I just can't bring myself to kick someone's ass when...

[trof]

they're doing such a truly magnificent job of it themselves.


Miz t. lost/misplaced a credit card yesterday.
We both know the last time she used it.
I was with her.
We'd bought a few groceries and I went out to the car for a smoke while she checked out.

Instead of putting her card back in her wallet and in her purse, she grabbed the one grocery bag, the receipt, and the CREDIT CARD, walked out to the car with all three in her hand, and put them in the back seat.

"I thought I'd put it back in my wallet when we got home."

We ALWAYS put credit cards back in the wallet after using.
ALWAYS.
It's just the natural thing to do.

We were in no hurry.
No pressing engagement.
Not late for an appointment.
What can I say?
It was a boneheaded move.

But I can't get on her case about this.
She's doing too good of a job all by herself.


It's not that big of a problem.
We contacted the credit card company and we're covered.
If it doesn't turn up in a few days we'll get new cards.
Bit of a pain in the butt, but not a real biggie.

Boy, is she kicking herself.
I feel sorry for her.

[RebelOne]

1. I did something similar.

I had gone to the ATM at my local supermarket to make a deposit with my bank card. When I went to pay for my groceries, I discovered I did not have my bank card and realized I had left in the ATM. After a certain amount of time, the ATM will eat your card if you don't retrieve it. Fortunately, no one else got it and I got a new card from the bank. But it was a pain not having the card because I use if for all purchases, so I had to write checks for a few days.

[Major Nikon]

2. My wife averages about 2 lost credit cards per year

I have a very simple rule. My credit card is either in my hand, or in my wallet. So I can look down and if it's not in my hand, I know it's in my wallet. I haven't lost a credit card in many years.

[trof]

3. Right. In my hand or in my wallet.

[trof]

4. Just walked into the kitchen and patted her on the butt.

"Isn't your fanny sore?"
"What?"
"Well, you've been kicking yourself for a while now. I just thought it might be time to stop."
"No, I'm still kicking."
But at least I got a smile out of her.

[MiddleFingerMom]

5. One of my proudest moments:

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This was in the late 80's and I was going to school on the GI bill (an end-of-month check). I went to my
bank, knowing that I had $30 in my account -- put aside for groceries for that last week of the month.
.
I went to the ATM machine and found that I had a negative $4 balance. Impossible -- I didn't write checks
and it was impossible to overdraw via an ATM card. I went inside, certain that it would be easily fixed.
.
Both the regular manager AND assistant manager were off to different seminars and the interim manager
was a real asshole. She treated me with disdain and automatically presumed that I had been the one to
make the mistake.
.
I explained to her calmly the situation... how I could NOT have overdrawn and how important that money
was (I had no food for the next week).
.
She finally asked me if I had all my ATM receipts for the last 2 months.
.
Who the fuck carries all their ATM receipts for the last 2 months?
.
She sniffed and smiled a nasty smile and said that she couldn't help me.
.
I went out to my car, FURIOUS!!!
.
Then realized that, in my glovebox, I had all my ATM receipts for the last 2 months.
.
.
Who the fuck carries all their ATM receipts for the last 2 months? Apparently... I did.
.
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I went back in and made her compare them to their records. It was a grueling 20-30 minutes, but she
finally had to admit that it had been the bank's mistake. No apology whatsoever. None. And no change
in arrogant, dismissive attitude either.
.
Realizing my situation, she gave me another nasty smile and said that the money would be available
to me within 10 business days (this was from some post-Depression era regulation that said the bank
had up to 10 days to provide money on demand -- set up for extreme circumstances that might provoke
a run on the bank).
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My stomach growled.
.
I growled louder.
.
Not normally an aggressive sort, I stood up to my full height, leaned far over her desk 'til I was
nose-to-nose with her, and very calmy explained that I was a very large, very HUNGRY man and
I wanted my money right then and there!!! (THIS being the fore-mentioned proudest moment.)
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She gulped hard and I had my money and was out of there in less than 5 minutes.
.
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If she had been the regular manager there, she probably would have called the cops, but she
almost certainly knew that her temporary appointment was a kind of probationary look at how
she would function at that level and it might have been a career-freezer for her if those above
her were to find out just how she had handled the whole matter.
.
.
.

[loli phabay]

6. way to go threatening someone smaller than you and especially a women

not sure if i would have been proud of the gettting in her face part.

[MiddleFingerMom]

7. You appear to have missed the arrogant and dismissive disrespect part.

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.
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She was in no danger. But I wanted to let her know that her behavior was absolutely unacceptable.
.
Can you think of a better way? And don't say "Contact her superiors". He said/she said would have
applied. I needed my money right then and there.
.
I was not thinking of her as smaller than me or as a woman. I was thinking of her as an abusive
asshole. SHE was abusing her "power". I did not deserve to be treated as I was... but she did deserve
my behavior.
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.
.

