HALLOWEEN !!! Don't we love October.

[trueblue2007]

My wife felt like she'd seen a new caring considerate side to me after I spent the day making treats for the Halloween callers yesterday.

I really hope they appreciated my home made toffee onions.

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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.

It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.

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Halloween is easily the scariest night of the year, what with the dead rising from their graves...

and fat girls thinking they look sexy dressed as cats.

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Last Halloween there was a knock on the door. I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, "Honey there's a witch at the door. What shall I do?"

She shouted back, "Just give her some candy and tell her to get lost."

My mother-in-law hasn't spoken to me since.

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Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because he had bat breath

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.

What is an optimistic vampire’s favorite drink?
B Positive.

What are ghosts' favourite streets?
Dead ends

Who are some of the were-wolves cousins?
The What-wolves and the When-wolves.

What happens when two vampires meet?
It’s love at first bite!

Read more at https://www.theholidayspot.com/halloween/jokes.htm#bsEJf7EMFb3cRtu1.99