I only protested the ACA because the President was black (SATIRE)
I only protested the Affordable Care Act because the President was black. Please don't take away my health care
From McSweeney's humour column: Full article
Back in 2009, when the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was being debated in Congress, I was fuming with anger. How could I, a fiscal conservative, support a program that would drive down my insurance costs and cover my childs preexisting condition? It clearly was a flawed bill that would ruin small businesses.
I nearly boiled over for eight years, and rightly so. But now that President Obama has finally left office, and the Republicans want to take away my health insurance options and increase my premiums, I just want to be up front about something.
It was never about the taxes. It was always about the presidents Blackness. It was super related to his race. Arguably, completely and wholly tied to race, alright? And now that the president is normal again, Id be very grateful to be able to enjoy this health insurance and all these patient protections that have saved my small business and my childs life. So please, dont repeal the Affordable Care Act.
Can we just pretend that White people wrote the ACA and enjoy it? Like Elvis Presley, but with healthcare. Or can we just pretend to discover that it was always a part of our healthcare system? Like when you discover that youve always been able to check out National Treasure for free at the library. Yea. That. But with flawed but reasonably crafted insurance marketplaces.
In conclusion, I am sorry to everybody who I hurt complaining about death panels in 2009, the website rollout in 2013, and the corporate deep state in 2016. My bad. But cant we just keep all of these solutions now that the Black person who came up with them is gone? I hope so.
And yes, I still firmly believe Hillarycare would have been a disaster for the economy.