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(15,921 posts)
Sun Dec 29, 2019, 01:54 PM Dec 2019

Sweethearts Forever. Then Came Alzheimer's, Murder and Suicide.

It began almost playfully, like tiny hiccups in her mind. She would forget she had already changed the sheets and change them again, or repeat a thought in the same breath.

Then the illness amplified.

She grew confused by everyday tasks. Became convinced her parents were still alive and insisted upon a visit. At social gatherings, she was anxious and fearful. She forgot how to sew and cross-stitch. Forgot the faces of her children.

She did remember her name. Alma Shaver. But not her age. Eighty.

And sometimes, she did not know her husband.


Alzheimers is a terrible affliction. And the Trump administration is busy cutting scientific research.

9 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Sweethearts Forever. Then Came Alzheimer's, Murder and Suicide. (Original Post) Zorro Dec 2019 OP
Reality my Friends,Reality. Wellstone ruled Dec 2019 #1
My mother is in an assisted care facility Zorro Dec 2019 #4
Local Assisted Living in the BIL's area Wellstone ruled Dec 2019 #5
It's $9K per month where my mom is MissMillie Dec 2019 #6
Thanks for the feed back. Wellstone ruled Dec 2019 #7
We started preparing early MissMillie Dec 2019 #8
Well aware of doing a Trust. Wellstone ruled Dec 2019 #9
Didn't Reagan do something similar? NEOBuckeye Dec 2019 #2
K and R.. Stuart G Dec 2019 #3

Wellstone ruled

(34,661 posts)
1. Reality my Friends,Reality.
Sun Dec 29, 2019, 02:18 PM
Dec 2019

Dementia is another situation that combined with Alzheimer's is down right ugly. We have a BIL in the early stages of this combination. And his is a Widower with only one remaining Family member left to deal with his Mental issues.

Sad part is,there are not enough in Home Health Care Persons in his Rural Area to help his Daughter with his care. And Confined Care(nursing home)withing a hundred miles is booked solid with waiting lists. BTW,6k per month is the new rates versus 4500 two years ago.


(15,921 posts)
4. My mother is in an assisted care facility
Sun Dec 29, 2019, 05:10 PM
Dec 2019

Probably half the staff there are foreign born.

I must say I have tremendous respect for those who work in such facilities; it's a job I wouldn't be able to handle.


Wellstone ruled

(34,661 posts)
5. Local Assisted Living in the BIL's area
Sun Dec 29, 2019, 05:46 PM
Dec 2019

are staffed with mostly local off farm wives. This is not a area where Foreign Workers,unless they were from Norway or Sweden would survive. Trump Country. Sad to say.


(38,734 posts)
6. It's $9K per month where my mom is
Mon Dec 30, 2019, 01:53 PM
Dec 2019

It's the only facility w/ an Alzheimer's/Dementia ward.

That's $300 per day.

The staff where my mom is are quite good, though they don't seem to have the knack of motivating her to get up/washed/dressed, even though she is still capable of doing so (with help). They monitor her vital signs, her calories and her activities. The food is okay, and the place is clean.

This family expense of ours is not coming out of pocket, thank goodness.

When you stop to think about it, some people can pay that for a hotel room and think nothing of it.

A lot of people who can afford that kind of luxury would balk at having their taxes raised to help people who have the necessity of this care.


Wellstone ruled

(34,661 posts)
7. Thanks for the feed back.
Mon Dec 30, 2019, 02:16 PM
Dec 2019

9k,yes I know of a couple in BIL's area that are in this range. The one I reffered too is a Community Owned Facility,which is quite common in Rural Midwestern Farm Communities.

The BIL's Estate would have to be burned through first before any SS our other Social Programs are used. The new Claw Back rules pretty much dictate the Niece burn his Estate first,including Land and Buildings before applying for any State or Fed programs.

Irony,we warned the Niece that this would happen. Being a softy that she is,and knowing she is the last survivor of the Family,she is having to face Reality big time. My guess is,we will be spending next Summer prepping for a major Auction of the BIL's Personal Holdings include his Home and Acreage. Kind of got this type of thing down some what. This will be round number three.


(38,734 posts)
8. We started preparing early
Mon Dec 30, 2019, 02:21 PM
Dec 2019

When the signs first started showing, my parents' financial resources were put into trust. There wasn't a whole lot of money, but it would have been gone after a few short months. The folks sold the house to my sister a few years back (a 2-family home that she and my folks live(d) in). Everything went into a trust.

It cost a bit in legal fees, but it saved so much in the long run.


Wellstone ruled

(34,661 posts)
9. Well aware of doing a Trust.
Mon Dec 30, 2019, 02:40 PM
Dec 2019

The Claw Back provisions have changed in the Trump Tax Give away. In the first two mentioned cases,we were dealing with different rules as far as Asset Protection. In talking to a local Tax Attorney in the BIL's area,to late to do a remainder Trust. Buildings and Acreage will be Transferred into the Niece's name as well as household items. His Financial Holdings will have to stay in place for know.

The signs of Dementia and Alzheimer surfaced two weeks ago as a result of redrawal from Opioid base Pain meds that he had been consuming under a doctors care for more than thirty years. We got a call at 2 am and we could hear the tell tale signs just from the Out bursts going on in the back ground.


(2,785 posts)
2. Didn't Reagan do something similar?
Sun Dec 29, 2019, 03:57 PM
Dec 2019

Karma and irony in the fact that he died from Alzheimer’s.

Trump seems hell-bent on repeating history.

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