Tea party songstress Joyce Shaffer helps us all appreciate Chuggo's genius even more.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Last edited Thu Jul 12, 2012, 06:29 PM - Edit history (1)

Her song: "Takin' Back Our Country"

(Warning: Severe unintentional hilarity will occur)

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I especially enjoyed the four person tea-party protest (very true to life).....in the middle of a FARM.

Seriously, who holds a tea party protest in the middle of the farm?

Oh, wait....George Orwell, Animal Farm.....I get it now. Damn Leninist pigs!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

1. Oh, and I almost forgot....

....President Obama wants to outlaw hopscotch on Sundays.

That is all.

[GarroHorus]

2. Taking back their country from whom?

Oh yeah, the black guy who won the last election.

She's gonna be pissed when he wins again.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

5. Oh silly GarroHorus, America is Colorblind!

So says Joyce Shaffer and....um....all her white friends. (Her "Afro. Amer. friend" was in the shop on the day of the video.)

[Enrique]

25. Grand Junction, Colorado

African Americans: 0.6% http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Junction,_Colorado#Demographics

It's easy to be color blind when you never see any black people.

[maddezmom]

3. Holy Hell

Hopscotch, kites, family drives on Sundays, blue ribbons at the fair.

What the heck is letuceee?

[sharp_stick]

11. I was actually wondering when they disappeared

My kids still play hopscotch and they have ribbons at the fair. My wife won one last year but I think it was commie red not blue.... maybe that's what she meant?

[DCKit]

4. Honestly, you don't have to be so mean about it. There were six of 'em back there waving signs.

By Teabagger standards, that's a hell of a crowd.

[sharp_stick]

18. Yeah but they gave up

after 30 seconds, leaned on the old tractor and started chattin' about the crops or the weather so you have to take away style and enthusiasm points.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

20. It's as if the tea party's entire message died during the course of the song.....

...when they realized what a shitty singer she was, going on and on about hopscotch kites and such.

[Fire Walk With Me]

6. Can't make it past the first verse...oh the pain, the pain...

[Tommy_Carcetti]

13. JOYCE SHAFFER WILL WALK ON YOUR GRAVE, FOOL!

(Much like she walks on the grave of American Soldiers):

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That's gotta be something. You die in battle, and your eternal resting spot is desecrated by some wild eyed teabagger with a flagshirt fetish who can't sing on key.

[Fire Walk With Me]

23. You mean...you mean...SHE HAS MORE THAN ONE SONG!?

AIIIIIEEEEE

[HangOnKids]

7. For Fuck Sake

Do any of these nitwits have an ounce of fucking talent?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

10. Are you saying this lady isn't sheer talent brought forth from God?

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I challenge that assertion with her tearjerker "Tuscon" which--I shit you not--was inspired by the Gabrielle Gifford's shooting. I have no idea what the lyrics have to do with anything.

Yes, she went there.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

28. I don't really understand where she was going with that song, nor do I want to understand.

All I know is if it was meant to be call for unity after the Giffords shooting, starting off your video with the words "9% Unemployment" superimposed over 15 year old stock footage video clips of "angry family arguing" might not be the best way to do it.

[graywarrior]

8. Fuck me sideways coz I don't get it!

Her eyes freak me out.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

12. Her shirt is more American than you.

Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself:

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Damn Mex'cans.

[graywarrior]

15. She looks like an alcoholic flea-marketeer I once knew

who hacked herself to death smoking Camels.

[sharp_stick]

9. Oh man that was funny.

The four old dude teabaggers were hilarious. At the beginning they actually managed to hold up their signs. By the time they got about a minute in they were just standing back there chatting, I'm surprised Grandma didn't truck them out some lemonade and cookies.

And exactly when in the hell did this mythical "When Senators weren't bought" time period happen pray tell?

This one is just as funny and maybe a bit more pathetic.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

16. Pathetic, but Joyce can top that. How do you ask?

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Answer:

SHE'S ROCKING WITH JESUS!

Literally!!!!! JESUS CHRIST, SON OF GOD, SAVIOR OF SOULS, COMES TO HER MOTHER FUCKING PORCH AND ROCKS ON A MOTHER FUCKING ROCKING CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh why, oh why did this lady only make six videos? I could go on all day with it....

[sharp_stick]

22. That ain't Jesus

it's the Dude dude...



You're right that is more pathetic than the cute little Santorum sisters. I love all the pictures of dead people and the porch filled with presumably dead folks plus one guy in a tri-corner hat, he probably bought that for a teabagger rally.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

24. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fuck Jesus.

[sharp_stick]

27. I couldn't sleep one night a few months ago

so I went downstairs and tossed this DVD in. It wasn't long before my bleary eyed wife is glaring at me from 1/2 down the stairs... Stop laughing so loud you're going to wake up the kids.

[frylock]

30. 8-year olds, dude

[Tommy_Carcetti]

31. What's a pederast, Walter?

[frylock]

34. shutup, donny

[HarveyDarkey]

14. What is this "our country" you speak of?

[Blue Owl]

17. Takin' It To The Beets...

n/t

[Enrique]

19. Obama does not understand our humble, traditional rural values

so we should "take our country back" by voting for Mitt Romney.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

21. Oh, come on. Anyone who's seen that picture knows....

....Mitt and friends are going to fold those dollar bills into kites and fly them, all while playing hopscotch after taking a Sunday drive, which will become legal again after Obama is defeated.

[Monk06]

32. That's an outtake from Hee Haw !!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

33. Jesus Christ in a rocking chair, cut the woman some slack!

All she wants is for us to be able to play hopscotch, and fly kites, and for there to be no black people, and to take Sunday drives.

Who doesn't want all of those things, dammit! Well, except for the no black people part. But honestly. Under Obama, the freedom to hopscotch has been abolished. Abolished!