Lawmaker Says She’s ‘Sat Here Too Long,’ Discloses That She Was Raped And Had An Abortion

[Skidmore]

Last edited Thu Mar 26, 2015, 02:59 PM - Edit history (1)

Good for her. We need women to stand up. All of us should stand with her. This is a matter of health and safety, and the health and safety of our children too. It is a matter of choice.

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2015/03/26/3639180/female-lawmakers-personal-health/

This week, Ohio State Rep. Teresa Fedor (D) stood up during a legislative debate about a proposed abortion ban and revealed publicly for the first time that she had been sexually assaulted, became pregnant, and had an abortion.

“You don’t respect my reason, my rape, my abortion, and I guarantee you there are other women who should stand up with me and be courageous enough to speak that voice,” Fedor told her fellow lawmakers, who are attempting to outlaw abortion procedures after just six weeks of pregnancy. “What you’re doing is so fundamentally inhuman, unconstitutional, and I’ve sat here too long.”

“I dare any one of you to judge me,” she added. “I dare you to walk in my shoes.”

Fedor’s disclosure is just the latest personal admission from a female lawmaker who has determined she cannot remain silent about her own experience while her colleagues debate issues of reproductive rights on the floor.

Article title revised to reflect correction by website.


more...

[mercuryblues]

1. it

disgusts me that women are forced to reveal their inner pain to the world, in an effort to be considered a full human.

[Wella]

5. Agreed. But many folks think they don't know anyone personally who's been raped or had an abortion

Now the entire Ohio government knows someone personally.

[-none]

10. That is because most women don't go around advertizing it.

There are more women than most people realize.

[Wella]

11. Actually, most women do tell their friends (female), but they have a right to their privacy.

She didn't have to do this but now all of her colleagues "know someone."

[CountAllVotes]

27. You are right

Welcome to the Democratic Underground and yes, I agree with you and no, I do not "advertise" it either. In fact, NOT EVEN my husband of 35 years knows about it.

[uppityperson]

33. I wouldn't call it "advertising" but instead simply talking about it.

There are a lot of women who have told close friends, family, and a lot who never talk about it. There are a lot of things we don't talk about out of fear of being judged and the more who are able to speak out, the better it will be. imo.

[-none]

43. That was just the way I worded it. I maybe should have put a little more thought in the wording.

Unless they go public, only a few usually know, is what I was trying to say.
And you're correct, there is a lot of stuff we don't talk about that we should be talking about.

[pnwmom]

40. When I was in college, a good friend of mine had one and didn't tell me.

She was afraid to tell me because she knew I was Catholic. She also didn't tell me that she had been suicidal before the abortion.

I wouldn't have judged her anyway, but that incident solidified pro-choice for me. I knew I couldn't have done anything but support my friend if I had known -- and was so sad that she had been afraid to come to me because of the church I'd grown up in.

[Skidmore]

7. I would rather a woman stood up and owned her life than

to sanctimoniously cast judgment on others. I respect this woman tremendously.

[calimary]

25. So do I. That took courage in this climate of condemnation and cold, harsh judgmentalism.

And the lack of compassion that is systemic throughout the other side of the aisle. Hell, they LAUGH at it. Remember when cheney did that? Turned up his pig snout and scoffed at the very ridiculous comedy idea of "empathy." (And my sincere apologies to pigs everywhere.)

Let's take a lesson from the fight that the LGBT community has had to wage through the years - to get where they are now.

Let's look at what one of the main undercurrents that led to a softening of the attitudes toward marriage equality.

It began to dawn on various members of Joe and Jane Q Public that - "SHIT! I KNOW somebody who's gay! SHIT! And - um - er - gee, um - I like that person. They're so nice. Their (GULP!) KIDS play with mine and they're wonderful. I've trusted my kids at their house and everything was fine - they all had a wonderful time, totally safe, great fun, we were all there having a great time!"

