Why do you think parking is such an emotional issue for so many people?

[bluestateguy]

I am genuinely asking.

Britt McHenry's meltdown with a towing company was actually all too common, as people have been known to go batshit crazy when their cars are towed. Parking tickets, car boots, or the difficulty of finding a parking space, can make some normally placid people wildly angry and irrational. Years ago my father and I were Christmas shopping and we saw two grown women get into a fistfight over a parking space.

Have sociologists or psychologists ever studied this?

[arcane1]

1. My guess: cars turn people into individual countries, with the car as their national border.

Sovereignty and territory get an enhanced and exaggerated importance.

[Thor_MN]

2. Part of it is territorialism.

It would be difficult to find real estate less useful to you than a parking space you are about to leave. But a study showed that people took longer to vacate a parking space if there was someone waiting for it. They timed people leave a store and found that they took more time to get their car out of the space if there was another car waiting for it. And even more time if that car honked. People will defend land that they have already decided to give up.

My personal observations is this behavior is worse in more affluent shopping areas and worse with holiday shopping. I live in a fairly blue collar suburb, but work in one of the newest, whitest collar suburbs. Parking is far more competitive near where I work. Getting that spot two cars closer to the store, even if you have wait far longer than it would take walk the distance is a big deal.

[gvstn]

7. I had a friend in college who would circle a parking lot until she got a spot

In the first couple rows near the door. 20 year old very healthy young woman.

We friends would ask, "Why not just grab this spot here and walk, it will be quicker than circling around looking for a better one"? Her reply, "I don't have a car so I can walk"!

She didn't say it in a mean way but that was her justification. We though it was funny until it was a time that it took 20 minutes to get a close enough spot.

[alphafemale]

13. You are going to walk a half mile or more in the WalMart.

What is the big deal about being 50 ft closer to the doors outside?

[gvstn]

17. It was nuts!

But, I swear she almost always got a close spot within a minute or two. I guess it is a mindset thing.

I just pull up towards the end of the lot and am happy that it is no problem for me to walk.

[steve2470]

72. I sometimes park a tenth of a mile away practically....

I HATE HATE HATE HATE circling rows looking for a parking spot ten feet closer. I don't get it. I'm very healthy and don't need to be super close. I park quickly and walk a bit further, which is good for my health.

Did I mention how much I despise spending ten minutes of my life looking for a super close parking spot ?

[brewens]

52. My girlfriend gives me crap for doing the opposite. I drive a full sized pickup and always go for

the quick and easy park job, hopefully pulling through so that I'm in the next isle facing out so I don't have to back out. Better yet if I'm right by the cart return too. I go for the quick gettaway as well. I'm in the store before another guy looking for a little closer spot. I'm saving the steps of having to wheel my cart over to shove it in the return spot too.

[ProfessorGAC]

59. Cart Return

That's me in a nutshell. I don't care how close to the store i am. I want to be near the cart corral so when i'm done it's a quick task to ditch the cart and get home.

And since most of the corrals are farther out from the store, then i park farther out from the store.

On top of all that, i've had MS for 20 years and am eligible for the handicap sticker, but i don't want it. I still get along just fine and i'd hate to see a wheelchair van looking for a spot just because it saved my 100 slightly uncomfortable steps.

[MadrasT]

73. That is exactly what I do. Quick, easy, near a cart return.

Also, places I go to frequently, I always park in the same general place (so I don't have to remember where I parked - because it's the same place I always park). It's easier to do that reliably if that space is so far out that nobody else uses it.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

12. I've been sooooo tempted to double park one of those lingerers in and say "I'll be back ....

.... in ten minutes since you don't seem to be in a hurry"

Maybe it's the way I was raised but I would never tie somebody up if I knew they were waiting for the space. I've even pulled out of the way in to a no parking zone to make a call or do something else if I have someone waiting.

