Anyone ever had to fire their doctor?

[Akoto]

That is to say, to drop them for whatever reason you may have had.

I'd rather not get into too much detail, but the doctor who usually cared for my chronic illness at a University was going to be away for a while. I had to be transferred to another doctor. It seemed like good news because she was at a branch closer to home. The appointment did not go well in retrospect, though. She was pushing procedures I'd had and been made worse by, or procedures the many doctors I'd had there prior to her advised against for different reasons. Long story short, I barely hang on and don't want to make it worse still, and there has long been a consensus that medication management was the right choice for me.

I left feeling like she was suspicious of me (she ordered the first drug test I've ever had with them in ten years, including a drug they don't prescribe) and frustrated that I wouldn't risk the procedures. The more we went down the list of the same old things, the quicker she cut me off when I tried to explain why they had not been viable options, as if frustrated. First time I have ever had a doctor with them who didn't simply respect my feelings and hear me out when I wanted to talk.

Maybe it was a bad day for her. Maybe she wanted to score more money by doing procedures, which my Medicaid isn't going to pay for. Maybe she really did think I was some kind of druggie. I don't know. I just know it's probably bad that one visit has already left me feeling not trusted and insecure.

So, that was me venting. I was wondering if anyone else had to fire a doctor in the past, and if so, how did you approach it? It's an awkward situation I've never had to confront before, but in this case, I think I should go back to my prior doc.

Appreciate your ears!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. I have switched doctors, but not after a visit quite like yours.

I had gone to my ear-nose-throat MD to get the wax out of my ears. This was something he was willing to do, and had done it many times for me. He even had a little vacuum to suck the stuff out.

But this time was different. Now, he had just come back from vacation. Anyway, no vacuum in sight--he was using a pointed tool to remove the wax. At one point he scraped really hard and it hurt. I pulled back and told him he had hurt me. He acted as though he hadn't heard what I said, and then he did it again. Again I protested and then we were done. I left without telling him how upset I was.

A few days later, I got a form that asked me about that visit. How did it go, was I happy with how the doctor was, and so on. Well! I wrote down the details, all of them. I let him have it. It was then that I decided I would not go back to him.

I did some looking around and found another ear-nose-throat MD. Actually, I haven't seen the MD yet; he's pretty busy, so I usually go to see his nurse practitioner. She's great. I haven't had any wax removals there yet, but I have a feeling that it will go a lot better than with my former doc.

You might want to talk to the new MD and explain your feelings to her. If you can't get any satisfaction, then you might want to go back to your old MD. Good luck!

[still_one]

2. It shouldnt be awkward at all. You are the consumer: if you find you cannot communicate

with your doctor, and do not feel the doctor is serving you, find another doctor who will: you are the consumer:

All you do is find another doctor who you find comfortable with, cancel any pending appointments with the physician you don’t like

You don’t have to notify the physician that you no longer require her services. Doctors see a lot of patients, and this happens all the time

[Akoto]

4. That is basically how I feel about it, really.

I will gladly give them their drug test (if someone will ever give us the code to do it by blood) so it doesn't look like I'm trying to dodge a bullet. Otherwise, I'm going to see if I can return to my prior doctor and just say nothing to the current one.

[still_one]

6. You have every right to refuse any procedure you do not feel comfortable with- Doctors arent

gods. and if you feel that the physician does not listen to your concerns, it sounds like you have a communication problem with that doctor- only you can decide if that is the case

Even if you cannot return to your prior doctor, there are a lot of doctors out there

You can also seek out a new doctor as a second opinion first, and if it clicks then you have found yourself a new doctor

Good luck

[demosincebirth]

3. First, she doesn't listen to you...big problem. That's all

It would take for me. I' d want a doctor I can feel comfortable with.

[silverweb]

5. Just once.

She was very nice at first, but as I got to know her, I found that she just wasn't listening and there was very impaired communication. When I complained of forefoot pain (metatarsalgia) and asked for a podiatry referral, she blew off the referral and instead sent me for unnecessary x-rays to look for nonexistent fractures.

She also displayed a very antiquated notion about medical cannabis when she said, "All I know about that is it's a gateway drug," which made me wonder how out of date the rest of her attitudes were. Consequently, I started going to a different doctor who, 2 years later, I still like very much.

If you have any other option, never stay with a doctor who doesn't let you know they hear and understand what you are saying, doesn't make you feel comfortable communicating with them, or doesn't communicate well with you.

