My confession: This is what I say often in my locker room.

[Yavin4]

"What?! This f**king scale is broken. How can I have gained two pounds!?! I go every day!!!""

[Lochloosa]

1. Grab it! It will do what you want.

[okaawhatever]

2. Good one nt

[Martin Eden]

3. More often than not, my locker room exclamation is ...

OK -- who farted??!!!
(actually, it was me)

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

4. Or, "The water in the pool was extra cold today".

Well, that's what I've HEARD in the locker room. I, of course, would have no reason to say such a thing. No reason at all.

[forgotmylogin]

5. "Dude, your abs are looking so ripped."

"Do you trim with a razor of clippers?"
"Bill, I've got to say your ass looks great. Those squats are really paying off."
"Here, let me work some of that tension out of your traps and your delts..."

Wait...um. No. I mean we talk about fishing.

[awoke_in_2003]

12. Working out tension

That's how it starts

[airplaneman]

6. I check in on multiple scales and pick the lowest reading n/t.

[Warren DeMontague]

7. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY SOCKS

[Takket]

8. "Who stole my clothes???????"

[qwlauren35]

9. OH Yeah!

My friends tell me to go once a week, but I don't listen.

[keithbvadu2]

10. Ya gotta go to republican locker rooms to hear the Trump-good stuff.

[Achilleaze]

13. Republican locker room

[meow2u3]

11. "This bench is cold"

After I sat down to change into my workout gear.

Overheard in the locker room after working out: "Do you have an extra pad"?

[Paula Sims]

14. To prevent being exposed to such demeaning issues, I avoid the locker room ((snark))

and the gym and working out altogether. Why take the chance??