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Republicans Finally Find Oppressed Refugees Worthy Of Asylum.
It’s ‘People Who Homeschool’
You might remember the plight of those poor German homeschoolers who applied for asylum in the USA after the oppressive German government wouldn’t let them teach their kids about Jebus and his pet dinosaur. They really had it rough, and Eric Holder wouldn’t even help them at all, apparently because he’s content to see children abused by having to go to public schools. It was pretty much like the Holocaust, only directed at Christians and with German public school classrooms instead of gas chambers.
Thank heavens, the House of Representatives is going to fix this horrific denial of human rights! Even though the family of Ewe and Hannelore Romieke was granted “indefinite deferred action status” by the Department of Homeland Security, the House Judiciary Committee has approved a new bill that would grant asylum to up to 500 families a year who are forced to escape repressive regimes like the one in Germany, where homeschooling isn’t allowed. Christian News is excited that the bill would also “require the U.S. attorney general to hire at least 50 more immigration judges, which in turn would make it easier for families to obtain asylum.” If they’re oppressed Christian homeschoolers, that is.
The rest of the “Asylum Reform and Border Protection Act of 2015? is pretty much aimed at making it harder for the wrong kind of immigrants — i.e., anyone who isn’t an oppressed Christian homeschooler — to be considered for asylum, as advocacy group Human Rights First details.
The bill would make it harder for applicants to prove they’re likely to face persecution or death in their home countries; prohibits the government from funding any legal counsel for immigrants facing removal; and even when applicants have shown a credible fear of persecution, would not allow them to be paroled from detention facilities while waiting for a final hearing. So hey, if you’re an unaccompanied minor fleeing gangs who want to kill your family in Central America, make sure you carry a copy of a Bob Jones University Press textbook with you, and be ready to say that you fear being forced to go back to a government school, and you’ll be in like Flynn. (Actually, we deported Flynn — he wasn’t a homeschooler.)
Wonkette
You might remember the plight of those poor German homeschoolers who applied for asylum in the USA after the oppressive German government wouldn’t let them teach their kids about Jebus and his pet dinosaur. They really had it rough, and Eric Holder wouldn’t even help them at all, apparently because he’s content to see children abused by having to go to public schools. It was pretty much like the Holocaust, only directed at Christians and with German public school classrooms instead of gas chambers.
Thank heavens, the House of Representatives is going to fix this horrific denial of human rights! Even though the family of Ewe and Hannelore Romieke was granted “indefinite deferred action status” by the Department of Homeland Security, the House Judiciary Committee has approved a new bill that would grant asylum to up to 500 families a year who are forced to escape repressive regimes like the one in Germany, where homeschooling isn’t allowed. Christian News is excited that the bill would also “require the U.S. attorney general to hire at least 50 more immigration judges, which in turn would make it easier for families to obtain asylum.” If they’re oppressed Christian homeschoolers, that is.
The rest of the “Asylum Reform and Border Protection Act of 2015? is pretty much aimed at making it harder for the wrong kind of immigrants — i.e., anyone who isn’t an oppressed Christian homeschooler — to be considered for asylum, as advocacy group Human Rights First details.
The bill would make it harder for applicants to prove they’re likely to face persecution or death in their home countries; prohibits the government from funding any legal counsel for immigrants facing removal; and even when applicants have shown a credible fear of persecution, would not allow them to be paroled from detention facilities while waiting for a final hearing. So hey, if you’re an unaccompanied minor fleeing gangs who want to kill your family in Central America, make sure you carry a copy of a Bob Jones University Press textbook with you, and be ready to say that you fear being forced to go back to a government school, and you’ll be in like Flynn. (Actually, we deported Flynn — he wasn’t a homeschooler.)
Wonkette
