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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsAfter months of bullying, a 12-year-old New Jersey girl killed herself. Her parents blame the school
Excellent! Sue them all the way!!!!!! Seems to be the only way some listen, if money is involved!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/08/02/after-months-of-bullying-a-12-year-old-new-jersey-girl-killed-herself-her-parents-blame-the-school/
She was a loser and had no friends, they told her. At one point, according to an attorney for Mallorys family, the girls even asked her, Why dont you kill yourself?
In the classrooms and hallways of her middle school in Rockaway Township, N.J., a group of sixth grade girls continued to torment her. They would tease Mallory, give her dirty looks and snub her, shooing her away from their lunch table.
The taunts, her parents say, soon took a toll on the lively young cheerleader and gymnast. At school, Mallorys grades deteriorated. At home, she complained of constant headaches and stomach pain. She begged to stay home from school.
After the bullying began in October of last year, Mallorys parents spoke to her teachers, counselors and school administrators along with the students parents pleading with them to help put an end to the ugliness.
Then, on June 14, Mallory took her own life. The manner of death was not disclosed.
pnwmom
(108,994 posts)I can't understand the parents of the offenders.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)pnwmom
(108,994 posts)but I would hate it if one of my children were unkind.
Initech
(100,102 posts)At least when I was in middle and high school, bullies had their limits. Which were when school starts and when school ends. Now they don't have that - and they can stalk with endless limits. I'd hate to see what kids have to endure now with Twitter, Facebook, and all the other social media crap where anyone can bully anonymously and leave death threats.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)bus stop that was always trying to break my arm. None did anything. My mother complained to the school, but it fell on death ears. Eventually he just went away. Yes, the kids today must have a horrible time of it. Absolutely horrible. I often think our society is very backward in being civil. Certainly better than eons past, but so many people just have a strong desire to be bigots and haters. I think it's endemic to the human species, ingrained in many, survival of the fittest and all of that. And someone like tRump coasts into office on bigotry and hatred. Yes, the promise of jobs, but I think that was cemented with bigotry and hatred.
Initech
(100,102 posts)And the parents and teachers are baffled as to what to do. I mean if this guy is their role model, who's their enemy?
https://www.buzzfeed.com/albertsamaha/kids-are-quoting-trump-to-bully-their-classmates?bftw&utm_term=.yl2nYP4a5#.dcvDVaZkx
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)see him as their role model. That, is how truly F'ed up the US is. How we went from Obama in the WH to this ass is unbelievable. I seriously do wonder about the future of the US as Trumpism takes roots. About a 1/3 of this country has truly disturbed emotions and behavior in a supposedly civilized country. Reading the article, I seriously wonder when Trump will start "Trump Youth Camps!"
Calculating
(2,957 posts)We even elected one as president. Bullying is thought to be a rite of passage for kids to go through in school, and none of the teachers or parents ever do anything about it.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)sometime disgusting! And, I think some teachers and parents see it as a form of entertainment. Some people take pictures of others dying and do nothing to help them. FFS!
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Her parents must be devastated. What on earth is wrong with kids these days? When I grew up there was the usual teasing and stuff, but nothing like what I have been hearing about lately. It's beyond cruel.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)B2G
(9,766 posts)They just have unlimited ways to torment now because of social media and the universal access to cell phones. And thousands can witness the bullying online and egg it on, which makes it all the more devastating.
Kids haven't changed. Technology has.
Mariana
(14,860 posts)before social media and cell phones came into existence. That is just not true. You're absolutely right, the kids haven't changed at all.
B2G
(9,766 posts)honestly, what is the school supposed to do about snap chats, texts and Instagram posts that go on outside of school? And dirty looks and hushed comments in a hallway? Really hard to police. Kids are sneaky as hell.
Schools can only do so much. This is on the kids' parents. And while I'm not blaming the parents of the deceased child, I really question why they didn't forbid her to access social media. If the bullies knew she couldn't see what they were posting, it might have discouraged it. It's no fun if you get no reaction.
Sad all around.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)often a cesspool IMO.
