Breitbart drools all over "fearless warrior" Trump: "His bottomless quiver is never empty."

[highplainsdem]

There was an exercrable pseudo-classical bit of poet-hyped dreck masquerading as an ode to Trump about a year ago that got some attention here because it was so ludicrous in its pathetically obsequious attempts to flatter the Moron-in-Chief.

Breitbart may have actually outdone it, dug deeper into a vat of slavishness to come up with what is now the top headline at their site, a new standard in brown-nosing written by Charles Hurt:

The Nuclear Option: Trump Proves Himself a Fearless Warrior Sticking with Moore

And of course there's a picture of a nuclear mushroom cloud, in case little Donnie needs the help of pictures to get through reading anything, as various stories leaked by his staff say he does.

You can bet Bannon will see to it that Cheeto Jesus gets to see this paean to his "fearlessness":

At some point, every warrior eventually runs out of arrows. His armor wears thin yet grows heavier still. He must lay down his weary helmeted head for rest.

Even Coriolanus was forced to retreat — at the behest of his mother.

Not so Donald Trump.
Not a weary drop of blood pumps through the man’s veins. He wears his thick armor light as skin. His bottomless quiver is never empty.

Fearlessly, President Trump sauntered away from his wife and son into the presence of his enemies. As casually as Clint Eastwood dispatching a horse thief, Mr. Trump laid waste to the media’s carefully choreographed plot to wrest the U.S. Senate away from Republicans and somehow smear the president with an accused child molester.

-snip-

No, I'm not going to post the link. You can go to Breitbart to read it, or find it easily googling the author's name and the headline.

The amazing feat of valor Breitbart is lauding Trump for is his criticizing Doug Jones for not being a conservative, and reminding the media that Moore has denied the allegations against him.

But oh, it was so dramatic!

Trump was speaking with "his glamorous family standing behind him, untouched by all the slime, magazine-ready against the autumnal leaves."

And Breitbart veers away from the classical warrior imagery of helmet and armor and quiver to evoke Wild West gunslingers, not just with that Clint Eastwood reference but by later describing Trump with "his overcoat flapping carelessly in the wind like a cowboy’s duster."

What, no comparison to Star Wars? Or is Breitbart reserving the Star Wars analogies for Bannon?

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029520776


Anyway, as journalism or even commentary, this piece from Breitbart is pure crap. But Trump will eat it up.

[JDC]

1. Pure Douche-Baggery style writing. Perfect for their readers

[tblue37]

2. His quivering bottom is never empty. nt

[tanyev]

3. There's certainly no end to the bullshit flowing out of that bottomless quiver.

[C_U_L8R]

4. Oh please, he's a buffoon

The only thing bottomless are the peeing hookers in his hotel room

[VOX]

5. If your quiver is in fact bottomless, it's therefore ALWAYS empty.

Your bottomless quiver would leave a trail of fallen arrows behind you. And fucking hell, this reads like a homoerotic bromance novel:
"As the sculpted god that is our fearless warrior-chieftain approached me, he let slip his loincloth as if he were unveiling an idealized sculpture of a gladiator. It was clear that not a weary drop of blood pumped through the man’s veins. I was as fearful as I was enthralled, to see such power in the flesh. Then it struck me, like a jagged lightning bolt knifing through the night sky: his bottomless quiver is never empty."

[highplainsdem]

6. +1,000,000

[left-of-center2012]

7. Trump is the great warrior ?

His heel spurs had him showing up in Vietnam 50 years late.

[Denzil_DC]

8. If his quiver's bottomless, won't all his arrows fall out and his quiver always empty?

Never could figure alt-right logic.

Anyway, quiver and bottom are two words I never want to see again in a sentence that also contains the word Trump unless it's a graphic description of these tapes everyone's going on about. I'll be seriously grossed out, but it'll probably be worth it.