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elehhhhna

(32,076 posts)
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 06:43 AM Oct 2016

Check in here if you are a woman who has been groped.

Check.

Not something we talk about...because its humiliating. I don't think most men have any idea how common this is. I recently attended a convention of executives that shared space with the HUGE 5 year national Plumbers Union convention. The plumbers and pipe fitters were gentlemen. The execs were gropers. I(late 50's) and my 45 year old female co-worker were both groped. Our 28 year old co-worker was groped AND stalked. Nothing of us were drunk etc. and this happened within an hour of the start of a vendor hosted reception.

Fun tip- shouting "get your fucking hands off me" solves the problem, stat.

212 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Check in here if you are a woman who has been groped. (Original Post) elehhhhna Oct 2016 OP
check ellenrr Oct 2016 #1
Check. Small Accumulates Oct 2016 #2
Check whathehell Oct 2016 #3
Check watrwefitinfor Oct 2016 #4
Check Happyhippychick Oct 2016 #5
A shorter list would be the women who haven't been groped. Vinca Oct 2016 #6
^^^This^^^ eom Gormy Cuss Oct 2016 #121
Check AirmensMom Oct 2016 #7
Check Scarsdale Oct 2016 #8
Check. Granny M Oct 2016 #9
CHECK etherealtruth Oct 2016 #10
Check. n/t prairierose Oct 2016 #11
Check moosewhisperer Oct 2016 #12
Check. ms liberty Oct 2016 #13
Check. femmedem Oct 2016 #14
I was a cocktail waitress too. Control-Z Oct 2016 #159
Checking in. nt cry baby Oct 2016 #15
Check. synergie Oct 2016 #16
Check rury Oct 2016 #17
Check. greatauntoftriplets Oct 2016 #18
Chevk. CrispyQ Oct 2016 #19
Check. CottonBear Oct 2016 #20
check. PunkinPi Oct 2016 #21
check lark Oct 2016 #22
check again lark Oct 2016 #23
Same thing happened to me dgibby Oct 2016 #108
check somethingshiny Oct 2016 #24
Check SaveOurDemocracy Oct 2016 #25
Check Danmel Oct 2016 #26
Yes. iamateacher Oct 2016 #27
Check radical noodle Oct 2016 #28
Check Cracklin Charlie Oct 2016 #29
+1 CountAllVotes Oct 2016 #52
My brothers told me: Cracklin Charlie Oct 2016 #81
Make contact at the shin, scrape all the way down, Ms. Toad Oct 2016 #98
Check MountainMazza Oct 2016 #30
Check. yellerpup Oct 2016 #31
check arithia Oct 2016 #32
Check Freddie Oct 2016 #33
Yes, we can thank Trump for that Rorey Oct 2016 #36
Thank you for being strong enough to share this. But one thing... Bucky Oct 2016 #49
Was being sarcastic Freddie Oct 2016 #61
Happened to me too. Duppers Oct 2016 #84
Check Rorey Oct 2016 #34
Check s-cubed Oct 2016 #35
Check. nt tblue37 Oct 2016 #37
Check. Greybnk48 Oct 2016 #38
add me to the list. redwitch Oct 2016 #39
Yes. nt msanthrope Oct 2016 #40
Check mothra1orbit Oct 2016 #41
More than once mothra1orbit Oct 2016 #44
Check. Too many times to list. First time at age 11. N/t carpediem Oct 2016 #42
Here... FarPoint Oct 2016 #43
Check. Avalux Oct 2016 #45
Check. Helen Borg Oct 2016 #46
Check. Chemisse Oct 2016 #47
If men are allowed to check in. Check IronLionZion Oct 2016 #48
+1 Divine Discontent Oct 2016 #193
Check. nolabear Oct 2016 #50
Age 12. n/t pnwmom Oct 2016 #51
Check womanofthehills Oct 2016 #54
check nt okaawhatever Oct 2016 #53
check LittleGirl Oct 2016 #55
Check Qanisqineq Oct 2016 #56
Check yardwork Oct 2016 #57
I asked my wife, she said yes liberal N proud Oct 2016 #58
check DesertRat Oct 2016 #59
May I remind you men and boys get groped too TrogL Oct 2016 #60
So why not start a second thread? and Check. spooky3 Oct 2016 #62
Wow .... etherealtruth Oct 2016 #67
Feel free to start your own thread about that. nt DLevine Oct 2016 #73
Start a thread. elehhhhna Oct 2016 #85
I'm surprised it took this long for one of you to show up. nt raccoon Oct 2016 #148
Check... CherokeeDem Oct 2016 #63
Check. Multiple times, starting at 13. sinkingfeeling Oct 2016 #65
Of Course Chalco Oct 2016 #66
I got it the worst as a teenager. Quantess Oct 2016 #68
That is molestation! Motley13 Oct 2016 #114
Well, here we are. I feel damned lucky to get away before anything became too weird. Quantess Oct 2016 #197
Check MsMAC Oct 2016 #69
check Motley13 Oct 2016 #70
Check hopeforchange2008 Oct 2016 #71
Check MsLeopard Oct 2016 #72
Check. Duppers Oct 2016 #74
Check riverbendviewgal Oct 2016 #75
Check Emilybemily Oct 2016 #76
Check. nruthie Oct 2016 #77
Check. bunnies Oct 2016 #78
Check x too many times to count. Tess49 Oct 2016 #79
check Siwsan Oct 2016 #80
Check, although once I turned the tables and it was very satisfying. smirkymonkey Oct 2016 #82
Good for you! Duppers Oct 2016 #88
Of course, I had a few drinks in me. smirkymonkey Oct 2016 #89
Check. I'm gonna take a wild guess that if you are female, you have been groped. OregonBlue Oct 2016 #83
