What age of men/women are you most attracted to?

[True Dough]

I just bumped into this online article about a study that shows men, throughout their lifetimes, remain most attracted to women in their early 20s.

Women, however, by the time they reach 50, generally start to see men in their 40s as most attractive.


https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/22/men-regardless-age-will-always-attracted-women-early-20s-8718590/


I don't think it's much of a revelation. Pretty much what most suspected, but I'm curious about the DU's reaction. Is this evidence that men are simply succumbing to their biological urges to find a nubile female to impregnate to spread their genetics, or more that older men are sorta/kinda "pervs?"

Are older women seeking someone who's more of a match intellectually and emotionally in their 40s, or someone who's more financially established?

[jberryhill]

1. Late Neolithic / Early Bronze

[ProudLib72]

20. Oh MAMA!

[janterry]

2. Or perhaps sexism

I'm sure it fits into the model somehow. Men don't look in the mirror and see an aging fat guy (okay, many do - but with some money or power, they don't really see it as clearly as, perhaps - ahem, we, from the outside, might).

Women often look in the mirror at middle age and feel.....well, middle aged. We don't see ourselves (often, not always!) as eligible partners for a young man.

There's more to it than that. But sexism must fit into this model as well.

[bitterross]

29. Or Perhaps it's just Evolution. Women are at their fertility peak in their 20s.

Men can reproduce far longer than women. This is a sad fact. There are a lot of men who never needed to reproduce in the first place. Much less keep doing it into their 50's and later (see: Trump, Donald J.).

I would suggest the results of the study are to be expected. That it is advantageous from an evolutionary perspective. Males who are able to reproduce are going to select the females most likely to provide them with healthy offspring. That is clearly not an older female. It's a woman in her 20s.

I also think evolution explains why women's attraction would change over time. Life was short and hard as we were evolving. While the males would select the younger females for reproduction, there was still the need for caregivers and task-related workers. Older women of non-reproductive age could fill these very important roles. Being attracted to a tribe or tribal leader who is older and has an established tribe that required their abilities and could support them makes sense. This aligns with some current theory on why homosexuality doesn't die out. The theory is called the “benevolent uncle hypothesis”. The presence of non-reproductive members of the tribe has benefits to the reproduction of the DNA of the tribe.

By the way, you're being sexist with your statements. "I'm sure it fits into the model somehow. Men don't look in the mirror and see an aging fat guy (okay, many do - but with some money or power, they don't really see it as clearly as, perhaps - ahem, we, from the outside, might). " That is an assumption, an opinion, that is not supported by any studies. Certainly not by any evidence you provide to back up your "I'm sure...." The article doesn't ponder causation either or work the results into any sort of "model." The article is posted in a fluff, online magazine.

My evidence in working with men who are middle-age or older is merely anecdotal, but it points to the opposite conclusion. Maybe you need to hang out with a better class of men.

Not everything, that on first glance looks sexist, has to be about sexism. Sometimes there is a completely reasonable explanation that is neutral.

[janterry]

33. Articulating cultural models of sexism

is not sexism. It is simply understanding that sexism produces those kinds of results (often, not always).

Research models are interesting. How explanatory any one thing - is always proportional. Evolution probably fits into the model, as does many other things.

Does it explain the entire model? I doubt it.

But neither of us knows how explanatory either is -

a hypothesis is, by nature, just a hypothesis

[TreasonousBastard]

3. I find attractive women in their 30s and 40s, even 50s, who look like...

they are in their 20s.

Yes, there is that ancient biological imperative that we look for healthy young women with their own good genes to carry (or make up for) our genes. OTOH, we humans have evolved to the point where the perv factor can't be ignored. We do have a way to go in evolution.

[Ohiogal]

4. A guy I would find attractive would be

Last edited Sat Feb 23, 2019, 09:46 AM - Edit history (1)

Intelligent, looks me in the eye, listens to me, takes me seriously, and likes the same things I do. Sense of humor just like mine. Must be open minded and a good person. Treats me as an equal and doesn't try to tell me what to do.

[lastlib]

27. Women say they want a man with a sense of humor--that's false, and I can prove it!

I can make ANY girl laugh--hysterically--in two seconds flat! It's easy--I ask her out, she LAUGHS! hysterically!

[lunatica]

6. I've always been attracted to men around whatever my age has been

Maybe that’s strange. But I do have certain musts, because they can turn unattractive on a dime.

Must have an intelligent sense of humor and make me laugh. Must understand and appreciate my sense of humor. Must respect me as an equal and must elicit respect from me. Must be interested in many across the board things. Must be open minded. Must feel quite comfortable being himself.

I do find many younger men attractive but not in a sexual way. My thought would be that if I was younger I would find them attractive, but that it’s no longer the case. I know that may seem strange but it’s true. I think putting a sexual slant on everything is silly. There’s so much more to human interactions.

[Ohiogal]

7. There's a shallow attraction

and then there's deeper attraction. lunatica you have done a good job describing the difference. And I do agree that I feel the same way as what you described in your middle paragraph.

[socdem60]

8. Beauty fades

I was with someone for 23 years. We have recently broken up. I don't care about power or money. I do appreciate beauty in both sexes, but it doesn't last and in the real world it makes no difference. Kindness, empathy, humor, and respect are most important. It's a loss for older men not to appreciate women in their age group for their experience, their humor, intellect, and being financially stable. At least it should be what we all strive for.