[loli phabay]

8. yeah i saw that part but your behaviour was much worse, you physically threatened her

or do you think that standing to your immense full height and then putting your face in hers is somehow not threatening. i thnk the abusive asshole was the one who felt it was his proudest moment to get in a womens face in this way as he felt she deserved it. Bravo you must be very proud.


My stomach growled.
.
I growled louder.
.
Not normally an aggressive sort, I stood up to my full height, leaned far over her desk 'til I was
nose-to-nose with her, and very calmy explained that I was a very large, very HUNGRY man and
I wanted my money right then and there!!! (THIS being the fore-mentioned proudest moment.)
.
She gulped hard and I had my money and was out of there in less than 5 minutes.

[MiddleFingerMom]

9. Again, I did not deserve her behavior. She DID deserve mine.

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That's all I have to say on the matter. You have a nice day.
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.

[loli phabay]

10. yeah she deserved to be physically threatened

you keep telling yourself that,

[7wo7rees]

11. Some women need to be threatened, just as some men do.

Threadkilla!

[A Simple Game]

18. Now in MFM's defense he was hungry and waiting 10 days

was not an option.

Now this being the internet and a forum, your proper response after admonishing him about his behavior would be to tell us how he should have handled the situation.

So.....how should he have handled it?

And how do you know she wasn't bigger than he was? Assume much?

[loli phabay]

19. yeah what kinda defence is that... seems kinda sad that not only did he do it

But he is proud he did it and boasting about it all over the web. You think with introspection you would be ashamed of behaving like a wanker.

[A Simple Game]

27. And I would have thought that if you took the time to post an answer

you would have taken the time to reply to my question.

My question: So.....how should he have handled it?
To which I will add: and waiting 10 days was not an option.

[loli phabay]

28. you really think that question needs answered

Well do you believe getting in her face and intimidatijg her as he so proudly wrote is anyway to act regardless if he was hungry or not. Or is their a time limit in behaviour like that you know i havent eaten in two hours so i willngo intimidate someone.

[backwoodsbob]

12. let me guess

you are an HOF poster

[dionysus]

13. you didn't.

oh hell yeah

[loli phabay]

14. sometimes but that makes no difference to a guy and a large guy at that

threatening a women. Not sure what kind of guy thinks this is acceptable.

[HarveyDarkey]

29. If it were a man it would be acceptable?

Do I sense a double standard here?

[WillParkinson]

15. I do not see where she was physically threatened...

He did not say give it to me or I will kick your ass. At best he intimidated her. At no time did he threaten violence upon her person.

[loli phabay]

16. okay if thats what you think

in·tim·i·date (n-tm-dt)
tr.v. in·tim·i·dat·ed, in·tim·i·dat·ing, in·tim·i·dates
1. To make timid; fill with fear.
2. To coerce or inhibit by or as if by threats.

[MiddleFingerMom]

17. Folks, this is The Lounge, not Meta or GD or HOF... we try to limit the drama here, OK.

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It's even in the SOP.
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[turtlerescue1]

20. What would be "acceptable" behavior?

Its like taking on City Hall when you challenge a bank. Still if you know you are right, and that the mistake is their's to OWN, in the meantime your belly is yelling loudly...

Ahhh MFM, there is nothing I do not lose, car keys to birth certificate to plastic cards that are thin enough to slide between just about anything. My bank figures twice a year I'll misplace something, sometimes its three times. Especially if there is a long line behind me at checkout.

[seabeyond]

21. wtf does hof have to do with it? you brag using your physical size to intimidate a woman, someone

called you on it, ..... leave hof the fuck out of it. geeeezus. whine about it being the lounge as you arbitrarily bring in hof, who has done nothing. though, i guess for anyone to challenge a man using physical intimidation to get what he wants gets a thumbs up in my book, regardless of being a part of any group or not.

gonna take hof out of the equation?

not your little whipping group. and just cause it is the lounge doesnt mean you can call out a group in bullshit at will with no one addressing it.

you take it out, i self delete and leave you alone to feel good about using physical size to intimidate a woman. not all women back the fuck down.

[MiddleFingerMom]

22. PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE... DRAMA, FOLKS.

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PLEASE... just let it go.
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Thank you.
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[seabeyond]

23. then why did you.... take out hof. i delete. we have nothing to do with it. YOU

are feeding the drama.

i do not get it. there is a group on du that feels they can take a swipe at us anytime, for any reason, and are immune to anyone challenging. simple. edit, and i delete.

[loli phabay]

26. you know i argue with you guys all the time but i cant believe people are letting this crap stand

No idea if its fear of the poster or agreeement in his methods either way its cowardice.

[MiddleFingerMom]

24. PLEASE DON'T FEED THE DRAMA, FOLKS.

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I'm off to my doctor's appointment.
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Thank you.
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..

[loli phabay]

25. i guess some people are used to forcing women to do what they are told.

The lady is right you need yo own up and realise you're being a prat. I dont think you will though.