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Wed Mar 3, 2021, 05:33 PM

Anyone besides me think "I want to speak to your manager!" might be the result of

bad assertiveness training?

We live in a society in which assertiveness coaches, official or unofficial, professional or just well-meaning amateurs, urge their subjects to "Go for what you want! Don't let anyone stand in your way! You deserve better! Don't take 'no' for an answer! If someone tells you no, you just keep pushing and fighting for what you know is yours!"

Uncivil public behavior has been around forever, of course. But I wonder if the rise of expressive entitlement might be the result of such thoughtless social aggression?



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Reply Anyone besides me think "I want to speak to your manager!" might be the result of (Original post)
Aristus Mar 3 OP
underpants Mar 3 #1
belpejic Mar 3 #2
Harker Mar 3 #3
Cirque du So-What Mar 3 #4
ret5hd Mar 3 #5
Ocelot II Mar 3 #6
Fla Dem Mar 3 #7
Mr.Bill Mar 3 #8

Response to Aristus (Original post)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 05:39 PM

1. It's just entitled bored nasty people

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Response to Aristus (Original post)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 05:46 PM

2. I don't know if it's more prevalent than in the past

But it certainly leads to undesirable interactions.

I've noticed that this is particularly true when it comes to social situations where someone, often a male, will make an unwanted advance on someone else using the logic that "the worst that can happen is that they say no."

Actually, putting someone on the spot like that has the potential to not only make them very uncomfortable (and angry), but also to lead them to avoid situations in the future where they might be likely to be propositioned again. It would be one thing if this only happened at bars, parties, etc., but it happens everywhere, including some places, like the workplace, where the affected person has to go every day to earn a living. This is one of the reasons why workplace harassment, and harassment in general, is so pernicious.

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Response to Aristus (Original post)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 05:54 PM

3. One is either right or wrong.

When you're right, keep at it.

When you're wrong, learn from it.

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Response to Aristus (Original post)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 05:54 PM

4. I think it's broader, more general, than that

Our society rewards assholes and reinforces that notion in so many ways. Assertiveness training is just one manifestation of this ideology. That said, I have no doubt that those who receive assertiveness training would have no qualms about demanding everything get handed to them immediately. Who woulda thought Veruca Salt would become a role model?

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Response to Aristus (Original post)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 05:55 PM

5. I think it is the result (maybe inevitable) of...

(For the record, I am in my early 60's, and this may play in to how I view this.)

The way I see it is this:

As a society, we are essentially a nation of rich spoiled brats.

We, as a society, are like the eldest child of a family that built a dynasty---a big factory, or whatever. We just see the world as "this is how it's always been and will always be--MINE!".

Our earlier generations built all this infrastructure and investments...roads, schools, vaccines, postal service, hospitals, oil wells, bridges, electrification, coal mines, etc...and paid off all these HUGE bills...Revolutionary War, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, etc.

And WE (meaning from early adulthood all the way up to just slightly older than me) were just handed it on a silver platter. We were told to maintain and continue building, and enjoy all this bounty.

But somewhere we lost sight of what our duties were and only remembered what we are "entitled" to. And like that spoiled brat, we are usually insufferable.

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Response to Aristus (Original post)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 06:12 PM

6. Sometimes it does become necessary to speak to the manager,

but it should be possible to make that request without being a rude, entitled jerk.

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Response to Ocelot II (Reply #6)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 09:19 PM

7. +1,000

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Response to Aristus (Original post)

Wed Mar 3, 2021, 09:27 PM

8. People who say that

were the most fun thing when I owned my own business.

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