[BigmanPigman]

7. Yeah I did for a few reasons.

The main one was that she didn't believe in hormone replacement for menopause. I read the up to date info and research stuff and I knew more than she did. I didn't tell her I was switching and I just went to a different doctor.

[womanofthehills]

13. Same with me - I had to go to a chiroprator to get my bio identical hormones

and my blood pressure is always high when I go to her because i know she will bitch about me not being on blood pressure meds . I bring in my blood pressure cuff to show her my recent readings and that they are ok, but she says even if they are only high in her office i should be on medicine. She actually told me she would not give me the bio identicals unless I went on blood pressure meds. I actually think she is fucking stupid. I have brought in up to date research stuff too and she is not interested. I got my cholesterol numbers down 80 points with niacin and she wanted me to take a cholesterol drug to get my numbers down 10 more points. She is all dressed up in spike heels like Melania. She wants me to get tests i do not want so I just stopped going to see her. It's like why should i see this person who is so dumb? I need to look for a new primary.

Anyway, my insurance plan sends nurses to your home if you haven't gone for a checkup in a few yrs. So I had a nice visit with a normal person. None of my neighbors seem to be going to the doctors, as this nurse was visiting lots of my neighbors too.

[Akoto]

8. Thanks for the replies, guys. Makes me feel a little less like an oddball! n/t

[davsand]

9. I fired my OB a couple months in.

I went to a local group practice and never once saw the doc I asked for. They kept shuffling me to the same doc and I didn't like her demeanor at all. She was authoritarian and if I asked a question it was like I was challenging her. She ordered test after test, and never would tell me why she ordered it. I stayed with her up to the point that she ordered a creatine clearance test, which was supposed to be me peeing in a jug and saving it all for 24 hours so I could take it to the lab. When I asked what that particular test was for--what, exactly, was she looking for--she started screaming at me right there in the office. I got up and walked out with her following me down the hall, still screaming.

I decided I was never going back there again, and if I had to deliver my baby with just my husband's help it was gonna be better than dealing with her. Husband agreed after listening to me cry and scream for a couple hours. The next day I called a different clinic and set an appointment with a different doc. He taught the OB rotation for med students at the local teaching hospital and had an excellent reputation. My family practice doc (who did not do OB) knew him and gave him a glowing reference.

I called the old clinic and requested a copy of my records to take to the new doc. I was told no. They seriously told me that they were not going to release my records, and at that point I went on a serious war path. Called a lawyer. Who called that office. Who handed me the records when I went in the next day. It was insane. Then I read the records. Discovered that doc had done a full tox screen on me without my knowledge or consent. They had tested me for HIV without my knowledge or consent. There were notes in that file about how I was "recalcitrant" and "argumentative". There was even a comment that I asked too many questions! (I was having my first child--wouldn't ya think I'd be asking questions?)

That hateful woman actually called me that night to argue with me that I had no idea what I was doing, and that there was NO better doctor than her in the entire town. I told her she was fired and I never wanted to deal with her or her office again.

The new doc was a terrific guy. He left his office during hours and was there when the on call surgeon did my emergency C-section (baby's heart rate dropped during labor) and he was there after the delivery. Love for him to this day, and it will be 21 years ago this May 29th! I've also spent those 21 years telling every woman NOT to go to that other clinic.

Sometimes you have to change docs. There is no way that relationship can be saved, and frankly speaking, I don't think it's worth trying to. YOU are the consumer, and you deserve a certain level of respect and professionalism.


Laura

[C Moon]

10. I've had some terrible doctors at Kaiser. But they were doctors who covered when my PCP was out.

They were just awful. I don't know why they pay them.

I think Kaiser is good for general health care and for obvious diseases (in fact, they are great for that), but when you need tests done for an underlying issue, you'll run into a lot of red tape and more so: "I don't have time to really look at this" situations.

I think Kaiser is too overburdened. I'm in L.A., so maybe it's worse here.

[Tikki]

35. I left that medical carrier after 7 years of arthritis developing in both hips

and nothing being done or discussed about what to do.

Went to another medical carrier and within 3 months had my first hip replacement done and five months later had my second hip done.

The actual GP's were good, just the carrier's practice of having their specialists not recommending action be taken..they stretch it out until you can't stand it any more and you leave.

My new medical carrier is responsive and my Family Doctor is beyond perfect.
Also in the LA area.

Tikki

[C Moon]

38. Sounds about right. I guess my feelings have been verified. Thanks.

[Tikki]

39. Yes they are validated...I was being generous in not posting the hell I went

through.
I was in so much pain by the time I left that carrier, I literally would cry
at times as I moved around.

