Dumbest ways you've injured yourself.

[Baitball Blogger]

Me: Getting on the couch and texting at the same time. Not in my skill set.

Banged my knee against a backrest that juts out. It doesn't hurt so much on the side of the knee where I came in contact with the sofa. But the other side feels like it's falling apart.

[arcane1]

1. Years ago, I broke my thumb in two places while taking off a jacket

and this year I tripped over my cat, fell into my sheet music stand, and required 11 stitches in my knee.

Somewhere in between, I broke my coccyx thanks to improper splashdown at a water slide.

I'm a graceful one

[Baitball Blogger]

4. "improper splashdown"

Yeah, that'll do it.

[Bertha Venation]

57. hahahahahahaha

[LiberalFighter]

66. If you had a video that demonstrated the splashdown clearly.

You might had won $10,000 at AFV.

The cat and music stand probably would had just received a mention.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

86. omg...LMAO !!!

[blueamy66]

115. My Mother used to tell me that I was as graceful as an ox.

Maybe you too?

[applegrove]

2. I had paint on my arm one time. I opened the turpintine and rubbed it up and down my arm. Turns

Last edited Fri Jun 29, 2012, 01:33 AM - Edit history (1)

out it was paint stripper. Ouch! Fortunately I was near the basement sink so I was able to wash it off in time.

[Baitball Blogger]

10. That's why I'll never own a shed.

I'm sure I won't survive it with all the kind of things you can get injured from what gets stored there.

[applegrove]

11. Yup. I read labels now.

[woodsprite]

14. OMG! That reminds me of the time I got the wipes mixed up at the OB/Gyn

The nurse had put antiseptic wipes right next to the personal care wipes. I was quite 'tingly' for awhile after the burning stopped.

[csziggy]

3. Slapping a horse on the butt

And missing.

I was trying to bring this horse in to eat it's morning feed. She'd run through the barn, around the back barn yard, through the barn, around the front barn yard, each time going past the open stall with her feed inside. But she didn't want her feed, she wanted to run back and forth.

Finally she stepped partway into the stall, stopping with her butt sticking out. I knew if I moved away to get a lead or anything to encourage her to go the rest of the way in she'd take off again and we'd be back to the running back and forth. So I slapped her on the butt with an open hand, trying to make a popping noise and getting her to move in. Nothing - she just stood there.

I hauled back and slapped her a little harder. Nothing. So I wound up and gave it all I had, knowing that I could not slap this horse hard enough with my bare hand to hurt her. She moved just before my hand connected with her butt. My arm swung on through and my hand connected with the angle iron that framed the stall door, hitting full force in the middle of the bone between the first joint and the wrist.

Instantly I could not move that thumb. The pain went up the arm to the shoulder. I closed the door on the horse who was now happily eating her morning feed oblivious to the damage I had done to myself.

I got in the truck to drive back to the house so my husband could take me to the doctor. Not thinking I tried to turn the key. With my right hand. With the thumb I had just whacked the sh!t out of. It was not a pleasant feeling. When I stopped feeling nauseous from the pain, I started the truck with the other hand and drove home.

The rest of the story is longer and more tedious. It turned out I did not break the bone though I did chip off some bits of bone into the upper joint of the thumb and put a dent into the bone that remains to this day twenty years later.

[Baitball Blogger]

6. Yee-ouch!

Did you have to get the bits of bone removed?

[csziggy]

23. No, they're still in the joint

Every so often one gets wedged into the joint and I have to manually flex the thumb to work it loose. It doesn't happen as often how as it used to. Maybe they've either dissolved or fused to the bone.

At one point there was a whole discussion about getting the chips out but the consensus was that there was too much chance of impairing the movement of the thumb. Since it's my right thumb and I am strictly right handed, the decision was to leave them alone.

[Baitball Blogger]

39. I'm so sorry csziggy.

Sometimes these things get absorbed. I had a calcium lump grow in one of the joints in my fingers and the doc suggested I do nothing unless it began to interfere too much. Well, after he touched it, it dissolved! He was the last good doctor I ever had.

[csziggy]

75. It doesn't interfer with my needlework, so it's OK

Though I wonder if that injury had something to do with my 'trigger' thumb a few years back. The doctor injected steroids and it's been fine since but for a while I couldn't bend that thumb much.

[Kali]

16. I got a double kick to the torso doing something like that once

even a gentle old kid horse can be startled.

[csziggy]

22. That's why I was standing to one side of the doorway!

I expected her to kick. I did not expect her to move!

[bluedigger]

5. Most every way involved dumbness.

I tied a pair of root clippers to a rope once to throw it over a branch.

I hit the branch and they bounced back at me.

Luckily I caught them point first with the fleshy part of my right thumb.

It wasn't one my worse injuries, but it ranks up there in dumbest.

[Baitball Blogger]

8. I've done the pruning/ladder stunt.

Where you leave the hand pruners on the top of the ladder, and then you forget they're up there and pull the ladder towards you and the pruners hit you in the face.

And, of course, I did the classic stepping on the hand plough trick.

Mostly garden accidents because I get into the task and do dumb stupid things from exhaustion.

[turtlerescue1]

7. I already feel so much better.

There's a reason I wasn't named Grace!