Check Loryn Oct 2016 #86
Check Sunsky Oct 2016 #87
This message was self-deleted by its author clutterbox1830 Oct 2016 #90
check tenderfoot Oct 2016 #91
Many times unapatriciated Oct 2016 #92
Check babydollhead Oct 2016 #93
Check kimbutgar Oct 2016 #95
Check - many times LeftInTX Oct 2016 #96
Check, and worse. Ms. Toad Oct 2016 #97
Check sagetea Oct 2016 #99
check. raven mad Oct 2016 #100
And yeah, he was my boss. raven mad Oct 2016 #102
Check. The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2016 #101
I'm lucky I guess PasadenaTrudy Oct 2016 #143
Check sarae Oct 2016 #103
check Piasladic Oct 2016 #105
Check Womaninabinder Oct 2016 #106
This message was self-deleted by its author kestrel91316 Oct 2016 #107
Yep. LisaM Oct 2016 #109
Packed like a sardine NYC Subway Car HockeyMom Oct 2016 #110
Check. Staph Oct 2016 #111
Check. dgibby Oct 2016 #113
Check. nt JTFrog Oct 2016 #115
check irisblue Oct 2016 #116
Check KT2000 Oct 2016 #117
Check(s) otohara Oct 2016 #118
Check. nt DLevine Oct 2016 #119
Check. CharlotteVale Oct 2016 #120
Check Sophiegirl Oct 2016 #122
So sorry. I started this thread thinking I'd been groped maybe 3 times elehhhhna Oct 2016 #123
No apology necessary Sophiegirl Oct 2016 #131
Check Lady_Chat Oct 2016 #124
yup XemaSab Oct 2016 #125
Yep Mchill17 Oct 2016 #126
Check SummerSnow Oct 2016 #127
Check meadowlark5 Oct 2016 #128
Check Warpy Oct 2016 #129
Check and I resent Zippyzagnut Oct 2016 #130
Check ... several times Rhythm Oct 2016 #132
Check. n/t susanna Oct 2016 #133
Check. narnian60 Oct 2016 #135
Yes MFM008 Oct 2016 #136
Check LiberalLoner Oct 2016 #137
As a male speaking for (Iam sure) 99.9% of good men, Iam so sorry Old Vet Oct 2016 #138
. annabanana Oct 2016 #139
Not groped in the literal sense but I went to the store with a guy I barely knew to buy some Boomerproud Oct 2016 #140
Check True_Blue Oct 2016 #141
check Hamlette Oct 2016 #142
Check.. Stellar Oct 2016 #144
Check wickerwoman Oct 2016 #145
Check. nt raccoon Oct 2016 #146
Check. frogmarch Oct 2016 #147
Check. Put out my cigarette on one of them. REP Oct 2016 #149
I wish I had thought of that when I was younger. Ilsa Oct 2016 #170
Check. Age 6. roody Oct 2016 #150
Check Wind Dancer Oct 2016 #152
check N/T Akacia Oct 2016 #154
Check Portland_Anni Oct 2016 #155
I once had a boss who would slide across the floor and grab your ankles Solly Mack Oct 2016 #156
when a guy asks if you want to sit on his face Skittles Oct 2016 #198
lolol! I actually stepped on his face. Solly Mack Oct 2016 #201
Donald Trump was your boss? mnmoderatedem Oct 2016 #205
That wouldn't be too far off the mark, actually. Solly Mack Oct 2016 #207
Check. Control-Z Oct 2016 #157
More than a few. Zen Democrat Oct 2016 #158
I was not going to check in. stage left Oct 2016 #160
Check n/t KitSileya Oct 2016 #161
check n/t lupinella Oct 2016 #162
Check HeartlandDem Oct 2016 #163
Yep. Might be more interesting for women who HAVEN'T been groped to self-identify. n/t TygrBright Oct 2016 #164
check n/t kanda Oct 2016 #165
Check Tyche Oct 2016 #166
Creep followed me home and banged on my door saying he just wanted to rape.. no biggie (s) Foggyhill Oct 2016 #167
check. many times when I was young. fierywoman Oct 2016 #168
Check. Ilsa Oct 2016 #169
Check. oftheforest Oct 2016 #171
Well yes ismnotwasm Oct 2016 #172
many times. started age 12 with 70-ish violin teacher... fierywoman Oct 2016 #173
I made him very, VERY sorry indeed Skittles Oct 2016 #174
Check. Dark n Stormy Knight Oct 2016 #175
Check ALBliberal Oct 2016 #176
Check Mira Oct 2016 #177
Check senegal1 Oct 2016 #178
Check mshasta Oct 2016 #180
groped...and I'm a man Demonaut Oct 2016 #181
Check. Multiple times. eom BlueCaliDem Oct 2016 #182
Of course, but am I the only one uncomfortable with posting details? LeftyMom Oct 2016 #183
Yeah, some, but fuck that guy. elehhhhna Oct 2016 #188
Check catrose Oct 2016 #184
check ReformedGOPer Oct 2016 #185
Sadly - more than once and was sexually assaulted in an elevator... Pachamama Oct 2016 #186
No but I'll admit a story LostinRed Oct 2016 #187
#notokay rabbitinred Oct 2016 #189
OMG rtracey Oct 2016 #190
Not a pleasant truth, but this just shows how many of us have stories, even men Divine Discontent Oct 2016 #191
check. salin Oct 2016 #192
Check Lee-Lee Oct 2016 #194
Check. nt babylonsister Oct 2016 #195
Check. nt Laffy Kat Oct 2016 #196
The first time att nine years old. Tracer Oct 2016 #199
Check Generic Other Oct 2016 #200
check appleannie1 Oct 2016 #202
Check catbyte Oct 2016 #203
Check OBrien Oct 2016 #206
Check onecaliberal Oct 2016 #208
One of the times I was groped, I was lucky. I was working as a waitress appleannie1 Oct 2016 #209
Check mercuryblues Oct 2016 #210
Check. tosh Oct 2016 #211
Chk Panich52 Oct 2016 #212

