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uppityperson

(115,880 posts)
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:07 PM May 2016

Have you ever used a public restroom of the gender you don't identify with?

I have when the line to the women's is too long and there is none to the men's, or there's only 1 for either and the women's is in use forever.

I figure most duers are meh about it, but was curious.


72 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
Yes
63 (88%)
No
9 (13%)
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Have you ever used a public restroom of the gender you don't identify with? (Original Post) uppityperson May 2016 OP
Any port in a storm Vogon_Glory May 2016 #1
That about sums it up. Iggo May 2016 #7
Gotta Do What You Gotta Do ProfessorGAC May 2016 #10
Voted no, but I have aided and abetted, and have had to assist lagomorph777 May 2016 #12
Lol. Exactly. Hortensis May 2016 #14
If no one else can come in while I'm in there, yes. bjo59 May 2016 #26
If there is any woman who says they have not, then they must live a sheltered existence hlthe2b May 2016 #2
Those were my first thoughts and definitely my experience! n/t etherealtruth May 2016 #32
This. Never enough restroom stalls in women's bathrooms. I and other women have Nay May 2016 #36
Women overall don't freak out over this at all. Circumstance is key. Glassunion May 2016 #50
It happened in Europe several times... CTyankee May 2016 #3
I recall walking into a men's room once when I had to go, but the place reeked of urine. Vinca May 2016 #4
I often go to events that are mostly women csziggy May 2016 #5
Curious- why did they feel a "lookout" was necessary? Nye Bevan May 2016 #49
Most of the events were at venues where there were random people coming in csziggy May 2016 #58
Yes malaise May 2016 #6
I've been noticing a refreshing change in restrooms in some local venues lately. arcane1 May 2016 #8
Buc-cees in Texas has bathrooms like that, but Ilsa May 2016 #41
Back in the old days, in dive bars, approaching 2am. Iggo May 2016 #9
That's what came to my mind, too. prayin4rain May 2016 #45
I find that most dumpsters are unisex. Orrex May 2016 #11
Any port in a storm I always say Major Nikon May 2016 #19
The lights in the hallway were out I had to pee really bad tularetom May 2016 #13
I have been part of a group of women who took over the men's room mnhtnbb May 2016 #15
I have to take my handicapped mother into the womens restrooms all the time LostOne4Ever May 2016 #16
That's an aspect to these stupid laws that has not been discussed nt lostnfound May 2016 #17
Why not take her into the Men's room? Who would be offended? WinkyDink May 2016 #44
Because she insists on using the women's room. LostOne4Ever May 2016 #60
I too have helped my mother. gvstn May 2016 #47
My experience exactly. No-one really cares...except for fake outrage against transpeople nt LostOne4Ever May 2016 #61
Have needed to use women's rooms on rare occasion. Am male. Igel May 2016 #18
The first time I went to Germany the restrooms were marked H and D Major Nikon May 2016 #20
Emergencies only libodem May 2016 #21
I used to be a janitor. nt bemildred May 2016 #22
Male privilege 1939 May 2016 #23
When I was in preschool (age 4 or so) alice mauna May 2016 #24
Follow Scandinavian lead Emelina May 2016 #25
it's only an "issue" here for conservative freaks Skittles May 2016 #27
I HAVE USED A ONE-AT-A-TIME Jim Beard May 2016 #28
With a female escort or manning the door Sen. Walter Sobchak May 2016 #29
Yes. Nearly every time with a guy escort me in or standing outside if it had limited seats alphafemale May 2016 #30
no, however the female teachers at whistler162 May 2016 #31
Yes, mostly at National Parks where nobody gives a flying fig which one you find first Quantess May 2016 #33
Yes Dorian Gray May 2016 #34
I once shit in the Ladies shitting street in India. AngryAmish May 2016 #35
I have and the women's room always as better toilet paper. rug May 2016 #37
When ya gotta go, ya gotta go, and that's all there is to it. meow2u3 May 2016 #38
Yes... meaculpa2011 May 2016 #39
Yes, do it all the time at work. bigwillq May 2016 #40
Why do you suppose it's labeled "Women's"? WinkyDink May 2016 #43
Because society loves labels. bigwillq May 2016 #48
For approximately the same reason many water fountains were labeled "whites only." LanternWaste May 2016 #52
Yes---when it was cleared out. And I didn't pose as the opposite gender. WinkyDink May 2016 #42
Out of desperation. It's usually women who do this. mainer May 2016 #46
Of course. Most men's rooms have stalls. haele May 2016 #51
Yeah at work and someone is in the mens room Islandurp May 2016 #53
That sounds like a good plan! etherealtruth May 2016 #55
Yup. Adrahil May 2016 #54
i've used the men's room at bars before fizzgig May 2016 #56
Yes. greatauntoftriplets May 2016 #57
Why Yes... Not actually used, but toured! Xyzse May 2016 #59

Vogon_Glory

(9,592 posts)
1. Any port in a storm
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:09 PM
May 2016

Any port in a storm, especially when our own gender's toilet is broken or clogged up.