One of my favorites was smoking out in the Sierras once, and going on a hike in spring before the leaves came, hit a muddy patch and was headed down quite an embankment, grabbed the nearest bush to stop the fall. Poison Oak. Doc said because it had no foilage on it yet is why it was so severe.

Once more wandering along a creek with a very steep rocky embankment, slipped and landed on a ledge, where it took friends an hour to get to, was dazed and disoriented, THEN absolutely embarassed.

My all time favorite was the icy walk way to my vehicle. THANK every good thing NO ONE saw me, pretty much fly a-- over tincup and land like a ragdoll. Ever try to use crutches in ice or snow?

Always KNEW I should've been taking ballet instead of tap~

[Baitball Blogger]

9. Another 126 hours on that ledge and you might have been famous!

[Bertha Venation]

58. heh heh heh

You're funny.

[hay rick]

17. Poison sumac.

I was taking a walk in the woods with my girlfriend and her 6 year-old nephew just before embarking on a train trip from Pittsburgh to San Diego. He kept running off, picking leaves off bushes, coming back and handing them to me. Engrossed in conversation, I didn't look at what I was holding until it was way too late. Very painful trip out west...

[woodsprite]

12. Wrestling with hubby, fell off the bed.

(get your minds out of the gutter! We were fully clothed!)

Ended up running a crochet hook through my foot. Needed medical transport because I wouldn't let him pull it back through. After my neighbor, the ambulance attendant, stopped laughing, he cut a small hole in a paper cup, then taped that to my foot so the needle wouldn't move anymore.

Needless to say, I was asked quite a few questions and heard quite a few jokes in triage before the doc made sure yanking it out wouldn't damage anything.

[Baitball Blogger]

13. What state do you live in? That is sick to have someone laugh when

it obviously looks bad.

[woodsprite]

15. Delaware, I hope it was because our neighbor stayed with us and knew

The ER staff. I would hope they wouldn't have acted like that otherwise.

[LynneSin]

31. St Francis or Christiana?

I wasn't a fan of St. Francis but my last trip there was actually pretty ok.

[woodsprite]

77. Christiana, I've never been to St Francis

Although I know they notated the wrong surgery on my Aunt's
chart. Thankfully she was still alert enough to ask for her doc and
they got it straightened out. It was shoulder surgery.
She was stacked in the hallway waiting for a surgery bay to
open up.

[nolabear]

18. About a week ago I dropped my laptop edge-on onto my toes.

I didn't break them but bruised hell out of one. Still can't wear shoes comfortably.

Okay not that dumb but it's a chance to bitch.

[Baitball Blogger]

25. No. That is my all time nightmare dumb accident.

Breaking toes and the laptop at the same time.

[Broken_Hero]

19. When I was

HS age, I was doing some laundry, folding clothes to be exact. I had a sock that was all bunched up, and my routine was to grab the end of the sock and pop it out in a quick motion to get the sock to extend out. One day I came across a bunched up sock, and I did my usual routine and ended up popping myself in the groin.


Another time, in a galaxy not too far in the past...I was sitting in a car after watching a movie, and a fly was flying around my face irritating the crap out of me. I tried killing it, but the pesky thing was to fast....I kept my eyes on it, and followed its decent to my groin area, and without thinking I lashed out hoping to kill the fly, but ended up punching myself in the groin with at least 5% power, and 100% speed...I did get the fly though.

[WillParkinson]

27. Actually it seems...

Like you got two flies!

[Baitball Blogger]

28. LOL!

I see the pattern.

First of all, laundry is something I avoid unless there is an incredibly interesting show on television. Because I figured out that if a person is capable of dying from boredom, they will do it over the laundry basket.

Second. Wow. No advice on the second. I feel better about myself reading it, though, if I had wiggly bits, I'm sure I would have missed the fly and hit the fly.

[CurtEastPoint]

132. I had a laundry attack, too! I tugged on a sheet and WHAM...

off flew the top of the agitator which held fabric softener. That hard plastic cracked me right on the eyebrow and I had to get stitches! Days later when my eye turned black and blue, people asked what happened and I told them I got in a fight in a bar. I didn't want to tell them I got attacked by the Snuggles dispenser. (I didn't really. The truth was actually funny!)

[GaYellowDawg]

20. I remember 2 really dumb ones...

I was cutting styrofoam with a single-edged razor blade. Guess which way I was holding the blade when I pressed down? Felt like I'd cut my index finger in half.

Then there was the time that I was cutting sheets out of some building plans at work with scissors. I had them open and was running them along a yardstick. The boss came in and said, "Hey! Don't injure yourself with..." He didn't get to complete the sentence because he'd startled me into slashing my thumb wide open.

[Baitball Blogger]

32. I have a theory about people, especially mothers, who shout out warning when you're doing

something remotely dangerous. The mind commits to memory that moment of fear when you get surprised by the warning, and henceforth it becomes difficult to focus on anything that is remotely dangerous, which requires your entire focus.

On the other hand, maybe I was born to be a klutz.

[zanana1]

21. Spraying myself in the eyes with spray-on varnish.

I had the button pointing the wrong way. When I got to the
ER, I had to explain myself three times. A few of the nurses couldn't help themselves and covered their faces trying to hide their laughter, but I saw their shoulders go up and down.

