Even though Man-Baby wants to wake up in his own gold-encrusted bed in his eponymous tower,

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

Last edited Wed Jan 18, 2017, 04:03 AM - Edit history (1)

he will surely fuck up the White House to make it suitably ostentatious for the time he does spend there. Let's start with the exterior. Here are some artist's conceptions of what he might do. Mostly from this reddit thread. I think the last one's the best.

Just realized I left out this one, from this post, which is what got me started on this sick WH graphics kick in the first place.

[livetohike]

1. Perfect!

[Thor_MN]

2. What's up with the second one? I mean McConell is an ass, but no one deserves to be ridden by Trump

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

3. Lulz!

Thanks for the laugh. I know there's really nothing funny about the Drumpf travesty, but I do need some comic relief to keep me from totally losing it.

[lostnfound]

4. How many national treasures will be stolen?

I hope the landlord does a thorough accounting at move-in and after the resignation.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

11. I wonder if anyone is in charge of inventorying the vaulables.

Of course, nothing there will be tacky enough for his taste, but if anything is worth enough money, he'd slum.

[Doreen]

5. The first thing he will do is have Michelles garden destroyed.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

7. Either that or rename it, "MALANIA TRUMP's HUGE CLASSY TERRIFIC NOT AT ALL SAD GARDEN!"

And claim she planted it.

You're probably right, though. And he'll have them use a giant vat of Roundup.

[Doreen]

8. Or dig it up for putting a minature lake there for his personal golf course.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

16. Oh my, you made me wonder. And I found this:

Donald Trump pledges to turn White House lawn into golf course"

"Typical," I grumbled, and read on.

He went on to claim that his presidency would create untold jobs in the vital landscape gardening, caddying and hair-care product industries.

Trump outlined a wide range of policy areas, including turning the Yellowstone national park into a golf course, converting the President’s summer home at Martha’s Vineyard into a prestigious golfing retreat, and taking the war to Isis in Syria to free up lots of land for golf courses.

Of course, I then realized it was satire.

Then I saw this:
Robert Trent Jones Jr. on the history of the White House putting green

Turns out, there's a putting green on the White House lawn.

I've always been around the political scene - I'm friends with President Clinton, and my father played golf with Eisenhower. Ike had a putting green put in at the White House in the 1950s, but it was removed in the 1970s. In 1995, I was at the White House on a diplomatic matter, and I hear, "The President wants to see you." Mr. Clinton wanted a new putting green. We discussed where to put it. "This location?" "No, that's where the helicopter lands." We found a spot about 30 paces from the Oval Office, under the shade of the Hoover Oak, which President Hoover installed.

It's not a large green - about 2,000 square feet, slightly crowned. It's just a short walk, so Clinton would putt to clear his mind between negotiations, during the Bosnian crisis, or after the Oklahoma City bombing. Oklahoma City consumed him. I've putted with him on the green. He'd just chit-chat, or talk about world events.

Well, you learn something new every day.

[sheshe2]

6. Gold encrusted bed...

Pee encrusts? Eeeeew.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

9. Good point. I was gonna say gold-plated,

but encrusted just seemed so much more appropriate.

[sheshe2]

10. Works for me.

[tblue37]

12. This one is perfect:

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

13. Barad-durumpf. The capitol will now be called

Last edited Wed Jan 18, 2017, 06:12 PM - Edit history (1)

Mount Doom.

[OldRedneck]

14. And the toilets . . .

. . . don't forget the gold toilets.

The White House toilets are standard white porcelain. Trump uses only gold toilets.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

17. Well, you don't expect Donnie to be outdone by the other czars, do you?

Throne of Czar Michael Feodorovna, Russia


The golden throne of Nicholas II


Those are too pedestrian for Drumpf, though. This is more his style:

The double throne of Czars Ivan and future Peter I The Great.

Plus, where else is he going to tweet his presidential edicts from?

[ProudLib72]

15. Where is

the Russian prostitute entrance?

Where are the rubber sheets?

I want to know just how much tax payer money is going to be spent putting it all back the way it was after he is impeached in a couple of months.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

18. I assume the Russian hookers will come in the same door as Putin.

No need to have a secret entrance for either.

Despite video proof, Drumpf will deny everything. His supporters will believe him, and the best the corporate media will do is say, "President Trump denies aleged rumors that alleged White House orgy was allegedly attended by Putin, who allegedly brought a cadre of allegedly 11 year old sex slaves as a gift for the president, allegedly."