Bride won’t sign prenup, throws ‘wedding party’ for poor kids instead

[n2doc]

Yiru Sun was radiant in bridal white Saturday — even though she had called off her wedding at the last minute, instead turning her reception into a feast for the poor.

The pretty Manhattan insurance executive was supposed to tie the knot in a lavish Upper East Side wedding Saturday. But after balking at the proposed prenup, she turned her heartbreak — and her non-refundable $8,000 reception deposit — into something beautiful: a luncheon for 60 needy kids and their families.

“I should have been the bride. It was canceled,” Sun told her guests at the elegant Harold Pratt House at East 68th Street and Park Avenue. “Initially I felt frustrated,” said Sun, a vice president at New York Life Insurance, declining to dish about her former betrothed, not even to name him.

“I don’t want to sign things I don’t feel comfortable with,” is all she’ll reveal of the prenup dust-up.

“Three weeks later, I woke up with this idea,” Sun, herself a single mom of a 6-year-old daughter, told her guests, who were chosen with help from The Salvation Army and Inwood House.

more

http://nypost.com/2016/05/08/bride-wont-sign-prenup-throws-wedding-party-for-poor-instead/

[oldandhappy]

1. wonderful lady!!!

[Baobab]

18. She's a lady for our times! K&R!!

We're gonna make our world great.

By reigning-in -greed-.

I can see why he did it but it seems he turns out to have been an idiot.

That man lost out on a wonderful lady.

I hope he sees the error of his ways.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

2. K&R a 5th rec for publicity

[Person 2713]

3. Congrats on your party smart and kind person who knows how to turn negativity around to a +

Someone untrusting and greedy lost out on you

[Marie Marie]

4. I always admire those who truly can take lemons and turn them into lemonade.

Good for her.

[Hortensis]

34. Yes. Class act all the way.

Including to refuse to dish her ex even though apparently the break was complete.

[rock]

5. As Lefty was so fond of saying, "The way I like my steaks!"

"Well done!"

[warrprayer]

6. BRAVO!!!

Dammit...

[LiberalFighter]

7. Good for her not being pressured.

[C Moon]

8. Amazing!!!

[forkol]

9. It would be interesting to know what exactly....

She didn't like about the pre-nup.

Given her status, and probably her ex-fiancee's status, it was probably a good idea to have one. As a matter of fact, she should have had one too.

And, I don't understand comments about how she was 'forced' or 'pressured'. She didn't like the terms, and didn't sign. Good for her, I say.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

10. The late date at which the prenup was presented is pressure and then some

But there seems to be some mixup, perhaps on both sides, but we can't know or judge without more information.

Ideally, prenups would be discussed before dates are set and deposits paid.

Perhaps they were, and the groom presented (and insisted on) a clause that had not been discussed and was unacceptable.

Perhaps they were not discussed before, and the agreement was unacceptable.

[Hekate]

14. You're on to something. He may have wanted her to sign away basic dower rights...

...strictly out of his own selfishness. It's been known to happen. Presenting it at the last minute was probably his way of ensuring she would feel it was too late to back out of the wedding plans without massive humiliation/loss of face -- but surprise surprise, she called his bluff.

I think she showed considerable guts and class, under the circumstances.

You have to wonder what sort of prenup The Donald has his serial wives sign....

[elias7]

11. Young 1%-er in a useless exploitative industry

Sorry, not impressed. Insurance companies are vultures. She makes way too much money for the work that she does.

[Hekate]

12. And you know this about her -- how? Your response is rather mean spirited.

[Marr]

66. The same way you knew what the groom's motives were. /nt

[UtahJosh]

13. *ALL* insurance companies?

You think the entire industry is exploitative?

[fasttense]

15. In most , not absolutely all, cases insurance is a scam

Life insurance in particular is a scam. If we all were well off, we would Not worry about leaving money behind for our loved ones. If we all were financially secure, the loss of a loved one would only be an emotional loss.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

17. "not being well off" is NOT the fault of the insurance company. They provide a service.

