I Am Done... so Done

[ScreamingMeemie]

From the hollow French flag overlays on Facebook profiles (many of whom spit on France for not partaking of an illegal war) and (probably never really uttered ) Twitter "prayers" to local news with the sick need to find a "local connection" to the "tragedy" (of COURSE there are going to be students abroad studying over there--it does not make their status any greater than that of a French citizen in the wrong place at the wrong time), I am so done with the marketing of terrorist attacks, plane crashes, mass shootings, etal.

Slacktivism and news reporting have reached such lows, and I can't take it anymore.

DONE.

(and don't get me started on demands for loyalty from moderate Muslims...)


Have a nice day DU.

[NRaleighLiberal]

1. I was thinking that this afternoon while out working in my yard.

I can't even come close to putting into words how sick this all makes me feel.

It's the culture everywhere - easy platitudes, pictures with memes, it is everwhere - FB, LinkedIn, Twitter - everyone rushing to find the right words, clever words - but it is all in the anonymous world of the web, in the comfy chair with the laptop.

Very little is making any sense at all to me today...

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. This...

...it has become so much about self instead of community.

It's not making sense to me either.

[NRaleighLiberal]

9. .

[Blue_In_AK]

12. This is how I feel,

which is why I posted about the suicide bombing in Beirut a few days ago. I saw no overlays on FB profiles or prayers for the innocents who died in that attack. Our outrage is so selective and hypocritical.

[malaise]

84. I've had them off most of the time

It's unbearable. I'm beginning to wonder if the candle and flower industry are now part of the business of slaughter everywhere.

[TeeYiYi]

18. Except for...

...your epic tomatoes. You DO have E.P.I.C. tomatoes.

re: "Very little is making any sense at all to me today..."

TYY

[mike dub]

31. Same here over in northern Durham County, NRaleighLiberal.

The easy platitude that got me this morning was: "We're all Parisians now". That's well and good but that phrase (Location: fill in the blank) seems cheap after hearing it for the fiftieth time. Anyway, that's just me - mileage may vary / void where prohibited.

[yeoman6987]

53. What do you want people to do?

Go to war?

[NRaleighLiberal]

56. reflect. spend time thinking. the opposite of today's narcissism.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

86. Or, we can express solidarity. I am French with family over there.

I was worried, and I have a French flag.

Oh well ... I guess people have to piss in cheerios for every little thing.

Anyway, I'm in Durham but work in Raleigh.

[NRaleighLiberal]

87. The point some of us are trying to make is eluding

You and some others here.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

89. It's quite possible.

It's been a stressful couple of days.

[LiberalArkie]

2. I think I get it, I could be wrong present working with 1 or 2 brain cells functions . But I think

I agree that the "only time people come out of the woodwork is when it is expedient to show support for someone" I am right or working on too few brain cells?

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. Yes...

When it gets them a little attention or a pat on the back. It's become so much about pontificating over empathizing.

[valerief]

3. Yep. Everything is fiction. nt

[randome]

4. The Digital Age magnifies the inferior. We need to filter our sources.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]"The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it."
Tony Randall, 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)[/center][/font][hr]

[flamingdem]

5. Good quote. Or maybe the mediocre

but we're stuck with an increasing population and a culture of look at me. Everyone has to market themselves, promote themselves, it's tedious. At the same time it's fantastic because when so many are contributing information is available, filtering has to be the answer.

[randome]

15. 'Mediocre' is a better word.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Where do uncaptured mouse clicks go?[/center][/font][hr]

[oberliner]

7. Tony Randall is an actor

The quote is by the character of Dr. Lao.

[randome]

16. I know. It's one of my ever-changing signature lines.

Not meant to be part of the discussion, just a random snippet of inspirational jargon. Like this one:
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Where do uncaptured mouse clicks go?[/center][/font][hr]

[Elmer S. E. Dump]

24. Are you saying Tony never said that?

[Tanuki]

70. Dr.Lao is a fictional character, so they weren't really his words, either.

If you want to quibble over the quote, why not credit Charles G. Finney, the author of the book, The Circus of Dr. Lao, on which the movie was based? I haven't read it, so I don't know if those exact words were in the original text, or were adapted by the screenwriting team, which also included Charles Beaumont and Ben Hecht.

