Trump Falls Behind In Race To Create American Jobs
A major new American deal with Iran was announced yesterday, in keeping with longstanding tradition for the lead-up to the inauguration of a new Republican president.
Boeing announced that it will sell 80 passenger jets to Iran Air for $16.6 billion, supporting almost 100,000 US jobs. The deal includes fifty 737s and thirty 777s to be delivered starting in 2018, and one wide-body 666 to be delivered at the sound of the last trump.
The deal puts Donald Trump in third place behind Pres. Obama and Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei for creation of American jobs this year. Khamenei has now saved or created more than 100 times as many jobs as Trump has, giving Trump just four years to catch up.
Khamenei told The Fucking News over beers last night, "Look. We get that Mr. Trump has fallen for the usual 'small business creates jobs' bullshit. We just want him to know that if he wants to understand the complexities of creating good, solid, American, manufacturing jobs, we're here for him. Assalaamu alaykum."
The new jets will feature added leg room and behead room, as well as spacious overhead compartments for stowing Jews. Boeing says some of the planes will be 14% more fuel-efficient than current models, helping Iran to reduce its dependence on Middle Eastern oil.
Trump told The Fucking News in an impromptu interview at four o'clock this goddamn morning when sane people are fucking asleep you goddamn maniac that the $16.6 billion price tag is too high and vowed to negotiate a better deal for Iran.
House Republicans last month passed a bill that could stop the deal. If Pres. Trump signs it, that will bring his job-creation total to -99,000.
(FILED UNDER REALLY GOOD HUMOR)
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