Or - "OMG - I'm working with a GAY guy??? He's GAY??? But ... but ... but ... gee, he's so nice! He's the kindest soul in the office. I really like him. He covered for me one day when I got that phone call and had to race home... Saw him in church the other day... But he's such a nice guy... so generous, helps out extra all the time, (GULP!) he's GAY???? Gee.... ... ... "

THEY COME TO REALIZE, OR IT FINALLY DAWNS ON THEM --- THAT THEY KNOW SOMEBODY WHO'S GAY.

THIS, I think, is the key. People out there in the "heartland" or wherever it is - suddenly discover, one fine day, that they know someone who's gay. And it probably dawns on them at some point that that person, neighbor, fellow parent, coworker, relative, whoever, is NOT some weirdo or demon or I-don't-even-know-what these people might have in their misinformed brains about who gay people are. And I think there probably comes a moment when such an individual realizes that the other person is NOT gonna bite their heads off. And that the other person loves God as much as they do. And that the other person puts their pants on one-leg-at-a-time just like they do themselves. And that the other person is a good neighbor who is kind, generous, and respectful, and maybe is the first person they call if they think there's a prowler or something.

IT COMES FROM FAMILIARITY. Which teaches them with their own eyes and ears and personal experience that...

That other person DOES NOT have devil horns coming out of their heads.
That other person, they discover, DOES NOT worship Satan.
That other person, they realize, DOES NOT conform to the horror stories their favorite hate-radio host goes on and on about.
That other person, they discover, DOES NOT FIT with what they've been taught or scared into believing.
That other person, they realize, IS NOT some godless monster.
That other person lives next door, or down the street, or works down the hall from them, or they see each other at PTA meetings. AND NOTHING EVER GOES WRONG.
That the bullshit they're being fed about gays does not fit what they themselves see and hear and know and recognize personally, and therefore really can't apply here. *

* And then, some of them are bound to make the next leap - "well, if that bullshit doesn't apply here (with this person I just found out was gay), could it be that maybe it doesn't apply to others either?"

There comes a point where the established understanding doesn't fit anymore. It doesn't work anymore. It doesn't seem to apply in this case - - - and maybe others as well?

I think THAT, more than anything else, has caused the slow but steady change in attitudes about the gay community, one individual at a time. I think the familiarity, the personal knowledge of what actually is true rather than wild horror stories that are just a bunch of bunk and NOT provable or sustainable in real time, in the real world, in the real neighborhood, in the real school, the real shopping center, the real office, the real church.

There used to be across-the-board shaming of the whole idea of "gay." You didn't discuss it, you didn't mention it if one of your relative was "one of THOSE." You didn't bring it up in "polite company." It was something to be ashamed of and hidden.

But then, you start realizing that all these nice people, whom you know, whom you trust, whom you live next-door to, whom you see at the local Starbucks all the time or at the parents' meetings at school or wherever... you start realizing that there is NOTHING wrong with these nice people, and they're just what they seem to be: nice people. What you see is what you get. They're just nice people. Normal and friendly and kind and intelligent and good neighbors and helpers and all those other things you regard as good.

The problem for the choice side is that not enough women who've had abortions have "come out." Nobody knows anybody who had an abortion, and from the shit that's heaped upon the whole idea of abortion leads you to think these women are whores, harridans, monsters, godless murderers and perverts and devil-worshippers with horns coming out of their heads, yeah, that's GOTTA be it! Besides, limbaugh says so. And ted cruz's father says so. And mitch mcconnell says so. And henry hyde said so. And ex-governor bob "vaginal probe" mcdonnell said so! Well, I bet they all knew women who'd had abortions but were too ashamed to come forward and talk about it. AND PUT A HUMAN FACE ON IT.

Which means - there's NOTHING to hate, there, or condemn there, after all.

That's exactly what the gay community has done, and rightly so. THEY PUT A HUMAN FACE ON BEING GAY. A gay person is NOT a monster. As that Joan Osborne song lyric goes -
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us?
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make His way home?

Substitute the word "gay" for "God" and it's the same thing. The same reality.

And women who've had abortions need to come forward, and PUT A HUMAN FACE ON THIS ISSUE. Because THEY are "one of us," TOO.

Aw shit - sorry this is so long...