[oberliner]

72. Exactly

But the actor who played the role definitely should not have the quote attributed to him, in my opinion.

But you are right, it is just a quibble.

[melman]

6. Right. Not like this is a big deal or anything

and not like it happened less than 24 fucking hours ago. It's high time people just shut up about it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. ***whoosh***

Nowhere did I tell anyone to "just shut up about it."

It needs to be discussed. It needs to be reported on. It does not need to be about individual attention. It does not need to be about superficial acts.

I hope that makes it clearer for you. If you are not participating in "prayers" and posting about how you know someone who knew someone who talked about someone or demanding our fellow citizens who happen to be Muslims to comment on it, you can disregard this thread.

[melman]

32. Nope, no woosh

When you write "tragedy" like that it really says a lot.

[ScreamingMeemie]

38. Total whoosh... it was an act of terrorism, not a "tragedy."

If you can't read through that word thrown out by local newscasters, I can't help you.

[MADem]

29. That's not what the poster is saying. It's like making everything about MEEEEEE instead of giving

a shit about what was going on to the people in the thick of it.

Let me try to give you an example--I have a niece who IS in Paris right now--she's there on business, and it's kind of a big deal for her career, without going into details. I was on the stupid facebook giving her the virtual pat on the back (Yay, we are so proud, etc.) right before all this carnage went down. When the bad news hit, I shit bricks and got back on the facebook to check her status (she very thoughtfully put one up immediately saying "I am fine and was no where near any of the danger areas&quot and we all said "Thank heavens! Stay safe!" and moved on.

I could have spun that into a big old thread about MEEEEEE and my FEEEEELINGS about my CONCERNS, etc., but really--it's not about MEEEE, it's not about my lucky, safe niece, and it IS about a hundred plus grieving families who have to bury their dead and a city that is traumatized--rightfully so, too.

I mean, "I" give a shit about my niece, but she's fine, in her hotel, with her travel companions, and she's OK. It's not about her, nor is it about me. But that is how we tend to process stuff these days--proximity gives people a wrong idea that they have ownership and speak for the pain of those who have been affected, when they don't.

Mourning, or even reflecting on a tragedy, has somehow turned into a team sport.

[Ineeda]

33. Here's another example:

My cousin Lynne has three grown sons. One lives in Boston, one in Alexandria, one in Manhattan. On 9/11/01 one son missed his flight from Boston to LA -- guess which one. Another son's roommate/best friend had a business meeting at the Trade Center. The roommate/friend died. The third son is a firefighter who pulled dead bodies from the Pentagon. We were (mostly) all traumatized by 9/11, and perhaps she was more than many, but she never misses the opportunity, still, to make it about her trauma, even more than the actual families of the vaporized or otherwise dead. There's an element of competition to this phenomenon.

[ScreamingMeemie]

39. You've got it. That's where I was going with this thread.

No telling people not to talk about it.

[muriel_volestrangler]

65. Have you said this directly to the people whose Facebook profiles you feel are hollow?

If so, what was their reply?

[deathrind]

57. It's the same thing with injuries/pain.

People do it all the time. If you get hurt/injured it never fails that someone will ask you what happened and after telling them they will be like "Oh that's nothing you should have seen the time I had..."

[davidpdx]

62. The OP should put that in the top of the thread

(with your permission of course) since it provides a solid example of what he is talking about.

[TeeYiYi]

10. It's the digital equivalent...

...of taking a casserole or some funeral potatoes to the house of the bereaved. I think it comes from a place of sincerity.

On the other hand, social media has always been a transparently superficial medium..., never more so than now.

TYY

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. I do...and I don't.