watrwefitinfor

(1,404 posts)
4. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 06:49 AM
Oct 2016

Groped at age 11 by my aunt's husband - a preacher.
Silent about it for 40 years.

Mostly afraid no one would believe me.

Wat

Vinca

(51,144 posts)
6. A shorter list would be the women who haven't been groped.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 06:59 AM
Oct 2016

It's happened to all of us at some point.

Scarsdale

(9,426 posts)
8. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:12 AM
Oct 2016

Walking down a hallway at work, salesman came up rubbed his hands all over my rear end. The men in the shop were true gentlemen. The higher ups were NOT. Computer programmer did the same. To me and others. I saw him in action. Not one single man in the machine shop OR foundry did that. Just the white collar guys.

Granny M

(1,395 posts)
9. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:15 AM
Oct 2016

More than one check, I'm afraid. I'd also like to check for my Mom, may she rest in peace, and also for a few other women who have passed on, as well. We might tell each other, but we mostly kept quiet.

femmedem

(8,445 posts)
14. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:24 AM
Oct 2016

I was a barmaid, walking up some stairs with a tray full of beers, when I felt some guy pinch my butt. Since my hands were full, I reflexively kicked him and kept walking.

The next time I saw him (he was a regular, and that was the first time he'd behaved badly) I apologized for kicking him. He told me not to apologize, he deserved it, and that he hadn't pinched me: he'd bitten me.

Also been raped, but that's another story.

Control-Z

(15,684 posts)
159. I was a cocktail waitress too.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 05:05 PM
Oct 2016

While bending down to a low table with a full tray of drinks one of the guys bit me on the ass. He was humming the theme from "Jaws".