Please, people, leave your medical carrier, doctor or therapist if they are not
trying to help you.

The arthritis in my hips was not some strange, hard to
diagnose disease. The first time I walked into the new carriers therapist
practice..my therapist told me I had arthritis just by watching me walk.

A couple months later I had my first hip replacement.

Tikki

[C Moon]

40. Validated. That's what I meant.

I saw one sit in doctor at Kaiser for a skin problem on my eyelid (cleared up on its own).
I'd read up on it, and some recommended using dandruff shampoo, and that my doctor would tell me how to apply.
I went to the Kaiser doctor (mine was out, so I had some outside guy).
He looked at the results in the Kaiser computer after seeing my eyelid.
"Buy some dandruff shampoo."
I asked him how to apply it to the eyelid.
He looked at me annoyed and said, "It's shampoo! You put it on your hair!"

[yuiyoshida]

11. I not only fired him, I went to his supervisor

and complained. I was asked to fill out a sheet and describe everything. It turns out he had other complaints against him as well. He was gone from the Hospital within a week and I was re assigned to someone who listens to their patients.

[50 Shades Of Blue]

12. She sounds like a nightmare. With a chronic illness you sure don't need

More stress from your doctor! I'd dump her if you can find a replacement that meets your criteria.

I dumped my longtime GP because of the unreasonable waiting time, always at least 45 minutes. My current GP is much better. Added bonus: She hates Trump too!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

14. I very, very rarely go to doctors.

It helps that I am extraordinarily healthy.

Several years ago, to qualify for a life insurance policy, I had to get my blood pressure lowered. So I found a doctor, and that happened, but after a while I was on several medications for various things, and I wasn't very happy. Plus, I was having symptoms/side effects I wasn't at all happy with. I will spare you the gross details, but I decided to discontinue all meds and stopped seeing the doctor. She is still officially my PCP, but I feel vastly better off.

I honestly think that over medication, especially among older people (I'm now 69) is a huge problem. Okay, I understand that there are various medical conditions that really do require medication. But here's another example (and I know this is purely anecdotal and is therefore essentially meaningless) I have a good friend who has had various medical issues in the past, including a stroke about 20 years ago. He was a lifelong smoker and eventually had triple or quadruple bypass surgery. He's also quite heavy and is now diabetic. So these are real things that need to be treated. Every few days or weeks he simply feels quite crappy. Not exactly ill, but not at all well. I have gently suggested that he needs to talk to his doctor and/or pharmacist about the interactions between his various medications. I think he has done that, but between his heart issues, his overweight, and his diabetes, it would not make any sense at all for him to discontinue his medications.

So I feel torn, because I understand quite clearly that modern medicine is truly incredible. Saves lives. Makes lives vastly better. But, but, I see how many meds so many people, especially older people, are on and I wonder.

[Lars39]

15. Just speculating here,

but it sounds like the doctor saw your diagnosis, saw your meds, but didn’t read read any further in your medical record. I’ve had that happen, but at least the doctor was nice.

[Akoto]

17. I actually kind of felt that way, too.

She is in the same university medical system, so she has all ten years of my records. She can go back as far as she likes and see that I've never been a problem patient, and I'm not turning down her procedures simply to be difficult. These are all things I have discussed with doctors five times prior, and we reasonably came to conclusions about why they had not worked or were not good ideas. Medication management, trying to control the symptoms and give me best possible quality of life, became the goal. Do I like being on meds? No. Do I like feeling as though I'm being judged for it? Also no.

I've seen my records, because I needed copies for dealing with SSA about my disability. All of my prior doctors found me to be a cooperative, pleasant, responsible patient. Nobody felt the need to drug test me, much less label me a chronic opiate user on paperwork.

My prior doctor felt this doctor would be a good replacement for her, and hey, it cuts an hour each way off my trip. Unfortunately, my sense was that she was unaware I had come simply to continue medication management, and that she hadn't really read up on my condition/file and come to understand it.

Unfortunately, I do have to tread lightly here. It's difficult to find any place which knows about treating my illness, so I need to maintain my good ties with the university. If she's confronted directly about my issues and decides to give me the boot instead, I worry I may not be able to get back in with one of the other doctors there. I'm not going to find that quality of care on Medicaid anywhere else around here. Like I said, awkward situation.

