My girlfriend and I hit 5 months together this Friday

[vercetti2021]

I've been pretty sick, but I'm getting better now. (not covid, I have stomach related problems) We are going to Dallas for the weekend to see this Van Gogh art exhibit. I'm fairly certain she is the person I wanna spend my life with. She's sweet, funny, an extremely talented artist on top of it all. I'd love nothing more than to purpose to her there. But would it still be too soon? I'm afraid if I did it now, it would be a shock to her and she might reject it. But I love her and her daughter so much. I feel it would perfect. But I'm afraid it could be too soon to do so.

Maybe I should just take her to dinner somewhere special like the Rain Forest Cafe? I'm not very familiar with Dallas to be honest. I've only been a handful of times.

If you can't tell. I'm not at all nervous

[Walleye]

1. Be a little bit cautious, but go for it. Good luck!

[rubbersole]

2. Go for it...life is short.

Ask them both on a "vacation" and propose afterwards at home. Good luck! You're already very lucky vercetti.

[vercetti2021]

3. That's a good point

Mean it is a vacation after all! I'm so nervous lol just thinking about it makes me very nervous. I'd love to be her wife and her daughters step mom. Just the idea could drive someone insane.

[rubbersole]

4. Don't let it drive you insane...

even though it probably already has!🤪 New love is incredibly exciting...relish this time. Who knows? She might propose to you...

[vercetti2021]

5. I'm fine with either

But she knows I'm more prone to breaking down despite the toughness I might show. Crunchy outside with the soft center. But if she did it, I'd be more than happy.

[MiHale]

6. The worst that can happen...

Ia a negative response anything above that is a win for you.

I knew my future wife for definitely less than 5 months, she was in the shower, I was laying on the bed with my feet up the wall and blurted out “Hey what month do you want to get married?” She yelled back, “October!”
This was late summer, 1973 we were married that December… missed target month.
We have been together ever since.

Good luck to you.

[vercetti2021]

7. That's really cute actually

Not sure I'd get the same response but lol that would be one hell of a way of doing it

[electron_blue]

8. great! but a vote for caution

I was totally supportive until I got to the part about "her daughter". I think that fact bears being a little more cautious and she may very well be more cautious than she otherwise would because of that. I see it as being respectful of the added responsibility of being a dad/stepdad. I do think it takes more time than 5 months for both sides to be sure about bringing a new parent into the family.

However, I see nothing wrong with making your intentions clear - something along the lines of "I'm not exactly proposing, but that's what I have in mind". Just don't do it in front of the kid. And like the other poster said, do it after the vacation.

[vercetti2021]

9. I agree 100%

Because I want to be a better step mother than mine was to me. I don't want her daughter to feel hurt or pain mine caused me growing up. I'm still going to do something for her down in Dallas. But it's just how I feel about her.

But yeah I couldn't do it in front of her daughter. She likes me now, but if I were to be her step mom. I know she would take an instant dislike to me. I think most kids with single parents are like that because I was. My bestie is going through that same thing with her girlfriend's son as well.

[pnwest]

10. Trust your gut. If you feel like it might be

too soon, it most likely is. No harm in waiting.

[Baggies]

11. Dallas is a great place to purpose someone.

[Danascot]

12. Nobody should

do the down-on-the-knee in public proposals unless you're almost 100% certain he/she is going to say yes. If it's a no it's very stressful for everybody.

[vercetti2021]

14. I know

That's what makes me on the fence about it. That it can go so wrong

[IcyPeas]

13. I think 5 months is not a very long time.

but I seem to be in the minority here who are saying go for it. so what do I know?

but good luck.

[Gaugamela]

15. ...

[vercetti2021]

16. ?

... isnt very helpful

[Gaugamela]

17. Sorry. Just kicking the post.

[vercetti2021]

18. Oh thank you

Sorry didn't you what you're post was going for

[seaglass]

19. I think normally the only surprise about a proposal is when, where and how - in other words

the couple usually has discussed where they think the relationship is going and the "proposer" is very confident the "proposee" will say yes.

Now I won't say if I think 5 months is too short a period of time to make a lifelong commitment - for me it would have been, my husband and I dated for 5 years before we got married but we were also in our early 20s when we started dating and I wasn't sure I ever wanted to get married.

Both my daughter and son - millennials, in relationships for years and both married now, knew the status of their relationships before accepting/proposing. The surprise was where the proposal was happening, when it was happening and how it was happening.

Anyways my advice would be to be sure that you both see the relationship going in the same direction before proposing. My opinion is that the only "proposee" who says no, is one that did not have this discussion.