However, that said, it must be noted that insurance is a fundamentally a bet against yourself. If it is just money, then the insurance company wins because they reap the vigorish. For them a payout is just money. But if a payout would prevent a greater catastrophe (such as spouse having to go back to work or children losing a chance at university) then it is a good deal for both sides.

In other words, a service.

[Baobab]

19. My departed relative who was a bigwig in the one most visible to NYCers said something similar

not in so many words. She kind of said (at least this is how I read it) that insurance's main social function was in creating an illusion of security, which I read as meaning to help the economy, so people would buy more stuff and think they could insure against calamity, when in fact nobody can.

Health insurance in particular is a major scam on the country. Its major function is to coerce our country and others into our rigid and broken model for health care and other services, and keep healthcare and drug prices propped up to unsustainable levels and create an excuse to deprive all but the very rich of the cost saving benefits of modern science - totally inexcusably because we could literally give everyone health care for free for what the government pays already (literally 2/3 of every health care dollar is already paid by the government)

We do what we do to force other countries into adopting our broken model so they make similar mistakes too, and its based on lies.

[TacoD]

29. "Neddy doesn't believe in insurance. He considers it a form of gambling."

[Plucketeer]

22. I know of another gal, less ethical

She's engaged to the health insurance industry and does whatever they ask of her. Geez, how I wish she'd call off the impending wedding. but after the DNC's spent SO MUCH MONEY and SO CAREFULLY SCRIPTED the gala event, that ol' common sense ain't got a chance.

[Jackie Wilson Said]

26. This massive conspiracy to destroy Hillary Clinton is amazing.

[Plucketeer]

30. Sorry - your allegation falls short

I'm no conspirator - you want to envision a conspirator? Bring DWS' image to mind. But then place me 180 degrees from her. Last I heard, we can develop opinions of our own AND share them.

[Baobab]

38. You have it backwards

For example, where does her real health care plan fit in?

Isn't it arguably the other way around?

[Jackie Wilson Said]

39. So Trump is better on this?

[Baobab]

43. I just offered you proof that the health care plan she claimed was helping us was in fact a cover up

of a global scheme to make health care impossibly expensive.

that has nothing to do with Trump.

[Jackie Wilson Said]

44. So, Trump is better on this? That is your alternative, so where do you stand?

[Baobab]

46. I wont vote for crooks

[Jackie Wilson Said]

47. You will be voting for Drumpf....You can lie to yourself if you like.

By not voting or voting 3rd party, you are voting for the end of life on the planet.

I know who I will blame.

[Baobab]

49. Sorry, I wont vote for crooks

You blame yourself for this mess, I have NOTHING to do with it.

[Jackie Wilson Said]

51. No, anyone who will not vote for whoever the Democratic candidate is, will have blood on their hands

[riderinthestorm]

73. Voting for Hillary or Trump ensures ecological disaster. Bernie or Jill Stein are aggressive

on climate change.

Anyone who votes for Hillary will have humanity's demise on their conscience.

[PufPuf23]

53. The folks that do not want Hillary Clinton are mostly individuals.

If there is conspiracy, the conspirators are the economic and political establishments that have all but insured Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee and then POTUS.

You are hearing many voices against an entrenched and corrupt status quo.

If you do not see the obvious, you are either delusional or dishonest.

To not want Hillary Clinton does not imply at all that one favors the GOP or Trump or third party.

Hillary Clinton has more in common with the GOP and neo-conservatives than the many individual voices from the Left.

Hillary Clinton rejects liberals and now looks to moderate GOP that favors the Bushes for votes and financial support.

Hillary Clinton looks to burn the liberal base of the Democratic party.

[Jackie Wilson Said]

54. If you are sincere, you show a very immature knowledge of politics.

[PufPuf23]

58. More like tired of a choice between the horror that is the GOP and the weak sauce provided by my own

party.

cut to PM

I am not one iota naïve nor immature and I am sincere.

Unfortunately, I have grown old and have poor health but my mind and experience are intact.