[LeftinOH]

68. Public transit is so liberating, if you live where it works.

I take the bus to/from work almost daily. It's gotten to the point that the when I actually have to drive, I feel like I'm encumbered with this giant/expensive/high maintenance machine which often costs money to park somewhere when I'm not at home.

Unfortunately, many millions of suburban Americans live in car-dependent communities where driving is the only option.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

74. I'm a contractor so I'm always zipping around town with drywall and lumber and tile and concrete.

One of my employees was in the front car or an "L" train the other day when somebody apparently decided to end it all. My guy was pretty shook up - I guess it was horrific. The driver was really torn up too.

I'm a stone's throw from the "L" so I wish I could use it more. It was really convenient when I had an office in The Merchandise Mart.

[Art_from_Ark]

19. If I am ready to leave and see someone waiting for my parking space,

I'll hurry to the car and vacate the space as soon as possible.

Heck, if I see someone cruising around a full parking lot and I'm ready to leave, I'll try to let them know that my space will soon be vacated.

[Dorian Gray]

26. I'm the same way

though with a child/car seat/packages/it might take a little time to get moving. I'd do my best to hurry. If they HONK at me, though? Stall city!

[stevenleser]

69. People actually honk to try to get people to hurry up and expect a good outcome?

I haven't owned a car in close to 15 years now. I think I have forgotten all the crap.

[Oktober]

43. To a point...

However, the first time they honk at me to hurry up is the exact moment that it's time to check my phone for a bit.

[tblue37]

44. Same here. I think some people are more attuned to our species' cooperative tendencies while some

are more influenced by the competitive, hierarchical elements in our nature.

In fact, I think that is a main difference between liberals and conservatives. Liberals see more (perhaps most) people (and even animals) as belonging to their circle of concern, while conservatives draw the circle around a much smaller group. Most people who would deliberately delay a stranger over parking would nevertheless hurry to vacate the space for someone they knew, as long as they considered that person family, friend, neighbor (unless they dislike their neighbors), friendly acquaintance, or colleague. But a stranger is not part of their "us" circle but rather one of "them," so the person feels no moral obligation to refrain from making a stranger's life harder, much less to do anything to make it easier.

[Jackpine Radical]

51. You are absolutely correct.

There is quite a bit of evidence showing the truth of what you say.

It also seems that "they" are more motivated by fear, and "we" are more motivated by empathy & compassion.

[brewens]

53. Using an ATM with someone in line behind me, I jump in as soon as I have my cash and pull foreward

immediately. Then I'm out of their way and I can organize things and put my seat belt on and all that before I drive off.

[Warren DeMontague]

22. If someone honks, it's a passive aggressive "fuck you" response, obviously.

sometimes people are just being jerks, taking longer.

There are, however, legitimate reasons why someone would be more careful backing out, with a car waiting right behind them.

Of course, I'm one of those eminently decent folks who acknowledge the person who is waiting for the space, and try to communicate that I'm on it and moving out of the way as quickly as I safely can.

[Chathamization]

33. If there's another car nearby I'm going to move more slowly than if the lot is empty

It's simply a matter of safety - the more stuff around, the less visibility you have, the greater the chance that something will move in an unexpected way, etc.

[Thor_MN]

35. Uh, OK?

Not sure how a vehicle waiting for a parking space impairs one's visibility in any significant manner, or makes something less certain. In fact, I see it as as more controlled situation. If I know there is a car there waiting for the spot, it is less likely there will be a car zipping down the row as I back out. The car blocks an amount of row, announces that the spot is going to be taken, and while it can't be relied on, a second set of eyes with a better viewpoint is watching the process of backing out.

Not sure what the lot is empty means - if the lot is empty, why would anyone wait for a spot that a car is in? That situation really eliminates itself from consideration.

[Chathamization]

37. No, cars might be going around the waiting car, pedestrians you can't see might be behind it,

it could decide to give up waiting for you and try to look for another space, etc. The comparison to an empty lot is that obviously you are going to be leaving your space more quickly when there's less going on and fewer objects around you. I don't think it's a terrible thing if people move more carefully when there's more stuff/more happening around them.