[Baitball Blogger]

33. That's another classic.

Good job.

[RiffRandell]

24. Usually mine involved alcohol.

Let's just say I have some scars to prove it.

[Baitball Blogger]

34. Congrats for breaking that bad spell.

[NRaleighLiberal]

26. nearly a real disaster the other day - working in my driveway garden,

I tend to like to sit between the rows and take pics of my plants - bent down, a 3 foot stake I forgot was there nailed me just above the lip - didn't break skin, but my wife did wonder what the hell I did.....

...and I almost PUT MY EYE OUT!

[Baitball Blogger]

35. A camera with a good close-up feature will fix that.

[LynneSin]

29. Tripping over a tombstone while blindfolded and dressed as Bugs Bunny

What do I win?

I still have the scar.

[Baitball Blogger]

36. No fair. You win another one!

I had an acquaintance who told me that her house sat along the edge of a cemetery and she would meet the boys out there and they would smooch on top of the slabbed tombs.

[LynneSin]

41. My was sorority hell night for us pledges

Our theme this year was cartoon characters and we had a week to create a costome that represented the character our big sister picked. My big sister thought I would be pissed being stuck with Bugs Bunny but I was thrilled because I'm the biggest Bugs fan.

Anyhow, to kill time between hell night activies a few of the sisters took some of us to a local graveyard. I had to find Daffy Duck while blindfolded. Mind you I had no idea I was in a graveyard. To find her the sisters were hollering out directions and we had to make sense of it. I'm sure I had a few shots of something in my system too so I wasn't quite sober either.

Anyhow while looking for Daffy Duck, my big sister didn't realize the tombstone had these low-lying edges to it and I ended up tripping over it. I ended up at the School Health center and they bandaged it up. Thought I might need to go to the ER but if I didn't finish hell night I wouldn't get in the sorority and would have to pledge again next year. So the nurse bandaged me up and we found some saran wrap to wrap around my wound to keep it dry and I finished the rest of hell night including pledge invaders (we pledges had to walk back and forth in this room while the sisters threw food at us).

[Baitball Blogger]

42. LynneSin a soroiety girl!

Of all the things you should keep to yourself on the internet, I would think that goes on the top of the list.

Maybe that's another DU thread we should start.

"Things you should keep to yourself on the internet."

LOL!

On edit: Don't mind my provincial roots. The Greek system is a wonderful way to make large campuses more personal.

[LynneSin]

43. I'm very proud and honored to have been a sorority girl

Mind you I wasn't like what you see in the movies, cute blonde and perky. Well I was cute & blonde but I was a rocker chick. My 3 best friends in the world were also sorority sisters and 20+ years later they still are. I have no regrets.

[Baitball Blogger]

46. I came from a small campus where they sucked the life out of campus social life for

everyone.


After college I reconnected with a group of frats and sorority girls from the school and they were normal, nice people. But years later. I mean YEARS later when I went to the reunions and I was accepted as one of them, I saw them in their true pack mentality and I realized the luckiest thing that happened to me was not being part of it during college.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

87. I've seen a pack of sorority girls all dressed alike.

They had on pink pantsuits and were singing and clapping on their way to the dorm elevator. I believe the sorority was Alpha Kappa Alpha.

My thought was, "Why on earth would anybody want to be exactly like anybody else? Or exactly like a bunch of other people?"


I went to one rush party in college. Some muffy gushed at me, "You meet the NIIIIIICEST people here!"

I thought, "Well there is no intelligent life here and no boys, so I'm outta here."

[Baitball Blogger]

91. We can start a whole thread on the subject.

My biggest concerns is that networking begins in these Greek systems. Which is why you find some of the most shameless people rising to the top of society. It's all about who you know.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

125. Oh is that it? I knew it was about who you know.

Except that I graduated from two private colleges with no debt and could not get a job.

If the sorority and fraternity members are running the world, that is really scary.

Why would anyone go through scary and dangerous activities (like falling over a tombstone while blindfolded and injuring yourself) in order to prove that you're good enough to hang out with a bunch of judgmental people???

[cyberswede]

30. I shot a staple-gun through my thumb while repairing a couch

The ER doctor took a look and said, "holy shit!" (not what you want to hear from your ER doc).

Then he rolled out an instrument tray to treat my injury, and the only thing on the tray was a needle-nosed pliers! Gah!

[Baitball Blogger]

37. I saw that on Tosh.0!

Some guy comes up behind his roommate with a staple gun and gets him in the back of the head! They should a close up and it was one of the thick staples! WTF!

[Generic Brad]

38. Head injury defrosting my refrigerator

More than 20 years ago I slipped on a chunk of ice that had fallen on the floor from my open freezer. Both feet slid forward, I fell backwards, and the back of my head slammed into an open kitchen drawer.

Yes. I cut the back my head right behind my ear on a kitchen drawer while defrosting my refrigerator.

[Baitball Blogger]

44. That one sounds scary.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

85. sorry to laugh...but I can see that happening.

[Generic Brad]

110. I'm certain it looked like something out of the "Three Stooges"

The only exception being that I am a solo stooge.

[HopeHoops]

40. LOOOOONNNNGGG list.

[Baitball Blogger]

45. Pick one.

[HopeHoops]

49. Getting absolutely shitfaced and challenging a 6' Norwegian marathon runner to a race.

Note: I'm much shorter, wasn't a runner, and only made it about 2 1/2 steps before doing a face splat into the asphalt.