Are people horrified? Yes. Do people feel a need to address it? Definitely. Does the fact that Texas A&M students were in Paris make it more horrible? No. It's become like entertainment. I don't behoove people their very real feelings of empathy, but so much of it rings so very false and churned out for the masses. We know this already. I just hit my breaking point today.

[TeeYiYi]

17. I hear you...

Social media is an artificial construct, to be carefully traversed and avoided for the most part. People who live on twitter and facebook seem to be so addicted to attracting interaction from their 'followers' that they're compelled to pathologically post a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. for a "like."

I understand your breaking point.

TYY

[murielm99]

30. I bring food because I want to do something.

Often, it is the only thing I can think of to do.

We found out less than a year ago that it is appreciated and needed, for the grieved and for those wanting to help as well. Even if they can't eat, they remember the gestures.

I have made sure to make more of those gestures in the last year. I will not forget.

What can I do for France? Nothing. But I grieve for them.

[LiberalElite]

34. I think it's a nice, caring gesture -

you may have heard of this - "Funeral Potatoes" is a classic Mormon dish for post-funeral gatherings :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funeral_potatoes

[KamaAina]

19. That's one of the most righteous rants I've read on DU in quite some time!

And yet some meatball alerted on it. It did, however, get smacked down 0-7.

As for the damned flag overlay, it is chewing up my FB feed.

[maryellen99]

22. I have one but I always thought the French did the right thing when it came to Iraq nt

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. Of course they alerted on it.

People tend to like to read more into something these days (again, bringing their "own" thoughts into judging what it is I am saying).

Hey you...

[KamaAina]

61. All I get is a smiley face?!

[BigDemVoter]

82. You are definitely correct on this. . . .

Alerts can go out, even on the most insipid and vapid posts, as people try to read more into what they "perceive" than what is actually written. I am certainly NOT advocating any violations in terms of service, but there have been quite a few unsubstantiated alerts as of late.

[maryellen99]

20. I don't this much anger and sadness over the London bombings in 2005 nt

[Lucky Luciano]

23. Social media was still in its infancy back then! nt

[Donald Ian Rankin]

64. The death toll was less than half, and it was bombings rather than shootings.

I think it's more disturbing to imagine people deliberately murdering innocents one at a time by pointing a gun and pulling a trigger, than it is to imagine a single non-personalised act of mass murder by blowing yourself up.

[Cheese Sandwich]

21. +1

I can't even watch it.

[alcibiades_mystery]

25. I take people at their word that they care about an event and want some connection to that

I find your viewpoint very cynical. OK, so fine, overlaying the French flag on a picture of yourself (or something else) doesn't cost you anything. So what? It's a small gesture of one's humanity. Is it the only appropriate gesture? No. Is it merely a gesture? Yes, probably. Again, so what? It is a human gesture of horror, shock, sadness, feeling. It is a connection to others. So this manifests itself in some symbols that you view as insufficient. Too popular. Schmaltzy. Maybe that's your issue.

Now there's the scolding that nobody overlaid the Lebanese flag over their Facebook profile for the Beirut bombing, so of course anyone who feels anything about the Paris attacks is a hypocrite and a Eurocentric racist, who doesn't care about brown people, or some such. Do y'all Tragedy Scolds even hear yourselves?

People see something horrible, and show sadness, and human connection, and the Tragedy Scolds have a thousand and one complaints and critiques. Sometimes I wonder whether people develop such a feeling of superiority over others that they think they're the only one's who can actually feel. And when others manifest feeling - gasp! in public, collective ways! - it enrages them.

[pintobean]

26. +1 Great post.

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. You can be not done with it. Me? I'm just done.

I'm not scolding anyone for being horrified. I am horrified myself. I am commenting on how I can be horrified and not place myself at the center of it. I think many are missing the point here.

[pintobean]

45. But you are placing yourself in the middle of it

with this 'better than thou' bullshit. How is your OP any less 'look at me' than someone on social media overlaying a flag on their profile pic?