ProfessorGAC

(70,512 posts)
10. Gotta Do What You Gotta Do
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:25 PM
May 2016

At the golf course. Desperate need, men's room all tied up, not a woman anywhere around. No compunction, no regrets!

lagomorph777

(30,613 posts)
12. Voted no, but I have aided and abetted, and have had to assist
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:28 PM
May 2016

So have participated in some fashion in both directions.

I aided and abetted when I had a restroom key at work, but my visitor did not and the keeper of the keys wasn't around.

On another occasion I assisted in a handicapped situation.

Didn't enjoy either situation very much at all!

hlthe2b

(106,706 posts)
2. If there is any woman who says they have not, then they must live a sheltered existence
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:10 PM
May 2016

Almost every public venue has, for decades, had insufficient restroom facilities for the number of women--forcing lines of women to occasionally take over the men's, which predictably have few, if any lines.

Nay

(12,051 posts)
36. This. Never enough restroom stalls in women's bathrooms. I and other women have
Wed May 18, 2016, 07:34 AM
May 2016

asked for and used men's restrooms, usually with a kindly man outside to warn male users of the temporary takeover. It's always worked great.

Just recently I was washing my hands in a women's restroom and a man entered by mistake. He was so flustered it was funny --- sorry! sorry! he says, and I said, hey, it's no problem. Women don't freak out about this stuff very much.

Glassunion

(10,201 posts)
50. Women overall don't freak out over this at all. Circumstance is key.
Wed May 18, 2016, 11:14 AM
May 2016

Once while I was at a concert (heavy metal), I went to use the restroom. There was a standalone building with a large sign "Restrooms" on it. Over one door was a sign that read "Women", over the other door was an outline where a sign used to be. So, using my superior skills in deductive reasoning, I (a man), entered the door with no sign above it.

Upon entering I was greeted with a gasp or two, and a bit of yelling, ordering me to get out. It was at that very moment, I had noticed that the entire room was occupied by nothing but ladies (about 50 or 60 of them). Quite embarrassed, and without so much as a misstep, I had performed an about-face, and double-timed my ass out of there. As I approached the door that I had entered, I found that this door, as well as the one labeled "Women", both led into the same room.

My Jedi-like skills in deductive reasoning, failed to make up for my complete failure to apply inductive reasoning in the given circumstance. I ignored a 3rd possibility, that the men's room was on the other side of the building.

This is the only time, I've encountered any sort of response upon using the lady's room. When you gotta go, you gotta go. People generally get that.

Vinca

(51,208 posts)
4. I recall walking into a men's room once when I had to go, but the place reeked of urine.
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:10 PM
May 2016

Give me a ladies' room or give me green grass and shrubbery to hide behind.

csziggy

(34,189 posts)
5. I often go to events that are mostly women
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:12 PM
May 2016

And the ladies all get together and decide that as long as there is a lookout they would use the men's room, also, to reduce the length of the lines during breaks in the seminars.

Saturday I was at a fabric store and realized they had changed the sign for what had been a men's room. Now it is labeled for families, men, women, and handicapped. The women's room is still labeled as such, also handicapped.

Nye Bevan

(25,406 posts)
49. Curious- why did they feel a "lookout" was necessary?
Wed May 18, 2016, 09:55 AM
May 2016

What were they guarding against?

csziggy

(34,189 posts)
58. Most of the events were at venues where there were random people coming in
Wed May 18, 2016, 02:05 PM
May 2016

Vendors, participants' husbands, people to see the displays, etc. would wander in and out and also need to use the restrooms.

Most of the women were older and already uncomfortable about using a restroom designated for men. We're talking women anywhere from late 50s to 80s in age. Having a lookout, especially once the crowds thinned, made the women worry less about being found in the "wrong" restroom by a person of the sex it was designated for.

malaise

(278,677 posts)
6. Yes
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:16 PM
May 2016

We landed at MIA a little after mid-day one Thanksgiving - along with I can't tell you how many other flights.
The lines were way longer than TSA's lines. Women from everywhere were heading for bathrooms. We had to let the real emergencies break the line and then we started heading for the mens.

 

arcane1

(38,613 posts)
8. I've been noticing a refreshing change in restrooms in some local venues lately.
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:20 PM
May 2016

They'll have a large room of sinks and mirrors, and a row of individual restrooms, not stalls, for everyone to use. No more long lines!