CrispyQ

(38,405 posts)
19. Chevk.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:40 AM
Oct 2016

When I was younger it was called goosing & we were told by our PE instructor that it was a compliment. Circa mid-70s.

lark

(24,260 posts)
23. check again
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:55 AM
Oct 2016

Oh yeah, escaped rape only because guy was drunk and I was't. I became a rape counselor to try and help others not as lucky.

dgibby

(9,474 posts)
108. Same thing happened to me
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:44 AM
Oct 2016

when I was active duty Navy. An "officer and a gentleman" (Academy grad/pilot) broke into my quarters in the BOQ. I didn't even bother to notify my command, as I knew it wouldn't do any good. I'd already had a run in with my CO because he was trying to pimp out the single female officers to the men at the Officers' Club.

somethingshiny

(40 posts)
24. check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:59 AM
Oct 2016

By a doctor, at age 15. He was doing sports physicals at my high school.
Sports physicals do not normally involve a breast exam. Never told anyone, and it was years later when I finally realized I'd been molested.

Cracklin Charlie

(12,904 posts)
29. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:05 AM
Oct 2016

I kicked my groper where it hurts. Last I saw of him, he was slumped against a water heater.

Teach your daughters that it is okay to fight back. That's what my brothers taught me.

CountAllVotes

(21,093 posts)
52. +1
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:36 AM
Oct 2016

Actually it was my late mother that gave me this advice.

She said kick 'em in the middle. If they don't go down the first time, kick 'em again and yowza! They will go down! She was absolutely right. I wonder why she knew ...

Kind of sad in retrospect eh?

& recommend.

Cracklin Charlie

(12,904 posts)
81. My brothers told me:
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:42 AM
Oct 2016

You won't be strong enough to punch him away. Women's legs are normally the strongest part of their body. If they come up behind you, stomp on their shins and feet. If they are in front of you, go for the groin. Either way, they let go, and you get away. And, you must act quickly, because the longer the situation, the greater his advantage.

Ms. Toad

(35,569 posts)
98. Make contact at the shin, scrape all the way down,
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:18 AM
Oct 2016

and end by stomping hard on the arch. Make every movement a specific intentional act to do the most damage you can.

Thanks to the street fighting class I took. I'll spare you all the descriptions of attacking the face.

arithia

(455 posts)
32. check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:10 AM
Oct 2016

multiple times as a kid, several times as an adult.

Second job I ever had, the manager liked to slide up in back of the lady employees and put his chin on our shoulders to watch us count the registers. The whole time, he would rub his junk on our butts. Dude was so arrogant, he would do this in front of customers. If anyone verbally reacted, they were fired for causing a scene. If you pushed him away, he used the excuse of your sudden and "erratic" movement while counting the drawer as an attempt at theft... and fired you.

You know those kitchy embroidery floss hair wraps that periodically become popular? Turns out that when you weave jagged bits of metal into them (I went with tiny golden stars) and do a hair toss, your boss can't complain when he's lacerated by a hair accessory. 0=)

Freddie

(9,715 posts)
33. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:10 AM
Oct 2016

Went to a professor's office to turn in a paper. On my way out he grabbed me from behind and fondled my breasts. Was too shocked to say or do anything, just left. It was the 70's. My fault for wearing a tight sweater. I never told anybody about it except my husband years later.
The professor had a long and illustrious career at the university, retired as Emeritus with many honors. Makes me sick. How many students did he grope who couldn't do a thing about it (in those days)?
Trump has opened up a Pandora's box with women.

Rorey

(8,513 posts)
36. Yes, we can thank Trump for that
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:16 AM
Oct 2016

Because of the publicity all of his assaults have finally gotten, there are many women and girls (and boys!) who now WILL speak out because it's NOT okay and it's also NEVER their fault. Now we have to make sure that Donald Trump goes down in flames, and not only politically, but in every way. He truly deserves to be destroyed, along with all of his enablers. His family, his staff, and every person who stood idly by while he committed the assaults, or even joked about assaulting.

Bucky

(55,334 posts)
49. Thank you for being strong enough to share this. But one thing...
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:35 AM
Oct 2016

I couldn't disagree more with your statement. "My fault for wearing a tight sweater." You could've been wearing a bikini or a burka, it is NOT your fault for being attacked. It is the perpetrator's fault.

Duppers

(28,256 posts)
84. Happened to me too.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:46 AM
Oct 2016

I still remember his name: Dr. Isaacs, English lit. It was in the 60's, so I know he's not teaching now.




