Today is my 33rd Birthday, and I made a 12 year old cry...

[YellowRubberDuckie]

He has been removed from his family's home. He was staying with some random woman and her kids in a filthy, unsafe home that smells heavily of cats. It was a horrible day, not for me, I mean, it was, but not because of anything that happened to me, but because I had to move this kid again because he was unsafe. But explain that to a 12 year old. And because of greed and lack of foster homes, he has no place to go.
I'm very excited about this new job, but it is not easy. Kids do not understand. If I had been able to, I would have brought that sweet boy home with me.
Happy Birthday to me.

[ananda]

1. Happy birthday.

I know you did your best for that child. Social work is not easy
in this distressed world.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

2. And it was my fourth day.

All I had to do was go pick him and his things up. That's all. His worker is still trying to find him someplace to stay.

[Lionessa]

3. As much as my abuse at home was horrendous, I am ever so glad

I never entered foster care. Easier not to blame myself because of family abuse, but with the history of substandard and abusive foster homes, at least I didn't have multiple abusive homes which would have made it much harder for me to realize it was me, it wasn't about my behavior, it was about theirs. But when things happen over and over in what should be "better" places, it gets real hard I imagine not to feel somehow responsible, to a child particularly.

It will be hard, and hats off to you for the suffering you'll see, sometimes you'll be blamed for (like today), and you will be doing everything you can to stop. I hope you have a really good support system, I think you'll need it.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

7. I think I do have support, thank goodness.

This home was not properly vetted and was some sort of kin foster home, not a traditional one. Someone was lazy and never did the home visit or the background check.
I'm just glad that some of these kids are going to get me and these other wonderful workers who will sleep at the office in a sleeping bag if necessary to keep them safe. I'm about to enter a thankless world, but I could not be happier and more excited to get to do what I think I was meant to do on this planet. It's just so hard to watch a 12 year old cry and not be able to do anything about it.

[Voice for Peace]

18. happy birthday

I'm glad they're getting you too.

[abelenkpe]

4. Happy Birthday

And thank you for your work. It must be very difficult. I hope that kid finds a nice safe home soon!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

8. Thank you!

It is. I'm humbled already by the things I've seen, and it's only my fourth day.

[Voice for Peace]

19. every bit of love and kindness given,

and every time a child feels "seen" by someone --
those moments will make an indelible impression for life.

It is usually being invisible that leads kids to despair,
apart from outright abuse. Even if your lives cross only
briefly, you will make a difference to how that kid sees
himself. They look for mirrors, to find out who they are.
All of us do.

[malaise]

5. Happy BirthdayYellowRubber Duckie

You did the right thing.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. Thank you!

[spanone]

6. happy birthday YRD

[YellowRubberDuckie]

10. Thanks.

You're sweet.

[southernyankeebelle]

11. Happy Birthday. Your job is a job I would never want. I couldn't handle that child

crying. Be careful with yourself. If you are sad after 4 days you might not be in the right job. You have a heart.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

12. I'd rather it be me dealing with this because I know I can...

...than someone who DOESN'T have a heart....

[southernyankeebelle]

13. I had a dear friend that had a job like you did. It really took a toll on her. She did

make a terrible mistake once. She ended up bringing a young man to her home. She wanted to give him a chance. Well he took the chance. He ended up getting her daughter pregnant. He ended up being a loser. She found another home for him. However, it didn't stop their relationship. Her daughter was so intelligent. She new everything. She had that baby and she did end up marrying this guy and had another child. A few years later she divorced him. Her mother said only what if she didn't bring him home. She would have gone on to college. I mean she was really really smart. I don't know what is going on with them now because I moved away. I think she is retired now. But again don't put your guard down. Thats all am saying. I wish you the very best. They really need good people who really do care.

[MarianJack]

14. I'm sorry that this happened to that child.

As the father of a 12 year old boy whom we adopted as an infant, we know that that age can be a real pain in the rump. However, as much as we want to knock him on his arse quite frequently, his safety and wellbeing are penultimate to us!

We have thought of bringing a foster child into our home when we ge into a house. Of course, we have to consider him first and include him in the discussion and decision of doing this. It's so sad that people don't realize that a child is too precious to not give the best care and nurturing.

Please accept my best wishes for happiness in your new job even though I know (as a survivor of 20+ year in the Human Services) there will be days that are hard as hell, like today. Please believe that you WILL make a difference and it will be overwhelmingly a positive one. I don't want to sound like a heartless bastard, but you'll eventually have to learn how to keep your sanity by learning how to forget that the job exists once you go home every night and not think about it until the next morning. It sounds hard but that's how I survived.

Also, in all modesty, I was a hell of a practitioner and a hell of a supervisor/mentor for about 2/3 of my career.

Hang in there, you'll do great. I've read enough of your posts over the last few years to know that you have the requisite heart for this!

Happy Birthday and...

...PEACE!

[deaniac21]

15. I don't think I could do your job

but I'm glad there are people like you who can and make a difference in these kids lives.

[yardwork]

16. Happy birthday and thank you for your kindness and your work.

Most of the rest of us don't have to see these things, we don't have to deal with them, we are lucky that we have people like you who are taking care of little kids who don't have anybody else looking out for them. It's heartbreaking to see a child cry, but at least you were there with him. I'm sure that he sensed your kindness and caring. I'm sure that it made a difference. Maybe it made it easier for him to cry. That's not a bad thing.

[JNelson6563]

17. Well said.

[Historic NY]

20. 12 isn't easy I know...but your did the right thing..

Happy Birthday.

[a kennedy]

21. Happy Birthday....

[BadGimp]

22. Happy Birthday to You Indeed!

All the best..

[EFerrari]

23. I'm sorry, Duckie.

It's hard being the grown up sometimes.

[Skittles]

24. you can make a difference

talk to these kids - let them know they have value - sometimes that's what makes a huge difference later on