Ilsa

(62,276 posts)
41. Buc-cees in Texas has bathrooms like that, but
Wed May 18, 2016, 07:55 AM
May 2016

they are divided into Men's and Women's bathrooms, even though it isnt necessary. Lots of fans, lots of high stalls down to the floor (cinderblock or tiled). I wouldn't notice if a man was peeing next door.

Iggo

(48,490 posts)
9. Back in the old days, in dive bars, approaching 2am.
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:23 PM
May 2016

And more often, when I worked graveyard at fast food joints.

The ladies room is much nicer than the mens room.

Orrex

(64,284 posts)
11. I find that most dumpsters are unisex.
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:28 PM
May 2016

But now that you mention it, it's never been an issue for me. When bathrooms have been gender-specific, I've always been able to use the one designated for my gender.

tularetom

(23,664 posts)
13. The lights in the hallway were out I had to pee really bad
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:29 PM
May 2016

So I just pushed open the first door I spotted. When I didn't see any urinals I knew I screwed up. I also knew I'd never make it to the men's room so I just went into one of the stalls, did what I needed to do, washed up and left.

As I left the ladies room who should I meet coming in but my sister (it was a wedding reception for one of our friends).

mnhtnbb

(32,131 posts)
15. I have been part of a group of women who took over the men's room
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:32 PM
May 2016

at a football game. The line for the women's was a mile long; no one was in the men's.

There were half a dozen stalls in the men's and we used them! Most of the women in line
did not follow us.

LostOne4Ever

(9,603 posts)
16. I have to take my handicapped mother into the womens restrooms all the time
Mon May 16, 2016, 02:36 PM
May 2016

[font style="font-family:'Georgia','Baskerville Old Face','Helvetica',fantasy;" size=4 color=#009999]On a few occasions when we were alone I have made use of the facilities after her...





LostOne4Ever

(9,603 posts)
60. Because she insists on using the women's room.
Wed May 18, 2016, 02:49 PM
May 2016

She believes they are nicer and cleaner overall. Though there was one time when the women's room was closed for some reason that she relented to using the men's.

gvstn

(2,805 posts)
47. I too have helped my mother.
Wed May 18, 2016, 09:49 AM
May 2016

Never once did I get so much as a glance from the ladies using the facilities. They peed with abandon beside my presence.

LostOne4Ever

(9,603 posts)
61. My experience exactly. No-one really cares...except for fake outrage against transpeople nt
Wed May 18, 2016, 02:52 PM
May 2016

Igel

(36,210 posts)
18. Have needed to use women's rooms on rare occasion. Am male.
Mon May 16, 2016, 03:45 PM
May 2016

Sent a female friend in to make sure the coast was clear, and to stand guard to warn any women that would be entering that I was in there.


Have seen women do the same sort of thing. Once went into the men's room and when I was leaving the look out said, "How did you get in there?!" The girl using the room promptly yelled, "You let some guy in!?"

SOP in dorms and college classroom buildings when bathrooms are locked for whatever reason or the attendance roster is really skewed.

Major Nikon

(36,911 posts)
20. The first time I went to Germany the restrooms were marked H and D
Mon May 16, 2016, 04:10 PM
May 2016

I didn't know which one I was and had to ask.

libodem

(19,288 posts)
21. Emergencies only
Mon May 16, 2016, 04:27 PM
May 2016

But I'm going to tell a story about my workplacw in the 70's. It was around '78 and the states were trying to ratify the equal rights amendment to vote it into the constitution.

4 of us worked graveyard, 3 men, 2 women. None of the men were particularly bright and 2 were practicing Christians. We were discussing how equal rights were going to destroy privacy in restrooms. It was an argument the Right put out there. Bathrooms would be unisex.

Our workplace had one employee restroom in the office. It was one at a time but both sexes used it. You couldn't let anything hit the water that wasn't heard, though.

So stupid. We all pee'd in the same place and lived.

 

alice mauna

(19 posts)
24. When I was in preschool (age 4 or so)
Wed May 18, 2016, 01:43 AM
May 2016

I got in trouble for going into the boys' bathroom (obviously I am a female here). Hey, I was curious--what can I say? I knew I was being naughty but I just couldn't help it!

Has anything fundamentally changed? I think not...

Emelina

(188 posts)
25. Follow Scandinavian lead
Wed May 18, 2016, 02:19 AM
May 2016

In Scandinavian nations the bathrooms are usually individual closets so this is not even an issue.

 

Jim Beard

(2,535 posts)
28. I HAVE USED A ONE-AT-A-TIME
Wed May 18, 2016, 02:51 AM
May 2016

women's restroom several times if I know it will not disturb anyone. Most people don't care, after all, what will one see?

 

Sen. Walter Sobchak

(8,692 posts)
29. With a female escort or manning the door
Wed May 18, 2016, 03:01 AM
May 2016

In all instances there was Larry Craig or drug activity in the men's room.

