Who Among Us Has Not Misplaced an Aircraft Carrier?

[babylonsister]

http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a54605/trump-aircraft-carrier-north-korea/

Who Among Us Has Not Misplaced an Aircraft Carrier?

The newest scene in our national tragicomedy.

By Charles P. Pierce
Apr 18, 2017



OK, somebody needs to explain how these things happen. From the NYT:

The problem was, the carrier, the Carl Vinson, and the four other warships in its strike force were at that very moment sailing in the opposite direction, to take part in joint exercises with the Australian Navy in the Indian Ocean, 3,500 miles southwest of the Korean Peninsula. White House officials said on Tuesday they were relying on guidance from the Defense Department. Officials there described a glitch-ridden sequence of events, from a premature announcement of the deployment by the military's Pacific Command to an erroneous explanation by Defense Secretary Jim Mattis — all of which perpetuated the false narrative that an American armada was racing toward the waters off North Korea. By the time the White House was asked about the Carl Vinson on April 11, its imminent arrival had been emblazoned on front pages across East Asia, fanning fears that Mr. Trump was considering a pre-emptive military strike on North Korea. It was portrayed as further evidence of the president's muscular style two days after he ordered a missile strike on Syria while he and President Xi Jinping of China were finishing dessert during a meeting in Florida.

Let us catch our breath for a minute and take stock.

These people misplaced an entire carrier attack group and then tried to bluff their way past it in a way guaranteed to make a crazy guy with a bad haircut and a huge army nervous.

Thank god my running mate advised us not to get too crazy about this.

This episode does not seem to be a lie as much as it seems to be a further demonstration of the clusterfckish management style there at Camp Runamuck. At this point, my faith in what the administration says is such that I believe that, when the missiles flew into Syria, the president* and Xi actually were splitting a Twinkie and a bottle of YooHoo.

A beautiful Twinkie.

And the best bottle of YooHoo you ever saw.

[beam me up scottie]

1. Are we tired of winning yet?

I mean it's funny but also not funny.

[ProfessorGAC]

2. I Haven't

What? You don't believe me? I'll bet you don't believe orange also

[SticksnStones]

3. Holy Hannah...there really is no one in charge...

I weep for us all ~

[JHan]

4. *cues Yakety Sax*

[Achilleaze]

5. K & R

[grantcart]

6. Need to teach those Aussies a lesson

[Solly Mack]

7. The Keystone President.

[MindPilot]

8. Just last week as matter of fact.

But then i work for a defense contractor where we build the things so it's not unusual for one to go missing.

As it turns out, it had just fallen behind my desk.

[MindPilot]

9. "Carrier group getting lost in the Pacific...what kind of Navy is this?!"

at about 2:25

[yuiyoshida]

17. I really enjoyed that movie

and thought their Japanese Prisoner, was pretty cool... but actually his name is Soon-Tek Oh, and he is a Korean actor. It figures they couldn't find a Japanese actor to play that part. But hey, he's Korean, close enough... (Crazy).

[MindPilot]

53. I'm a huge fan of time travel movies and that is one of my favorites

Intersting bit of trivia about the Korean actor.

[DefenseLawyer]

10. Hello, Dimitri?

[fountainofyouth]

22. +1

I sure hope at least one person with the last name Trump has seen this movie.

[GP6971]

42. Odds are they haven't seen it

it's beneath their view of the "real" world.

[paleotn]

25. Heehee!!!

One off my favorite movies ever.

[yardwork]

33. My favorite movie of all time!

[Flaleftist]

11. Who knew being in charge of the U.S. Military could be so complicated?

[Amaryllis]

15. Really. Isn't it about like playing war with plastic ships and planes like my little brother did?

[jmowreader]

12. Crazy guy with bad haircut and huge army?

Are you talking about OUR crazy guy with the bad haircut and huge army, or North Korea's? Sometimes it's hard to tell them apart, except that Trump smells like flop sweat and desperation, and Kim Jong-il smells like kimchi - a much sweeter and milder fragrance.

The only explanation for this is total incompetence on the part of this administration. The Navy KNOWS where its surface ships are. It would have been very easy to find a carrier group close to North Korea and send it there, but Trump just couldn't be bothered to ask.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

21. He told us it's "my military". . . . nt

[jmowreader]

24. What did he do, kick out everyone who was in "Obama's military"?

Seriously Donald? If someone arrived at his or her basic training post the morning you were inaugurated, they'd still be in training. There's no freakin' way they're "your military."

