I can't help feeling guilty this morning. I woke next to the open bedroom window

[Atticus]

hearing birdsong---the sweet liquid rasp of the redwing blackbird, the "purdy, purdy" of cardinals, the melodious wrens that never cease to amaze.

I threw on a robe and took a mug of fresh coffee to a lawn chair on our deck and looked---really looked---at the rising sun, the budding trees, the green grass, blue sky and a scud of high white clouds drifting north. It was all so beautiful---to me, at least---that I could hardly take it all in. And then, I remembered Ukraine and I wept.

Wishing, hoping, praying that I could somehow erase the horror of the gruesome slaughter of innocents taking place there seems so transparently useless that it shames me. I have so much; I have such puny concerns.

Today, I will try to be more appreciative of the privilege that is mine only by accident of birth. I will try to be what the warmongers are not: kind and tolerant and generous.

Somehow, I think I will still feel guilty.

Just more dawn ramblings of an ancient soul.

[Renew Deal]

1. Dramatic

[abqtommy]

2. I once had a psychiatrist tell me that 'Guilt is a terrible thing' and I pass that along

without ever having found out how to avoid it. We all just do the best we can.

[70sEraVet]

5. 'Guilt' is the curse of an intelligent, social species. Or at least, it OUGHT to be.

[tekriter]

9. Guilt is a true sign of both

…a conscience and a soul.

[samnsara]

3. i think helplessness is more what i feel..just so damned helpless

..i expressed my true feelings on fb and that post got removed. oh well, it was cathartic to say it...

[jaxexpat]

6. My wrens don't "melodious". They screech, sometimes angrily, all the time. Busy, too.

Must be knock-off wrens or seconds. But you get what you pay for. I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face. I shoulda' known right then, I'd been taken. I'll never shop at a low wrent store again!

[VGNonly]

14. Bluejays also

Beautiful shape and colors....but screech very loudly and they are total pricks.

[jaxexpat]

18. Feathered T-Rex wannabes, each and every one!

Were t-rexes blue? They didn't leave any color photos.

[Ziggysmom]

7. I share those feelings. Before work I cannot take in any news or I am unable to concentrate.

You are doing the right thing by spending time outdoors with nature instead of endless doom scrolling online.

The COVID-19 pandemic has already stretched our minds and bodies with excessive worry and depression. Processing another horrid crisis is truly overwhelming. Coming here to DU and being heard and validated helps us feel less alone in our feelings, and I am very thankful for this site and everyone here.

[True Blue American]

8. I stepped out on my porch

Before daylight. Birds were singing. A bird come close. I feared The Birds, part 2 for a minute!

[kozar]

10. Pre dawn coffee

And watching the creation of another day as the sun comes up. Has a special power, I schedule 4 days a week for this scenario. It is meditative, insightful, and empowering as I have ever found, without needing another human around.

Great post!

KozandLilBit

[SouthernDem4ever]

11. Right there with you

I don't know how anyone could show support for that situation, or Russia in general. They are void of all human decency.

[Marthe48]

12. I'd rather have the soundtrack of birdsong

But we have a backdrop of unprovoked war, with a cacophony of a cruel and ignorant flock of bleating and bellowing herd animals. We are hoping the director will change the backdrop and replace the clang of empty barrels and squeaky wheels with the pleasant soundscape of happy people getting along.

In the meantime, we try to contribute kindness, tolerance and generousity to make up for the people who can't or won't. We will try to add some joy in our corner of the world, and maybe like ripples, it'll spread across the surface, and gently roil the depths.

Keep on keepin on

[Dial H For Hero]

13. I applaud your compassion, but I'm puzzled as to why you feel guilty.

You’ve done nothing whatsoever that causes the people of Ukraine to suffer.

[Atticus]

17. It's complicated. Was there SOMETHING else I might have done to stop Trump in 2016 or the

steady escalation of intolerance and ruthlessness for decades before he "blossomed"?

Would Putin have felt he could invade and slaughter with impunity if Hillary had moved into the White House in 2017?

Should I have given more of my time and money? Couldn't I have spared more?

I dunno. I say "complicated"; some would say "silly". Either way, I own it.

[Martin Eden]

15. Empathy

Perhaps the most significant difference between us and those on the side of rightwing authoritarianism both abroad and here in the USA.

[kozar]

16. This. Nt

[niyad]

19. In the midst of horror, there are still moments of beauty, kindness, courage and

love. And, as you are doing today, we reach for them, treasure them. They are absolutely necessary. Such are what distinguish us from the monsters who create the horrors.

[Hekate]

28. This. We need the respite.

[panader0]

20. I had almost the same morning at my place.

Up before the sun, I let my adventurous cat out with me as I fed the birds and watered all the
plants. Pollux, the cat, ran from smell to smell, and the birds started their chirping to announce
that there was seed in the feeders. Soon there would be a dozen or more enjoying their breakfast.
I carried two five gallon buckets out to the trough I put in for the wild critters, namely coyotes and
javelinas. It's so dry this time of year and they really need the water.
Then watered in the greenhouse, checking the progress of my food crops. And checking the
growth of the 36 pot plants I just started.
All the time, like you thinking of how the ease of my life contrasted with what others are enduring,
not just in Ukraine, but even here in my rural neighborhood. My old bass player died Thursday at
his trailer across the road. I found him when I went to deliver a care package. I feel the need to
make the rest of my life kind and tolerant and generous too.
Good post brother.

