The Rude Pundit: Alabama Gut Check

[babylonsister]

http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2017/11/alabama-gut-check.html
The Rude Pundit
Proudly lowering the level of political discourse
11/13/2017

Alabama Gut Check


Hey, Alabama, Rude Pundit here. Listen:

snip//

You are at a crossroads right now with the candidacy of Roy Moore for the U.S. Senate. As of now, Moore is accused of:

-Forcing a 14-year-old girl to fondle his dick through his underwear while he fondled her through hers.
-Trying to force a 16-year-old girl to give him a blow job in his parked car.
-Skeeving on teenage girls so much as a 30something year-old man that a mall in Gadsden, which, c'mon, Alabama, that is pretty much the Alabama-est place in Alabama (except for maybe Dothan), that people talked about Moore being banned from the place in the early 1980s.

snip//

Roy Moore was a District Attorney when he was trying to deflower young white girls. That motherfucker held that over those girls. He said to Beverly Young Nelson, after he tried to get her to suck his dick, "You're just a child and I am the District Attorney of Etowah County, and if you tell anyone about this, no one will ever believe you." How would you like him talking to your sister like that? What kind of man is that? The kind of man who will use his power to crush the little people, like you. The kind of man who takes advantage of people who can't fight him.

Well, now you can. You can vote against him. You can stand up to someone who is a bully. You can demand he get out of the race. You can vote for the Democrat, Doug Jones, as honorable a man as you'll find in these filthy times. Or you can just stay home.

And don't believe the people who tell you that you can vote for Moore and he'll be expelled from the Senate, which would let your governor appoint someone. Do you trust Congress that much?

It's a gut check, Alabama. You can prove everyone wrong, or you can just keep being fuckin' Alabama, with your shit education system, your shit health care, your shit economy, and your shit government.

Whether you believe in it or not, it's time to evolve, motherfuckers.

[Brainstormy]

1. the pundit has a rare trio of skills

he can write, think, and swear better than anybody.

[Solly Mack]

2. K&R

[keithbvadu2]

3. Remember... all those Christian mothers gave their ok for him to date the daughters.

Remember... all those Christian mothers gave their ok for him to date the daughters.

[haele]

6. He was single and well off. They were figuring he was going to marry the girl.

And then she could take care of her momma...

Back in the late 80's, Spouse was a 2nd time around college student living with his mom, having flaked out of U of A, and just made it through one enlistment in the Air Force before coming back home to Alabama and switching jobs every year. Spouse had a very well off father living in Texas (USAA exec), but FIL was tired of the money drain and decided he was not going to bail Spouse out any more.
Long story short, everyone in the community still knew FIL was wealthy, and pretty much figured that since Spouse was the only son, he must have access to that wealth.
When Spouse's first wife found him in the local community college and decided to marry him, her step-father got just a teensy too drunk at the wedding, and actually asked him at the reception "So when are we going to start seeing some of that <Last Name Here> money? I've got a few business proposals he might like."

As Jane Austin observed "A single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife..."
And it's understood in certain "cultures" that a normal man would never want a wife who already knows what she wants to do in life, he wants a wife who he can shape and mold to his own liking.

Haele

[keithbvadu2]

10. Jane Austin knew about Duck Dynasty.

[haele]

11. And she had some very genteely disapproving words about that sort of thing.

People who like to pretend they're the center of the universe, with little sense and no sensibility.

Haele

[Leith]

4. Absolutely!

Alabama now has the choice: vote for Moore and prove yourselves to be the worst stereotype others have of you -

or

- vote for a good person who is intelligent, moral, and qualified even if he puts the wrong letter after his name.

It's up to you, Alabama. Fuck this up and it will be a generation before people stop hearing the opening strains of Dueling Banjos every time they think of your state.

I apologize for offending our DU members from Alabama. We know that there are intelligent and decent people in your state and you have no way of influencing how others vote. There are men who prey on vulnerable teenagers in every state - but they aren't having elections to send such a predator to the Senate right now. This is national news and the outcome is the difference between night and day.

[Aristus]

5. RUDE LOUISE PUNDIT!

Well said...

[smirkymonkey]

7. Bravo!

[ProfessorGAC]

8. Boy, That Was A Particularly Good One By The Rude One

A metaphorical shiv in the back.

[Mr. Evil]

9. I would absolutely bet everything I own if

Nick Saban (Alabama Crimson Tide football coach) held a press conference and stated unequivocally that they either get rid of Roy Moore or he would resign as Alabama football coach. Roy Moore would be gone and forgotten in less than a minute.

[Old Crank]

12. Yes

and YESSSS again