[Dont call me Shirley]

74. And we're intending to Bern the liberal base of the D party :-)

[Berniesupporter101]

68. What conspiracy?!

The only conspiracy I see is the conspiracy to destroy Bernie Sanders!

[zappaman]

67. Thank you for stepping up and making sure there was not ONE thread on DU that didn't bash Clinton.

Whew...that was close!

[LanternWaste]

23. You should of course, inform her where she should be working and how much she should be making...

You should of course, inform her where she should be working and how much she should be making... else we may be tempted believe you have no idea what you're talking about, and that you speak merely from a position of ignorance.

[1StrongBlackMan]

27. Touched on, yesterday ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=7817201

[mainer]

35. she's an immigrant who grew up poor and also a single mom

Does that make her at least somewhat worthy of compassion in your eyes?

[Baobab]

45. She sounds like a person who has got inner strength and moral values

unlike the 2 presumtives

[La Lioness Priyanka]

50. with only an $8000 deposit? i dont think so.

[msanthrope]

69. You must be so fun at parties. nt

[Surya Gayatri]

16. Gutsy, classy lady, turning her unhappiness into a happy day for others.

She will certainly find a mate more worthy of her generous heart.

[Baobab]

20. Thats what I was thinking. And they will be happy together.

Money isn't everything or even most of anything.

[Plucketeer]

31. Wife and I celebrate 31 years of wedded bliss today (5/9/'16)

Neither of us ever thought about a pre-nup. And so far, we've not longed for one.

[Hekate]

59. HE wanted it. What was HE trying to hide? What obligation was HE trying to avoid?

Why did HE spring it on her at the last minute?

[Deadshot]

21. The headline should read: "1%er does something unselfish for once".

Eh. If it was truly unselfish, she wouldn't have circulated this all over the media.

[LanternWaste]

33. No more and no less than your response accurately advertises your own character

No more and no less than your response accurately advertises your own character. Unfortunately.

[Deadshot]

37. I'm not the one running out to the media showing everyone I do nice things.

I'm not vain like that.

[mythology]

48. No, your vanity is in telling somebody their good deed doesn't count

Because it doesn't meet your arbitrary standard. Very different I'm sure.

[Deadshot]

62. Again, I don't go out telling everyone how nice I am.

I just do. I don't need recognition. I don't need everyone to know how nice I am.

If you can't see the difference, I feel sorry for you.

[Stonepounder]

24. As I read through the comments on this thread

I was struck by the fact that while the Republicans seem to blame the poor, the Muslims, the illegal immigrants, and so on for all of today's ills; there are many here on DU who want to blame the rich in exactly the same way.

Yes, we have a problem with wealth inequality here in this country and yes capitalism seems to be running out of control, but to blame every single person who has even the slightest appearance of being a high-income earner for our ills seems to be no better than blaming all Muslims for the terrorism of a few, or calling every poor person lazy.

[n2doc]

25. +1 n/t

[1StrongBlackMan]

28. Touched on, yesterday ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=7817201

[Stonepounder]

56. Missed that one. But yes, I agree with your comment. n/t

[JI7]

64. i think that is especially true

when it comes to a minority that may have it .

[1StrongBlackMan]

75. Do tell ... JAG and I have caught some special DU hell.

[mainer]

36. She wasn't even born rich. She's a single mom and was a poor immigrant

who happened to achieve success the hard way.

But jealousy does cloud the minds of those who didn't "make" it.

[dembotoz]

32. love smove at the end of the day a wedding is also a legal transaction with ramifications

sometimes a clear head is a good thing

[Hekate]

60. Amen. It is a legal contract with a slew of rights and obligations woven in.

My gods, people can be blinded by resentment and envy as much as -- or more than -- love.

[mainer]

40. I found her CV. She's an impressive woman.

Starting with a poor upbringing in China.

Anyone who's jealous of her being a 1 percenter should think about the fact she started off with a lot less than you did, yet still managed to be successful. Maybe instead of attacking her, you should think about your own failings.