Rorey

(8,513 posts)
34. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:11 AM
Oct 2016

I learned to avert early on, but failed at aversion a few times. I think I learned to be defensive because of an attempt by a pedophile when I was about five years old. My dad saved me, but it was a profound experience.

mothra1orbit

(231 posts)
44. More than once
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:28 AM
Oct 2016

first time age 12 fingered from behind at a museum. Told my parents, who said the "poor guy" probably thought I was leading him on when I moved away. 1959.

Avalux

(35,015 posts)
45. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:29 AM
Oct 2016

Years ago in the workplace, I was assaulted by an active duty army officer who entered my office, leaned over me while I was working at my desk (effectively pinning me there) and stuck his tongue in my ear. I smacked him and yelled to get the hell away from me which made him stop.

I decided to report him and ultimately, had him transferred but only after enduring blame from others. He was not reprimanded however.

There have been other instances through the years - male coworkers who like to hug me - crap like that.

Chemisse

(31,004 posts)
47. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:31 AM
Oct 2016

I suspect there are few - if any - women who have NOT been sexually assaulted in some way during their lives.

Qanisqineq

(4,827 posts)
56. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:40 AM
Oct 2016

When I was a teenager, a guy on the school bus would regularly grab me when I walked by or put his hand on my seat as I was sitting down. I reported it. His friend then started doing it but I didn't report it due to the backlash from reporting the first guy.

liberal N proud

(60,967 posts)
58. I asked my wife, she said yes
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 08:49 AM
Oct 2016

I am afraid to ask my daughters, I would be even more enraged.

I would never think of touching a woman or man for that part if it was not welcomed.

Chalco

(1,360 posts)
66. Of Course
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:02 AM
Oct 2016

On a bus when I was 16 was the first time. I never told anyone. It was too disgusting. Plus at that time, 1962, it was
always excused with "Boys, will be boys. They can't help themselves once they get excited."

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
68. I got it the worst as a teenager.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:04 AM
Oct 2016

Teenage boys were the absolute worst regarding grabbing or pinching my ass, or even grabbing my boob as they walked by in the hallway (in mostly the 8th grade, at school.)

My older sister's husband walked in on me while I was taking a bath. He drew the shower curtain away, stared at my naked 14 or 15 year old body for about 10 seconds, then left the room.

At age 17, my other older sister's husband said I was hot and my sister repeated it to me. Why did she tell me, I wonder?

Nobody ever molested me, I am lucky to say. But I have had more than my fair share of sexual harrassment, daily, just for being a 25-ish blond woman in the Mission District in San Francisco. Yes it's true, some cultures do more catcalling than others.

But the worst sexual harrassment, in general, was whenever I walked down the side of the road. It was men of all range of ages.

But have I ever gotten groped, unwantedly? Probably 20 to 50 times in my life.

Quantess

(27,630 posts)
197. Well, here we are. I feel damned lucky to get away before anything became too weird.
Wed Oct 19, 2016, 02:56 PM
Oct 2016

I don't feel like my story is that much different from the many women I have talked with. It's like, no big deal, right?

Motley13

(3,867 posts)
70. check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:09 AM
Oct 2016


at 13 by my cousin, twice, He was about 28 & married.

at 19 by my boss, not groped, but kissed. He was bringing me home after a meeting & parked the car. It didn't happen again, but I saw the signs that happened to others.


Duppers

(28,256 posts)
74. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:15 AM
Oct 2016

Last edited Sat Oct 15, 2016, 10:03 AM - Edit history (1)

The time a total stranger groped me when I was alone with him really freaked me out.

The more common offense:

I've had both a boss, two neighbors, and a professional person who would place their hands right at the very edge of appropriateness making me very uncomfortable. They knew what they were doing. Perhaps some men don't, such as Joe Biden and W. Bush were caught doing a few times. I think they just intended friendship? But often men are checking to see how you'd respond...looking for a "go ahead" signal perhaps?

I think most women know what I'm talking about. And this is an all too common offense. And often just too subtle and awkward to warrant an outright slap.




Edited to add an attempted rape. Please don't stone me but my hubs insisted I pack a tiny, palm-sized ...err...handgun with me to work, which I pulled out of my purse and stuck in his face. Damn, was I shaking. I told him to leave and as soon as he was out the door, I locked it and called the police. He was drunk. They got him on a DWI and reckless driving and kept him in jail long enough for him to be fired from his job. My boss saw to that. I never pressed any charges as just knowing he had lost his job seemed enough for me at the time. I was 26.
(Btw, please don't go there because I support gun control.)