[Baitball Blogger]

62. Alcohol. What can you say?

Hopefully it also lessened the pain from the fall.

[HopeHoops]

76. "Uh, his name is 'Ralf'."

[pipi_k]

47. Mine usually involve

a war between myself and gravity...

One really dumb injury happened a few years ago about a month after Mr Pipi had knee replacement surgery. I took over his job of picking up the dog poo in the yard. We have to do it about six times a day or else the girls eat it, but anyway...

I'm out there in a sloped yard wearing inappropriate footwear trying to scoop up a pile of poo in wet grass when two playful dogs (combined weight 140 lbs) come running at me and knock me over into a stinky, messy puddle of mud and dog poo.

Luckily Mr Pipi heard me screaming for help and, ignoring the pain from his knee, rescued me.

Sore knees, sore back, sore elbow...

Gravity and I have a dysfunctional relationship.

[Baitball Blogger]

48. In all fairness to you the slope and 140 pounds of canine enthusiasm would have

unseated anyone.

[pipi_k]

50. Probably....

I think my dumb mistake was in wearing footwear without treads on the bottom which made it almost impossible to get up on my own

Also, I should have locked the doggy door in the house so the girls wouldn't be bouncing off me out in their yard

[fizzgig]

51. i fractured my ankle jumping to grab something

i was trying to get a push pin out of the wall, it was just out of my reach so i decided to jump. i wound up landing on the side of my foot and down i went. it still twinges sometimes.

a few weeks ago i tripped and fell at work (in front of about 40 people) and fractured my elbow.

good thing my mom didn't name me grace.

[Baitball Blogger]

63. I think that's called as Potts fracture.

No fun at all.

[Bertha Venation]

109. How is your elbone, Fizzigig?

[fizzgig]

123. much better, thank you

i'm pretty much back to full range of motion and the doc put a five pound lifting restriction on it last week, but said i should be pretty much fully healed by mid to late july. it twinges if i do something stupid, like try to pick up a gallon of milk with it, so i just have to remember to not do that

how have you been feeling?

[Bertha Venation]

124. I'm well!

Seriously hungry all the time (on a thousand-cal-per-day diet) but other than that, I'm fine.

[whistler162]

52. Didn't test a pot of water well enough before

sticking my foot in it to soak a blister.

Lesson : Diabetic with neurophathy = second degree burns on the toes.

Now I get to wait for the bill for two ER visits and two days in the hospital. Of course this happened during a one month no health insurance coverage.

[Baitball Blogger]

64. Oh man! Double hit.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

[Liberal Veteran]

53. Trying to get decent reception on AM radio.

I pointed the antenna in such a way that it got the station just right. I forgot about it and later rounded the corner where the radio was and the antenna went right up my nose and caused a terrible nosebleed.

[Baitball Blogger]

65. Okay. No offense, but I could see this one in a comedy show.

[LiberalFighter]

72. Could you put a video of that online someplace?

Sorry

[Laura PourMeADrink]

88. omg hahahahahahahaha

[TorchTheWitch]

54. broke my nose by dropping a toaster on my face

That was fun trying to explain how that came about to the doctor, the surgeon, my family, my neighbors, my boss, etc.

[Bertha Venation]

60. hahahhahahaha

Sorry to laugh, but that's funny.

[Baitball Blogger]

67. Anything violent that ends "on my face," or '"in the face" is always morbidly funny.

As in, "Cheney shot his friend in the face."

[blueamy66]

55. Tried to get my fiance off the bed and into the car while he was having a seizure

fell and cut my chin open....8 stitches....2 for 1 at the ER that night

[Baitball Blogger]

68. I got stiches in the chin too.

Nightmare the way they did it. I was maybe five or six and they held me down as I screamed my head off for my dad.

Slipped and fell at the public swimming pool. I think it was the baby pool!

[blueamy66]

114. Having the stitches removed was even more painful

The doc had dull scissors and said that the ER doc did a good job stitching me up, but used a thread that was a bit thick.

As soon as he got new scissors, I stopped crying.

Yeah, I thought about a little one getting stitches while I was getting mine.....sad

[abq e streeter]

56. Broke a toe (luckily that's all) running outdoors; drunk, at 3: 00 AM .

Telluride,Colorado, 1983...........Banged my toes into some sort of concrete...(curb?...steps to someones house?...memory is just a little fuzzy)
I don't drink any more...
I don't run outdoors on pitch-black nights any more either.

Incredibly, broke both wrists the next day being thrown from a horse, but that wasn't dumb, just an unbelievable coincidence. Guess it just wasn't my weekend.

[Baitball Blogger]

69. Man, what a shitty weekend that must have been.

[Shrek]

59. Fractured my foot doing an air-guitar solo during Van Halen's "Jump" n/t

[Baitball Blogger]

71. Shrek, I assign you the most dumbass accident award of this thread.

I bow to you.

[nolabear]

84. LOL! Okay that's good.

You win the thread.

[Bertha Venation]

61. Running down the stairs . . .

. . . never a good idea for the portly among us. In my haste I missed the bottom two steps. *CRACK* went the right ankle, then I fell ass over teakettle and broke my glasses in the deal. Four surgeries and a fused ankle later . . . .

