Said on the Tee Vee

[Scuba]

Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump is still under fire for mocking a reporter with physical disabilities. Trump told his supporters, "Don’t worry, I’ll soon do something worse and all this will be forgotten."

Forecasters say El Niño should bring much-needed rain to California. Meanwhile, Donald Trump said if elected president he won’t let El Niño into the country.

In Beijing, because pollution has reached 35 times the safety level, children have been ordered to stay home. This could mean a delay for anyone who ordered a new iPhone.


James Corden

Paul Ryan, the new speaker of the House, showed up to congress with a brand new beard. Now incidentally, Paul Ryan is also the first politician in 100 years to have a beard that isn't his wife.

[valerief]

1. Spot on!

[2naSalit]

2. It's become evident

that the (R)s are freaking, which means the 'et tu Bute?' moment is upon us. Statements of this type are emerging like the knives... they want him gone, he escaped the reservation and is openly scoffing at them as well. Everybody knew he would a few months back when they made him promise to behave. The problem is, he has his own funding so nobody can just turn off the cash to shut him down nor will the fuxnuz circus unplug him due to the revenue he generates for them.