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'The most intense violation of my life': Beloved camp, lost boy and impact of child sexual trauma
'The most intense violation of my life': A beloved camp, a lost boy and the lifelong impact of child sexual trauma
Alia E. Dastagir, USA TODAY
Published 6:01 AM EST Jan. 10, 2022 | Updated 11:57 AM EST Jan. 15, 2022
When Peter Wien was 10 years old, he started biting his hand, gnawing on it almost daily, his mouth sculpting the soft skin between his thumb and index finger into an arched callus. Occasionally, he broke flesh. Biting was how Peter managed what was happening at camp.
He doesn't remember how the abuse began, only the way it persisted – in the cabin in the afternoon, above the barn, when walking to the lake. He remembers the time the counselor guided him through the trees, took off both their clothes and perpetrated the abuse of which so many don't speak, the abuse we lock inside.
Peter remembers the clearing they would go to and the mossy spot where they would lie, surrounded by the furrowed bark of Sugar Maples and the elephant skin of American Beech. Deeper in the forest around them, trees absorbed the dampness of shadows as confusion ballooned in Peter's belly. Peter remembers climbing the ladder to the barn's loft where costumes were stored for shows, the ball in his throat when he realized the counselor had followed. He can still feel the unsettling abruptness of those moments after the counselor would stop, the unease of all that was left unsaid and unknown.
Peter said the abuse occurred over multiple summers in the late 1950s at Vermont's Camp Najerog, where parents sent their sons for an education on the outdoors. It would split Peter into the boy he deserved to be and the one he would become. The abuse he recalls, and the lingering questions about what the camp did and did not know, what the adults around him did and did not do, would come to define every aspect of Peter's life.
{snip}
Peter is not alone. If you've had an experience like Peter's and want to share your story, email adastagir@usatoday.com.
If you are a survivor of sexual assault, RAINN offers support through the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org).
MenHealing provides resources and services for adult males who have been sexually victimized during childhood or as adults. You can visit their website for more information (menhealing.org) or follow MenHealing on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
The Boston Area Rape Crisis Center provides free, confidential support and services to survivors of sexual violence ages 12 and up and to their families and friends. Visit their website at barcc.org, call their 24/7 hotline at 800-841-8371 or chat online from 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. at barcc.org/chat.
Published 6:01 AM EST Jan. 10, 2022 Updated 11:57 AM EST Jan. 15, 2022
Alia E. Dastagir, USA TODAY
Published 6:01 AM EST Jan. 10, 2022 | Updated 11:57 AM EST Jan. 15, 2022
When Peter Wien was 10 years old, he started biting his hand, gnawing on it almost daily, his mouth sculpting the soft skin between his thumb and index finger into an arched callus. Occasionally, he broke flesh. Biting was how Peter managed what was happening at camp.
He doesn't remember how the abuse began, only the way it persisted – in the cabin in the afternoon, above the barn, when walking to the lake. He remembers the time the counselor guided him through the trees, took off both their clothes and perpetrated the abuse of which so many don't speak, the abuse we lock inside.
Peter remembers the clearing they would go to and the mossy spot where they would lie, surrounded by the furrowed bark of Sugar Maples and the elephant skin of American Beech. Deeper in the forest around them, trees absorbed the dampness of shadows as confusion ballooned in Peter's belly. Peter remembers climbing the ladder to the barn's loft where costumes were stored for shows, the ball in his throat when he realized the counselor had followed. He can still feel the unsettling abruptness of those moments after the counselor would stop, the unease of all that was left unsaid and unknown.
Peter said the abuse occurred over multiple summers in the late 1950s at Vermont's Camp Najerog, where parents sent their sons for an education on the outdoors. It would split Peter into the boy he deserved to be and the one he would become. The abuse he recalls, and the lingering questions about what the camp did and did not know, what the adults around him did and did not do, would come to define every aspect of Peter's life.
{snip}
Peter is not alone. If you've had an experience like Peter's and want to share your story, email adastagir@usatoday.com.
If you are a survivor of sexual assault, RAINN offers support through the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org).
MenHealing provides resources and services for adult males who have been sexually victimized during childhood or as adults. You can visit their website for more information (menhealing.org) or follow MenHealing on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
The Boston Area Rape Crisis Center provides free, confidential support and services to survivors of sexual violence ages 12 and up and to their families and friends. Visit their website at barcc.org, call their 24/7 hotline at 800-841-8371 or chat online from 9:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. at barcc.org/chat.
Published 6:01 AM EST Jan. 10, 2022 Updated 11:57 AM EST Jan. 15, 2022
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