Then there was the time I shot myself in the foot -- intentionally -- with the BB gun.

[Baitball Blogger]

73. Okay, Bertha, you should have started with the shooting your foot with a BB gun--intentionally.

That's a good one. Very original.

[LiberalFighter]

70. I was about 5 or 6 years old helping my dad in the potato garden.

Poking the pitchfork into the ground. Don't remember if it was to turn the soil over or to get potatos out. It was over 50 years ago. Anyhow, it went through my foot. Yelled at my dad and pointed to what I had done. Don't recall crying. He took me to the doctor and got a tetanus shot. Had candy corn when I got home from the doctor. I can still see the scars for the entry and exit.

[Baitball Blogger]

74. Farm accident. They're inevitable with all those dangerous tools.

[LiberalFighter]

78. I wouldn't call it a farm accident as my parents weren't farmers especially

Our home was in town. We had an outhouse and well water. I'm guessing it might had been about an acre of land.

But they did grow some of their own produce for consumption. He did work for the ASCS.

[noamnety]

79. My two dumbest both involve ice.

I burned my tongue something fierce trying to defrost my freezer. I was heating two butcher knives on a burner and jabbing them into the ice, one in each hand, to melt through it quicker. I wasn't sure how long it would take for the knives to cool off enough that they needed to be reheated, so I felt them. But since I had a knife in each hand, I didn't have an extra hand for feeling, so I laid one across my tongue. (No, I have no idea what I was thinking!) Anyway, no, it had not cooled off yet.

The other was less than a year ago, I gave myself frostbite while sitting on my couch in August. This is after a week of healing:


I did that as part of a weight loss plan. The really stupid part is that I learned afterwards that I didn't even have the ice pack in the right spot, it was too low to be effective. Brown fat is right at the base of the neck, not half way down the back.

[Baitball Blogger]

92. Oh man. For the first half of your entry,

I was going to say that we should give these awards on a daily basis because you would be a strong contender against Shrek. But then I saw the photo and read the entry. OUCH. Not funny.

That doesn't look like the back of a person that is overly heavy. No idea what brown fat is. I'll have to look that up.

[noamnety]

113. I can laugh about the frostbite too now.

I'm still doing ice packs most nights but I went out and bought one wrapped in fabric so now the ice isn't directly on my skin - that was my downfall. When I did that, I was wearing a tank top and too lazy to get a towel to wrap it, so it was right on my skin. My reaction was "ooooh oooooh oooooh that hurts" followed by "suck it up, wimp!" to "okay, I got this." Looking back, "I got this" was just after my skin went numb and I lost feeling, so it stopped hurting.

Here's an article about the brown fat: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/25/health/brown-fat-burns-ordinary-fat-study-finds.html

I'm also doing diet and exercise, slow carbs, kettlebell swings, planks, and as of this month, crossfit. Down from a high of nearly 170 (maybe higher, I'd stopped weighing myself) to 125 this morning. My doctor was on my case about needing to lose weight at the start of this. I imagine she'll be surprised that I actually listened.

[Baitball Blogger]

116. Congratulations!

I'm wearing an icepack on my neck tonight!

[Habibi]

80. Was so relaxed after a massage

that, upon coming down the stairs from the second-floor treatment room, I missed the last step and fell, spraining my ankle. Worst ending to a massage ever.

[Baitball Blogger]

93. I know the feeling.

If I'm not in a state of constant vigilance, I think something is wrong.

[fascisthunter]

81. helping a republican

dumb

[Baitball Blogger]

94. No good deed goes unpunished.

[laundry_queen]

82. I just fall.

I simply have issues walking.

I have scars on my knee from the time I was walking on uneven gravel carrying my toddler, and my leg just gave out from under me. We both went down. My leg and knee had very little skin left. My toddler had a scratch on her head, but I managed to put my hand under her head so it could've been worse (my hand was scraped to hell too). Turns out I was pregnant (didn't know it yet) and my ligaments are very lax and my hip pops out when I'm pregnant so that's probably what caused it.

The other time I slipped on ice. I have reactive hypoglycemia and was starving and we were going out for dinner. I slipped on ice, backwards, and used my arm to break my fall. My arm bent backwards (and I'm sure I heard a snap) which caused pain, so I pulled it out from under me and I hit my head on the ice. Then as I crawled back to the car, I passed out like I always do when I hurt myself when I have low blood sugar. My (now ex) husband was less than impressed about having to carry me to the car and drive me to the ER for an x-ray before he got to eat. Everything was fine, just a 'sprain' and a 'possible minor head injury'.

Oh, and the time we were at a hotel and my puppy had to go piddle. So I took him out the side door, and the door closed behind me and locked (ugh!) and it was pouring rain. I grabbed my dog and ran for the entrance, stepping in a huge water filled hole in the parking lot and promptly went skidding across the lot. More scrapes, but no scars that time. The front desk clerk looked at me strangely as I walked in, bleeding everywhere, covered in water and dirt, my once white dog now grey and wet. LOL.

[Baitball Blogger]

98. Take that hypoglycemia seriously, now.

Bring along protein bars with you wherever you go, and eat nothing but protein in the morning.

