That colonoscopy prep...

[LuckyCharms]

kinda sneaks up on you.

[yagotme]

1. Never stray too far from the toidy... n/t

[LuckyCharms]

5. Now you tell me.

[yagotme]

16. Sorrryyyyyyy...

[ancianita]

21. Don't even get off it. Just get a good book and a pillow. It's an hours-long ordeal.

[unblock]

2. i dunno. the 16 tall glasses of insanely salty ick is a bit of a hint.

[Roland99]

3. Reminds me. I need to call back to schedule my first one

How much fun am I looking forward to?

[LuckyCharms]

4. Well, this is my 5th one...

I never thought it was as bad as people say.

You have to drink 4 liters of clear, but mildly bad tasting stuff. It's not horrible, but it's not good either...kind of salty. 8 ounces every 10 minutes. Half at night before, half at morning of. 4 liters is a hair over a gallon.

It doesn't really make you cramp up, it just gives you the runs.

You will get through it just fine.

For the first 3 procedures I had, I fell completely asleep and only woke up at the end. For the most recent one, the drugs were not enough to knock me out and I stayed awake the whole time and talked to the doctor. You can watch it on the screen, see him snip off the polyps, etc. There is absolutely no pain with the procedure EXCEPT for when they pump the air inside you. They do this to expand your colon throughout the procedure. This tends to hurt, but it is a simple gas pain. The doctor said just to let it out, and when you do, the pain leaves. Again, the pain is not anything you can't handle, but it is uncomfortable. You probably won't have to be concerned with this, because most people fall asleep.

Good luck!

[Dave Starsky]

20. You can mix it with Yellow Lemonade Crystal Light.

Two packets for the 4-Liter version.

Makes it taste exactly like Gatorade.

I encourage everyone to do this.

[dixiegrrrrl]

8. The prep is the worst part.

and that can be made easier.
had mine done recently.

From what i am reading all over DU and the web, there seems to be different prep drinks, and various timing directions.
I took someone's advice and ate very light for 48 hours before The Day.
On the day before the exam, which they have scheduled usually bright and early in the am, the day before NO solid food, no colored food..any food dyes will cause a problem.
If the prep is not complete, they will not do the exam.
I did drink lightly off and on the broth from chicken noodle soup, which is actually a bit filling.

You are supposed to start early the day before with prepping. and supposed to drink a LOT of water.
My written directions were to eat a dose of laxatives, the choc. flavored type, at 11 am.
I should have done that earlier, as it turned out.
Takes those things a few hours to work.
then at 1 am I was supposed to drink at least one bottle of magnesium citrate....8 or 10 oz bottle, we got 2 just in case,
but I did not need the 2nd one.
Handy hint..if ya gotta drink stuff, cut it with water, it is much much easier to gulp down.

What they don't tell you ......once the bathroom process starts, it does not stop for very long. There is no gas type pain, just repeated flows. Luckily I have my own bathroom, thus privacy.

what they did not tell me....it could be an all night process, off and on by midnight.
At 6 am, I was still "processing" off and on, and due at the surgery at 8 am.
No way was I gonna miss the test and have to go thru prep all over again, so I took an anti-diarrhea med.

I know the doc and staff who did the test, and they know me, and they kindly just sent me off to dreamland. At one point I became aware of muffled voices somewhere over and behind me, for a few seconds, felt absolutely nothing at all, and drifted off again, woke up in recovery, was dressed and on the way home 30 minutes later.
You cannot drive yourself, the drugs don't clear they system in time to make that safe. I went back to bed, had no post problems at all, felt nothing unusual except was hungry when I got up, ate normally .
I was kinda of expecting to feel "tender" if anything.
Nope.Nothing.

one polyp was found, they gave me a picture of it, I told the doc I was gonna have Christmas cards made.

[retread]

10. Just had my 5th one a few months ago. Easiest one yet. Stared changing my diet days in

advance. By the time the day before rolled around I was fasting with clear liquids. Caffeinated water like Water Joe replaced my morning coffee the day before and the day of the procedure.I know wet wipes are bad for sewer systems but that cool, soothing touch helped. I had the 1/2 the night before and 1/2 the next morning prep. I got carried away the night before and drank about 2/3's of the solution. The staff tried to push the bs that they changed the procedure for the patients because a lot of them had problems with the entire gallon at once. My doctor explained that even though things were clear the night before, your bile ducts still secret bile and that left a coating on the large intestine that made it possible to miss a polyp. Turns out, at least for me, 1/3 was fine.

First time I had the procedure I was only lightly sedated and the Dr. was thrilled to show me the inside of my large bowel on the monitor as he traversed it with his roro rooter. The next time I told them my "ideal" experience would be being greeted by the Dr. and then being loaded into the car for the trip home, everyting in between I would just as soon not be awake to experience. The drugs do cause a lapse in your memory.

[Roland99]

11. Thanks everyone!

[Major Nikon]

14. Been through 2 so far

Both times used slightly different methods of treatment, but the end result was the same which is a lot of cramping, a lot of shitting, and your ass is raw from wiping. Both times left me wishing I had just stuck a garden hose up my ass and gotten it over with.

[yagotme]

17. I guess I was lucky.

I got to do the pill regimen. Take 6 of these pills, certain time later, take 5, then 4, etc.

[LeftInTX]

18. Get it scheduled for early morning.

I think I had one in the early afternoon and it was awful. I think the hunger was worse than the shits.

My husband always gets me junk food for afterward as a treat.

[Turbineguy]

6. Here:

https://vimeo.com/24340828

[Historic NY]

7. LOL no one told him about vasoline....

for the assoline, stops the fire.

[SeattleVet]

9. Here you go...

a little light reading while you are otherwise occupied...

http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html

[Cuthbert Allgood]

12. My favorite line from Raising Hope after the effects of the prep liquid started

"It feels like I drank a waterfall."

[Orrex]

13. On the plus side, it's all behind you now.

[FSogol]

19. and it will come out alright in the end.

[LuckyCharms]

15. Thanks for the laughs, everyone. All done...

Slept through the whole thing. Only 2 polyps this time. They were of course sent off for testing, but he said they looked fine.

[red dog 1]

22. That's great!

But for others who might have to have a colonoscopy sometime, here are a few tips from someone who has had 13 colonoscopies.

1) Start your prep early...12 hours early or more.
2) Follow the prep instructions to the letter, and if they don't include taking at least one "Fleet
Enema," ask your doctor if taking a Fleet Enema near the end of the prep is OK.
3) There is no need to be nauseous and feel crappy all day before the test.
Buy packages of clear broth, either beef or chicken flavor.
Buy a large box of Jello, any flavor that isn't red.
That way, your stomach won't be empty the day before the test
4) If you start your prep early, "eat" only clear broth, drink lots of water, and have Jello for
"desert"....that way, you won't need to drink ALL of the "horrific crap" they tell you to drink

(I usually only drink about a cup (8 oz.) of that "stuff" and yet I've always been "squeaky clean" for the colonoscopies)