up making some dear friends there, it took a very long time. I was an outsider. Worse yet, I was from the north. During one conversation the Jewish faith was mentioned. For the moment they thought I might be Jewish, I could see and feel the disdain from some. Not those I ended up friends with, but others.
But they seemed to have no problem at all praying in school, at community meetings, literally having kids rip pages from science books that taught evolution, divorcing and marrying their friend's ex. So much of that I can't imagine that there isn't a bunch of inbreeding of half siblings. Hell, after my aunt died, my uncle married his nephew's ex.
This story is not the least bit surprising.
RedstDem
(1,239 posts)How do you know what the people there were thinking? Did someone speak to you, or just stared at you like your a couple out of towner's?
randys1
(16,286 posts)of the people?
Given where they were, I have zero problem believing what he said.
Wouldnt occur to me to ask the question you asked, at all.
not at all
Now I would ask "were there any overt displays of attitude that you can tell us about?"
Is that what you meant?
RedstDem
(1,239 posts)People can be such little shits sometimes, I don't live out in the boonies, so I'm not familiar with little towns where everyone knows everyone and how people in those places take to any outsiders.
riqster
(13,986 posts)My wife is pagan, and the fundies give her the glare. And when I still had my hair, I got it a lot.
Pretty easy to read when you have experience.
Buzz Clik
(38,437 posts)mopinko
(70,265 posts)in 1940, while on their way to a honeymoon in cuba, my folks stopped over in miami.
now, my folks were both pure irish, and my mom was a redhead to boot. but she did have a rather prominent schnoz. when they went to check into their hotel, where they had reservations, they decided she looked jewish. they refused to let them stay. they sent them to another hotel that was open to jews.
give a bigot an inch........
BlueJazz
(25,348 posts)When I go into the Banks I service (On call, computer stuff), I'm sometimes around Muslims.
The strangest thing is: They're rather like intelligent, caring, nice people! Go figure??
It's the weirdest experience ever!!
heaven05
(18,124 posts)to bigotryville and racismville, america. Didn't feel good, huh????
benld74
(9,911 posts)in the winter time being ALL over the place. That was the STYLE back then.
NOW?
What people do when they see one is just pure idiocracy.
Lobo27
(753 posts)I remember back when I was younger and we visited family in N. Alabama. Thats where my mother is from. My father is Mexican.
People looked at her with such disdain as if she was some sort of traitor. We even had an elderly woman come up to us and question my mother on her choices.
The_Commonist
(2,518 posts)You know the kind I'm talking about:
They were all the rage in the late 80's, early 90's.
Nice and wooly warm, I have 2 of them and damn, but they look good on me!
With my mixed "black Irish," Cherokee and all the other stuff blood, I too get mistaken for whatever ethnic type people want to project onto me.
When I had facial hair, and would wear one of those hats, well, I suppose I looked kinda like this guy:
A couple of months after 9/11, I went to visit my parents in their small, upper-middle class suburban New Jersey town. A town about 45 minutes from the World Trade Center. A town that, sadly, lost 11 of its residents on 9/11. I took the bus, and walked the 7 or 8 blocks from the bus stop to my folks' house. (I grew up in that house!) I guess I wasn't really thinking, and since it was chilly, I wore one of those hats that day.
About a block or two away from my parent's place, and there was a little girl, maybe 9 or 10 years old playing in her yard. She sees me and starts screaming! She runs into her house "Daddy, Daddy!!! THERE'S A TERRORIST OUTSIDE!!!" Her father comes running outside and sees me, and we both just kinda waved at each other and rolled our eyes. He sorted mouthed "sorry about that" and went back inside to his daughter.
Not as bad as the story described above, but I've never worn either of those hats since then...
BlueMTexpat
(15,374 posts)or being mistaken for one.
What is wrong - and what is so tragic - are ignorant reactions to anyone who is/seems to be different in any way.
Frankly, many hijabs are quite flattering. They are especially practical on "bad hair" days. So long as they are worn by choice, I see nothing wrong with wearing them.