[Wounded Bear]

9. Anthropologically, through the thousands of years of development...

men tend to select younger women who can father children. Women, on the other hand, tend to select older men who have proven they can survive. Younger men take more risks and have higher mortality rates. If you get past the fantasies people have, primitive life is hard. Hunting animals large enough to feed groups of people like a tribe is a dangerous business. Your tribe is not going to survive on squirrels and rabbits.

Our societies tend to 'advance' far faster than our natural trained instincts can adapt to. Our brains are not larger or more advanced than those of the bronze ages, and maybe not much beyond the late stone age. We are rightfully coming to an era when women's rights and strengths are finally being recognized beyond what they were 200 years ago. People change slowly, and are preternaturally disposed to resist change. Like racism, sexism is still very real and needs much more work.

Yeah, we're all "pervs" to a greater or lesser degree, I guess. There are, after all, older women who date younger women. It's not all one-sided. Money and power are the great aphrodesiacs. There are far more men, of course, but as women gain power, they too can fall to Dahlberg's axiom.

Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority: still more when you superadd the tendency or the certainty of corruption by authority.

[lastlib]

28. (I want to meet the woman who can father children......)

--

[Generic Brad]

10. For me - women in my general age range

No offense directed towards youth, but I am at a different stage in life. I recognize beauty at any age, but I prefer to spend time with someone I actually have something in common with. That is more attractive to me.

[True Dough]

11. Well, I can tell you this

if I ever found myself single and "back on the market" and I found a younger woman and there was mutual attraction, if she was one of those "let's do a selfie" every 10 minutes (or even every single day) types, then there's not a chance it would work!

[Iggo]

12. It'd work for a minute.

EDIT: And that's why I think "attracted to" is too broad a qualifier. If it means "whoever turns my head", then it includes well over half the female population. If it means "someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, to the exclusion of all others", then that narrows it down drastically. And there's a whole lot of room in-between those two definitions. A whole lot of room.

[Major Nikon]

13. I just wanna know how old I have to be to join the dirty old man club

[True Dough]

14. Like you have that Nikon to shoot landscapes!

Ya filthy sonnuva gun!

[Major Nikon]

16. And who doesn't like pictures of boobies?

[True Dough]

17. Touche!

But be sure to have permission before you touche the boobies.

Nice blue feet, BTW.

[Major Nikon]

21. Sometimes you need to go candid

[Iggo]

18. Goddam beautiful birds.

[Aristus]

15. Ages 40-70-ish for me.

I just turned fifty, so being attracted to a woman younger than about forty is kind of 'ick'. I've been watching Bernadette Peters in Mozart In The Jungle, and at age 70, she's still drop-dead gorgeous.

Ever since I discovered that boys are different from girls (oh, age five or so) I've been attracted to older women. I don't think that will ever change. Mrs. Aristus is eight years older than me. I can't imagine ever having the kind of mid-life crisis that would cause me to be drawn to young women in their twenties or thirties.

[True Dough]

19. Ya got me beat!

Mrs. True Dough is 6 years and 3 months older than I am. We met in university. She was a "mature" student of 28. I was in my grad year at 22. We became friends first, but I knew all along that I wanted more. She initially held me off, saying I was too young and her parents agreed with her.

I persevered. Now they all love me (and I love them all too).

[Corgigal]

22. Any man who can sing.

I just realized, I dated and married men who looked like my favorite singer.

Told my kids, OMG , I've been nothing but a groupie my whole life. So I requested on my tombstone.

Nothing but a groupie
Miss you Mom

Ha!

[Ohiogal]

23. Singing is definitely attractive

[ProudLib72]

24. 30s/40s

I'm a weird person, so it takes another weird person to get along with me. That's all I'm saying.

[Inkfreak]

25. I have a type that doesn't really have much to do with age.

I dig a curvy chick, regardless of age. So it doesn’t matter, mostly. And so many women remain beautiful throughout their life. I mean Jane Semore is sexy as hell and she’s over 60, or damn close. It’s too hard to pin down sexy with age.

[WheelWalker]

26. The greater the mass, the greater the attraction.

Generally relative, I guess.

[TexasBushwhacker]

30. I'm 62. I generally date men in their 50s.

I'm not going to retire any time soon and most of the men I've met in their 60s are retired and want someone to travel with. I am, unfortunately, just not at that point yet.

[wasupaloopa]

31. You are going to get replies based on the poster's view of men I'll bet.

No older guy is going to admit liking 20 something girls.

Probably a lot of projection in this one.

[mitch96]

32. I had a French guy tell me one time

The perfect age for women was half the mans age plus 7 years..
So when you are 20, a 17 year old girlfriend is perfect.
When 40 a 27 year old
60? 37 and so on.. I never heard that "rule" ever again...
m

[PJMcK]

34. I don't know about other people's desires

Except that our culture seems to highlight young, slender and fit men and women.

I'm 60 and my fiancee is 58. We're pretty tight with one another so that works for me!

On the other hand, one of my gigs is as an accompanist for a ballet school and it's a perk to see all the amazing young bodies, female and male, dancing with grace, strength, talent and healthiness. Plus, I get to write lots of music and then get paid! Nice gig.

[LuckyCharms]

35. I like cougars. At my age, that means women in their late hundreds.

[akraven]

36. Well, long-time spouse and lover is 66, so I'd have to say

mid 60's!