My memories of shows in and around NYC go back to my first show on 11-11-85. I was 15 and had pretty bad seats in the upper tier above Garcia’s head and a little behind him. From that high up, I couldn’t believe I was having my entire life and all of my thoughts shuffled by a guitarist that from that high up and slightly behind, looked like my Italian Grandma. I was instantly hooked on the experience and by intermission was trying to figure out how I could score some type of van and a camping stove so I could travel the world selling grilled cheese. The MSG shows in 87 and into the 90s that kept the Dead in one place for long runs were packed with nights that changed me forever. Nightfall of Diamonds on Weir’s birthday in 89 at the shithole known as Brendan Byrne. Giants Stadium in 91 with the Eyes opener and Dark teased throughout. I could go on forever but you know how it goes. A night that will live in my own life as much as any of those nights is 6/24/2017.
I’m having a hard time stringing thoughts together after what I just experienced. My emotions are shaken and my thoughts are competing for attention yet when I try to give any one thought the attention it’s asking for it totally withers in the spotlight of my mind. I could go through all of the songs but I feel it’s almost unnecessary. Relix and Jambands and Setlist can do that. Tonight, the music came through the band with so much authority it was clear that the orchestrator of the experience was so much larger than any of the individuals that performed it. The songs had sharp edges and the band moved together as a near perfect expression of the hive mind. There was an energy powering the experience that was evident among the musicians. At times, I think they were separated from their physical duties and watching themselves from some other cosmic place. I could be totally wrong but the cauldron had all the right ingredients. Nobody had to direct anybody else too much because everyone seemed surrendered to being directed by the moment. The absence of any individual attempting to control where the music went allowed the music to express itself without the influence of educated suggestion. I don’t know if I’m making sense to you but I’m making a shit ton of sense to me. The environment was seasoned with kind of magic that has kept me on The Bus for 32 years.
The most special thing for me was having my wife and my 8-year-old daughter with me. For my daughter Ariana, it was her first show. As I watched her experience the community I’ve called home for the first time, there was a joy that had me overwhelmed throughout. It was very strange for me to be at a show and the music being secondary to my observation of my surroundings. Ariana’s experience was my priority as opposed to being able to focus every cell of my being on each note as it’s played. While I was able to have some time focused intensely on the music, I experienced it with 40 lbs on my shoulders for much of it. When I put her down, my back was to the band a lot of the time and I experienced what was happening on stage through the reflection it made on her face. The band never looked as beautiful to me as they did during those moments. She never stopped dancing and never stopped smiling. She was experiencing Daddy’s Disney World and it was having the same impact on her that it has always had on me.
http://gratefuldean.com/the-dreams-you-still-believe-in-empty-cups-filled-to-overflowing-at-citi/
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