[kentauros]

83. Just this morning.

I was going to flip a pair of dirty socks off the floor to put in the hamper. Only my big toe somehow caught on the carpet (my nails aren't long at all), pulled it back and I heard a loud "CRACK!" as it fortunately only popped. However, I was going "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" rather loudly until the pain subsided.

If nothing else, it woke me up such that I didn't need stimulants for the first few hours

[Baitball Blogger]

99. I'm famous for getting my toe stuck in the cuff of my pants.

I must be one hell of a limber person because I haven't landed on my face...yet.

[kentauros]

105. Cat-like balance and reflexes, I take it?

[Baitball Blogger]

121. Possibly.

The lingering last of my youthful limberness. Very last.

[kentauros]

127. I think the "last of my youthful limberness"

is firmly in the past

[REP]

89. Completely dislocated my shoulder out of socket making a non-obscene hand gesture

Also, nearly severed my thumb sticking it in a fan in the middle of the night.

[Baitball Blogger]

100. One of those low noise fans, apparently.

I'm afraid what's going to happen the day we get cars that don't go vroom vroom anymore.

[REP]

108. No, an antique one with a thumb-accessible screen

I wasn't wearing my glasses, and was trying to adjust it. Ended up needing surgery to reattach the nerves in it.

Having surgery soon to repair some damage from the shoulder dislocation (torn rotator cuff) as well as having the end of my clavicle cut off (bad arthritis).

[Baitball Blogger]

117. Heal quickly and take lots of calcium and vitamin D.

[rrneck]

90. Skill saw 2 - rrneck 0.

Just a couple of fingertips though.

[Baitball Blogger]

101. Another classic.

Someday I'll write about the day my older sister convinced me to push the on button of the lumber saw at my uncles construction site.

[murielm99]

95. I once vacuumed my foot.

I don't know why. I was not drunk. I was not tired. There were broken toes, and much pain. It was embarrassing.

I am not afraid of the dark, but I leave a night light on. I have tripped over so many dogs and cats in the middle of the night that I do not even count those as stupid accidents. Some light is essential, for my safety, and for the safety of my pets.

[Baitball Blogger]

102. Vacuumed your toe...

...and you weren't even drunk?

What kind of vacuum cleaner? There might be a commercial in there somewhere. I've seen them suck up marbles, but breaking toes might be more of an attention getter.

[emilyg]

96. Was standing on the edge of

the bathtub hanging a shower curtain. Knew I should have gotten a stool. Slipped and fell - banged my head on the vanity - and fell face first into the litter box.

[Baitball Blogger]

103. I actually have some blackout time that I can't answer for.

In college I was trying to hang something on the ceiling. I had to use the chair. I remember standing on the chair and reaching up and the next thing I know, I was flat on my back on the floor. No idea how I got there because I don't remember the sensation of falling. But I wasn't injured.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

111. oh my god...that is hysterical ! love this thread ! nt

[emilyg]

137. Worst part was cuz I

was bleeding so much - didn't bother cleaning all the cat doo-doo off. Had it on my eyebrows, eyelashes, lips. Went to ER.

[murielm99]

97. Just look at all these replies!

We are a clumsy group indeed.

[Baitball Blogger]

104. I love my DUers.

Everyone has klutzy moments. It's a dishonest person who says otherwise.

[zbdent]

106. "Dumbest"? Well ... "karate-chopping" a piece of wood during wood shop in high school ...

(wasn't even that thick).

I do believe that I can still feel a piece of bone in the hand that might have been damaged. 30+ years ago.

Dumbest way I've injured someone else?

Broke my brother's wrist playing with a 69 cent football at Thanksgiving when I was about 8.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

112. lol

[Baitball Blogger]

118. Another classic.

A karate chop to a cement block would have been more amusing in the retelling. But wood would do.

[wmyers]

107. Car Door

I got out of the car pushed the door lock button, shut the door trapping four fingers of my right hand, also dropping the keys just out of reach. Fingers were ok pride really damaged.

[Baitball Blogger]

119. I shut the car door on my Grandmother's hand.

Worst feeling ever.

[Rhiannon12866]

120. I broke my foot in HS gym class

Running in place. I was on crutches for a couple of months, and of course people asked...

[Baitball Blogger]

122. Oh. Man. You gotta meet the guy who broke his foot playing air guitar.

[Scuba]

126. When I was a kid, there was this apple tree in our yard...

... by late fall every apple had been harvested, many eaten on the spot. Well, not every apple. There were a couple beauties left, way, way up high in the tree.

I couldn't climb up there because the branches were too thin. I couldn't shake the apples free, even when I looped a rope around the branches and jerked and tugged with all my might.

I just couldn't get them loose. Or could I? A lightbulb went on and an idea flashed in my brain. The light apparently then went right back off, because no further thinking occurred until "afterwards".

I quickly tied the end of the rope to the rear fender of my bicycle, jumped on and sped away. Surely the force I would be able to generate would bring down those apples!

When I got to the end of the rope, the tree branches gave, just a little. My bike then came to an abrupt halt just as the branches rebounded sending the rear fender of my bike flying upward. I was launched high and far. My actual flight was brief but it seemed to take longer and happen in slow motion. It was very exciting. Fortunately I broke my fall by doing a face-plant on the concrete pavement so nothing important was harmed.