[haele]

45. I'd agree, but I know too many women who are anti-choice who had an abortion.

Women who tell themselves that "My abortion was different. I'm a good person, and it was someone else's fault that I needed one..."
Women who would be picketing a Planned Parenthood one month, show up one morning before the picketers gathered so no one they know could see them - maybe with a teen-aged daughter shamefacedly in tow for a "consultation and schedule", then go back to the picket lines a month later because -
"Well, it's no-body's business but God's what they do with their body - and since they had their abortion, God must have been okay with that, because these sanctimonious women believe they would never even think about having an abortion unless God had a different plan for them and didn't want them to get pregnant at that time". Or, because they're special enough that just praying for forgiveness, makes everything okay.
- "I'm not like all those other godless sluts who are using abortion as birth control just because they couldn't keep their legs shut..."

I just don't have the faith that having more women in politics will help the pro-choice movement as much as I would like. A lot of these women got their male patrons to approve their elections upward into politics. because it put a nice female face on the hyper-right-wing apostolic hypocrite parties, and they know these reactionary cows (sorry) would never say boo to a male instruction, and because they gave up their critical thinking brains when they accepted the fraud standing at the pulpit.

Haele

[calimary]

49. Well, Haele, your last paragraph pretty well explains specimens like marsha blackburn,

cathy mcmorris rodgers, michele bachmann (fortunately, no longer there!), renee ellmers and that gawd-awful virginia foxx, and more. Beats the hell outta me why ANY woman would ever want to vote republi-CON, much less run as one of them. They are against everything that we believe in, everything we know helps people, everything we know that helps women in particular, EVERYTHING that makes sense for our children and our planet and the future of all life forms on it. It just makes no sense. And neither do they. Sheesh - renee ellmers claims to be a doctor. WTF??? And she sides with THAT side? SHAME on her!!! Where'd she get that MD degree? The same place she buys her lottery tickets? That they can side with that bunch of backward, racist, misogynistic, proudly-ignorant "great 6th Century minds of our time" is beyond me.

I try, every so often, to imagine being part of the GOP. Just as an exercise. And I can't. Turns out to be just an exercise in futility. It just doesn't work. Makes NO sense. There's nothing there for me. There's no platform plank there for me. There's no thinking there for me (hell, there's no thinking there - AT ALL), There's no philosophical argument there for me. There's not even the most miniscule aspect of a world view that is there for me. They got NOTHIN'. There's NOTHING for me there. Being as objective as I can possibly be. NOTHIN'. The cupboard is BARE.

As far as the first part of your post - I'd listen to the ones with compassion. TRUE compassion. NOT the "well, it's nobody's business but God's... BUT..." or that lovely "well, rape is a terrible thing, BUT God WANTED you to get knocked up, and that baby is sacred and blah-blah-blah..." THAT is NOT COMPASSION! That's just more doublespeak and bullshit. Especially since the same kind of simpering bullshit is gonna get into office (or try to) and then proceed to cut away from you ANY possibility of being able to support, feed, clothe, shelter, raise, protect, or educate that eventual baby. I wouldn't listen to those women. I'd listen to the ones who'd had the real world hard time. Who had to abort for all the reasons that a woman in serious need or serious predicament might seriously have to. They think it's such a casual thing. They dismiss it. They assume we're just using abortion as a lazy-ass birth control. Wonder if any one of them emerged from a hot and heavy love embrace only to discover that the rubber broke? Wonder if any one of them took the pill on schedule or followed all the instructions and did everything right, and it was just one of those flukes where it didn't work? Wonder if any of 'em had an unplanned pregnancy after they already had three or four kids they could barely afford to feed on their meager salary, with no help, no child care, no mother or mother-in-law to step in, no man to shoulder half the responsibility, and what does one do then? Wonder how many of them were impregnated during rape?

I would pay no attention to any republi-CON woman who claims she had an abortion but ... but ... but ... They're ALWAYS going to come up with a justification for why it was bad and they regret it and so now they're hellbent on making sure nobody else can ever get one, regardless of the reason. They speak with forked tongues and no credibility whatsoever. And CERTAINLY without compassion!!!!

