Trump as compared to Jesus:

[tblue37]

Link to tweet

[bobbieinok]

1. Check out head pastor of Gateway, Robert Morris. He says he's been possessed by demons

He's with many more RW preachers on Trump's advisory board of preachers

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Trump-Jesus would have multiplied the loaves and fishes and then kept them for himself.

Trump-Jesus would have claimed Peter was the guy who should be crucified, not him.
Trump-Jesus would have grabbed Mary Magdalene by the p*ssy.
Trump-Jesus wouldn't have raised Lazarus but would have blamed him for staying dead.
Trump-Jesus wouldn't have gotten out of the boat at all, let alone walked on water.
Trump-Jesus wouldn't have said, Get thee behind me, Satan; he'd folded like a cheap lawn chair at Satan's first offer.
Trump-Jesus would have insisted Judas give him the 20 pieces of silver as a commission.

[leftieNanner]

3. PERFECT!!

Trump-Jesus would have multiplied the loaves and fishes and then sold them for a heeeuuuge profit.



Or better yet, he would have multiplied them and even though he was surrounded by thousands of hungry people, he would have screwed up the business anyway and been forced to declare bankruptcy.

[DFW]

4. Well, they do have one major thing in common

Bipedalism.

Beyond that, the choices dwindle down to nothing.

[MyOwnPeace]

5. UNCOVERED - in Lake Mar-A-Lago

THE TRUMP/JESUS BEATITUDES!

TRUMP/JESUS Beatitudes:
1. Blessed are the hungry – for they will work for less and be grateful for whatever you give them
2. Blessed are the poor in spirit – because they just might be desperate enough to believe anything that I say (but don’t really mean)
3. Blessed are the truly poor – because that shows that I’m making even more money than ever
4. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice – because they will believe MY Supreme Court and Moscow Mitch – suckers!
5. Blessed are those persecuted for the sake of justice – because that lets Billy Barr have some fun doing his job of covering my a$$
6. Blessed are those who weep – because that lets my attorneys know who will never tell on me
7. Blessed are those who show mercy – because I have a YUGE following of fans who paid bigly to get them seated on my courts
8. Blessed are the single hearted – because they know that their heart belongs to ME
9. Blessed are the peacemakers – because without them that Democrat gang would have done me in by now
10. Blessed are the pure in heart – because, hey, somebody’s gotta’ have one, right?