[ScreamingMeemie]

46. No, I'm just done. This is what is called venting.

Have a nice night.

[pintobean]

47. But, you're not really done.

You keep replying. You have almost four hours invested in being done.

[alcibiades_mystery]

54. You deeply misunderstand the forums, genres, and medium you're criticizing

You find that people on Facebook are "putting themselves in the center" of a tragedy? The whole point of Facebook is to communicate your own response to things, to manifest and express. For better or worse, but honestly, to critique Facebook for being too self-focused? It's a complete misunderstanding of the forum.

Ditto local news: it has only ever related to world historical events by tying them to local contexts. That's the only thing that differentiates local news from national or international news when it comes to such events: here's how we're experiencing this world historical event in Peoria. Of course, you might argue that then they shouldn't cover the world historical event at all. Fair enough, but that's always how local news has operated.

There is certainly misunderstanding here, but it's mostly on your end. The more interesting question, I suppose, is what motivates your misunderstanding.

[Hugin]

50. For the first time ever, I put an overlay on my FB profile... EVER.

Why did I do it? Because, I've quite frankly had a belly full of this BULLSHIT.

I'm eternally hoping that, maybe... JUST MAYBE. This will be the event that turns minds. Maybe peace will break out. The poor and infirm will find their place set for them at the table. That what is good will overcome that which is bad.

Here, I log in and find that my contribution is not good enough... MORE! MORE! MORE! I'm not sad enough or effected enough.

My only reply:

Every beach is made of grains of sand.

Thanks for your kind words, alcibiades_mystery. My contribution is not a total loss.

[alcibiades_mystery]

52. Yes yes yes yes!

A thousand times yes! I've had a belly full. A gut full. I'm sick to death of this shit, and we feel totally impotent but we feel, dammit.

People will turn their noses up at anything, I suppose. But that doesn't make them right.

You feel something, and you found a way to show others that you do. Never apologize for that.

Let the cynics sniff.

[snagglepuss]

58. Great post. 'tragedy scold". thats a keeper.

[frogmarch]

92. Wow! Great post! Thanks for it. nt

[BlueJazz]

27. But Wait! There's More!...if you call within the next 15 minutes, we'll...

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

28. "Slacktivism" - nice word.

I've never heard that one before. It seems very appropriate word for a lot of what happens on Facebook. I say filter your Facebook, minimize your friends list, and only check it once a day. That's the only way I've been able to deal with that website. I don't even do Twitter. One social networking site is enough for me.

[Duval]

35. We turned off TV and began playing music.

I actually got inspired by the guy who dragged the piano out in Paris and played Lennon's "Imagine". We've been enjoying music all afternoon, when I can tear myself away from DU!

[ScreamingMeemie]

42. I often take long breaks from DU.

It is good for my blood pressure and my sanity. It sounds like you had a really nice afternoon.

[DRoseDARs]

36. Get off your high horse, we need to make glue...

Funny, we've yet to see a picture of you bringing the fight to ISIS. Have you signed up for military service so you can hunt ISIS? Are you in Paris right now helping the wounded? Or are you just too busy bitching about how others choose to deal with events? You should probably stop sporting a Green Bay Packers avatar too as I'm 100% certain you don't play for them, you only seek a local connection and to market your support.

[ScreamingMeemie]

43. That wasn't the point of my initial OP.

But okay. Have a nice day.

[shadowmayor]

37. War weary world

Thank you for your post. It's disheartening that while some tragedies elicit our compassion and sympathy, for a vast majority we just shrug our shoulders; if even that. That the terrorists are responsible for their despicable acts should be clear. That we as a nation have brought about so much of this suffering seems lost on some.

An analysis by Iraq Body Count and co-authors published in 2011 concluded that at least 12,284 civilians were killed in at least 1,003 suicide bombings in Iraq between 2003 and 2010. The study reveals that suicide bombings kill 60 times as many civilians as soldiers. And it has gone on for five more years and yet . . . Not once did I ever hear: "We are all Iraqis today". Que WTF? These are quite conservative numbers.