[tonyt53]

13. I lost one once. Thankfully it only caused me to have one less ship for Battleship.

[FailureToCommunicate]

35. one "fewer" ship

(Sorry, I couldn't help myself. It's just that I'm so distraught because I seem to have misplaced MY carrier group as well...)

[mcar]

14. My only consolation is their incompetence

Even when they try to start a nuclear war, they f#@k it up.

[GP6971]

50. Let's say we launch a preemptive strike

nuke or non-nuke. My fear is that this administration is so incompetent that they would target targets in S Korea vs. N Korea. Geography isn't their strong suit.

[ananda]

16. Stick close to your tee

And never go to sea

And you may be ruler of the stray navee

[bagelsforbreakfast]

18. LOVED - the title of your post! n/m

[not fooled]

44. Charlie Pierce

is a god!

[gay texan]

19. I have!

Except I was seriously drunk and it might have been a dream.....

[Bernardo de La Paz]

20. Yet again tRump blames the US military

White House officials said on Tuesday they were relying on guidance from the Defense Department.

[Volaris]

28. Yeah I caught that too.

It can't make the Brass happy when he says things like that.

[keithbvadu2]

36. It's someone else's fault...... again and again and again

[AwakeAtLast]

47. They aren't going to let that continue

Much longer.

[Rollo]

23. Hey, it's all part of Trump not wanting to "telegraph his intentions..."

Not to NK, not to Syria, not to his own navy...

[rurallib]

26. well that's where it was in his bathtub world Saturday night

edit to add

[Guilded Lilly]

27. Eternal Cretin.

[spooky3]

29. Love Charles Pierce! Thanks for posting.

[rzemanfl]

30. Back in the 1950's I lost a submarine. It ran on baking powder and was free in a cereal box.

Last edited Tue Apr 18, 2017, 09:11 PM - Edit history (1)

It was later located under the soap in my bath. I'm sure others here have had the same experience.

[babylonsister]

32. lol!! nt

[GP6971]

37. There were

scuba divers too! Can't remember the name of the cereal though.

[rzemanfl]

39. That's right! Remember the little steam boats made of tin that were powered by a tiny

candle? You had to buy those.

[rzemanfl]

41. Kellogs something-

http://www.timepassagesnostalgia.com/&pm=0&searchkeywords=cereal+Pioneer&sin=f520

[rzemanfl]

46. Here you go.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=baking+soda+powered+frogmen&view=detail&mid=DC1B006846D1D305F6F1DC1B006846D1D305F6F1&FORM=VIRE

[GP6971]

43. From Wiki

Baking powder submarine


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Jump to: navigation, search


A baking powder submarine is a plastic toy submarine that dives and surfaces with the addition of baking powder. Baking powder submarines are sometimes misidentified as "baking soda submarines"; however, baking soda alone does not react when placed in water.


BakingPowderSub.jpg





Contents [hide]
1 History
2 Principle of operation
3 In popular culture
4 Notes
5 External links


History[edit]

In 1953 Benjamin and Harry Hirsch, two brothers in a cosmetics company, discovered that carbon dioxide gas bubbles produced in wet baking powder as part of the chemical leavening process could be used to make a toy submarine dive up and down in fresh water.

They sold their idea to the Kellogg's breakfast cereal company in 1954.[1]:34 Buoyed by the popularity of the first American atomic submarine USS Nautilus commissioned in that year, a million 4.5-inch (110 mm) plastic ship model prizes were produced by May. They were mailed out in return for a fee of 25 cents and one cereal boxtop. A smaller 2.5-inch (64 mm) version was later produced to be used as a cereal box prize not requiring separate redemption by mail

[rzemanfl]

45. Baking powder! Thank you. n/t

[jpak]

49. I had one of those!

[rzemanfl]

52. Cool. I did not have the Frogmen though. n/t

[Honeycombe8]

31. Oh, I do that all the time.

I usually find my aircraft carrier right by my keys.

[unblock]

34. the hunt for orange october?

[Amimnoch]

38. But I bet it was the most beautiful piece of

chocolate cake!


That's what counts, right?

[FailureToCommunicate]

40. Tell Trump I found it...

It was right there on the inter tubes all this time:

[kimmylavin]

48. "Camp Runamuck"

That's awesome!

[defacto7]

51. The title almost sounds biblical. nt