"It's decorative Gourd Season motherfuckers!"

[JHan]

"I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is — fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, "It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not."

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

And bring on the fucking pumpkin spice! I can handle it!

[mysteryowl]

1. Who you calln' a MFer?

[JHan]

2. :D

I love McSweeney's

[lapfog_1]

3. Well, the days are shorter... but it's 94F outside right now.

tomorrow is going to be 97F.

So... where is this "Fall" you speak of.

[rurallib]

13. well we were about 85 today then the storm went through

and it's headed down to 40 tonight.
Upper midwest

[lunasun]

4. Thanks for posting

[Sedona]

5. Careful what you wish for

[JHan]

7. that's the ticket.

Sadly no glitter covered twigs were found, but they're out there.

[Sedona]

11. Go for it

https://twentytwowords.com/twitter-is-roasting-ivanka-trump-for-this-abomination-of-a-thanksgiving-centerpiece/

Every year around Thanksgiving, there are are two main questions that everyone has.

First: Who is cooking the turkey? And second: Who is bringing the giant clam full of garbage?

[Leghorn21]

6. I fuckin love this post so much I can't fuckin breathe, man.

LOVE!!!!

Thank youse, JHan!!!

[JHan]

8. lol ;)

[AJT]

9. And when it gets to the end of October, I'm going to carve up

those mother effin squash.
🎃

[Kajun Gal]

10. Too funny! I gave up on decorating for fall. Down to Christmas only, maybe...

[dixiegrrrrl]

14. We have a black cat.

So I am done.

[Blue Owl]

12. I decorate gourds and I vote