That's about 75 Oklahoma bombings on a death toll basis over an 8 year period.

When will we all be Syrians? or Kurds? or Nigerian? or . . .

[Arugula Latte]

44. I changed my FB profile pic. to "show support."

Yeah, I know it's useless and futile. It won't prevent anything, or change anything. I did think about "what am I trying to say?" by doing this. Then I just thought, you know what -- fuck it. I just want to express sadness and let any French people know I am thinking about them. I'm one of millions doing these silly little acts, and I just wanted to do it. C'est la vie.

[REP]

48. I did, too. My friends in Paris liked the gesture.

As the saying goes, it was literally the least I could do after I found out everyone was okay, but it made at least three people happy.

I also signed up to give blood if B- is needed.

[tavernier]

49. Me too.

I don't think one day of world wide Internet exchange of grief, emotions and support makes us all a bunch of disingenuous lemmings.

[Pacifist Patriot]

66. I agree with you and think people who dismiss it or are offended by it are missing the point.

Flag overlays are not attention seeking, and no it doesn't really accomplish much in the long run. But it is a way for sympathetic people to show others that they care. Sometimes that's all we're in a position to do. If it's a flag overlay on a Facebook photo instead of a hug, does it really mean any less when you are thousands of miles away? My friends in France reached out to me to tell me they appreciated it and felt better knowing so many people were also emotionally affected and cared about what happen in their country. Anyone who tells me it's hollow or meaningless can kiss my derriere.

[Arugula Latte]

74. Yes, that's how I saw it.

My French friends aren't on Facebook, but I have Facebook friends who have many friends and family there, so when I post on their pages my little icon will be seen by people in France, and that is something. It's not much, but at least it's something.

Another thing I just thought about: I remember how horribly the French were treated by so many Americans during the Iraq invasion. Of course France was right to oppose it, as we on DU did. And now look what has happened. OUR country's actions have undermined the Middle East and led to the creation of ISIS and thus the carnage in France. So anything Americans do to support the French is a good thing, in my book.

[Warpy]

51. Asra Nomani on Real Time made a very important point about moderate Muslims

When we ask "where are they?" the answer is most likely "in prison."

Moderates in the Middle East have been under attack for a long time due to the toxic ideology exported by the Saudis.

You want to know the root cause of ISIL? The Saudis. Stupid's colossal fuckup only lit the fuse a little early. The bomb was already primed and ready to go off.

[Octafish]

68. Saudi Roils worry that Shiite majorities all around them will want a piece of the revenue pie.

"Sharing" isn't that high up in a prince's to-do list.

[Blue_In_AK]

90. I have a lot of contempt for the Saudi rulers

and regime. They get to finance all the bad guys in the world and yet remain America's "allies." What could possibly go wrong?

[Skittles]

55. f*** social media

I consider most of it superficial garbage

people would never have even considered sending a postcard back in the day to most of their FB "friends"

[CrawlingChaos]

59. Something I saw on Facebook that reflects my cynicism

[img][/img]

[snagglepuss]

73. Bullshit. All you have to do is look at the massive response to

the massive tsunami 10 or so yrs ago not to mention the Haitian disaster, to name just two instances of people responding to others regardless of race or religion.

[Arugula Latte]

75. Right.

I donated money (not much, but a little) to charities helping people in both those disasters. I didn't think "Oh, they're black/Asian and I'm white so I'm not relating to them." ... Not at all.

[Coventina]

77. Agreed. This assuming the worst about people's motivations is what leads to dehumanizing them.

Which then leads to "justified" hatred and "justified" killing of them.

Resulting in attacks like those in Paris.

Undoubtedly the attackers did not see those they were killing as people like them. They only saw heartless imperialists who blaspheme their god and religion. So therefore, they deserve to be killed at dinner.