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
82. Check, although once I turned the tables and it was very satisfying.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:44 AM
Oct 2016

I was at a very crowded frat party (ugh) and the guy behind me in line for the bar kept grabbing my bum. After asking him to knock it off a few times, I had finally had it. I turned around and grabbed his crotch as hard as I could. The look of shock on his face was priceless. Needless to say, I had no more problems with him that evening.

Sunsky

(1,876 posts)
87. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 09:54 AM
Oct 2016

Numerous times. My social life has taken a hit and I now only go social events that husband will attend. Despicable.

Response to elehhhhna (Original post)

unapatriciated

(5,390 posts)
92. Many times
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 10:14 AM
Oct 2016

I entered the work force in the early 70s. It was something you put up with in order to keep your job. If you complained you were made fun of or let go.

kimbutgar

(23,426 posts)
95. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 10:54 AM
Oct 2016

My older sister and I were cleaning out our Mothers closet and talked about our numerous groping incidents when we were young. There were too many times. She is 66 and I am 60.

LeftInTX

(30,198 posts)
96. Check - many times
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 10:55 AM
Oct 2016

As a teenager. None as an adult

The strangest was by my grandfather. The entire family was in the living room watching football - including me and my grandfather. He commented about how I was growing up, then suddenly grabbed my breast in front of everyone. Everyone saw it. My dad yelled and yelled at him. It turned into quite a scene.

Us girls all ran into another room and we laughed about it for several hours, because it was so brazen and strange. My grandfather died a few weeks later, so I never had to face him again. (Maybe he was losing his faculties when he did this) This is my last memory of him.

After he died, my grandmother would tell me stories about his serial groping and all sorts of stuff.

ETA: The other gropings occurred with classmates and were extremely painful, emotionally. Happened at school: on the bus, in the stairs, at my locker. It was just awful and I felt dirty. I always felt it was my fault. It was awful.

Ms. Toad

(35,569 posts)
97. Check, and worse.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:13 AM
Oct 2016

Starting around age 11
Brother
Stranger (in a swimming pool, with my parents nearby)
Classmate (in a classroom, surrounded by ~25 classmates)
Stranger (on public transportation)

and those are just the specific incidents I can recall prior to reaching adult-hood.

raven mad

(4,940 posts)
102. And yeah, he was my boss.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:28 AM
Oct 2016

I threw a heavy ashtray at his head. His office was the only place in a 20-floor building where smoking was allowed - only by him of course.

It connected, and since I had a recording going, I left and saved the cassette.

The Velveteen Ocelot

(121,168 posts)
101. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:27 AM
Oct 2016

I wonder what a thread of women who have never been groped would look like? I think it would be

*crickets*

Response to elehhhhna (Original post)

LisaM

(28,676 posts)
109. Yep.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:52 AM
Oct 2016

I once had my breasts grabbed by a self-professed "boob checker". But it most often happened in the pool when swimming laps. Over and over and over.

 

HockeyMom

(14,337 posts)
110. Packed like a sardine NYC Subway Car
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:53 AM
Oct 2016

Difficult to know just who it was. I wouldn't want to just scream out and accuse all the men around me.

dgibby

(9,474 posts)
113. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 12:07 PM
Oct 2016

Many times, starting around the age of 5 or 6, when I was fondled by a neighbor's boyfriend. In each instance (except for the attempted rape when I was in the Navy-my CO would have blamed me, and my career would have been ruined), I reported the situation to the appropriate adult. I always had my parents support.

Others, like my church youth group counselors, not so much-I was grilled by them about what I had done to make the boys do that. Never got over that, as I really looked up to, and trusted those two. She was the the Director of Christian Education, and he was the summer interim student pastor, and I was about 12 or 13 at the time. I thought my mother was going to kill them when I told her about it. Don't think I've ever seen her quite so angry.

irisblue

(34,348 posts)
116. check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 12:23 PM
Oct 2016

I was 19 & studying @ the main Grand Rapids public library. I was sitting @a study desk, head down reading.The groper, who I did not see until he put his hand on my left thigh was bent down as if he was looking for a book on a low shelf. I stood immediately and screamed FIRE as loudly as I could. I never told anyone till now.

 

elehhhhna

(32,076 posts)
123. So sorry. I started this thread thinking I'd been groped maybe 3 times
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 12:59 PM
Oct 2016

But reading the comments is bringing up lots of long forgotten things.


Sophiegirl

(2,338 posts)
131. No apology necessary
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 01:19 PM
Oct 2016

I believe it is good to see that we are not alone and that even if it happened one time 30 years ago, it still hurts today.