[Lars39]

36. Hopefully this doctor will finally get up to speed on your condition

and act accordingly. Heightened anxiety can’t be helping.

[safeinOhio]

16. Moved to a new town 2 years ago.

So far I've fired 3 doctors.

GPs seem to only be gate keepers now. I had one that never looked at me. Listen to my hearty once and never saw me with my shirt off.

Any thing I'd bring up, I got a referral to a specialist. WTF.

[Locrian]

18. don't sweat it

It's a business relationship - it happens ALL the time.
The doctor has hundreds of patients. They likely won't even remember you or care.

Just find a new one and they'll take care of transferring your records etc.

[Callalily]

19. Actually, I am in the process

of finding a different doctor, because I'm very dissatisfied with the current one that I go to. She does not listen to me, really HATES it if I mention that I did some research, etc.

She gave me poor care during my last appointment and it has become her habit to talk about her personal life - during my appointment, clearly wasting my time. And then of course the appointment is over, and my issue(s) have not been resolved.

[CanSocDem]

21. Often. The last was a cancer surgeon...

...who had caught a glimpse of my chest X-Ray. He knew my weight (low) my age (high) and my 40 year habit of smoking. He wanted to cut a hole in my throat, send a little shovel into my lungs and bring back, what, in his mind, would surely be malignant.

I told him "No!" and his first question was where had I obtained my medical degree. That was over 10 years ago.

I used to rely on antibiotics to suppress flareups of mild pneumonia that interfered with my work at the time. The doctor I knew required an X-Ray before he could prescribe so that was how that lead to the profit-taking even within universal medicare.

I realized, decades ago, that my time would be better spent looking inward rather than expecting the established social institutions to take care of my personal needs. The first and most obvious was My Health. Looking inward, I discovered two words that changed my relationship with ModernMedicineINC.

Those words are Placebo and Noceba.

https://www.nhs.uk/news/medical-practice/survey-finds-97-of-gps-prescribe-placebos/




.

[RobinA]

22. I Fire GYNs Constantly

I had a guy I absolutely loved, but he moved to Florida. So the hunt was on and it continues. It's been about seven years now! Thankfully, I do not have any problems at this point, but I want to get someone I like in case I ever do. It's complicated by the fact that I call, make an appointment with a specific doctor, and then someone else shows up.

I have no problem firing them, because they don't appear to know me from Adam when I go there. The first one who actually wants to know me from Adam will probably be the one I stick with.

[Phentex]

30. This is why I miss the one I had...

lost due to insurance. Even though I saw her once a year for my annual physical and pap, she acted like she knew me. She didn't push me into unnecessary stuff. When I told her I wasn't getting a colonoscopy until after menopause, she was okay with it. That's one small example. In any case, she made me feel very comfortable, never rushed and gave me good recommendations when I asked for them. I still miss her. I considered dropping insurance altogether and just paying cash. But then you think about the unlikely big things that could happen and here I am.

[alarimer]

23. I have a great deal of anxiety about medical stuff and avoid going.

Unless I have to, for reasons like you have stated here.

I haven't been (for other than emergency reasons) in 10 years or so. I know that's bad, but I fear how judgey they sometimes are: about weight or all manner of other things that I simply cannot bring myself to go.

[frogmarch]

24. During my appendectomy,

my doctor cut me on the wrong side. The nurse stopped him before he started digging around looking for my appendix, and a different doctor came in and did the surgery.

So, yes, I fired Dr. Dyslexia.

[dembotoz]

25. Insurance change,new group meant new doc

Still feel a bit bad but I suspect my new doc is better

[tymorial]

26. There is nothing wrong with seeking another opinion or a new provider

I have worked with more physicians than I can count. Many are caring and kind people generally want to help and heal those under their care. Many are egomaniacs who love to hear the sound of their own voice. I swear to god that some specialties are worse than others... cough, orthopedics.

At the end of the day it is your Healthcare and you have every right to demand respect and have your opinions heard. No, that doesn't mean you will always get what you want because after all it may be your body but it's also the physicians license and practice/facility policies. Seeking another opinion or finding a different provider who is more willing/able to continue the treatment you expect/need is more than reasonable. You should never feel guilty .

[mainstreetonce]

27. I had an experience that I regret.

My husband had a cancer diagnosis that was basically terminal. After working with teams of doctors that he really liked and respected ,he was assigned to a new female oncologist who he just didn't get along with. A former doctor assured him this new doctor was the right choice because she was studying the particular field he needed and was up on the all the latest advances.