[Blue_In_AK]

91. Perhaps people aren't as cynical about those sorts of tragedies,

and more willing to care, because they're natural disasters and out of the ordinary. So much killing has been going on in the Middle East and Africa for so many, many years, we western people don't even think about them anymore, much less care enough to show solidarity. (Who to be "solid" with, right?) But when a terroristic mass killing happens in a modern Western city - especially a killing carried out by fanatical people from this religion and culture already distrusted by westerners - then people suddenly care about the slaughter.

I don't begrudge people sympathizing with Paris, I think we all do, but the problem is so much bigger than this one act. No easy answers.

[CrawlingChaos]

93. No bullshit

It is demonstrably true to say that selective outrage is a very real phenomenon with regard to terrorism. How can you possibly argue otherwise?

The American public has blithely turned a blind eye to the suffering of very real human beings in the Middle East for many long years now. In this instance you had the stark parallels of nearly concurrent suicide bombings in Lebanon and Iraq that, predictably, were met with no outpouring of compassion by the American people.

I don't even know what to say here ... this is all so clearly self-evident.

[F4lconF16]

60. And none of them pause for even a moment for the dozens killed in the rest of the world. nt

[Tipperary]

63. France is our oldest ally.

I have a friend who is French, though she does not live in Paris. She is touched by the solidarity she has seen on social media. Symbols may only be symbols but they do make an impact. I have spent time in France and I love that country. One of my relatives was wounded on its shores in World War 2.

I am proud to fly the French flag on my facebook page and I will continue to do so. So you have ranted that you do not like facebook support for France. Good for you. You must feel very superior to the rest of us now. I do not have the "hollow French flag overlay" on my page, but I do have a tribute to France there.

I have no patience for the sick need of our media to find "local" connections to this tragedy either, but I think the news coverage is important and necessary. People need to wake up and see what these terrorists have in mind for all of us.

You sound horribly jaded. I am sure sorry for you. As long as I live and no matter how cynical I may become, I will still have a heart and feel deeply for those who have been so badly hurt. "Hollow French flag overlays". Wow, how do you know what anyone's connection to France may be?

Take a shit on the news media if you need to, but leave the rest of us alone.

You have a nice day too.

[edhopper]

67. you echo my thoughts

thanks

[Tipperary]

71. You are most welcome.

Vive la France!

[edhopper]

78. nous somme tous Francais.

[Tipperary]

81. Oui.

[Quantess]

69. Strange interpretations you have of peoples' reactions to the tragedy, in my opinion.

When it comes to paying extra notice to victims who were citizen of one's own country, you seem to have the idea that Americans are more egregious about it than in other counttries.

Here's an insight for you: it isn't just Americans who pay extra attention to their fellow citizens' deaths, in catastrophies abroad. Anyone who thinks so is obviously an american who hasn't spent much time abroad.

All nationalities pay special attention to deaths of their fellow citizens.

[Coventina]

76. Maybe you should get away from social media for awhile?

Also, you seem to claim to know a lot about the inner motivations of those you criticize.
Maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt?

And, just a word about local connections: one of my own students is in Paris right now. I was worried sick until I got an email from her yesterday afternoon. I guess my sense of relief that she is OK shows that I'm a self-centered, horrible person?

[Catherina]

79. It gets worse. But hang in there please

It gets worse. But hang in there please. Please?

Take me now sweet Lord.

[MowCowWhoHow III]

80. #sadnessinhiseyes

Sky News presenter Kay Burley mocked for tweeting a picture of a dog in Paris with the caption 'sadness in his eyes'

[BigDemVoter]

83. Another similar version of this phenomenon. . . .

is the thought that affixing bumper stickers, "Support Our Troops", is actually doing just that.

[NRaleighLiberal]

88. Yes. Exactly.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

85. I am French, I have family in Paris and I was worried for them.

I have my overlay for my own personal reasons.

I am with you, though, on the demands for Muslim loyalty. Just sickening.

[Lodestar]

94. The GOP doesn't even trust their OWN party, demanding loyalty pledges

from them as well.

They are fear based and don't trust anyone....an enemy around every corner.