Mchill17

(13 posts)
126. Yep
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 01:05 PM
Oct 2016

Once in India ( the "P" kind), so probably doesn't count. Several times by men in positions of power at work.

meadowlark5

(2,795 posts)
128. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 01:08 PM
Oct 2016

All the way back to as young as 5th grade by an older neighbor of one of my friends.

But what I was most subjected to was vulgar talk, either towards me or around me by guys. Believe me, "locker room talk" is common in some parts of the country, still to this day. I witnessed it as recently as Labor Day weekend back home visiting in the midwest, rural farming town. The women even laugh at it.

Warpy

(113,131 posts)
129. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 01:16 PM
Oct 2016

Extra points for riding subways. "Hands off, you fucking pervert!" in a stage voice worked for me, especially when I was wearing shoes with hard heels and paired it with a stomp to his instep.

I wasn't humiliated as much as outraged.

Boomerproud

(8,426 posts)
140. Not groped in the literal sense but I went to the store with a guy I barely knew to buy some
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 02:44 PM
Oct 2016

household items (my mom was friends with his mom) and he turned into a park and took out his penis and said "Will you give it some sweet kisses." Somehow I kept my composure and said "There's a ranger right over there and I don't know you." He just shrugged and said "OK". I only told my best friend.

True_Blue

(3,063 posts)
141. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 02:50 PM
Oct 2016

Any woman that has been molested knows Trump is a creepy predator.

I have deep respect for the women who are bravely coming forward. They're putting their safety at risk to do what's right for our Country.

Ilsa

(62,260 posts)
170. I wish I had thought of that when I was younger.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:25 PM
Oct 2016

The satisfaction alone would make taking up smoking worthwhile.

Portland_Anni

(164 posts)
155. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 04:41 PM
Oct 2016

However, I am a Passible transgender woman who used to do hard labor in the woods in Oregon and was in a Combat Arms job my last enlistment in the U.S. Army. I kicked his ass pretty good. Sometimes men jus pick on the wrong woman.

Solly Mack

(92,981 posts)
156. I once had a boss who would slide across the floor and grab your ankles
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 04:46 PM
Oct 2016

while flicking his tongue in and out and ask us to sit on his face.

If he caught a woman waiting for something, he'd hit the floor, slide between her legs, grab her ankles and then say it.

And he wasn't the worst. The other boss would corner women in supply closets and push them against the wall while his hands went everywhere.

We sued the company. Won - but it didn't matter.

Solly Mack

(92,981 posts)
201. lolol! I actually stepped on his face.
Wed Oct 19, 2016, 03:05 PM
Oct 2016

I did say excuse me though. Claimed I didn't know he was there.

He and the company were sued. Turned out he got moved around a lot, much like some priests.

stage left

(3,021 posts)
160. I was not going to check in.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 05:25 PM
Oct 2016

And then I remembered walking home from school and the older boy who threw me now in the middle of the street and kissed me. My mother, who was shadowing me to make sure I got home safely, gave him what for. I was six.

HeartlandDem

(80 posts)
163. Check
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 06:13 PM
Oct 2016

Multiple times. That said, I know many wonderful men who would never dream of doing the things sleazo trump admits to much less saying the disrespectful things he's stated.

Foggyhill

(1,060 posts)
167. Creep followed me home and banged on my door saying he just wanted to rape.. no biggie (s)
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:11 PM
Oct 2016

Warded him off by calling 911, almost went through my big exterior door. Still don't know who it was but he seemingly knew me.


d to put in many surveillance cam, including remote ones so I could know if I could get to my door within being ambushed and also take good pictures of this creep

fierywoman

(8,122 posts)
168. check. many times when I was young.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:16 PM
Oct 2016

especially in the metro in mexico city. is there a thread for men exposing themselves in front of us?

ismnotwasm

(42,474 posts)
172. Well yes
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:32 PM
Oct 2016

And I am currently involved in a interesting Facebook discussion with a number of women talking about their own experiences.

fierywoman

(8,122 posts)
173. many times. started age 12 with 70-ish violin teacher...
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 07:32 PM
Oct 2016

... who in one of those years won the award from the American String Teacher's Association as the best violin teacher of the year. I was very "privileged/lucky to study with him". He kept trying to kiss me on the lips. After I caught on to what he was doing, the next time he lunged at me (in the middle of my Mozart concerto) I took a giant step backward. He yelled, "Get out, go home and never come back!" My mother believed me and found a new teacher.
The guys who grabbed me ("p&quot in the metro in Mexico City I would slap very hard across the face (think: whip crackling) and yell PINCHE PENDEJO CABRON! And all the women in the metro car would laugh with me (a gringa) at him.

