OH NO! my voicemail says, "I'll be taken under custody unless I call..."

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

...as there are four serious charges pressed on my name."

Maybe over the weekend I'll call and troll them a bit for fun.
If you'd like to contribute to the jollies, please suggest a persona, identity, etc. to use in the festivities.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

1. Gosh, Mr. Manafort, I didn't know you were a DUer. NT

[awesomerwb1]

2. I got one about a serious offense

and if I don't call them back ASAP they will contact the "local cops".

[Aristus]

7. I get that one all the time.

"The local cops will come and arrest you!..."

Guys, could you at least try to make it sound official?...

[Mopar151]

3. Mr. Gnarly Daniels

aka John Lemuel Daniels 7th He has a facebook page! (A goof between some musician friends and I, about the guy who can't quite remember what song this is..)

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. I found one of those calls on my voicemail, sorry I didn't pick up at the time

because I might have said something like, "When are the police coming over? Could they hold off for about an hour? I'm baking cookies right now and I want to be sure they've cooled off enough to eat by the time they arrive. I'll have coffee ready, too."

[csziggy]

23. The calls I have been getting are robocalls

But I still insult and cuss and laugh at them anyway. I did send the call info the the Do Not Call list but that won't do any good, most likely.

[Cirque du So-What]

5. Here's an epic troll of a telemarketer

Sorry about the simpering jackasses in the background.

#

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

19. Glad I wasn't drinking anything

[MontanaMama]

6. My 13 year old fields these calls

and he's a master at trolling them keeping them on the phone for as long as possible. He will often use the name Hugh Janus (boys!) when speaking to these fraudsters. He is now receiving post cards at our business addressed to Mr. Hugh Janus. He will rattle off a credit card number for whatever and when the fake card number is declined his response is "shoot, it probably declined because the card is stolen" He will give several card numbers before these brain surgeons catch on. Some of these fraudsters ask him to pay his debt in iTunes gift cards! I find it bizarre that people fall for this stuff but they do I guess.

[marylandblue]

8. I suggest you call yourself "John Barron"

And that your unnamed client is a really great guy, who has done nothing wrong, dates beautiful women and gave $10 to the Police Athletic League 40 years ago.

[MiniMe]

9. I've been getting those for several year...

exact same language. And the local cops will be out to arrest me in the next 24 hours. Haven't had a cop out to arrest me yet. Fools.

[CurtEastPoint]

10. I got my first one of those the other day. It said they would be forced to call in 'the cops.'

Who TF talks like that if an official capacity. Idiots.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

16. Just for fun...

...I was considering giving them my name as Richard Bruce Cheney. Perhaps ask them to go outside and wave to the Southwest at the drone watching them.

[RandiFan1290]

11. Crazy IRS Scammer Threatens To Kill Old Lady Over $200 ;)

[Ron Obvious]

12. Just got it half an hour ago too

They left a message, since I never end the landline anymore. That "Under Custody" is a bit of a giveaway. I've had it half a dozen times before.

[whistler162]

13. Well.......

[Flaleftist]

14. Say you want to pay in Bitcoin and make them speak out the receiving address

Keep asking them to repeat their bitcoin address to be sure you have it right.

[Stallion]

15. BEWARE of Internal Revenue Services

with an s

[Va Lefty]

18. Yeah, I keep getting that one

They keep saying you, you, you. Never use my name. Losing lots of sleep.

[Laffy Kat]

17. Tell them that you're on your way to the Police station to turn yourself in.

You knew they'd find out sooner or later.

[SCantiGOP]

20. You people are all too cynical

I decided to positively respond to all calls and/or emails I got for 3 days.
I have had my IRS debt erased for the next 150 years, I no longer have 4 serious warrants against me, my penis is 2 1/2 feet long, all of the viruses have been removed from my computer, and the widow of a Nigerian Prince just deposited $14.5 million dollars in my bank account.

[ProfessorGAC]

30. 14.5?

I got 15.5!!!
The rest is pretty much the same!

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

31. A while back I had one on the phone for 20 minutes

It ended when gave an email for my Nigerian banker and suggested that they contact him for a share my promised millions.

[Equinox Moon]

21. I had a call like this once

Something to do with there was a warrant for my arrest.

What game are they playing? How would anyone benefit from a sham like this?

[csziggy]

26. If you call back they offer to let you pay off your debt

Usually by buying iTunes cards (or something like that) and reading them the numbers over the phone.

This video is long but the guy does a great job of wasting the scammer's time.

[Danmel]

22. You will be reported to the "local cops"

According to my voicemail!

[Grammy23]

24. We've been getting the phony Microsoft call

Telling us that our computer will cease working unless we call them back ASAP so they can “fix it”.

We gonna get right on it. We’re going to make the call right now. But don’t hold your breath waiting.....LOL. Some people obviously respond to these phony calls but as much as they are reported and talked about on the news, you have to wonder why????

[Xolodno]

25. What is your name...

...I work for the FBI and we are about to raid the local police department on corruption. You are obviously trying to harass the Federal Government and there will be extra charges filed against you. We are tracing your number now....

[marylandblue]

27. That's no fun, they hang up at "FBI"

[Liberty Belle]

28. I tell them I'm an investigative reporter specializing in consumer ripoffs.

Then ask if it's okay to record the call. That gets rid of them in a hurry.

[Doreen]

29. I have never gotten a call being told that the local cops were being called on me.

I did get a call from the "IRS" telling me I owed money and that I was going to be taken to court if I did not pay at that time with a credit card. I told them I need to talk to my lawyer and hung up. I then called my brother who is a tax lawyer in Portland Oregon and he said it was a scam and that people have been talking to their lawyers about it for the same reason I talked to him. What a bunch of asses.