[Thor_MN]

39. Irrelevant observations

Pedestrians are a separate consideration, one might have said flock of baby ducks, or a herd of elk might in the row. One always has to look for them.

Since you missed it , I'll reiterate, a car waiting blocks A PORTION of the lane. A car could go around the waiting car, but they can't go through it. There is a portion of certainty, there was a car waiting as you entered your car, if it didn't cross as you got into your car it is likely still there as you go to back out. As opposed to knowing nothing as you start to back out. You still have to check for it as you back out.


The study I mentioned did not look at empty lots as it would be quite ridiculous for a car the be waiting for for the only spot that isn't empty. What you say is not wrong, just irrelevant to the study and the question of the OP.

[Chathamization]

48. The waiting car blocks visibility. It also doesn't give you any certainty, since it can decide to

move at any point if it gets tired of waiting for you or sees a better spot open up or remembers it left the oven on at home. By contrast, having no car around means that once you pull out enough, you're able to get a decent view of your surroundings and have a good idea of whether or not there is another care that's coming around or pedestrians about to walk behind you. A waiting car makes that difficult to see on one side, and adds an unpredictable actor to the mix, and forces you to move in a way you might not have chosen to (planned to go left but the car is waiting on the right? might have to rethink things).

These aren't enormous problems, but if someone takes an extra 10-15 seconds pulling out of a space when there's more stuff happening, I'm not going to assume they're a jerk who's just trying to piss people off. It's pretty much a rule of thumb in driving that you move slower when there's more stuff going on than when there isn't as much stuff.

The study I mentioned did not look at empty lots as it would be quite ridiculous for a car the be waiting for for the only spot that isn't empty.

Eh...

The comparison to an empty lot is that obviously you are going to be leaving your space more quickly when there's less going on and fewer objects around you.

I'm not talking about people waiting for a space in an empty lot. I'm saying in an empty lot (with no one waiting for your space), you're obviously going to pull out faster than in a packed lot. In a lot with few people you're going to pull out faster than in in packed lot, and it doesn't surprise me that you're going to pull out faster when there isn't a car on one side of you than when there is one. Less stuff around you means less stuff to worry about.

[Thor_MN]

70. Your observations have NOTHiNG to do with the study I cited.

Do you understand you are injecting conditions not involved with the study? They were not studying empty vs. full lots. Your argument may as well be what if the lots were full of penguins.

Please, take as much time to as you feel you need to not be fearful of your surroundings. If you feel the need to argue the conclusions of the study, I suggest finding the originals authors and take it up with them. Good luck, I read it 15-20 years ago. I"m not going to spend any more time on your thoughts why it isn't valid.

[tblue37]

40. I think territorialism is a big reason, but here's another. Our species has a dominance hierarchy,

so forcing someone else to wait for you, like forcing someone to wait ON you, is a dominance display. In his Theory of the Leisure ClassThoorstein Veblen (who coined the concepts and terms "conspicuous consumption" and "conspicuous waste&quot said that status is displayed by demonstrating the ability to waste time and wealth. Those who can also waste the time and wealth of others have even more status--and the more people whose time you can waste, the higher your status.

That is probably why the people in affluent areas are worse than working class shoppers about deliberately extending delays. Of course, the brawls over parking spots are also evidence of an outraged sense of entitlement among the affluent.

Veblen's theory also explains why people deliberately hassle servers in restaurants for ridiculous reasons. It is a dominance display both because they can order ther server around and she/he must scramble to satisfy even absurd demands, and also because that is a way to waste the server's time. Less affluent people who crave a chance to display status use such circumstances as an opportunity to do so.

In the US this sense of entitlement (also manifested in claims of US exceptionalism) is so pervasive that it seems a part of our national character. As someone once said, American voters vote in favor of the wealthy because rather than think of themselves as working class (which most so-called middle class really are now) or as poor, they think of themselves as "embarrassed millionaires," or at least as persons whose ship will someday come in--perhaps with a lottery prize or in some other unlikely way.