 

alphafemale

(18,497 posts)
30. Yes. Nearly every time with a guy escort me in or standing outside if it had limited seats
Wed May 18, 2016, 03:03 AM
May 2016

These things have stalls.

 

whistler162

(11,155 posts)
31. no, however the female teachers at
Wed May 18, 2016, 04:33 AM
May 2016

one of the schools I work at use the male teachers bathroom regularly. Single seating so it really doesn't matter..

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
33. Yes, mostly at National Parks where nobody gives a flying fig which one you find first
Wed May 18, 2016, 04:43 AM
May 2016

Park facilities, like, who cares?!

Gas stations maybe a handful of times.

Oops in a restaurant or bar, a couple of times

How many times have I just peed out in nature, in the shrubbery? 500.000 times, possibly.

Peeing next to a transgendered person? I'm sure it's happened, and I don't give a fuck.

Dorian Gray

(13,736 posts)
34. Yes
Wed May 18, 2016, 05:51 AM
May 2016

This whole argument is stupid.

Crazed child predators and rapists aren't going to be stopped by a bathroom sign.

People who concern themselves with this are inflating the issue into something more than it is.

meow2u3

(24,933 posts)
38. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go, and that's all there is to it.
Wed May 18, 2016, 07:38 AM
May 2016

There were several times I was forced to use the men's room because the ladies' room was full, the lines were snaking outside the rest room, and I had to go so badly I'd wet my pants if I had waited.

meaculpa2011

(918 posts)
39. Yes...
Wed May 18, 2016, 07:47 AM
May 2016

I wasn't wearing my glasses and wandered into The Ladies Room.

When I noticed carpeting, a chaise lounge and the absence of urinals I knew I was in the wrong place.

Got out quickly before anyone noticed.

 

bigwillq

(72,790 posts)
40. Yes, do it all the time at work.
Wed May 18, 2016, 07:52 AM
May 2016

There's a women's restroom just off the main office area. I dislike public bathrooms to begin with, and I like my privacy when I use the bathroom.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
52. For approximately the same reason many water fountains were labeled "whites only."
Wed May 18, 2016, 11:35 AM
May 2016

For approximately the same reason many water fountains were labeled "whites only."

mainer

(12,193 posts)
46. Out of desperation. It's usually women who do this.
Wed May 18, 2016, 08:29 AM
May 2016

Because there are never enough women's restrooms.

haele

(13,637 posts)
51. Of course. Most men's rooms have stalls.
Wed May 18, 2016, 11:19 AM
May 2016

Just walk in like you own the place, go into a stall, do your business, then walk out. Don't stop to chit-chat or look at anyone else. I've even seen a couple men make the bathroom door mistake when they were in a hurry - they just ran into a stall to relieve themselves, muttering "oops, my bad" as they do so, then ran back out after they were done. The only women who would have noticed were ones that were by the sink when they ran in (as I was both times), or at the door going in or out.

Common bathroom etiquette actually allows for mixed genders at a public restroom. Even though some people might make small pleasantries when walking into any public restroom facilities, no normal person ever makes direct eye contact; heck it's considered rude to even look at someone unless they're doing something odd. How many people actually want to remember the strangers they saw in a restroom?
Maybe if they noticed a cute pair of shoes, an article of clothing, or there is an "OMG, how did you get that great hair?" situation - but remember the actual person when you are more concerned about no one noticing that you're eliminating waste or trying to make yourself more presentable?
It's one thing if a group of you go into the restroom for a primping and catch-up strategy session. It's another when you run into the restroom because you really got to go...

Other than in North Carolina, the sign on the bathroom is more of a guidance than a law. As it is, in most places, the law only becomes concerned with restroom privacy or gender when there's harassment or a conflict.

Haele

Islandurp

(188 posts)
53. Yeah at work and someone is in the mens room
Wed May 18, 2016, 11:46 AM
May 2016

I'll be damned if I shit myself in front of my fellow employees.

etherealtruth

(22,165 posts)
55. That sounds like a good plan!
Wed May 18, 2016, 12:02 PM
May 2016

(using the available restroom in lieu of shitting yourself, that is)

 

Adrahil

(13,340 posts)
54. Yup.
Wed May 18, 2016, 11:54 AM
May 2016

Once the men's room was an absolute health hazard. The ladies room was much better. When you gotta go, you gotta go. TBH, sexy times were last thing on my mind at the time.

Xyzse

(8,217 posts)
59. Why Yes... Not actually used, but toured!
Wed May 18, 2016, 02:43 PM
May 2016

Buca di Beppo at one point had a policy of allowing men and women to go to each others' restrooms to appreciate the art work and pictures found inside.

So, being it my first time in that restaurant, I boldly strode where other men have gone before!

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