Academic field: Princeton University PhD (obtained in 2008), majored in Electrical Engineering, minored in Operational Research and Finance Engineering. Outstanding research achievements evidenced by 15 publications during 5-year PhD study on top-most journals in the world, including two 1st-authored publications on NATURE. In addition to publications, obtained 6 patents filed through US Patents and Technology Office. Major research works carried out in the field of Organic Light Emitting Device (OLED).

B.Sc Degree obtained in Physics major. Studied in BioEngineeringn Dept for 1 year in Rice University, with 3-month internship in Baylor College of Medicine, Texas Medical Center.

Specialties: Finance field: Corporate Finance & Financial Reporting; Statistical Methods & Probability; Financial Mathematics; Stochastic Modelling; Financial Economics; Economics.

Electrical Engineering: Organic semiconductor design and fabrication; Organic Light Emitting Devices structure investigation.

[n2doc]

41. Very smart woman

I guess she decided to go the make money route instead of the struggle-for-years-to-land-an-academic-job route. I can't blame her for that.

[GliderGuider]

55. She is one heavy hitter.

The few lines about her Princeton PhD gave me chills.

[ReRe]

42. K&R

That beautiful young lady also has a beautiful mind!

Congratulations, Yiru. I am so happy for you and your dear daughter.

I do so hope that other young brides hear this story and remember it should they end up in the same horrible situation.

[packman]

52. Bravo, little lady with a big heart

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

57. Lovely.

[whereisjustice]

61. Good for her, an act of kindness like this can be contagious. A small sliver

of humanity. Too bad her awareness is wasted in a soul sucking, middle class destroying industry like insurance.

Many would have been too embarrassed to do what she did.

It's his loss. Hope she dumped him for good.

[Berniesupporter101]

63. Her husband is an idiot

He missed out! However, I'm almost glad he didn't marry her, because then she wouldn't have the type of man she deserves. I hope she has some high standards! She deserves the best. From a woman. Ps. This lady would make a better president then Hillary.

[sarisataka]

65. I don't know whether she got her money

By having it handed to her, inherited, fall out of the sky at her feet or by working her ass off to earn it.

What I do know is her generous act shows way more class then those who criticize her for spending the money on those who truly deserve it rather than just throwing a party for rich friends.

So what if she gets publicity? Maybe it will make a few other of the 1% decide to follow in her footsteps and show generosity rather than greed.

[warrprayer]

70. Well said!

"There have been a variety of definitions for the term ren. Ren has been translated as "benevolence", "perfect virtue", "goodness" or even "human-heartedness".[9] When asked, Confucius defined it by the ordinary Chinese word for love, ai, saying that it meant to "love others".[10]"

- Wikipedia

[ProgressiveEconomist]

71. Why's SHE paying

for the reception if he's so wealthy he wants a prenup?

[Amimnoch]

76. Probably following the archaic tradition of bride and family paying.

Ridiculiously outdated practice imo, but still pretty common.

Stems from the days, really not that long ago, when women were treated even more like property and livestock than they are today.

It was a big part on why potential grooms had to ask the fathers permission to marry the daughter, even before asking the potential bride herself. The father had to provide the dowry and pay for the wedding and reception to sell his daughter off into a life of servitude to another.

[LiberalElite]

72. I'm familiar with Inwood House -

I worked there for a few years a couple of decades ago. It's a residence for unwed mothers and also provides foster care; at the time I worked there I'd say the average age of their clients was 15 y.o. At that time, one of the Bushes was on the Board of Directors.

[Odin2005]

77. 1%er pulls PR stunt, news at 10.

[mainer]

78. You call her a 1 percenter. I call her a hardworking single mom immigrant

who rose from poverty, got a PhD, has published numerous research papers, and has achieved much.

It's all about labels, isn't it, and the first label you reach for is automatically denigrating, denying the basic dignity of who the woman really is.

[Bucky]

79. Ignoramus forms opinion, doesn't bother to read the article first, not news worthy

Facts, bah, why bother with facts?