Just always keep one thing in mind: WHO's the one who sneers at empathy? WHICH party is the one that does that? WHICH is the bunch whose inside motto is "it sucks to be YOU!"? WHICH one is the IGMFU gang (I Got Mine, F-U)? It sure as hell isn't OURS! Because compassion would inform - and compel - a different view on this issue than the one they so ardently embrace.

Look for the compassion. Follow your heart. Should be easy. We humans are literally built for it. The human heart hangs to the LEFT.

[heaven05]

54. kudos

[raven mad]

50. Beautifully written, calimary - please post as a OP.

I'll bookmark it for sure.

[murielm99]

46. I have a hard time figuring out

why anyone should feel shame over choosing abortion. I remember when the Supreme Court decision came out, and the women I knew rejoiced. We did not have to hide any more, or risk our lives.

The fact that women can be shamed over making a choice that is right for them is disgusting. It shows me that the anti-abortion zealots are winning, bit by bit.

I would stand by this woman, and any others like her.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Nitpick: She's not a Congresswoman; she's in the Ohio state legislature.

Nevertheless, brava to her for what she did.

[Skidmore]

6. I copied the headline of the article

so you'll have to take that up with the publication.

[bvf]

29. Says "Lawmaker" at the link.

No biggie there, but it strikes me as sad that any female representative should have to share such intimate details of her life to make a political point.

Still, good for her in speaking out. (She shouldn't have had to.)

[Gore1FL]

20. She's a representative in the Ohio State Congress.

Why is she not a congresswoman?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

30. Because Ohio doesn't have a Congress.

It has a General Assembly. The person in question is a member of the state's House of Representatives, which is the lower house of the General Assembly. "Congress" refers to the legislature of the federal government.

[Gore1FL]

34. According to Webster:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/congress

1
a : the act or action of coming together and meeting
b : coitus
2
: a formal meeting of delegates for discussion and usually action on some question
3
: the supreme legislative body of a nation and especially of a republic
4
: an association usually made up of delegates from constituent organizations
5
: a single meeting or session of a group

[progressoid]

3. ...

[Stuart G]

4. She is a state representitive...Here is another link..(thinkprogress errored with, "Congresswoman")

http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2015/03/state_rep_teresa_fedor_opens_u.html


another view of same story...


great woman,...incredible courage..

[Gore1FL]

21. She is a congresswoman in the Ohio House of Representatives.

How is using a synonym and error?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

31. Because it isn't a synonym.

"Congress" is word for the national legislature of a country.

[Gore1FL]

35. According to Thesaurus.com

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/lawmaker


Synonyms for lawmaker
noun lawgiver

legislator
congressman
congresswoman
councilman
councilwoman
congressperson

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/congresswoman


Synonyms for congresswoman

legislator
congressman
congresswoman
councilman
councilwoman
congressperson


Congress isn't necessarily national. Missouri has congressional districts for the State House, for example:
http://www.house.mo.gov/content.aspx?info=/maps/maps.htm

[Gormy Cuss]

58. The map at your link is of U.S. congressional districts in the state of MO.

Note the other links on the same page, which refer to the state legislative districts (state level house and senate.)

As for synonyms, not all synonyms are 100% overlaps in meaning. Congress(man/woman/person) refers specifically to a member of a congress. AFAIK in the U.S. no state calls it legislature a congress. Most states do mimic the Federal terms for each body, calling one body the House of Representatives and the other body, the Senate.

[Gore1FL]

59. This is a rater delayed pedantic sub-thread.

There was one that had 160 some-odd districts. I don't care anymore. You win.

[Gormy Cuss]

60. I can't win when there is no contest. n/t

[beam me up scottie]

8. Bravo, Ms. Fedor.

[niyad]

9. "they're sitting in the capitol, they're voting on our lives"

from "days of the theocracy"

I applaud her for her courage, and hate the system that sees her as less than human, unworthy of full autonomy.

[madokie]

12. I seriously doubt if any

of the old bastids in the room will stand with her. Its us men who should be standing if you really want to know the truth. Enough of this holier than thou men telling women what or how to treat or control their bodies.