I think that all too common impulse to display status through obnoxious assertions of dominance is encoraged by our popular culture, our politics, and of course by the media that so powerfully shapes both.

[ieoeja]

49. I often do that. Because the car waiting is either in my way, or blocking my view.

I have to take more care getting my car out of the spot.

[Codeine]

3. We've mythologized the car into a symbol of absolute freedom

and are quite predictably shaken when we feel that sense of freedom being encroached upon.

[kelliekat44]

8. and power. nt

[Throd]

4. Not to defend McHenry, but the towing industry includes some of society's biggest scumbags.

[bluestateguy]

6. Yes

If Britt hadn't attacked the woman's weight and her appearance, I would have fully supported her.

[Jester Messiah]

36. Professional thieves. [nt]

[Iggo]

50. You got that right.

I used to repo cars for a minute back in the 80s, and we were nothing more than car thieves with a permit.

[cwydro]

5. People even get (undeserved) handicapped placards

just to park close to wherever they're going.

My mom is 88, bent over and SHOULD have one, but she refuses to do so.

Me, I'm one of those who parks WAY in the far BFE of a parking lot just because 1) I don't have to wait; 2) I like to walk, and 3) O can always find my car. I also always park next to the cart return...easy peasy.

It amuses me no end how people who probably pay for gyms etc...will knock each other down just to avoid walking a few steps further.

[Dorian Gray]

27. I always try to park as far as I can

to walk a bit extra, as well.

I assume most people with the handicap placards had to prove their handicap, so I don't judge if they look healthy. You don't know what it might be.

[CTyankee]

34. Hey, I do the same regarding the cart return! I dearly hate to walk the empty cart a long

distance from my car and then walking back. So even if it is a bit further in terms of the car parking space I like just unloading and giving the cart a push into the cart return.

[tblue37]

47. I have a needed handicapped tag, since I use a cane and walking can be slow and painful

for me, and sometimes I "lock up" for a while and can't walk at all for a few minutes.

But I have good periods and bad ones, and often I can walk well even without my cane, though I always keep it within reach even when not using it, since I can find myself desperate for it at any time, no matter how well things have been going.

When I have been walking well enough--with or without my cane--on a given day to feel safe doing so, I deliberately park some distance from the store so that I can enjoy the opportunity to walk, despite having a handicapped placard.

[cwydro]

71. ...

[gvstn]

9. Tow bills are expensive.

Plus you feel "trapped" and out of control. I've had a few times where I really couldn't find my car in the parking lot. I thought it might have been stolen and I got a little twinge of panic. Not panic about calling the cops and insurance company, panic that I was suddenly stranded with no power to get home. Of course, I would eventually get home but that was my gut response. So, I can sympathize with the towing anger.

Finding a parking spot is no big deal but a few times at some sort of neighborhood festival where there is really no parking to be found for over a mile no many how many times you circle around the streets it can get frustrating.

[kelliekat44]

10. People not only feel that way about their cars. They feel that way about the road in general.

They try to make sure you don't change lanes even with your signal on. They will honk their horns and give you the finger when you're backing out of crowded parking lot rather than stopping to allow you to back out safely. Americans in general are self-absorbed asses. To be otherwise is the exception, not the rule.

[bigwillq]

11. I have such awful road rage

and I am sure I sounded like Britt McHenry on occasion. Not defending her actions, but it's like sometimes I become a totally different person when driving. It's like I am possessed. LOL

I need to work on my road rage/anger management when on the road. LOL

[Whiskeytide]

45. Me too. I think it has something to do...

... with objectifying the car. It's not a "person", it's a freaking RED BUICK!!!!!!

I try to console myself that I only lose it with the most abhorrent or inattentive drivers - and I have almost never had an actual exchange with another driver. But I knew I needed to tone it down a few years back when my 5 year old said from the back seat "Come on, stupid lady, the light's green!!"

