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Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars' (the Onion)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/romney-apologizes-to-nations-150-million-starving,29603/SALT LAKE CITYSeeking to limit the fallout from a videotaped speech in which he asserts 47 percent of Americans pay no taxes and do not take personal responsibility and care for their lives, Mitt Romney hastily called a press conference today to apologize personally to the 150 million starving, filthy beggars [he] might have offended.
Saying that he deeply regretted his choice of words at a private $50,000-a-plate fundraising function in Mayduring which he argued [his] job is not to worry about the lower-earning half of the nations populaceRomney personally appealed to the countrys dirt-caked garbage pickers and toothless street urchins for forgiveness.
First and foremost, I would like to offer a heartfelt apology to all the whores, junkies, bums, and grime-covered derelicts out there who make up nearly half our nation, a visibly contrite and solemn Romney said outside a campaign stop at a local high school. Let me assure you that I in no way meant to offend any of the putrid-smelling, barefoot masses out there. My campaign is not about dividing this nation, but about bringing all sides togetherthe rich, elegant members of the upper class, as well as the 47 percent who are covered in flies and eat directly from back-alley dumpsters.
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Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars' (the Onion) (Original Post)
swag
Sep 2012
OP
ChairmanAgnostic
(28,017 posts)1. Poor Onion. Romney & Co. have made their job so much harder.
freshwest
(53,661 posts)2. Will be posted on Freeperville as: 'Romney tells the Truth about Demon-Rats!'
Freddie
(9,265 posts)3. If you didn't know it was the Onion
It's pretty close to something he'd actually say. Definitely what he's thinking.
"A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." Since Mitt dosen't drink I'd love to hear the true unfiltered Mitt...here it is!
alterfurz
(2,474 posts)4. and once again...