Dark n Stormy Knight

(10,036 posts)
175. Check.
Sat Oct 15, 2016, 11:38 PM
Oct 2016

Like so many here, more than once, starting when I was not far into my teens by my best friend's father. Ugh.

LeftyMom

(49,212 posts)
183. Of course, but am I the only one uncomfortable with posting details?
Sun Oct 16, 2016, 01:32 AM
Oct 2016

It's a dead certainty that some sick fuck is at least chuckling about them liebrul bitches getting what they deserve, if not jerking off.

Pachamama

(17,017 posts)
186. Sadly - more than once and was sexually assaulted in an elevator...
Sun Oct 16, 2016, 02:24 AM
Oct 2016

In college by a head coach for a sports team while in the equipment room, at a party for my kid's school by a very drunk father of a classmate of my child and then the sexual assault in an elevator by a security guard who threatened me.

LostinRed

(844 posts)
187. No but I'll admit a story
Sun Oct 16, 2016, 02:37 AM
Oct 2016

When I was in eighth grade I snapped a girls bra. My teacher took me aside and told me that is the behavior predator and is inexcusable. I never forgot that and have never behaved so badly again.

rabbitinred

(4 posts)
189. #notokay
Sun Oct 16, 2016, 03:53 AM
Oct 2016

choir teacher would take me into center room, have me lie down on piano bench so he could check my "diaphragm" to be sure i was breathing correctly while singing. I have always wondered why the piano bench in the classromm wouldn't suffice.

 

rtracey

(2,062 posts)
190. OMG
Sun Oct 16, 2016, 04:25 AM
Oct 2016

I am a husband, with 2 daughters, aged 22 and 28, and I am appalled that we even nee this thread. I am saddened for all of you who were sexually assaulted, and dont kid yourselves, unwanted touching is sexual assault. My thoughts are for everyone this happened to. NOW.. WE NEED TO GOTV AND NOT ALLOW TRUMP ELECTED. No sexual predictors allowed ever again.

Divine Discontent

(21,056 posts)
191. Not a pleasant truth, but this just shows how many of us have stories, even men
Sun Oct 16, 2016, 04:35 AM
Oct 2016

I was fondled by a long-time female friend when we were all at a tourist type eatery/bar, and she reached over and groped my genitals and I threw a complete fit at her and said who the hell do you think you are grabbing my dick! She laughed! I never went with her anywhere again. If we had any form of an intimate relationship or such, then her actions would be forgiven, but there was nothing that would excuse her actions, and laughing.

I also was rubbed up against then groped by a disgusting woman while singing one of my favorite songs at a concert, which now has THAT memory attached to it because of her sleaze.

I make this point because a friend's psych told him that women do not sexually assault men, and reading the threat title quickly it seemed like a check-in for people who have been groped. Many people have stories.

Sorry to see there's so many...

Tracer

(2,769 posts)
199. The first time att nine years old.
Wed Oct 19, 2016, 03:02 PM
Oct 2016

In a movie theater with my older sister and another girl friend.

Creepy man sat on my left and started touching my leg. I tried to squeeze away from him towards my sister, but he wouldn't quit.

Finally got up my nerve to turn around and face him, and he immediately got up and ran out of the theater.

There are more instances, but I'll keep it to the first.

catbyte

(35,874 posts)
203. Check
Wed Oct 19, 2016, 03:11 PM
Oct 2016

It was 35 years years ago, and I can't believe how quickly the awful experience came rushing back. I hadn't thought about it in years, but the memory spewed up to the surface so strongly that it shocked me. I don't think I'm the only woman who had that reaction.

appleannie1

(5,203 posts)
209. One of the times I was groped, I was lucky. I was working as a waitress
Wed Oct 19, 2016, 03:50 PM
Oct 2016

and a fellow in a suit and tie came in alone for dinner. Every time I passed his booth he sort of reached out and touched my butt so lightly that the first time I thought it was my imagination. When I realized he was really doing it, I walked out of my way to other tables to avoid him. When his spaghetti dinner was ready, I 'accidentally' tripped as I approached his table and dumped his spaghetti right down the front of him. I then grabbed a napkin and mashed it into his white shirt and suit jacket as I told him how sorry I was. My boss saw it and came over and said the business would pay to have the suit cleaned. He then came into the kitchen and asked "What on earth did he do to you?". I told him. He then said "I figured he had done something he should not have" "Bet he will think twice before doing that to some other waitress" and walked out of the kitchen. I was very, very lucky because most bosses would have fired a waitress for doing something like that.

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