[oldandhappy]

14. I am one of those.

There are people I do not go see any more because there is never parking in their area evenings or weekends and I have had to turn around and go home without the visit. I have missed awards ceremonies for friends because there was no parking within six or seen blocks of the event. I have bad parking karma! I am not irrational. This has all really happened. And I wasn't late!

We have a lot of vehicles. We have a lot of roads. We have endless parking lots. The earth is being cemented over. We need personal jet pacs!

Parking is an emotional issue for me because of the personal things I have missed as a result of no parking. I try to think about this and approach things I want to do in new ways so as not to get caught. I allow lots of extra time and take a book. I make medical appointments for the middle of the day. I am fortunate to have this flexibility. I try to do shopping on line and to go out in the morning for groceries to avoid the parking nonsense later in the day.

At some point it is fair to ask if there is any reserved parking or to ask if I can ride with others and pay the parking for all of us. Next week I will take public transport to a daytime event.

Sociologists and psychologists are great but maybe we need different techniques in city planning or different specs re the number of parking places developers are required to provide. Most apartment complexes have one space per unit and we know that is not realistic. Ahso, guess this pushed a button!

[MH1]

46. You end with the solution - public transit.

Unfortunately many places that have the problems you describe, just don't have viable public transit options.

Instead of more concrete and asphalt, we need more public transit, and to improve the incentive/disincentive ratio for using public transit.

[Arugula Latte]

15. Millions of tiny power plays, happening daily...

[backscatter712]

16. Like they said in Pulp Fiction.

You don't fuck with another man's vehicle.

It's just against the rules.

[OriginalGeek]

18. It's emotional for me because

EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT WRONG.

[Warren DeMontague]

20. Let's be honest- it fucking sucks to have your car towed.

Which is not to say there's never a reason, but.... it sucks.

[kcr]

21. Most people manage to get emotional and upset without getting abusive n/t

[rainbobryte]

23. Double parking is ....

EVIL!!!!

[Codeine]

25. I actually had to look up double parking a few years back.

I've never seen it happen on the West Coast, though it looks like it's become a problem in SF.

Who the hell does that? The entire concept is alien to me.

[betsuni]

24. Because SOCIETY CAN'T FUNCTION LIKE THIS!

[Buzz Clik]

28. First, I'm pretty certain that it wasn't "parking" that pissed her off.

Ever have your car towed? Did you enjoy trying to figure out where the hell your car was, the long ride to the impoundment lot, and the $100 charge? It's more than just getting emotional about parking.

I am in now way justifying her insulting and childish behavior, but she was having a REALLY bad day.

[TransitJohn]

29. Because people are lazy and entitled?

[Nye Bevan]

30. Another reason why Amazon is great.

No circling around looking for a parking spot.

[pinboy3niner]

31. It's not parking that's special

It's the narcissistic self-importance of people who think THEY'RE special and briste at any inconvenience to them, while remaining blissfuly oblivious to others who may be suffering the same inconvenience. The others aren't important and they don't count. Entitled narcissistic privelege at its finest.

[sendero]

38. You can see from her words..

... that she felt superior to the attendant and that therefore she should not have to suffer the indignity of having her car towed.

Additionally, if she didn't feel entitled her car would not have been parked in a tow zone to begin with.

If you don't want your car towed, don't park it illegally and don't park it on signed private property. Easy peasy. I've never had a car towed for a parking issue. It hasn't been that difficult.

[Hoyt]

32. If you've ever had your car towed, you know why some folks might melt down.

It's going to cost you a bunch to get it out, the impound site is probably in the most environmentally compromised part of town, you'll be treated like a mass murderer, and worse.