My hero's have always been and always will be Women. In my personal life its always the women who stand the tallest when it comes down to the nut cutting. Oh btw, I'm not using that phrase in a derogatory way either. What I mean by that is when it comes down to the shit hitting the fan its always the girls who stand first, fight hardest, always. In my life that is and I'm 66 yo

I hope she is ok.

[Skidmore]

13. Contact her. I did.

http://www.ohiohouse.gov/teresa-fedor/contact

Let her know that she has your support as do all women.

[pnwmom]

41. What district does she represent? I have relatives there. n/t

[Skidmore]

42. She's in District 45 in Toledo.

I used the form at the link I provided and it sends to her.

[pnwmom]

44. Thanks.

My relatives should contact their own reps, I guess, and tell them that they support this woman. Good for her.

[hamsterjill]

38. Thank you for your post.

I appreciate your words - obviously from an enlightened gentleman.

I'm a 56 year old female, and I, too, have always found that "it's always the girls who stand first, fight hardest, always."

Rest assured, too, that "the girls" (a term both you and I have used with respect in this instance) are not finished fighting on this issue either.

Kudos to this woman for making the old bastids at least put a face to the issue. When they pass this ridiculous bill, though they will never admit it, some of them just may see her face in their minds right before they drift off to sleep one night.

She should not have had to tell her story and relive the pain associated with it, but I am glad she was willing and courageous enough to do it.

[libdem4life]

14. Soon we'll have Cruz or Pat Robertson claiming they are telling lies, just to

get attention and pity. Strangely, that's what young girls often hear (even their mothers and family) when they tell their stories...so, they are shamed and don't want to add that to the list of emotional cannonballs.

[Liberal_Stalwart71]

15. Since she's a Democrat, it won't matter. She'll still be demonized and torn apart.

[mountain grammy]

16. I am humbled by her courage and eloquence, but also furious

that any woman has to do this in a public forum to shame these goddam men who want to do nothing but control women out of some sick sense of their bullshit morality is disgusting.
Oh America, you are hanging yourself.

[tblue37]

23. And you KNOW she will be hounded, abused, and subject to threats of violence online,

and someone will dox her so she can be harrassed IRL, too.

One reason women don't tell their stories is that they are all too aware that there are people who will judge them and, even worse, some who will threaten them or even actually come after them if they tell about their sexual assaults and/or abortions.

It is a very risky thing to do. The representative was truly courageous to expose herself to such risks to help other women.

[daleanime]

17. The fact that it needs to be said....

is disgusting. And leaves me worried about how many will even listen to her.

[brooklynite]

18. Thinkprogress has corected the headline

"Lawmaker Says She’s ‘Sat Here Too Long,’ Discloses That She Was Raped And Had An Abortion"

[Gore1FL]

22. Changed it at least.

She is a congresswoman in the Ohio State House--the state congress.

[bullwinkle428]

19. More guts than all of her Republican cohorts put together.

[riqster]

24. Tough as nails. Good on her!

[gregcrawford]

26. The bottom line is...

... that sanctimonious old men have NO right to use women's health and reproductive rights as a political football. Their brazen malice defiles every tenet of Christianity. Fuck 'em ALL!

[Thinkingabout]

28. Good for her in speaking up. Todd Akin did not know what he was talking about.

[Ezlivin]

32. Claire Underwood

If any of you are watching "House of Cards" you probably thought of what the vice-president's wife went through when she made her announcement.

This is much better because it's reality. Go Ms. Fedor!

[blackspade]

36. Ohio State Rep. Teresa Fedor (D)

[Dont call me Shirley]

37. Teresa, I stand with you. I applaud your courage. I honor your experience.

I also was raped and grateful that I did not get pregnant from those terrifying experiences. I could not have had a legal abortion at that time. I would have either had to have an illegal abortion or carry a pregnancy to term.

Women should not be forced to carry pregnancies that they do not want, much misery comes from this for the mother and a lifetime of misery for the child.

