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(9,256 posts)
Sat Dec 23, 2017, 08:15 AM Dec 2017

Meet the Parents

We have 2 children.
Laurie, 31, is the one I never worry about. She's an RN, working on her MSN, teaches new nurses at a nearby hospital. Married to Steve, a great guy, and mother of our two wonderful little grandkids. She's smarter (and makes more $) than either of us.
Tom is a whole other story. Handsome, smart, articulate - and a recovering heroin addict. Started with pills when he was in HS and eventually, like so many of them, switched to cheaper heroin. (Our small PA town is infested). This was off and on for 6 years, during which he managed to get a BA in Life Science from Penn State. He originally wanted to be a science teacher but couldn't handle student teaching while being a drug addict. Inpatient rehab twice during this time - he is alive because I have good insurance. First time at 20 didn't take at all. Second time at 23 he stayed clean for 9 months, during which time he finished his degree and got a good job at a local bank. Then he got sucked into it again, lost his job, had a car accident while high...a true nightmare time, 2 years ago. His dad and I told him he had one more chance at rehab while he was still 25 and on my insurance.
This time, so far, it's working. He's clean almost 2 years. Decided to move to Florida to get away from this drug-infested town and his dealer "friends". He hooked up with a good, reputable rehab down there where he now works FT as a discharge coordinator. Has his own apartment and a cat. Goes to NA meetings and he's a sponsor as well. And now, he's in love.
They say, in recovery, don't start a new relationship until you're clean for a year. A year and 3 months in he met Jennifer, who also works at the rehab. She's clean 2.5 years. She's gorgeous, his age, they're inseparable. She had a similar journey with drugs and plans on finishing her college degree which got interrupted much like Tom's did. He told his sister he wants to marry her. I am thrilled he found a great partner.
Our family is pretty political and we're all on the same page including Tom. So we've never had a "what to do with the RWNJ uncle at the holidays" issue before. Tom and Jennifer are coming home next week and we are meeting her parents over dinner at our house. (She's from Ohio but has relatives fairly nearby). I just found out that her dad is a Trump fan...thank God they live in Ohio.
In the interest of peace DH and I will carefully avoid politics at the dinner table and will change the subject if necessary. I understand they are just as happy as we are about Tom and Jennifer and I want it to stay that way. But knowing the dad is a RWNJ has put a little damper on the menu planning etc. Help.

5 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Meet the Parents (Original Post) Freddie Dec 2017 OP
Just feed them crow mercuryblues Dec 2017 #1
Turkey, actually Freddie Dec 2017 #2
Anything is better than red meat mercuryblues Dec 2017 #3
Look at it this way. blaze Dec 2017 #4
You've got it figured out beautifully. Laffy Kat Dec 2017 #5


(9,256 posts)
2. Turkey, actually
Sat Dec 23, 2017, 10:04 AM
Dec 2017

DH got a free turkey from work so we are having Thanksgiving Part II. I've been reassured they are not vegetarian, gluten-free, etc.
Tom suggested I do NOT take the "Repeal and Replace the GOP" sticker off my car or the "Hate Has No Home Here" sign out of the front yard. They can know where we stand without discussing it. The cute little grandchildren will be there as a distraction.


(6,341 posts)
4. Look at it this way.
Sun Dec 24, 2017, 09:36 AM
Dec 2017

It's an opportunity to NOT think or talk about politics! We ALL need that break from time to time.

The grand kids will be a wonderful distraction.

Having some games available... cards, Clue, Mouse Trap, a card table with a jigsaw puzzle to putter with... Or even a crafty kind of activity (making and decorating cookies?)... These could all help to steer conversation away.

At any rate, I've VERY happy to read that your son is doing so well!

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