I don't recall if any apples came free or not.

It was my first experience with tachypsychia.

[Baitball Blogger]

129. Very interesting and educational.

I never saw the whiplash effect coming. And I learned what tachypsychia is.

Great post. Thanks.

[Scuba]

131. Thanks. I've been interested in physics ever since. Tachypsycia I prefer to avoid...

... although there have been a couple other incidents. It's an fascinating experience that causes one to examine their mind differently. Unfortunately, it seems only sheer terror brings it on.


I suspect lots of critters experience it just before being eaten.

[GoCubsGo]

128. I dropped a 2 liter bottle of ginger ale on my pinkie toe and broke it.

Damn, it hurt! But, interestingly, because my toe was swollen for so long, its grossly-deformed toe nail grew back halfway normal. I had the same thing happen on my other foot, when I stubbed the other pinkie toe and broke it.

[Baitball Blogger]

130. Interesting about the toenail.

Maybe because that part of the body was getting a good supply of blood?

[GoCubsGo]

136. I think it was more that it wasn't rubbing on my shoe.

Most women's shoes tend to be pointy in the toe box, while my feet are more squared off. So, my little toes have been rubbing on my shoes all my life, and that caused the toenails to become deformed. They were more "corns" than toenails. When I broke the toes, they kind of swelled/raised up enough to where there is not much contact of the toenail with the shoe. I also spent a lot of time in Birkenstocks afterward. I think it's allowing them to grow back more normally. Not that they resemble a "normal" toenail even now.

[progressoid]

133. Chipped a tooth on a fried egg once.

[Baitball Blogger]

139. I would have understood if you said a hard boiled egg.

I'm assuming you left a piece of the shell in the scramble?

[Nikia]

134. I punched a hole in my thumb with the milk machine during freshman orientation at college

The mechanism involved metal joints and I accidently lifted it up too far, which got it stuck on. To correct the situation, I pushed in one of the metal points which came down on my thumb. Somehow, it managed to get it out. The cafeteria staff helped me bandage it up and I insisted that I did not need to go to the hospital. It did stop bleeding but there was a significant hole there for a while. Within days, they had a different milk machine that did not have the safety hazard that hurt me. Evidently they switched the machine just because I was the first one stupid enough to get injured with it.
Another safety change that happened because of my stupid injury came when I rode my bicycle across railroads tracks and ended up with major scrapes and a bent bike. I walked to the nearest business, which was some kind of small office that allowed me to wash my wounds in their bathroom fixed me up with band aids. A week later, there were yellow signs up that said "Caution: Railroad tracks may catch bicycle tires."
As far as I know though, I am not the source of any weird consumer device warning labels like "Do not eat" on packets of dessicants.

[Baitball Blogger]

140. I know the feeling.

I'm fond of saying that my family serves to find the cracks in the system.

I will say that with the right attorney, you could have been compensated for your product testing skills.

[panader0]

135. I have hurt myself many different ways

but the dumbest was punching the wall in anger many years ago. I broke bones in my hand and was out of work for two weeks.
I never did it again. I once got my arm caught in a large mortar mixer. I put a bag of mortar into the mixer, but part of the bag went in too. I took the mixer out of gear and reached in to retrieve the paper. My knee accidentally hit the gear lever and my arm was caught. The mixer blades took meat off my left arm. When I got to the hospital, the lady at the desk asked me to fill out some forms. I showed her the blood trail through the room and she nearly fainted. 35 stitches, and pain, but thank god the paddles missed the elbow bone. After a month all was good except for permanent numbness in one area below the elbow.

[Baitball Blogger]

141. That sounds harrowing. Sorry for the experience.

Though I would have loved to have seen that receptionist's face.

[SkatmanRoth]

138. I was rebuilding a Quadrajet and sprayed cleaner down this little hole

I stuck the red straw that comes with the can of cleaner into this little hole and cut loose. The cleaner sprayed right back into my eyes and nose through another little hole not far from the one I was cleaning.

People do not realize how lucky they are to have fuel injection.

[Baitball Blogger]

142. Sounds like something you would see in a Coyote - Road Runner cartoon.

Never saw that one coming.

[Nevernose]

143. Knocked myself out with a cabinet door

I was a senior in high school. I'd painted some cabinets in my bedroom and didn't realize they were still wet when I closed them.

Later I tried to open them, found them stuck, and pulled for all I was worth -- and I was a big, broad guy. I pulled with both hands while pushing with both feet. The door flew open, there was a blinding white light, and I woke up, on the floor, almost an hour later.

[Baitball Blogger]

146. You were lucky you were watching the time.

Something similar happened to me but I don't know if it was seconds or minutes that passed. However, I didn't have any evidence of an injury. How about you? Did you feel sore in the back of your head?

[dembotoz]

144. ya know the scene in Christmas story where the kid gets his tougne stuck on the flagpole?

was not a flag pole but a railing
stuck my tounge out at the neighbor kid
hit the cold metal
stuck tight

took serveral pots of warm water to free it.
hurt like hell

[Baitball Blogger]

147. That was probably the neighbor kid's best day on the planet.

It's okay to be generous, but not THAT generous. Ouch.