Theses women haters need to be swarmed by so many women (and women-loving men) at once that they would run and hide in a deep hole for the rest of their life in utter fear from trying to force control (which is rape in itself) over another human being.

Sorry for the run on sentence. And I'm certainly sorry creeps like this exist, shame on them forever.

[Hekate]

39. KnR

[greatlaurel]

47. Representative Fedor is a very courageous woman. She is one of the very few in the Ohio legislature.

Ohio has been taken over by the willfully ignorant and the criminals who have purchased the Republican Party. Ohio is in very bad shape. The GOP are destroying public records to cover their tracks without anyone in the media saying a word about it. The public property purchased by public tax dollars are being stolen and given away to the people who pay for their elections.

These criminals cover their tracks by proposing the most dangerous legislation in the country. The legislation to prevent access to health care for woman and prevent voting by the poor and people of color are all designed by ALEC to keep attention away from the theft of public funds and property by the rich people and corporations who have paid the Ohio GOP to stay in power.

http://www.ohiohouse.gov/ron-hood/press/rep-hood-applauds-passage-of-house-bill-69-the-heartbeat-bill
Rep. Hood Applauds Passage Of House Bill 69, The "Heartbeat Bill"
March 25, 2015
Someone has to speak on behalf of the more than 57 million unborn US children who have been legally killed since 1973, and the millions more who will die if elected leaders don’t stand in the gap for them,” stated Rep. Hood. “Rep. Christina Hagan and I are so grateful to the many Ohioans who have tirelessly supported this effort to protect babies who are obviously living, obviously people, because they have a detectable heartbeat. It is my prayer that this bill will encourage the culture of life to continue to grow.”

He opposes spending money to take care of children, the disabled and the elderly . He worked for the National Right to Work Committee. He votes against unions at every chance. He votes for every corporate welfare program the GOP and ALEC dreams up.

Hood came to office owing more than $100,000 in debt.
"According to records from the Pickaway County Court of Common Pleas, Ron Hood has been sued by Citibank, Discover Bank and American Express on at least five separate occasions for unpaid credit card bills totaling over $100,000.

In multiple cases Mr. Hood failed to properly respond to the court after being served with paperwork. The lawsuits, filed in 2010 and 2011, resulted in rulings in favor of the banks with the court issuing judgement liens against Mr. Hood for the unpaid bills along with interest as recently as May 2012."
http://www.plunderbund.com/2012/10/08/republican-house-candidate-rod-hood-sued-for-massive-unpaid-credit-card-debt/

Has he paid off these debts on his state legislator's salary? If the news media looked at this guy closely, they would no doubt find all kinds of corruption. Unfortunately, the right wing owned Ohio news media does not care about corruption. They only approve of people like Hood who claim to care about fetuses before they are born, but refuse to spend a dime to help them once they are born. This bill is just another smoke screen to keep people from focusing on what is really going on in the Ohio State House.

[ladym55]

52. Good job!

Thanks for pointing out what a bunch of corrupt bozos we have in the state legislature in Ohio. We need to keep doing that over and over and over.

"Pro-life" Ohio legislators support life from conception to birth. After that? Meh. Be hungry. Be poor. Not their problem.

[Enthusiast]

48. K&R! This post should have hundreds of recommendations!

Come on, people!

[rhett o rick]

51. Bravo. K&R Thanks for posting. nm

[heaven05]

53. to most repubthugs

in her state legislature, won't make a damn bit of difference. They have no empathy, compassion or guts. I applaud her courage.

[Skidmore]

55. I think that because those sitting in that chamber are likely

not to give a care, this woman's words and action should serve as a call for us to rally and get her back. We need to stand up. Putting people in office and not giving them the backing is what is hurting us. It also is what gives teabaggers the wind in their sails, because those who put them their will repeatedly get their backs. The effect is evident because a minority has such a grip on power now.

[heaven05]

56. truth

we have to start raising some hell on all levels, national and local.

[packman]

57. If one remains silent on hearing an injustice being done

they become part of that injustice. Bravo to her. It seems that fools propose such things because they expect silence. Voices need to be heard.

[DirkGently]

61. Proud to be rec #200! n/t