[chika]

21. don't feel guilty, we feel guilty only when, we are able to help, we are helples dear.

[The Magistrate]

24. Well Said, Ma'am

Welcome to the forum.

[llashram]

35. I feel guilty as a vet

enjoying the 'freedoms' we enjoy without having to listen for incoming and exploding munitions. I feel guilty not being able to respond to monsters slaughtering innocent babies children seniors. I can relate to that person you are responding to...why don't you...again? Don't understand your answer

[joanbarnes]

22. Thanks for the small comfort knowing others are feeling the same.

[jmbar2]

23. Thanks for posting those thoughts

Just finished my morning coffee on the balcony and am feeling the same thing. I just can't get my head around how much evil is in the world today. It has shaken me to the core.

The only comfort I get is by staying politically engaged, and then disengaging for nature breaks.

I pray for some kind of lightning strike breakthrough in Russian and Republican mentalities that will stop this cruelty.

[padah513]

25. Sorry for your sadness

But that was some beautiful prose

[Evolve Dammit]

26. Excellent post Atticus. I share very similar feelings. I fly the Ukranian flag.

[LittleGirl]

27. You said it better than I could.

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful.

[BobTheSubgenius]

29. I'm going to say this despite the somberness of your OP, and speak to the parts that aren't so dark.

Not to minimize the darkness in the world, but to hopefully celebrate our better angels, and the blessings we have.

You write some beautiful prose. Maybe it takes your real appreciation of the beauty that exists to really grasp the ugliness that also exists.

[wnylib]

30. Two evenings ago I listened to

A very brave and dedicated woman tell a group of people gathered in a church basement about her experiences as an aid worker in Poland. Her work includes crossing into Ukraine to drop off food, medicine, Kevlar vests for Ukrainian civilians turned fighters. While in Ukraine, she picks up refugees to take back with her to Poland.

She was back in the US to touch base with her family, raise more funds, and collect items for her return trip to Poland. She is in her 60s and has past experience in the Peace Corps, has previously lived abroad in Africa, the Middle East, and Poland. She is organizing a network of people to handle the donations and the logistics of shipments to Poland so she can remain there to continue her work. She said that small groups of volunteers from all over are able to accomplish more in getting things to where they are needed than the large aid organizations are able to do with their red tape and restrictions.

When asked if she was afraid, she said that, of course she has fears, but she knows that her life experience gives her the skills that are needed there so she cannot not go. If she dies there, she will die doing something that makes a difference.

I found myself questioning what I have accomplished with my life and what can I do to help. I need to be cautious about covid exposure, but there are at least things that I can do from home by phone and online, to help raise funds, recruit the people she needs, and make people aware of what she is doing.

The contrast between her life and mine is humbling, to say the least.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

31. I just can't do it.

My mindset changed a long time ago... be kind and fair to the people within my own sphere of influence.

And there's LOTS of people who struggle to do even that! Every single company where I've ever worked has included people trying to get MORE for less effort, for example, which goes against my moral training... from kindergarten!

I haven't had to directly deal with someone like Putin, thankfully, but it's the same kind of behavior on a much bigger scale.

[Stuart G]

32. (About Blessings) A long time ago, used to wake up early..And watch the sunrise over Lake Michigan..

...beautiful and wonderful..The beach and lakefront is about 5 miles away. I got pictures of some sunrises.


On a totally clear day, I have imagined..(not done) but imagined driving to the beach where I live, and watching the
sunrise over the lake, then driving about 200 -miles to the other side of the lake, and watching the sunset over the
lake...in the same day. Think about that one if you can..

Some days, ...(another one about .."Blessings&quot when I climb up the stairs in my two story townhouse, I am grateful
for the stairs that I am able to climb. (There was a time, before my hip surgery, that it was painful to climb those stairs...
I needed a cane)...After hip surgery ......NO CANE AT ALL.................i guess it is those kind of things that
we need to be grateful for. And often we are not...

By the way, the cane that I used to climb up the stairs, is now located pasted against the wall. half way up the stairs,
so I see it every time I climb up those 14 stairs from my kitchen where I eat, to the bedroom where I sleep.

[lordsummerisle]

33. k&r n/t

[Mr.Bill]

34. I seem to carry a little guilt every day

because while my wife has a list of health issues. The last time I was hospitalized was 63 years ago when I had my tonsils out. Last trip to the emergency room was 1965 due to a skateboard accident. I work through it by being thankful to be healthy enough so I can focus my efforts on taking care of her. It would be a much different world if I needed as much medical care as she does.

We do both manage to enjoy the good things, though.