Now fighting over a parking space is different, although I get this:

[randome]

41. Because driving itself is stressful and we are overpopulated, which adds to the stress.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]All things in moderation, including moderation.[/center][/font][hr]

[ProdigalJunkMail]

42. parking around here sucks not so much because of towing

but because of the self important assholes who think the lines in the carpark apply to everyone but them. they will straddle two parking spaces (hell, MORE if they can) and just not give a shit. oh, and the raging assholes who park in handicapped spots that just don't need them. oh, how i wish they would be ticketed and towed on a frequent enough basis to cut down on the practice...

sP

[brewens]

54. I have a problem with people I consider to be "fatdicapped" getting handicapped parking priveleges.

I mean when you see them waddling just fine and their weight appears to be the only issue. If anything, when they apply, they should be given a permit forcing them to park in designated spots on the edge of the lot!

[Sheldon Cooper]

55. Wow - nasty.

I hope you never need that spot.

[brewens]

57. Oh. I'm fat btw but I'm not about to use that to try and get a handicapped permit, that would make

lazy too. And I'd be taking a spot away from someone that really needs it.

[Sheldon Cooper]

58. I'm fat too, and I don't use that to get a handicapped spot either.

But I don't criticize those that do, and I sincerely doubt you have the magical power to determine that fat appears to be their only medical problem. Don't need the spot? Don't use it. But don't presume to know the medical history of complete strangers. You may be fat yourself, but your prejudice is showing.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

61. i am a fat guy...

but would never consider getting a handicapped placard because I waddle a little. heck, i make it a point to park FARTHER away... every little step helps.

sP

[brewens]

65. I was kind of kidding anyway about the spots at the edge of the lot. We're supposed to be jolly the

last I heard. I try anyway.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

66. yeah... i gathered

but i do walk a ways in parking lots unless it's raining. like i said, every little step counts.

sP

[Orrex]

56. I managed a fast food restaurant in downtown State College PA in the early/mid 90s

We had a HUGE sign warning that we would tow non-customers' cars from our small parking lot. Every weekend during football season we would tow between 40 and 50 cars, typically after we'd documented the cars being in the lot for several hours.

And every weekend I received unambiguous death threats from people outraged that my company didn't volunteer to subsidize their parking.

I was always amazed at the sense of selfrighteous entitlement that these people displayed.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

60. I have a psychological theory about this. Some people are just assholes.

[Backwoodsrider]

62. handicapped parking has gotten better in Oregon

Last few years doctors have had to show more justification for giving someone a handicapped parking placard so less people get them who are just lazy. I am in a wheelchair and when I drove a van going to Walmart was like going to war. A wheelchair van needs an extra wide parking spot so the lift will come down and allow me to wheel out so I cant just take any old parking spot. I used to drive into the lot and see all the handicapped spots full and just pull over and wait for one to open up and hope another handicapped driver doesn't beat me to it. Lost count of the number of times someone has stole a parking space because they were closer. Sometimes then they get out and don't appear to have a problem with mobility and I might just say too bad and go to the edge of the parking lot and take up 2 spaces so my lift would come down. Other times I would use them parking there as a reason to release a little angry energy. As some in DU have already told me I have a little problem with my attitude and go off sometimes. If I feel motivated I quietly drive up and roll the window down and very seriously say "you know that sign says this parking spot is for the physically handicapped not the mentally challenged" and watch for their response. Have gotten a few looks back that make me smile even now, I am going to carry these to my grave.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

63. I remember when parking was emotional ...

... because of who I was parking with.

Do people park anymore? The center console seems like such a buzz-kill.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

67. that center console is a bitch!

but, yes, people still park. and if you're old enough to need a minivan for the kiddos... kick 'em out and go park with your significant other

sP

[One_Life_To_Give]

64. The urban animal: population density and social pathology in rodents and humans

http://www.who.int/bulletin/volumes/87/2/09-062836/en/

Unwanted social contact occurred with increasing frequency, leading to increased stress and aggression. Following the work of the physiologist, Hans Selye, it seemed that the adrenal system offered the standard binary solution: fight or flight.2