[Art_from_Ark]

145. You weren't eating a pretzel at the time, were you?

[Baitball Blogger]

148. I had two hands on the cellphone.

That's my prob. I text like a mom.

[aikoaiko]

149. Fell in love with a well-known sinister woman.

[Baitball Blogger]

150. You know what they say about love and marriage.

Find a woman you absolutely can't stand and buy her a house.

[caraher]

151. When I was a kid I found a razor blade...

I wondered how sharp it was. For some reason the handiest thing I could find to test that was my thumb. Yeah, it was sharp all right... I don't think it sank in very deep but there was plenty of blood!

[Baitball Blogger]

152. That reminds me about a pet peeve in movies.

Whenever someone decides to draw blood they cut themselves across the palm of the hand. How stupid. Because the next thing you see they're doing gymnastics flips on a rail, climbing up ladders, holding an axe and cutting wood. And never is there a gush of blood from the wound getting in their way.

[hunter]

156. I have fifty year old scars across my fingers from a razor blade.

That same year I drank a cup of paint thinner.

I'm not sure how my parents kept me alive.

[HopeHoops]

153. Fell off the roof of a moving car. I was drunk and 18, okay?

Stupid is what stupid does.

[Baitball Blogger]

154. I'm beginning to see the pattern.

[HopeHoops]

155. It's imprinted. It hasn't changed.

[hunter]

157. I dropped a glass milk bottle and tried to catch it before it hit the ground.

I jammed a big shard of glass into my hand and severed a small artery. Blood was shooting out of my hand every time my heart beat.

It made a huge mess, blood and milk everywhere.

[Baitball Blogger]

158. What a kodak moment.

There are times that I drop things and my hand just reaches out and grabs the thing as it falls before my brain has a chance to figure out what has happened. Except, once I really screwed up. I was reaching down to collect the dog poo in a plastic bag when my glasses fell off my face. Yup.

[caraher]

159. My wife scared me half to death with a move like that

She dropped a knife and caught it between her legs to keep it from falling to the floor - drove it well into one thigh. Fortunately it missed the big artery... Every time I see that knife (and she uses it daily) I think of it as the knife that tried to kill her. I hate the thing!

[backtoblue]

160. on labor day last year

my family had a small bbq. I got my plate of food and went to sit down on a wooden rocking chair in the front yard. As soon as I sat down, the chair flipped over backwards. I hit my head on a rock and knocked myself out cold. Had to go to the ER for a concussion.

[Baitball Blogger]

165. I thought they built rockers to avoid that kind of thing.

[backtoblue]

167. it was a "sliding" rocker

kind of like this one, but not real wood

[Baitball Blogger]

168. There must have been a part missing.

I think you were sabotaged!

[backtoblue]

169. hmmm...

It could've been my ultra-conservative grandpa... I'm gonna have to keep my eye on him!

[charlie and algernon]

161. So I was young, stupid and bored sitting in my mom's car by myself

She was doing stuff at a car dealership or something and I was bored sitting in the car waiting for her to get back.

So I decided to play with the car cigarette lighter. My parents aren't smokers so I had never seen it in action and wanted to see what it was all about. Yeah... so turns out it gets hot enough to give your pinky a good 2nd degree burn.

I was way to embarassed to admit what I had done and somehow I managed to hide that I had hurt myself so well that my mom never caught on when she got back, nor did they let on that they knew in the week or so that it took to heal.

[Baitball Blogger]

166. I went through one of those quiet sufferings too.

I begged my parents to let me go to my friend's ranch, which was out in the boondocks. They were super over-protective. What I didn't know was that we sat in a pile of chiggers. Until they lived out their cycle, burrowed under the skin, I was in intense pain. I tried to drown them in the bathtub, but that's where it hurt even more.

[frogmarch]

162. Thought I had an eyelash in my eye,

and when I got hold of it with my fingers and pulled it out, it turned out to be a blood vessel. I’d been having problems with hay fever and my eyes were sort of bloodshot.

By the time I realized it wasn’t an eyelash, I’d pulled quite a long string of it out of my eye. I snipped it with cuticle scissors and the connected part went back to my eye and made a blob. In a few weeks it went away.

[Baitball Blogger]

170. OMIGOD!

And I thought the day I tried to pull my cornea out thinking it was a hard lens was bad enough.

You win.

[Iggo]

174. Aaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!!!!!!

AAAAAaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!!!

[Iggo]

163. Changing batteries on some device, standing at my kitchen counter.

Battery falls to the counter, starts rolling toward the edge. I gauge the speed and figure I can set the device and the battery cover down before I move to catch the battery in mid-air as it falls off the counter. Pretty smooth, right?

Battery rolls off the counter, I lean over quick to make the catch and BLAM! Forehead smacks full-on on the kitchen counter!

Yeah. Smooth.

[Baitball Blogger]

171. Two dimensional thinking in a three dimensional world.

I get it.

[Iggo]

173. Yessir!

Nowadays I'd just say "Well, look at that" and let it drop.

One of the few instances when a sharp rap to the head actually made me smarter.

[Broderick]

164. throwing bullets we found into a fire

age 10

scars remain

[Baitball Blogger]

172. Okay. Not cool.

You're lucky to come out of it alive.

[mykpart]

175. I broke my toe

when I stubbed it on Stretch Armstrong.