He had all kinds of arguments and incidents and we never thought about just saying "enough" and asking for a different doctor. She was part of a large group. We could have requested a change.
After they told us he had days to live,I couldn't take it anymore and requested a new doctor.
It was too late. She said give me a few days,but it was too late.
I really regret that I didn't speak up sooner so he had someone he could relate to and get along with when things got really serious.

If you are having that kind of problem,speak up now because I will always regret that I didn't.

[tymorial]

28. I will add that I have changed doctors without a second thought

I have done the same for my daughter. I have a very high bullshit-o-meter after working in healthcare for 20 years. I have a huge problem with unnecessary testing and duplication because healthcare providers and organizations are too lazy to share data and adopt EHR standards. I also know charge padding when I see it and procedure addons are an all too common method.

[Phentex]

29. Not really fire but just not return...

I don't go to a doctor very often but when I do, it needs to be a good fit. In my case, someone who is not interested in running a bunch of tests for nothing and one who listens when I tell them something. I had to give up my primary/gyn because of insurance but I may have found someone just as good. I am not due for anything until March.

For simple illness, I have had the best experiences at CVS Minute clinic believe it or not. Sometimes my PCP could not fit me into the schedule for that day so why wait? This happens every two years or so. I don't see doctors otherwise.

[CrispyQ]

31. I had a doctor harp on me every year to get a mammogram,

but never once mentioned the 50 pounds I'd put on over the years. On my last visit with her, I asked her about that & her answer was that she didn't like to make her patients feel badly about their weight. Another doctor refused to give me codeine cough syrup, so I could sleep at night due to pneumonia. Instead, she prescribed me some little gel pills that did absolutely nothing. When I called her & asked her to please prescribe something that would work, she refused. I told her I resented being treated like a drug addict & went to an emergency clinic & got my cough syrup. I generally dislike doctors.

[redstatebluegirl]

32. I went through three before finding the one I liked

when we moved to Oklahoma. I had a nut job who missed a very low thyroid condition. I had one who I waited 1 hour for each time, and then she didn't spend any time with me. I found out later she worked mainly with medicaid patients. You have a right to find one you like.

[UTUSN]

33. What you said: "drop them" (without a "firing" fuss) . Also, in extreme case, formal complaint

I've had some pips in the "professional" practitioners field. In no order:

* Arrogance in different forms: Demeaning towards whomever (patients, nurses).

* Judgmental, often from a religious/"moral" pov. ("You're a candidate for insulin because you're an undisciplined, fat, lazy slob." )

* Blaming.

Patient doesn't know what's going on with the doctor's attitude, patient blames self, until finally realizing that this dude has a problem (not practicing biology/science). It's because we're conditioned to "revere" doctors. Solution, at some future date, request all records from the office manager, pay for the copying if they make the demand, don't need to give a reason, once records are in the hot little hands go find another doctor and no going back for a confrontation. If the behaviors were egregious, file a complaint with the state licensing board.

As for choosing a new doctor: It's mostly trial and error, because others recommendations won't work. Somebody say, "My doctor is SO nice blah blah." You go there and maybe nice but not compatible for you. Gotta check your own reaction in person.

[csziggy]

34. Three different doctors at different times for different reasons

The first GP I went to as an adult. Blew off the menstrual problems I was having but insisted I needed these diet pills he was happy to write me a prescription for. It turned out that they were amphetamine tablets. I took one, couldn't sleep for forty eight hours so I threw them away. (If I'd only known the right people I could have made a profit on those pills! Just kidding.) The irony was that the doctor weighed about three hundred pounds.

Second was a OB/GYN in an all female practice. Again I was trying to get treatment for my menstrual problems. She totally blew me off then lectured me for getting a tubal ligation several years before. Apparently I was "too young" at 25 to have made that choice and the problems I was having (that had occurred since I first began cycling) were all due to my decision to not have children.

Third was a dentist. About 2004 the dentist I had used since college retired. I didn't like the dentist he referred me to so I tried another one. I should have walked out when the TV in the waiting room was tuned to Fox News. All during his exam he kept on and on about bad Gore was and how great Bush was. Of course, I could not respond while he was working in my mouth.

My solution for all three - I never went back. I simply refused to have anything to do with them at all ever again.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

37. I've never "fired" a doctor, simply went to a different one.

My doc of many years retired, another doc took over the business/records/etc. The new doc was not bad, but seemed uninvolved, incurious, uncommunicative. So, I went fishing for a new doc. So far, so good with the new one.