My brother came out ...

[aggiesal]

about 5 years ago, after our dad past away.

It was no surprise. We all thought he was gay, but we let him announce it on his schedule.
I love my brother. The 3 oldest boys shared a bedroom growing up.

He attended Notre Dame and studied Theology, I believe fully expecting to become a priest.
He never did.

Yesterday he posted the following on his facebook page:
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Today I did something I haven't done in church in a very, very long time. I took up the bread offering at mass.

And then I did something I have never done before. I immediately left mass, not knowing if and/or when I might return.

After a week of grief and vigils for the victims of the attack on Pulse nightclub last Sunday, I have been alarmed by the absolute deafening silence from the church not only in reaching out to the gay community, including those of us within the church, but also in addressing the role the church plays in fostering and creating the hostile environment that leads to the kind of persecution, dehumanization and marginalization our community regularly witnesses. Last Sunday's tragedy was just the extreme in a long history of violence directed at this community.

The church teaches that we are supposed to respect, love, and welcome all our gay brothers and sisters. To this day, I have heard only ONE pastor preach this from the pulpit. At the beginning of mass, we pray "that I have sinned.....in what I have FAILED to do." Today's was a missed opportunity, glossed over as if nothing happened last Sunday.

I thank God for the few lone voices of light within the church who spoke up in this darkness. Thank you Fr. David Garcia, Archbishop Blase Cupich of Chicago, Bishop Robert Lynch of St. Petersburg, and Archbishop Diarmuid Martin of Dublin, Ireland.

It was weird.....when I left church today, I felt a HUGE burden lifted off my shoulders. I didn't expect that.

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[RKP5637]

1. Sadly, so many churches practice hatred overtly or quietly. Good for him!!! n/t

[UMTerp01]

2. Thank you for sharing this

Thank you for sharing this. One of my friends, who is more like a little brother to me is struggling greatly with the Orlando shooting because he works as a youth coordinator for a Catholic Church. His parents are very religious and at first had a hard time struggling when he came out. He has been involved in the Catholic Church for years because of his parents.

He has been crying a lot since the shooting because he Is essentially been having an identity crisis and feels like he is helping to promote homophobia, hate, and violence. I mean the right seems so focused on "radical Islamic terror" but when Westboro Baptist Chirch and all the other Churches rooted in Christianity share the same sentiment as Islam about homosexuality, do we refer to them as "radical Christian terror"? So I feel for him. I do not believe in organized religion. I feel like it all perverts the word to keep the masses in line. I feel like it's incredibly hypocritical. I am spiritual. I think I want to believe there is a higher power, but there's a part of me that doesn't believe it and thinks it's all bullshit.

So I appreciate you sharing your brother's story. I will share it with my friend because I told him I don't know how to help him because I come from a place of bias when it comes to the Church and how I just hope my friend finds a way to reconcile his religion and being a gay man who can't be open about being in a relationship with a man due to his job. He feels like he has to hide that part of him, which is just not right. So yes there are a lot of layers to this issue and I send hugs to your brother for his strength.

[ciaobaby]

3. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful post from your brother.

Last edited Mon Jun 20, 2016, 01:37 PM - Edit history (1)

I remember very well the time I left mass and knew I would never return. That was over 30 years ago and my reason to leave was very different but it all has to do with the hypocrisy of the church.
Your brother is brave and smart and I admire his conviction.

[lunatica]

4. Most religions are abusive so it truly is like lifting a burden when you leave it

People who are religious don't realize just how abusive their religion is because they believe in a higher being. But the fact is, unless you're the perfect non-sinner who no one can be, then you're going to be punished for not being perfect. Although what constitutes being perfect is impossible to achieve. Or even describe for that matter.

Religion also instills a great fear of the afterlife which is designed to make you obey what church officials tell you to do. So religions are also control mechanisms, which is all part of what abuse is about.

[redstatebluegirl]

5. I had a "coming to Jesus" moment in College when I left the Catholic Church.

I went to mass in the 70's and for the first time I noticed how marginalized women were. I said "hey this makes no sense" and I left before communion and never went back. My uncle was an Abbot at a Catholic Academy in Illinois, he asked me once "when was the l last time you went to confession?" My answer was "A long time Father, and I have a lot to talk about". He was not amused, nor was my Father. Too bad, I had grown past the Church at that point. My Dad said "See this is what happens when we educate women"...yep Dad, that is what happens.... Truth.

[wryter2000]

6. Where does he live?

If he lives in a liberal part of the country, he might feel comfortable in an Episcopal church. We are very welcoming and affirming. I'm currently serving on the lay discernment committee for a trans woman who will be entering the priesthood soon. She not only has the love and support of our parish but the support of our bishop.

The service is similar to the Catholic service. The main difference is you'll find women and LGBT people at the altar, not just men.

He should make sure the parish is a member of Integrity, the LGBT ministry of the national church. In California, we also have Oasis.