I'm so glad that crap wasn't around when my kids were that age. They didn't even have cellphones until they were like 16 and started working.
There is no reason for a middle school kid to have a smart phone.
gratuitous
(82,849 posts)From my own experience back in the Jurassic Period, getting the grown-ups involved just made matters worse. I've seen districts where there is a peer review board with a faculty overseer and students themselves handling disputes. I don't know how effective it is, but doing something seems preferable to doing nothing, particularly when students are committing suicide.
I thought the Third Lady was taking this sort of thing on as her special project? Has she issued a statement about this?
B2G
(9,766 posts)that wouldn't be met with a flood of online derision. Which IMO is a form of bullying in itself. What great examples we are for our children, huh? And we wonder where they get it from. It's fine if you hate the target of your wrath, then all is excused.
That platform has been effectively taken away from her.
gratuitous
(82,849 posts)Their political platform depends on it, which is why any efforts by Melania Trump would be discounted as a cynical ploy to appear sympathetic to the victims of bullying.
B2G
(9,766 posts)But no one seems to know how to stop this behavior in children. It starts with parents leading by example. We cannot teach our children that it's not OK to post abhorrent things about people online if we do it ourselves.
Don't believe me? I see it here all the time. Name calling, denigrating people's appearances, etc. And Twitter is DU on steroids.
gratuitous
(82,849 posts)It won't happen again.
Mariana
(14,860 posts)She needed a break. I understand it is difficult to do that, but I think in extreme cases like this it has to be done. It doesn't have to be forever. The child was being made physically ill from the stress of going to school. That was a clue that the child was in serious trouble mentally as well. Of course they should have taken the cell phone away and restricted her internet use as well.
Drahthaardogs
(6,843 posts)The stuff off campus is not
B2G
(9,766 posts)all day, every day. Especially if the bullying is very subtle within the school walls.
This is on the parents.
Drahthaardogs
(6,843 posts)Especially if the child said nothing to the administrators. Even if they did, with social media it's impossible to expect teachers to police this. Parents need to parent.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)I don't understand watching your child suffer for that long and that horribly, but still allow her to go to that school.
B2G
(9,766 posts)why they continued to let her carry a cell phone and continue to use social media.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)signs building up, but then we don't know all the details.
Kaleva
(36,342 posts)Day after day this poor child was sent off to be mentally and emotionally tortured until she finally couldn't take it anymore. Hell, she begged to stay home!
jonno99
(2,620 posts)Kaleva
(36,342 posts)She begged to stay home, was complaining of headaches and stomach aches but they kept sending her to school.
jonno99
(2,620 posts)kids was telling me the same story of bullying and exhibiting symptoms of headaches, etc, I would be on the war-path.
Kaleva
(36,342 posts)And I agree with you. Id also be on the warpath if something like that was happening to one of mine. Talk to the other parents, talk to the school, remove the child from such a hostile enviroment until tge issue was resolved and have total control of the child's access to social media.
jonno99
(2,620 posts)IMHO, give the kid a phone to MAKE A PHONE CALL - if the need arises. Data plans are expensive and provide an unnecessary distraction for kids that age.
That being said, the school should have made a much greater effort to stop the bullying.
hexola
(4,835 posts)Of course not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wasn't cyberbullying her "cause" as FL...?
Snackshack
(2,541 posts)Growing up with a slight birth defect (missing some fingers on rt hand) I can say from experience that grades 1-6 were the worst by far for being picked on, made fun of...bullying. Everyday it went on and thank the powers that be that at the time (late 70's, early 80's) I was living with my great grandmother. Everyday I woke up dreading going to school and everyday I came home absolutely depressed and dejected. My grandmother would always tell me the rhyme "Sticks and Stones". It was some of the best advice I ever got...it is only words.
Back when I was dealing with bullying that rhyme worked wonders for me but that was a different time. I only had to deal with the bullying for a few hours each day. Today with social media bullying goes on 24hrs day. Not sure if the advice grandma gave would work for me today...but that rhyme is still good advice IMO.