Visibly shaken Trump reduced to calling supporters and asking if their refrigerator is running

[Miles Archer]

Bedminster NJ - White House staffers confirm that Paramedics were rushed to President Donald Trump's plush golf in Bedminster earlier today when he was discovered randomly dialing his supporters, asking them if their refrigerator was running, and if they confirmed that it was, shouting "WELL, YOU'D BETTER CATCH IT!" before cackling endlessly.

It is also being reported that he asked the recipients of his calls if they had Prince Albert in a can, as well as "What are you if your nose runs and your feet smell?"

In an exclusive interview, the President's new Communications Director, Hope Hicks, told CNN's Jake Tapper that the calls were part of an undercover "sting" procedure closely related to First Lady Melania Trump's Anti-CyberBullying Task Force. "There are some real bad apples out there, and the President, on behalf of the First Lady, is trying to engage them in deceptively friendly and ultimately incriminating conversations." When asked what the phone calls had to do with online activity, and why the President didn't simply set up his "sting" operation online, Hicks replied "I think the President made himself perfectly clear." When pressed for further details, Hicks referred reporters to White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who replied "I think the President made himself perfectly clear." Still unsatisfied, questions were directed to Kellyanne Conway, who replied "I think the President made himself perfectly clear," before adding "Russia, Russia, RUSSIA!"

General John Kelly, Trump's current Chief of Staff, had a different take on the matter. "This is the most high-pressured job in the world. Recent events such as the demonstrations in Charlottesville and Boston, plus the terminations and resignations of many White House staffers, have left the President in need of some good, innocent fun. While some Americans may balk at the idea of the President spending his time making prank phone calls, I can tell you that at least 35% of all registered voters are absolute;y delighted, cheering him on, and anxiously looking forward to perhaps one day getting one of those calls themselves."

Anthony Scaramucci could not be reached for comments.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

1. Did you write this? Did you "forget" to post a link and attribution?

[Miles Archer]

7. I wrote this

I usually post "No link yet....breaking news" as the clue to the fact I wrote it, but forgot to do that this time.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

10. Thanks. Good work. I was confused because you had put it in an Excerpt block,

I usually think some text in an excerpt block is excerpted from elsewhere. I was wondering if it was by Borowitz!

"No link yet ... breaking news" would also make me think it was excerpted from somewhere.

May I suggest just posting straight & clear any material you write, like we usually do for posts we write. In the case of material like this, embed some definitive clue that it is satire, like a tag or emoticon or (as I'd do in a case like this) writing something like "White House staffers confirm (not) that {...}".

But in any case, keep up the good writing.

[Miles Archer]

11. I normally do this, outside of the block:

Breaking News...no link yet

...and I also put it outside of the block, at the top, but I forgot it this time. The block is deliberate to make it look as legit as possible.

Thanks again.

[thbobby]

2. Satire?

I believe this is satirical. But it says a lot about POTUS that I don't know this is satire.

If I had heard this about President Obama, I would know.

Still, even though it is satire, it is humorous.

[JDC]

3. Humor is the point of satire I think...

Definately satire, yes

[WinkyDink]

5. Seriously? You don't know??

[thbobby]

6. Yeah, I knew

But still, so much of what Trump has done defies what I ever expected from a POTUS. It did take reading the entire post and thinking about for a couple of seconds though.

[Miles Archer]

8. Yes, satire, my own little contribution to fake news

Every time I write one of these I try to keep it as close to the "possible" as i can, so thank you for your comments, because that's the target I aim for with posts like this.

[JDC]

4. Really good

[Miles Archer]

9. Thank you....

[smirkymonkey]

12. Nice work!

I thought it was The Onion!