Perhaps we should all wear them to show what fools those who make fun of/sneer at/deride them are! That they are fools is the best that can be said for those who do any of those things.
pansypoo53219
(21,004 posts)i thought the nashville airport security in the 80's was a step above. he made sure my walkman was a walkman. if i remember right, he was not white white.
TRoN33
(769 posts)very popular in the south. The southerners continue to revere this movie and some reportedly have seen it three, four times already.
lexington filly
(239 posts)I've got a different frame of reference as to what the people you saw may have been thinking. As a kid I grew up in a small town where you were able to walk most everywhere. Sometimes I saw "The Nuns." As a Methodist, they seemed "other" and though I was taught my manners, I would sneakily stare at them when I thought they wouldn't notice. To me, their habits seemed like costumes, barriers between us as people, and I was quite curious about them because they were foreign to my personal experience of how females dress. Actually I had no negative or positive thoughts about them other than on a hot day when I, dressed in shorts, thought they must be suffocating. Compassion isn't a bad thing. So their religion seemed strange to me as a kid, when they dressed like that with their services in a foreign language that was dead, Latin.
Today, when I see a teen with her hair dyed purple or green, I look out of curiosity but then they do that not because they're trying to avoid attention. And I envy them a bit because I would never have had their self-confidence to do that when I was their ages.
Our ears and eyes are drawn to the stuff that isn't white noise in our daily lives And we can only guess as to what others are thinking at any given time based upon our very personal frames of reference.
RoccoRyg
(260 posts)I live in Chicago, which is freezing in the winter. Last year, I wore a hood, heavy jacket and scarf outside because it was an arctic tundra out there. Some guy I walked past said, "Hey scary." I kept walking and he said, "Who are you, scary?" Not wanting to be Zimmerman'ed by some loser, I hightailed it out of there.
Looking back at it, maybe I did look like an ISIS soldier, but it's winter dude. I'm not wearing heavy clothes for cosplay.
ladyVet
(1,587 posts)He's darker-skinned, has nearly black hair and brown eyes. After 911 I was always telling him to be careful and aware of his situation, because just by looking at him you wouldn't know that he's just an ordinary American kid with family going back to the 1600s on both sides.
We have lots of Native America blood on both sides of my family -- and probably on his father's side, though he doesn't want to consider the possibility (he's a fundie freak) -- but are mostly Scottish and German. My father is fairly dark-skinned, but has light eyes, and my mother's sisters are dark-skinned. They look more Native American than she does.By "dark-skinned" I mean darker than the usual Caucasian pale white.
I remember when we used to wear scarves all the time. For warmth, to protect our hair from the wind and sun... It was fashionable for women to cover their hair. I've taken to putting this fleece remnant I've had for years over my head/neck/shoulders when I'm sitting at the computer. I have it tucked under my chin, covering me pretty much all from my waist up. We keep the heat down, and I get cold.
Anyway, my sons would give me a funny look, and one of them joked once about had I become a Muslim. I laughed and explained that no, it was just warm, but I knew I couldn't wear it outside. It's got USAF stuff on it, so I would hope nobody would mistake it for hijab.
Around here, we have Amish, Mennonites, some weird Christian group that practices modest dress, and Hindus, and I've seen a few women with head scarves that I assume are Muslim. I go to Chapel Hill/Carrboro on occasion, so I've probably seen lots more than this, and just never paid them any mind. I don't like that women are forced to be covered up, but it's not my business unless someone tries to force it on me.
Maybe we should have a hijab flash session, with everybody all over the country suddenly pulling out scarves and wrapping ourselves up? It could draw attention to how stupid people are for worrying about stuff like that.
romanic
(2,841 posts)Last edited Mon Feb 16, 2015, 09:22 AM - Edit history (1)
I'm Puerto-Rican with darker olive skin tone and dark hair/eyes. Usually when I'm clean-shaven I'm not mistaken for a muslim person, but since I've been growing out my beard I have had a few instances where some people (usually white) give me a funny once-over or just an accusing look. Never had anyone actually speak out and say something ignorant to me, thankfully.