Beware a ramble Sat and talked with my brother in a dream he passed away in 89
I dreamt of him last night he still looks the same as I remember him before he passed. Tall and lanky I enjoy these dreams when he comes to me, last night I introduced him to our two grandsons and he held them and kissed the boys I tell him that your son is doing well he looks like you still single, My brother tells me Your doing ok I’m happy for you he told me ,and the kids and grandchildren came for a visit yesterday. We were twins my mother often says I know what your brother would look like today as she looks at me. She says you went gray with hair early he probably would have as well tall and thin and still have chicken chest and legs my mother says, She laughs and tells me your brother and your father would be like us with today’s administration.
Perhaps it was talking with my mother yesterday ,I dropped her gallon of wine off at nursing home. Every time how much do I owe you boy for the wine as she goes for her purse. Not a dime mom don’t worry about it you wanna play 500 sure mom deal em. How’s the no booze medicine working what’s it called naltrexone mom it’s working fine. Mind if I pour a glass no mom go ahead she is a piece of work my mother. She is a mother of six boys five of us still walking around.
Growing up we were all tight still tight today. My brother passed away from motorcycle accident booze and foolishness of youth he did it to himself. I left for benning in 84 after graduation and he went to the steel mill where our father worked. Because he and his high school sweetheart were having a baby and a shotgun wedding after the baby was born. She didn’t wanna be pregnant in her wedding photos I smile now the vanity of youth. And today I look at my brothers son I see my brother I love that kid well he is a thirty four year old man today.
After the army I went to work as union dock man eventually got my third class license now cdl . But life was cool we had a young daughter my wife was going to college. I think I was making maybe 16$ hour with all the overtime you wanted I think I was averaging around 600$ a week in 87 with overtime. We had a mortgage through the GI bill of 45.000 $ wow then that was huge to me. It was a Victorian home built in 1912 in western Pennsylvania.
And we were doing ok we were comfortable, we would meet my brothers on Saturday morning after third shift at the bar and knock em down. Head to the parking lot to fire up some weed we would walk home and continue the party. That was what we knew our father was the same. Although by 87 our old man was sober and getting rid of his demons from Vietnam. Our father would say to us I’m sorry for the way I was when you boys were young. Perhaps that is why I always tried to be a attentive father and openly loving to our children. And I was never a cruel or violent drunk but I have realized I was neglecting towards our children by checking out on drunks.
I think it was around thanksgiving 88 we were at my house because my one brother discharged from army engineers. We all got off work my wife drove to her parents with our daughter to spend thanksgiving. And two of my brothers and a friend of ours were sitting at kitchen table drinking beers early morning and hitting a bong. My place because my wife and daughter were away and we always would smoke outside away from our children. And our father stopped by hey dad and he was making a cup of sanka and said laughing, you all just a bunch of hillbilly’s on Pabst and weed. I need you guys to be straight Thursday for thanksgiving dinner ok fellas I don’t wanna hear it from your mom yea dad no problem.
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