This is why it’s impossible for the Kremlin to lie about Putin’s weird disappearance

[nitpicker]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/03/14/this-is-why-its-impossible-for-the-kremlin-to-lie-about-putins-weird-disappearance/

This is why it’s impossible for the Kremlin to lie about Putin’s weird disappearance

By Julia Ioffe March 14 at 6:00 AM

It’s been more than a week now since anybody’s seen Russian President Vladimir Putin. He had a mundane meeting with Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi on March 5, and then … nothing. Since then, Putin hasn’t been seen in public, and the Russian blogosphere can talk about nothing else.
(snip)

Unsurprisingly, this combination—active and seemingly frantic dissimulation, and flat denial that anything is amiss—is perfect for the Internet. #PutinIsDead began trending on Russian Twitter, and the Russian blogosphere began to churn out theories of what happened to Dear Shirtless Leader, each version more ludicrous than the next.

(snip)
This is, in large part, a crisis of the Kremlin’s making. If Peskov can’t make Putin reappear, the obvious thing to do would be to furnish some plausible explanation, like, “The President has come down with a bad case of the flu but is following all developments and will be back at work shortly.” But that statement is impossible for two reasons. First, manly men don’t get sick. (snip) The second problem is that no one would believe Peskov. The flu would become its own meme and people would parse that statement for clues about Putin’s secret death or secret stroke or secret tumor. That’s because the Kremlin has done such dissembling before.
(snip)

Then there are the more alarming times Russian leaders have disappeared. (snip) You can see why some in Russia are panicking right now—or veiling their discomfort in humor. It certainly doesn’t help that Putin’s disappearance comes at a particularly nervous time for the country. It is at war in Ukraine, its economy is shuddering under sanctions and historically low oil prices, and the opposition leader, Boris Nemtsov, was recently gunned down steps from the Kremlin. There is a sense in Moscow that the wheels are coming off. To Moscow’s chattering class, Putin’s disappearance confirms that impression.
(snip)

Which tells you why Russian liberals are so worried and, strangely, implicitly hoping for Putin’s reappearance. Two weeks ago, one of their main leaders was assassinated. The other one, Alexey Navalny, has basically admitted that the opposition has been neutered and marginalized. And if Putin’s gone, they certainly won’t be the ones to take power. It will be the real strongmen.

[OKNancy]

1. Putin is so vain, he probably had plastic surgery

LOL - and doesn't want anyone to know.

[Cosmocat]

2. That was my thought, too

Something elective ...

Interesting to see how it shakes out.

[awoke_in_2003]

13. He's so vain

he probably thinks this thread is about him.

Thanks, I have had "Lost in Love" stuck in my head all day, and this knocked it out

[PADemD]

3. "This is for you to remember me."

Why did he make that statement to a classroom?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1017250756

Curious, now that he has disappeared.

[jomin41]

4. probably just another

sex-change operation. Putin 2.1, new and improved! Now, with breasts! Shirtless on horseback!

[randome]

8. Moob reduction.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]No squirrels were harmed in the making of this post. Yet.[/center][/font][hr]

[maindawg]

5. Russia could be about to implode

The world does not need another dictator with nukes. Russia backs Iran. WW3 the stage is set.....

[fasttense]

6. Reminds me of the time our beloved leader disappeared

After 9-11, Dick the Cheney had disappeared, hiding no doubt in fear for his life. All sorts of rumors were about on the interwebs. Then in a puff of smoke, I.mean out of nowhere, he returned to the land of the living without a heart to destroy America as a neocon demon. Oh wait neocon and demon is redundant.

[BumRushDaShow]

11. And don't forget the websites and blog sites

asking "Where is Dick Cheney?" over the 8 years he was in office.

[Fred Sanders]

7. Six Kiev regime opponents have apparently committed "suicide" recently. Did the Kiev regime kill them??

This Fox-type speculation is fun, you can just make connections and stuff up and it is all good.

[BumRushDaShow]

9. Remember when Kim Jong-Un disappeared

and 6 weeks later reappeared? Ankle surgery.

Usually when these folks "disappear", they are having some sort of procedure done and are in recovery. At least the times when Castro was ill, the government announced that he was ill and having treatment rather than try to overtly hide it like their Communist brethern (and even with that, there was always the "He's dead Jim" speculation by the media, which has gone on for the past couple decades).

[hunter]

10. I wonder if this has anything to do with that penis transplant...

[BobSmith4152]

12. Just get AP to track his cellphone as they did with Aaron Schock.

[FSogol]

14. Probably pneumonia from never wearing a shirt on those grizzly bear rides.